Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Hands.

Threateningly huge yellow flames-an image that will haunt her for the rest of her life- was the last thing that Maria saw before she collapsed onto the floor of her burning house.

Maria tried to open her eyes but she could not. It was too much of work and anyways her eyes would not open.She stopped the on going war with her eyelids as she became aware of other things around her.There were parts of her that she could not feel and there were others where something terrible had happened.Excruciating pain would erupt without a warning and she would scream hoping someone would come and just do something.

Then , in some time the pain became too regular or maybe Maria had too little energy left to scream so she lay there moaning painfully.

There was that distinct smell of spirit, there were voices around her, she could hear people walking by .Why wouldn't somebody help her.She tried to scream for help but there was little energy left.

Victor County Hospital.The doctors never lost an opportunity to tell anyone who would listen that they dealt with over 200 patients each day with resources and staff not sufficient for even a hundred.There weren't enough beds, there wasn't enough medicinal supply , patients were poor , nurses irate .Most young doctors came here because they had no choice.All of them left gladly when the compulsary interships came to an end, thankful to have gotten out of the gutter that was called Victor County Hospital.

Nurse Irene stood behind the desk. She kept hoping that the Indian doctor's shift had come to an end for only then would the quiet doctor come to her and sign the register.
Nurse Irene ,45,as usual , could not take her eyes off Dr. Dixit's tall, broad frame approaching towards the desk. She,like most of the nurses at the hospital,was fascinated by the young Indian doctor. He was obviously a mini genius ,his credentials proved that. Why he had chosen VC hospital for his internship when Harvad was an option , no one could figure out. What everyone could easily figure out about the dimpled doctor was that he definitely had a way with patients.And his hands worked wonders.

Dr Samvat R. Dixit, passed a hand through his already dishevelled hair.It had been a long and hectic shift;he had not slept for the past 30 hours and the 5 hour break meant atleast 4 hours of sleep.
As the doctor looked about while Nurse Irene clumsily fiddled with the many registers on the desk, his eyes fell on a young girl, burnt and bruised, on the floor near one of the wards a few feet away.

"Mexican girl, house burnt down, neighbour saved the girl's life, we dont have enough beds, you see, nothing can be done till tomorrow morning, we have given her the painkillers but they wont be of much help,eyes have been badaged so she cannot see, she has to bear the pain , no one can do anything about it,you see.'
Nurse Irene never lost an opprtunity to speak to Dr Dixit.

A case of burns, lying on the floor , a groaning , moaning bundle of flesh.

From where Samvat stood, he could see that the face was disfigured, one hand was almost blackened while the other looked alright.The girl looked scared ,her eys were bandaged with gauze and tape ,she was alone and was obviously in great pain.As Dr Samvat looked at her, Maria ,in the throes of extreme pain once again groaned louder than ever and extended her good hand , as if hoping someone would hold it.

The pain was becoming unbearable.If only someone would be with her.If only someone would tell her it was going to be okay.

"Will you tell me your name?", a kind voice asked.
Maria , delirious, extended her hand murmuring something incoherent.The warmest feeling of reassurance engulfed her as her good hand was clasped between two large, soft and strong hands.
"It will be okay...dont worry, do you hear me?"
Maria groaned a yess.
"Just this one night, we will get you a bed in the morning, just bear it for one night"

Maria , never believed that the neighbour saved her life. It was the voice and the hand that saved her, she would often say later.
Maria would always say that the Hand held hers for a long time.She will never be able to recall that her hand was held for 5 long hours till the wee hours in the morning when the doctor concerned finally arrived.

For the next three months Maria stayed at the VC hospital; always hoping to catch the same slighlty accented voice.Maria underwent four operations during that time; 3 on her face and one on her hand yet the only thoughts in her mind during those 3 months were those of the man who had held her hand that night .A stranger was with her when she most needed someone.

A day before Maria was to be discharged from the hospital, she stood in the gardens outside the hospital looking at a group of young doctors. Apparently one of them, the Indian one,had finished his internship and was leaving.The doctors were a cheerful lot, much unlike the serious ones they were inside the hospital building.

As Maria was about to leave the younsters and head inside she suddenly rememberd something.
Was not the Indian doctor the same guy who had twice or thrice visited her quietly just before and after some crucial surgeries.
He had never spoken but had just looked at her clip board to assess her situation, would smile at the attending nurse and leave.
It had seemed strange then but she never gave it much thought.But at that moment , something struck and she inched closer to where the doctors were standing.

Doctor Samvat R Dixit, who had in a rare demostration of loquaciousness been positively verbose during those couple of minutes waited till his friends were gone and then turned to leave .
ON doing so he stopped in his tracks.In front of him was a girl , with a queer expression on her face , tears flowing uncheked.
Not a word was spoken by either of them.
The girl quietly, smiling in between tears, extended her hand.
A warm, strong hand clasped Maria's as tears of gratitude continued to flow unabated.

--------------------------------------------------------
Deemagi halats not theek hoying.isilye ekta kapoor type drama likhing!
bye bye hoying!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I know I disappear from blogospere with a regularity that surprizes even me.
In my defence I have to say that although I am online for the better part of the day, it is with the GD/PI prep that I find myself busy with.

At times I find myslef having a good time with all this but then having faced so many rejects it gets scary when my mind wanders to that day when[if it hapens this way only] I shall come face to face with another reject..I dunno.. I try to keep that out of mind..coz mebbe that is what is called as 'negative energy' and one should stay as away from it as possible.

Anywayz..in the past few days I almost got married!!
:O:O:O
yess!
Apparently this is supposed ot be personal but I dont find it personal at all...[okay , I am weird, hence proved] but then imagine me [ME!!!!!] talking to some IITian with some Mtech degree working with Microsoft in the U.S of A giving him gobe like 'errr well you see, I really have not thought about marriage at all right now, MBA is such a big dream for me, I do want to study blah blah blah'
yess!
I have actually done that..gosh it was bloddy weird.
What happened was that the guy's dad spoke to my Mum and then the guy called and then I was made to speak to him[!!!!!!!!!!!! aatyachaaarr]
so, there I was, least interested in him, using the very useful excuse of MBA , stalling the inevitable.
The guy was some kind of phd in globe as well!!! Toh he gave me gyaan on how much beter it will be for me to do my MBA from one of the top instis in the USA etc etc
.

Well..it was funny, and in my own way I made it very clear to him that I was genuinely not intersted.

So, that came to end.
But it was funny I would go to Mum and continoulsy threaten her with suicide if she took matters any further.
Heheheh..
Anywayz... for the time being things are okay..and no I am not getting married[jeeez mannn yeh sabb kya drama hota rehta hai!]
anywyaz...
abhi me goes back to GD/PI work..
need to get thru MBA *sgh*
aatyachaars on abla naari!!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

An apology.

Sometimes misunderstandings happen.
Most of the times they remain as such .
It is only very rarely that you end up discussing what happened and are actually able to clear the doubts both of you have.

Specially people like me.Whenever I am hurt by something I get angry and am heart broken and all that but it is only very rarely that I actually tell the other person what hurt me or why I reacted the way I did.

The incident that I am going to narrate here is a small one but has to be spoken of.

So I had to fill the 15 page IIFT CV form. Having never written anything like that I was at a comlpete loss and had no idea how to go about it.So I called up a friend of mine and asked him to help me out. Which he did. We spoke at length , discussing all the questions that had to be answered. Some of the answers that I had decided on ,on my own, were ruthlessly rejected and much better answers provided.
Others , to which I had no clue were answered and so on.
Ultimately there were two questions which remained and my friend asked me to write them properly and mail them to him. He promised to go through them .

Which is exactly what I did. Now my friend happens to be some big hot shot in some big company and attends 8 hour long meetings, so I knew that being the busy guy he is it might be difficult for him to give my sop much time.
Anyways I waited for his reply...which did not come for the next 36 hours.
When it did , it was a tiny e-mail [with my document attatched]wherein he asked me to reduce the number of words and improve the punction[ random stuff which I thought anyone could have suggested without even going through the sop]. He also added that he wuold have reduced the size of the sop himself only if he had some more time.

Funny things anger me and funnier things hurt me.
Somehow , this was one of them.
So I deleted him from my yahoo messenger friend list[:P] and decided I would never ask anyone for any help .
Ever.
I also made philosophical comments to other friends about how it is ultimately you yourself who has to do all the work; you can never ask/ expect any help.

So there I was angry and hurt..but as it is against my policy to tell anyone about what is actually going on in my head ,discussing the whole thing with Friend was not even an option.

Today, however we had a talk.
Somehow our conversation[ I had been giving him the cold shoulder till then the sad asar of ekta kapoor and her serials] moved to my sop.
A few minutes later I found myself quickly opening my mail again.I opened his mail, opened the attatchment and read it.
There was my SOP, completedely transformed ,a 100 times better, sitting there smiling a smug smile at me.

I had jsut read the email and had not even opened the document.And my frined had actually spent one and a half hours working on my SOP from 12:30 in the night to 2.And believe me the effort was visible in the transformation of my SOP from a average one to a very well written one.
However , my crappy CV form had already been sent by the time I finally read the attachment and the edited version stays smug in my folder ,a reminder of how different reality can be from how we perceive it to be.

As part of my 'sazza' for having been an idiot I have been asked to blog about it:P and hence the post.

I hereby apologise to my friend.
I apologise for having thought wrong of you.
I apologise for not taking up the issue with you and clearing it out.
I apologise for having been an idiot.

Sholly sholly sholly sholly.Sholly sholly sholly sholly.Sholly sholly sholly sholly.Sholly sholly sholly sholly.

And on this apologetic note I rest my case.
Happy??:)

p.s. Always check your mails for attachments.

Friday, January 12, 2007

So, my head is basically full these days..
Infact is overflowing..
At nay point in time there are sooooooo many things that have to be done.

CAT was a disaster.
Verbal proved to be my nemesis :(
I can probbaly create a blog dedicated to CAT but will let that be..apart from that 4 results hae ben declared. Have calls from 3of them. The one exam i have no calls from is the exam i spent hours slogging for
As they say, life indeed is funny.


no creative juicies flowing.
Headache hoying.
ab hum challing!

Friday, December 29, 2006

Budday!!!

My Mum is by far one of the most amazing women I know.She is also the kindest and the gentlest person on this planet.

There are two tiny girls who work at our place.Their Mum used to work with us but now that she keeps ill, Ma gets the house work done by her two daughters .

Ma spends the time in kitchen teaching them numbers and alphabets and even english poems as they mop the floor or whatever.

So one fine day, Shilpi, the elder of the two asked Mum what 'happy birthday' was.As Mum tried to explain to her the concept of birthdays, Shilpi said that she has never had a brithday party of her own.

So, today Mum organised Shilpi and Shalu's combined birthday party!!
7 of their bestest friends were invited for the party.
I was intially very skeptical of what was supposedly happening and quite unwilling to be part of it all..
Anywyaz..as is always the case, I hate it when Mum has to do stuff on her own, so I reluctantly gave in and helped Mum select the gift and decide on the 'menu' of the paty ;).

So at 2:30 today , all 7 of Shilpiz friends and cousins trooped in.The intial unease that all of them felt on entering an unfamiliar house was quite obvious. No one would speak much and most of them continued to stare at the floor.

But gradually as the food came out, they came out of their shells.There were biscuits ,toffees ,cakes , wafers , namkeen and what not.

Post the food, the smiling faces:) Shilpi in the yellow frock Mum gifted her, and Shalu in the pink one.





And then the aunties of the aas pass ka houses started peeping in as we all of us started clapping and cheering at random.
Infact 4 of my neighbours also came in, to join in the festivities.

And here are the two birthday girls taking the gift package [;)] which consists of brand new sweaters , scarves and hairbands for both of them.You can see the card as well, on top of the gift !



It was fun, and yess ..

My Mum Rocks!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Bad Memories

Earlier when I used to chance upon blogs which vaguely spoke of the sensex, I would lovingly press the tiny 'X' on the top right of the screen.But now, when I see the words sensex/FDI/Retail etc etc I give a whoop of joy, my face lights up and my joy knows no bounds.

As they say, life is funny.

The TIME guys apparently want me to give mock inetrviews with collar microphones , so that the entire interview can be recorded and I will get a decent idea about voice modulation and all the related blah.Jeez mann, If that was not enogh ,the second mock interview will be recorded on camera!!

:O:O

I think I will be more comfortable just going for the silly interview for IIFT and messing it up rather than doing all these funny things and then messing it up!

Talking about the camera it strikes me that I have never blogged about a phase , a very important one, of my life.

The time when I was a regular face on the regional Doordarshan channel.


Err...okay , I was not exactly regular..umm...well..okay, I just did a two minute thing on Doordarshan but the important thing is that I was on tv!!!
It all started with my Mum who was actually a regular face on Doordarshan at that time.So one fine day, one of her directors suddenly decided that he wanted to start an extremely silly distance education program during the summer vacations.

Haah! Which child in a remote corner of the state ,after watching 'Turrrum Turrrum' the parrot(?) for half an hour would get mighty enthu about the addition of fractions and sit and watch any educational program for 2 hours.

Anyways, as they also say, this world is based on hopes.Even mighty stupid and silly ones.

So, the director[ who was ,a couple of years later ,sent to prison for taking bribes offered, btw!] had fancy ideas.
And to put his deadly plan in action he needed to advertise the educational program .And for that he needed 2 teenagers, preferably a boy and a girl.
And he shared this with my Mum.

Ahem

Now any woman who has two teenaged children, one boy and one girl ,will get certain ideas into her head on hearing this.
And this is exactly what happened with my Mum. We must not blame her per se for this , mebbe it was the 'maa ka pyaar' which made her do this.

So a few days later, in a small dark room, balancing precariously on our respective stool sat my brother and I.
I was told to look into the camera in front of me and to not shake my head so much and say the following lines:



Kya aapko apani padhai yaad aa rahi hai? kya aap saath ke bachcho se aagey nikala chahate hai ?*smug , superior luk*
Agar haan , to aaiyye hamare saath , apane vichar hame bataiyye, bataiyye aap kya dekhna chahate hai yahan parr.
Agar aap likhatein hai , to apni kahaniyaan hame bhejiye.
Agar aap chitra banate hai toh apane rang birange chitra hame bhejiye.
aapka aur hamara lamba aur sundar saath rahega.

To hame patra likhye.
Hamra pata hai
blah blaha blah blah
shunya shunya chaar shunya shunya cheh.



Yess I have actually done that 'shunya shunya shunya char' crap X(

However the worst part was the fact that all throughout the one hour I was fumbling to get those stupid lines correct while making the stupidest of mistakes, my Dad was in the other room watching every bit of it!

Jeez yaar.

Okay the even worse part was yet to come. The next day I went to collect my cheque *coy, smug luk*.
The guy who was riting the cheque asked me my name.When I told him that he took up and a pen and started riting on the blank cheque.
He began with 'K'.

Ekta Kapoor had not happened by then and I had little knowledge of how important a part of the daily soap diet of the ammaz of the entire nation this letter would soon become .Hence I had little respect for this noble letter 'k' being used when my name officially began with an 'R'.

"Arrrrreeeeee!!!!! Abhi bataya toh!!!My name is Ruchi M."
*followed by a maxxx superior look*

The guy gave me disgusted look and continued writting.

I conituned to look at the cheque as he wrote the following words :

Kumari Ruchi M.

Jeez.
Double Jeez

Enough of bad memories for a day.
Buybuy

Monday, December 25, 2006

Some people *sigh*

For the second time in the time that I have blogged, someone other than poor moi wrote on my blog instead of me.

To emulate my style of riting, the post had 2 imporatant parts.
1. It was anti-men[heheh]
2. It was overtly sensitive.

Imagine the shock I got when on openeing my blog today, I see not only a brand new post but also a very acerbic and gussa type of a comment from whoami as well...
heehe

At first I even replied to his comment but then it was absurd defending something I had not written that I started laughing out loud.
Hence the decision to remove the post.

I am a bit surprised .Bachcha khachcha are not things I have ever spoken about here, neither do I write about stuff like PMS ,yet nobody really noticed the difference.
But then the post wasnot up for a long time so I guess...

A couple of months back, my friend, a fellow blogger and I decided to write something on each others blog and see if poeple could get the difference. I had planned blogging about the whole episode as well.

Well ,as per the plan ,my friend wrote on my blog. If you guys remember it, it was a story about a witch, again he too tried to emulated my style of writing.

Many of you read it and said what a nice story it was. :P
I distictly remember A Myth being the only person who noticed some kind of a difference.

:)

I was supposed to write a huge post on it but somehow it never happened.So when today I came face to face with another person having put up a very funny type of a post here, I had to remove it and blog about it immediately.

And yess,my style of writting is anti men, it certainly is emotional but it is also non controversial.

So chill , all those men /boys who read it.Relax your ruffled feathers.
shanti , Om Shanti.

And no, I am not giving my Id and password to ANY one now.
hehe..silly things happen.

BUhbie.and see you later.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

23rd of December , 2006.

I divide today into two halves.
The first one was so relaxed...got up late, helped Ma at home, read a lot and after a long time was feeling soo relaxed..

The second started with a call from an uncle congratulating me.
My first 'call'....
IIFT calls me :), am one of the 1117 people IIFT has called for GD/PI...

Totally unexpected..but its ossummm..I never believed I will get a single call but atleast that is not going to happen now!!
----------------------------------------------------------

Today morning was so light..it was sucha refreshing change that I cannot even begin to describe it...
Things have so hectic for such a long time now.Infact I think I had more time on my hands before CAT ...cuz then I had started pretending that I am not doing Btech.Had simply stopped studying opr bothering with it.

It was only once CAT was over, and I had dutifully messed it up that I woke up...exams were just round the corner and nothing had been done.Hell, I was not even sure of the names of some of my courses.

So, I had effectively one and half weeks to prepare for the end sems[generally I keep the last week for the 2nd or the 3rd revision, ahem].

Add to that the fact that I had to make unlimited submissions , complete innumerable assginments, give presentaions, get files made, give vivae, write some pending mid sems, get project topics finalised..and all that blah...all that and 2 MBA entrance exams to be appear for just 2 days before the end sems began..

Two days before the exams began, I spent an entire day rushing from one centre to the other giving MBA entrances and wondering if any of it was worth it.

There were times I just broke down and cried coz of the sheer pressure I was under.The amount of work that was alwayz there to be done scared and frightened me no end.

Another thing was that all through the 7 semesters I have here, I have been on the receiving end of only appreciation from proffz, but here was one semester when none of this happened.
Infact, one proff even asked me how many marks I feel he should give me considering the fact that I had hardly attended any of his classes.
In another case after I gave a presentation, the proff asked my name...it was nt there in the register.
Coz I had not even attended a single class...[very few classes actually took place but people in general had atleast 3 presents]
Jeez maan, they atleast had their names on the list.

So began my exams...It seemed as if an unending ocean of exams stretched before me...courses were hardly prepared and was badly scared.

There were moments when I just wanteda day's break..to just relax and unwind , to have no worry..but well...honey, when your books have not been touched and you have an exam the next day, a long relaxing break may not be sucha gud idea..

So, I worked and worked and worked...and finally yesterday my exams came to an end.
Today was therefore the most relaxed I have felt in ages....
Snug and warm amongst ancient and friendly razaaiz i relished this morning as no other...

However by mid day , the IIFT results were put up. It is ossum to have someone call you up with a 'congratullllllaaaaaaationnnnnnnnnssss'
and you are like,"thankyou but...errrr..for what??"

heheh
Anywayz..I have messed up most of my exams as results will tell ..I will keep you guys posted..will share the good and the bad news coz you guys have been there with me all throughout.

Am going back to my book now:)
Gunite.
Ruchi.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Miracles do happen

Yess they do.

Some of my regular readers might recollect a very emotional post I had written about my brother...things had gone horribly wrong for him, and they were most unfair...
They did not make sense..not at all..
Okay maybe the stuff was not as big, but then I guess it was...

Anywayz, the post had too much of myself and my brother and I later removed it.
The point here is that there was little or mebbe no hope of things correcting themselves..
It had never happened before.

I cannot give the details here , as it is his life and his problem...but I will say that the past 2 months had been rotten for my brother.
I swayed between guilt trips and rotten lows thinking about him..

Guilt trips coz suddenly, apparently I had much more than him and lemme tell you I hated every bit of it.

Yesterday, a quiet evening at home was transformed into one of the tremendest of excitements.
One simple call from Banglore.
and everything thing changed.

It is a miracle.It has never happened before..there is no precedent for this.
My brother got star treatment yesterady night.
The celebrations at his med school began at 5:30 and finished at 2.
He got soo many messages that he had to simply delete loads w/o reading them coz others had to be accepted in the inbox.

I have been smiling since 5 yesterday..I have not been able to believe that this has happened.

I am grinning from ear to ear..am the happiest i have ever been simply coz my brother is happy:)

This is nothing short of a miracle.
I witnessed a miracle:)

Will put up a readable post tomm night if my link is working!
Gunite.
Ruchi.

P.S. Missed you , blog!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Just a few more days..
I will be back:)

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Crajee raam pyari, The STUDENT..

I am going crazy. There is too much of work but lets not talk about that...
So, coming to other important matters:-

1.Made faces at a chutku sa boy in the bus today.
1.5 The boy was too dignified errr...shy to return the gesture.Ahem.

2.Gave a viva for a project yesterday.I did not even know the topic of our supposedly totally ready project.

3.Said a very dignified very pleased and very superior 'very good' to the Bioinformatics proff when he told me that he had compiled some important stuff for us.
3.1 Almost added' my boy'.
3.2 Almost patted his round shoulders.

4.Gave a presentation today. My group was the last group which meant that I would have to wait till around 5 to stand up and speak rubbish.

4.5 Took deep breaths and told the Proff that I was feeling claustophobic.
4.6 Proff got ultra concerned and asked me why I was not wearing a sweater.
4.7 Then asked me to give my presentation immediately so that I could go home and rest.
4.8 *innocent i-am-an-angel look*

5. A term paper had to be submitted. I wanted to write atleast 8 pages.Was unable to find enough material. So have actually written 'blah blah blah blah blah' in a few places.

6.Again asked the waiter how big the 8 inch pizza was.
6.1 The same waiter.

7.Thanks to a fellow blogger , I have a ready made project in hand, it is based on sudoku.Had to get the topic finalized.Was not sure if the proff would find it difficult enough for a btp.

7.5 Hence felt very relieved when the proff looked at me , a bit perplexed and said," What exactly is a su-ko-du.

7.6 Totally luuurrrvvveee ignorant proffzz.!

8. Felt alarmed when a angry guest faculty screamed at me on the fone.
8.2 Her exact and may I add, extremely threatening words were," Mera bass chale toh poore IT final year koh chaaku bhonk dungi".
8.3 Heard yesterday that she is supposed to have attempted suicide twice.
8.4 Kinda knew that before hand.

9. Went to the H.O.D a few weeks back to talk about a tech event.
9.1 RP: Sir, event ka naam hoga 'xxxx, the CONFLUENCE.'
9.2 TBDHOD[The brain Dead H.OD.] (making an ugly face) : tch tch...no no , kutch aur sochiye,Yeh naam toh boht kharab hai(another ugly face).

I pretend to think as I stare with disbelief at the 2-3 hairs on the tip of his nose

9.3 TBDHOD: sochiye sochiye
I pretend to think harder as I notice that the hairs stand almost erect on his nose and are totally white

9.4 TBDHOD: uhh..chodiye , mein hi batata hu, What about 'XXX, the FEST'?!!!
9.5RP(raam pyaari) :Wow!! Sirr, that is so nice and totally different from what I had thought of...thats very nice sirr.

TBDHOD beams and the hairs on the tip of nose wiggle a little bit and I shudder a little bit.
------
Day before yesterday.
TBDHOD: haan, so we have finalized everything, right?

RP( major I-am-your-secretary look) : yess sir, everything is done. May I go now?

TBDHOD: hmm...yess you may, one sec, what was the name again?

RP(major I-am-your-very-efficient-secretary look):'XXX, the FEST'

TBDHOD: FEST????? tchh tchhh..what utter crap!!! Kuct aur sochiye bhai log, ek naaam tak dhang ka nahi soch sakate..itane saal hogaye but still you cannot do a single thing sensibly..Fest kahan hai yeh?!!Sochiye..

RP pretends to think and is remined of the nose and the hairs.Another shudder and with that a brainwave.

RP:!!!!! SIRRRR!!!!
TBDHOD: what???
RP:XXX, the CONFLUENCE!!!!!!!
TBDHOD:HANNNNNNNN!!!!Now that is a nice name!!!vERY good!!!

TBDHOD beams.
RP beams.


gunite:)

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Another broken dream..
As the key to the VA section changes, the changes happening are such that my total score has nose dived.

so, in all probability, I say good bye to a dream I had been nurturing for over 2 years and slogging for for the past 8 months.

All those all india double digit ranks in VA in almost each AIMCAT and each SIMCAT I wrote and now my VA score.

Why does this always happen with me. When I wrote JEE ,I had decided that I will never let that happen to me again..but naah...someone up there has a major problem with me.

Do I feel like getting up and studying for the next MBA entrance Exam?
No.

Do I feel like studying for the end sems ?
No.

Do I feel like ever openeing a book again?
No.

I am angry, at myself for not having delivered at the right time.
I am kinda upset that poeple who were doing terribly all throughout are getting better scores than I am
I am sad coz once again I have to let go of naother dream.

Zindagi ki yehi reet hai...
kahi haar , kahi jeet hai...

Sunday, November 19, 2006

There is life post billi..!!!!





(Pics taken on the 18th:) )

I look at the calendar and then at the watch, and I cannot believe that I have lived to tell the tale...

Well, to begin with, facts first...there is a lot of confusion regarding my scores thanks to the varying results being put up by the various sites...I might be in the 'getting a call' bracket but one cannot be sure,obvio...

Anywyaz...even as my mind is swamped by millions of doubts, I must add that being able to even comtemplate the possibility of getting a call is wonderful for me..
Anywayz...that is another story all together..

Preparing for CAT has been a diffrent experience all together, I have never really been a part of something like this ever before..

CAT has been a person in my life...
I have loved it,hated it..

And now it is over:)
A job well done, it is now time to move on..

Thankyou people for wishing me luck...

A detailed post later, am too tired right now...

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

So, I blog.

*applause*

1. I hate the 'shusheel kanya' look that I perpetually have.

2. The ladka dikhai of a cousin happened at my place.
I got along better with the guy than my cousin did.Ahem.

2.5 Thankfully the shaadi[ladka and cousin] is fixed but the sasur jee has been speaking verrry highly of poor moi.

2.75 I think my cousin is plotting my murder.

3.I spent half an hour with myself in the garden yesterday..there were too many things happening in my head .The semi biting chill was so refreshing.It cleared my head.

3.5 It is nice to not think.

3.75 If it is too cold, I do not think.

3.90 I am planning to shift to Antarctica.


4.My shorts fascinate my maid.

4.5 No wonder she keeps trying to peep upar.

4.75 In case someone wants to buy a gift for me,Cycle shorts would be very nice.

4.90 And very useful also.

5.Nights and early mornings are getting cold now.Mum took out the wollens yesterday and each time that happens , I rediscover sooooo many clothes:)
Found an OSSUUMMM jacket my uncle got for me from Chicago.

6.I am single and so blissfully , happily single. Jeez man, single girls rock!!

7. I do not have an iota of faith in the crap called love.
And I bow before God and thank him for that.

8.Things do not always look right , do they?

9. Sometimes, I wonder if I should have become a doctor.I think I will always wonder.

9.5 But many people continue to live simply coz of that one decision I made.

10. I hate aunties who think I will make suhseel bahu for their iit 9 pointer sons.
10.25 Sometimes, I think I have something against IIT.
10.5

11. I am feeing very happy and light at this moment.
And nothing ultra good has happened.
I am happy coz I have no reason to be sad.

12. Saw Jaan-e-mann. I loved it and do not care if everyone else thinks it was ruubish. I had a good 3 hours.

13.I love movies that make me laugh.

14.Most girls strain their ears to listen to any comment that might come from luchchas and lafangas standing by.

14.5 most girls feel disgusted when the comment is not clearly audible.What a waste of a comment.
14.75 All girls hate it when no comment happens when one is expected.

15.when one gilr meets another girl for the first time, she looks her from head to toe.If she is fashion conscious she is classified as 'too loud /too m,uch into makeup wakeup ,i never put on so much makeup 'category.
If she is simply dressed, she is a 'behenji'.

16.Girls are bitches.Atleast most of them can be.

17.All men are d*gs. No exception what soever.

And with that solemn thought I end this post.

Monday, October 16, 2006

rANDOMNESS PERSONIFIED

The one reason why I did not want to announce my decision about giving blogging a break till CAT was exactly this!

The moment I typed those few words , my fingers started itching ...a new post! thats exactly what i wanted to write.

hmmfffff

The best part is that I do not have anything to write about. I just wrote a sectional english test, scored a 34.66 and since this is the 3rd time in the past week that i have accomplished this spectacular feat, I thought the moment called for a post.
And a toast.
or both.
whatever


No, I have no sob story to blog about today! Tough luck, I know!!!

There are two girls who come over to help Mum with the house work[ yess, you! dunt gimme that ,' pandhran warsh se chote bachcho se ghar athwa dhabe parr kam karwana das actoober se kanunan jurm ho gaya hai 'crap, their Mum used to work at our place and she is not keeping well so they come over, ]

So, my Mum has taught them a few english words.
And sadly phrases also.

So, on sunday when I left for the SIMCAT, one of them shouted a very cheery ,"how arreeee youuuuuuu"!!!!!!

When they leave they say the following:
bye bye
ta ta
how are you
pink
orange
I love you
I love you too.
bye bye.

See you errr...err.. after CAT, obvio!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Hi ,

So I post after a long time(as in rite a post thats going to stay)..Its about the longest break I have taken from blogging..

Things are becoming a bit messy and for the first time I do not know who to turn to..sometimes I think I should manage it alone but then I am unable to...I wish I had a magic wand which would put everything right..

Also I have gone back to riting in my diary..

Things may not be okay right now, but they will some time later, right?

I had finally begun having faith..but I seem to have lost it all..the reason thatI wish otherwise is that I feel faith makes you strong...
I dunno, if you have faith in God, plz tell me why you believe in him...
I am so confused about certain things right now..I have no answers ...the questions irritate and so does the fact that I am unable to find the answers to them..
Soemtimes these days, seeing other poeple happy has begun to irk me...but that is not inherently me and hopefully as things sort themselves out , I shall be back to being okay:)

Okay so it seems that I cannot think of anything other than my sob story which is exactly what I did not want to write.

Toh isiliye , lemme end this here...I might be taking a break from blogging for the next month or so..maybe I will write once in a while..but regular blogging will take break..:)

I shall resume it when I finish with CAT..

Be good:)

Friday, September 29, 2006

Arbit post.

Today I was told that I am 'timidly determined'.
My friend said that I am timid and harmless but I get my way. She was saying this in context of this proff at college who refused point blank to supervise our project, and according to her, I just kept smiling sweetly as I kept on asking him to please reconsider until it became difficult for him to say 'no' anymore and he finally agreed.

So, that got me thinking.

Some things are predictable now.It started when Btech had just started and we were just begining to get to know each other. The most common question any girl would ask me would be if I had a boyfriend.
When I would reply in the negative most poeple would be genuinely surprised.
They would claim that I was lying and that I did not want them to know about him
Now , when this would happen, I alwayz wanted to know if they were surprised coz I am sucha a babe that it is impossible fr me to not have a bf or that I am sucha gundi that gundiz like me do not exist on this planet for two decades without a couple of guys drooling after them.

Apart from that , I speak a lot of rubbish. I genuinely do and I have realised that it can be so much fun provided, provided that the person you are talking to is as much of a dramebaaz as you happen to be.Apart from Niv there is just one person with whom I can do all my nautanki w/o being chided for being so silly. I met him through this blog and today he happens to be amongst my bestest friends . I have never met him and he has promised me that we shall never either !!But like if we speak for 30 minutes on YM we spend half an hour of that time talking nautanki. There is no sense in what we speak , none what so ever, but yess, a couple of thousand laughs are exchanged and I log off completely refreshed!!If it were any other person I were talking about my next line would have been, 'and , so , friend, I would like to thank you for being sucha grand friend' but but but but not with him :) There is no need for that. He knows what he should know!

My mid sems got over today at one , and now it has been four hours since and I have been to the beauty parlour and have visited a frend for 5 minutes ; so I think it is time I went back to padhai for billi ji .
Samachar samapt hue.
Namaskar.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Birthdays :)

So, I speak about birthdays today.
Two to be precise.
On 14th Latika turned an year older and this is what I did.
Landed at her place at 6 in the morning !!!! Okay okay before a couple of you khumbhakarans faint , lemme addin my defence that she, in any case , leaves for medical skul at around 7:30.
So,
I called her at 6 and said," darwaaza kholo!!"
And she was like," WHATTT!!!, Tum bahar ho kya!!"

So, I spent an ossuumm one hour with her, I had bought a birthday cake for her and though I had decided I would get her to cut it in front of me but that did not happen.
Then , I fished out her birthday card and then came the presents. Now poor girl, she had been longing for sensible belts for a longggg time but could not go shopping for them coz of a buzy schedule so I gave her that as her gift[I had spent about 4 hours the day before shopping for her!!!!].We had that guess-karro-kya-ho-sakta-hai thing as well before she unwrapped her gift.
Then by the time she had finished squealing I was like' here, another gift for you!"
[yess, yess, I got her two gifts!!!]
And as predictable as it was, it was another belt!:D
So, she is now richer by two belts, one very sleak and sophisticated and the other cool and swanky!

Anyways, apparently she had been feeling low coz of something and she cheered up beeg time coz of what I did
It was OSSSUUUMMMM!!!!!

Then came Sunday, the 17th of September.[ Date corrected to 17th of september , courtsey Mr Shreyansh Singh(www.iamalluring.blogspot.com).In my defence , Niv 's budday is on the 17th of september oopss I mean 17th of november, hence the kaanfusion . And no, someone has not missed his parents anniversary .And no ,some one has not missed CAT either! CAT miss kare aapke dushmann!!:P over and out]

And this part of the post is dedicated to niv, creepu beti and shekhar all whom wanted to how the budday surprize ( http://smilethesmile.blogspot.com/2006/09/p.html )turned out!

So, BHai, as per the plan reached the city on the 16th, Dad went to pick him up and he came to the test centre to meet me on the 16th.
On the 17th Dad casually suggested that we should go out for lunch and hence apparently at the spur of the moment, we decided to head out for lunch.

Now at around 1 Mum comes to me and says" pata hai kya hua!!!"
I was like" kya??!!!!"

Mum: " Bhai ki buss kharab ho gayi hai..woh Katra,Jammu mein hai!!!"

Me [totally shocked and ready to burst into laughter coz at that very moment bhai was right in front of our house at a neighbours who had been invited to the get together, to pick her up]: hawwwww, firr abb kya hoga???!!!

Mum: Bhai keh raha hai ki jahan woh hai, wahan se usse pahad bhi dikh rahe hai!!!

me: mountains!!! ooooo!!! how nice!!

Ma: what nice vice!!! seedhe ghar aana chahiye usse, pata nahi trekking ki kya padi hai usko!!!! Baat nahi karungi main usase!!!!

Me: haan, abbb yeh to hai, Ma!

Ma: Aur pata hai kya!

Me: kya ,Ma?

Ma: Usane 10 minute baat karri but birthday bhi nahi wish kiya!

Me[mentally I went 'awwwwwww']: aarre koi nahi Ma, abhi kitane tension mein hoga, bus nahi chal rahi naa...let it be!


Anyways.. so after a couple of thousand hushed whispers between me and dad, hundreds of knowing glances exchanged, dad ,I and Mum reached the restaurant.
A part of the restaurant which had been reserved for us had been decorated , and the seating arrangement was for 10 people.
Mum was a bit perplexed.
Streamers did not make sense.
The seating arrangement for 10 people did not make sense.
By that time , Mum's best friend and her hubby walked in!

Mum was like " arre!! aap log!!!"
Aunty : arre aaap!!!hum toh yahan aisehi aa gaye!! aap kyoon hain yahan parr!

Mum looked at Dad and then looked at me!
And before she could say anything Mum's other best friend walked in !!
By that time Mum understood and she blushed and laughed and accepted the flowers and the gifts and did all that is suitable at such an occasion.

After about 10-15 minutes when all had settled, I stepped away from everyone and called up Bhai , asking him what his plans were, as in when exactly did he plan to turn up!
Bhai wanted the details of where exactly we were sitting and whether Ma's back was towards the entrance or no.

So, as I pulled Mum's leg about the surprise birthday bash with the two Aunties joining in , I could see Bhai enter the restaurant, a wrapped gift in hand .
As he made his way towards Mum , Dad , who had also seen Bhai engaged Mum in small talk.
As Bhai covered Mum's eyes from behind, rested his cheek against Mum's head I did the totally filmy
" Mummeee!!! Guess karo kaun hai??!!!"

Mum was like totally taken aback and she could not even come up with a single sensible name:P
And then after a few more minutes of this filmy stuff , BHai removed his hands and Mum turned around to have a look at her son who was supposed to be thousands of miles away at that very moment.

To pull this off was quite an effort and at times I got so bugged with the details and all that I felt like scrapping the whole thing off but that look on Ma's face when it finally dawned upon her that the guy behind her is her son was worth every every every penny!

Somehow things had ,by then ,turned a bit emotional..I cannot put it in words actually..
All I can say is that as I looked from Mum [completeley taken aback at the sight of Bhai but totally happy ] , to Mums friends to Dad there was not a single pair of eyes that did have tears in them.
There was so much love around all of us there , at that moment .

The snug , comfortable feeling of being around people you love and doing things that make them happy is priceless.

I am so glad we did this for Mum.
:)

Ruchi

Saturday, September 16, 2006

So, I blog about him today
And let me begin from the beginning.
And let me call him P.
When the results of the first semester were declared , I for the first time actually noticed P. The reason was simple. I had a measley 84.6% and a class rank of 3,P had 87% and an University rank of 7.

So, soon after the results were decalred, P got the honour of becoming the first boy in college to ask for my number.
As I gave my number to him, I heard a couple of guys behind us hooting .
I wondered for the whole of the next semester why he had taken my number, coz he never called, never messaged.
But then by the beginning of second, I started getting messages from him. Strictly related to studies.

Then we had a freshers party for the juniors . It was eventful day :) , two of the junis on being asked which senior girl they liked the most took my name and only two guys were asked this question !
Then we sat in huge circle and called the junis one by one and basically had fun at their expense.So, this juni was called and then he was asked to request a senior girl to come and stand in the centre of the circle.
So, he asked me to come . Next he was asked if he liked me or no.When he blushed and said yes he was asked to give 5 reasons why he liked me.So, the guy started of with," Ma'am stylish hain"
and the junta would be like'aaha..Ma'am stylish hain" and loads of 'ruchi is blushing guys, she likes this!" went on happening.
Poor guy he did name 5 things and if i remember correctly ,amongst the things he liked most about me were my gentle nature and gorgeous hair!
hehe..anywayz..I digressed.
When it was time for us to leave, I suddenly realised we had messed up that place real bad.It was actually quite shameful, so , since no one would listen to me, I started picking up the garbage with my hands and made a pile of it. Then a couple of guys noticed what i was doing and then the junis were forced to clean up that place.

So, I hardly paid any attention to anybody that day, I was getting too much of it anywayz! So, at about 8 when I reached home, I got a teeny message on my cell.It was from P.
I think it went like this:

"hey, I think you were looking very beautiful today, I admire how sensitive you are about the envoirnment and I really like you. I have told you how I feel about you. Do tell me if you reciprocate any of it.I shall wait for your message"

I went into a state of semi shock:D
It was so unexpected , and no I did NOT reciprocate any of those feelings, whatever they were.
So, I did not reply.Infact I just switched off my cell and put it away .A day later when I switched it on, I saw about 20 messages from him
And each was more frantic than the other.He kept apologizing again and again!I was again quite taken aback and then immediately wrote backa reply and this is how it went.
"Lets forget this happened, okay?"

So we officially forgot about this. But we did not speak to each other for the remaining part of the entire year!
Not a single word.
Both of us pretended that the other did not exist in class.

We were hardly friends so I guess neither fo us missed anything..but then towards the end of 2nd year, a couple of guys started planning this major tech event. It was supposed to be major and had to be kept secret till all was ready coz of some kind of problems.
Now, P is the tech-est guy in our enitre year[for his placement interview the guy gave him 2 choices , asked him to write any one of the two porgrams, P gave him 8 choices, asked him which language he would like him to use!] and obvio he was very involved in the event, infact it was his baby.Two girls from the entire year knew about this and I was one of them...Then started many rounds of meetings etc..making the presentation to be shown to the faculty, deciding on the banners, the finances etc required me to spend a lot of time in college and in P's vicinity.That kind of broke the ice and we were soon on speaking terms though we used to speak about very work related matters .
Then I started getting messages from him...albeit of a different kind.

They would be one line messages-"Class cancelled"
"Bring 3 black and white pics for the registration "
and so on .
And that was all of the communication we used to ahve.
I would never message him a 'thankyou' and we hardly even looked at each other in class leave alone sit and jab.

And gradually I found myself relying more and more on his messages . And more often than not, P's messages were the only way I would find out about stuff.
He , in his own quiet way helped me more than any one in college has . On innumerable occassions P has saved me from trouble .Innumerable times.
And never has he even expected even a 'thank you'.Hell I completely ignored his messages so many many times.
For gossake ,I did not even realise it till my mother pointed it out to me.

During the placement season, He would message me about the forms to be filled , registrations to be done and all that blah.
I have never, till date, sent him one bit of information .

I dont know why but he completely ignores me in class. [ and they say girls are complicatd] and yet anything happens which might be important and he is the one who sends me that to-the-point message.

For the past three semesters he has been the person who has informed me of my result..
Each time the message has been same:
"Results declared, You have topped, congratulations."

So much so that this time,I did not wait for some call from someone who would tell me that the reults have been declared. I waited for his message.And it sure did come.
The same message, the same to the point, no frills attached style of messaging, and the same result!

Of late we sometimes speak on YM, he knows very little about me..and he doesnt ask much either.we speak either about some important stuff about college, or about CAT. He just writes free mocks for the heck of it,and gets 99.xx%ile in QA and Di and messes up english real bad.So we talk about all that. He knows I freak out when I write bad mocks and he tells me to not get so worked up.
That is all we talk about.

Today I got a slightly different and a reasonably agitated offline from him:
" I ask you to do just one thing- not get tense but why why why why do you not listen to me!"
Apparently I had looked very tense in college today.

So, why am I here blogging about him ? I am surprised myself. Everyone says that after any kind of panga it is impossible to become friends. I hope real bad that he is just looking at us as friends coz there isnt anything else I have in my mind .
In retrospect, he has been the nicest person to me amongst all I have met here. He has helped me innumerable times. And I am truly grateful to him.

You have no idea, how many times I have wondered what would have happened had I not received that message/ offline from you at the right time.You have never expected anything in return for your help.Not even a thank you . You have just helped me out whenever you could .
And heyy, isnt that what a true friend is supposed to do?
Thank you, Friend.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The P.L.A.N.

*maxx sinster, gunda type luk*

The unsuspecting victim : Mum.

The gundaz working in collusion: Dad, Bhai and I.

The plot:
So, Mum turns a year older on the 17th of this month . She thinks that it is going to be another of those birthdays when we do nothing and nothing happens.
But.
She is wrong!
The Gunda committee here has a plan up its not so respectable sleeve . If all goes according to plan , this is what is going to happen on that day:
On the 17th of september ,at around 2:00 pm, Dad is going to call us at home and suggest this brilliant idea of eating out.I shall act all enthusiastic about it and goad Ma to dress up well(God knows she does not need any kind of goading for that !).
By 2:30 Mum , Dad and I shall reach the restaurant.
Waiting for us would be two of Mum's bestest friends!!! Mum should be pleased (if she is not she should atleast pretend that she is!) and after the initial excitement has quietend a bit ,we shall settle down for a quiet lunch.
I shall have to make sure that Mum's back is towards the entrance.
Just before, we start lunch, I shall say something like," Okay, Ma , there is one tiny surprize waiting for you, lemme make the essential call"

The call that I shall make would be to Bhai who would be somewhere in the vicinity of the restaurant at that time.
The essential thing here is that Ma has no clue that Bhai would be in city. For all practical purposes, for her, Bhai should be trekking his way to the sacred caves in Vaishno devi with his friends.
So, I make that call and say something like'Yess, please" and that call would be the cue for bhai to head for our table from where evr he is.
and sometime later, as soon as Bhai has reached close enough to our table, Dad will ask mum to turn around!
annnnnnndddddddd Voilaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Bhai shall be right there, not hundreds of kilometres away!!!!!
Along with two of his bestest buddies ,with flowers and gifts and loads of shorr sharaba!!


That is our plan.
Ma thinks Bhai will return on the 27th of september. And right now Ma is not speaking to bhai coz instead of coming home he is going to spend more time with his friends .So, she is not talking to him.

Bhai must have had a gala time today when Ma asked him the exact details of his trip, which train is he goingt o take? when will he reach where?! And so on..

Bhai and I speak in hushd tones these days as we chalk out the details of the plan.Bhai shall reach here on the 16th itself.He will stay at his friends place for the night, though bhai and I plan to meet up on 16th itself, mum shall get to meet him only on sundayy!!

I hope we can pull it off!
I hope we can do something nice for someone who does everything for us.

Will keep you guys updated on the PLAN.