Saturday, April 16, 2016

Thank you British Airways

We flew yesterday with British Airways from Delhi (India) to London Heathrow, flight BA 256.

As I boarded the plane i had no idea how dramatically the flight would end and I am writing this little post simply to thank British Airways and the officials at Heathrow from the bottom my heart.

So what happened was this: my husband and i were travelling with our 8 month old son. The flight was 9 hours long and S, my son, had been a tad unwell a day before but because things seemed to be settling down well, we decided to go ahead with the flight.

9 hours.
9 hours during which i would stare at the flight tracker to count down the remaining flight time, every minute feeling like a burden taken off.
9 hours during which i would feel like breaking down atleast 10 times.
9 hours during which i would not put a morsel of food inside my mouth except for bits my husband would force me to eat.
9 hours that would make me shudder later.
9 hours i would wish on no mother.

The reason was that my son's illness took a turn for the worse resulting in scarily severe diarrhoea.

I cradled my son, took him for walks inside the plane, spoke to him, sang to him ( bless Rob from the seat next to me who insisted that he did not mind my singing, infact he went as far as to say that 'loved it' :) , and he got me some fruit to eat just like that ) , rocked him, fed him, hugged him, kissed him...but he was steadily getting worse.

Unless you are a mother you will not know how that can break your heart.

And if you are, i do not need to say another word.

So there i was, having not eaten a morsel of food, tired, exhausted, scared, worried. And i wonder now how i would have managed had the BA crew not been as wonderful and kind as they were.

There was Merrisa, bless her, the only other person S would be comfortable around. Infact at one point he grabbed on to her and stroked it for a few seconds- made us all laugh. She sang 'twinkle twinkle' for him a few times and even in that state I could see that he loved it. it was her singing that brought him closest to a smile.

There was Anurag who kept us going with his kind words and ready help.

As things with S deteriorated, the crew did was something i will remain most grateful for.
Seeing that S needed immediate medical attention, they got clearance for priority landing, which meant that the plane would not need to circle over heathrow which in turn meant we could get on ground 10-15 minutes earlier than we would have otherwise.
They also had a team of paramedics ready to have a look S as soon as we landed.
They even got the immigration team to come into the plane to do our immigration.

The paramedics were brilliant and soon told us that an ambulance was waiting to whisk us to the hospital.
The gentleman who drove the ambulance came into the plane to help us into the ambulance and when he looked at my worried face he said, 'relax now, we are here, the worst is over' and i could have cried with relief.

As Merrisa sang twinkle twinkle to S, the paramedics hurried around, the captain came to ask us if every thing was okay now, i felt relief wash over me. I knew we were in good hands, i knew, like the gentleman had just said to me, that the worst was over.

So, thank you, BA, Heathrow Airport and the NHS. A most heartfelt thank you.

I always loved BA flights, but after the experience, i am a BA loyalist for life.

Everytime i will think of my ordeal mid air, i will also think of the kindness of BA crew.

So one again, thank you.

Thursday, April 07, 2016


Pregnancy is fuck-all-shit.
No apologies for the swear words.

The images the media feeds to you of this glowing, beautiful woman, wearing a cornflower blue tent looking at a green field and smiling to herself is plain stupid.

Pregnancy is all about throwing up, or feeeling like throwing up the whole bloody day ( who coined the term 'morning' sickness, must be a man). None of the dried ginger or dry biscuit before getting up nonsense worked for me. Finally a friend got me dried, salted gooseberries and i swear i got through about 100 packets of that during the nine months- the only thing that vaguely kept me sane. On the down side, I can not smell, or taste gooseberries not without thinking of my pregnancy. Oh, and you know what, morning sickness is not just limited to the first trimester, it typically goes on till month 4 or 5 and resurfaces in the last tri.

Smell- oh that reminds me. You cannot bear to smell anything- i remember i used to wrap a towel around my nose and face to open the refrigerator and once i woudl open the door i would run as far as i could and study the fridge from a distance to decide what i wanted, then would stop breathing and run towards the fridge to grab what i wanted ad close the stupid door as soon as possible. Add a huge belly and the running around sounds like  a lot of fun, does it not?

And you are changing shape, from glam you are labelled cute (how i hate hate hate that word now) and you know you look like a whale. infact i had started signing off emails with a little whale at the bottom. And this is when my doctor cousin told me i was pumpkin on a stick shape- no extra fat except the belly, i shudder to think how i would have dealt with things had i put on a lot more.

Oh and you need to pee, all the time (insert swear word, oz really, this post deserves a lot of swear words). You will ear mark the toilets when you plan a trip to the super market.

And then towards the end, the whole process of turning sides will be a mammoth exercise ( you are of course, not sleeping much anyway). I cannot even begin to describe how terribly difficlut it becomes to do this simple thing. i used to brace myself and then turn slowly and most painfully, groaning out of sheer discomfort.

Emotionally your hormones are all over the place and that is fuck-all in absolutely glorious ways.

And when you think about how this will all end, panic sets it, because, my darling, you will give birth. So the options you have are 1) normal birth, 2) c sec, 3) 100 hours of labour and then emergency c sec. So basicaly 1)horrible 2)horrible and guess what 3)horrible.

And this is an absolutely normal pregnancy.

And this is when i am REALLY TRULY leaving out the truly gross because this is not the place to talk about it all.
So why am i saying all this here.

The reason is that i am tired of hearing people (men) say that almost every woman goes through pregnancy, it cannot really be that tough. True, for some women it is a breeze but for most women who will be honest with you, it is a very tough time of their lives ( please be kind to them, and if possible ask after them).
Because you know what: Women don't do this pregnancy shit because it is easy, they do it and do it happily,  in spite of how bloody difficult it is.

Respect it!

Friday, April 01, 2016

8 months of being a mum

  • Feeding solids is a whole new ball game all together
  • By the time we are done with a bowl of daal, the baby, yours truly, the bed and if we are lucky the walls- are all covered in daal
  • Today for example, when we finished with a banana, there was copious amounts of it in the baby's hair. Do not ask me how.
  • It takes a LOT of time to get banana out of a baby's hair
  • You will find weird things in the baby's hair.
  • And in his diaper. #ouch
  • I have now not slept a full night for 8 months
  • Babies squirm more than they sleep
  • You are more awake than asleep any given night. 
  • You will learn the art of selective hearing #sayNoToTikoni
  • Nails grow really fast. Like really fast.
  • Babies love to scratch faces.
  • Babies love to pull on ear rings
  • Do not wear hoops if you have a baby
  • Do not wear studs if you have a baby
  • Babies have this heart meltingly cute toothless smile
  • As your baby grows your back will begin to hurt more and more
  • nothing beats a hug from your own child
  • You will learn to sing even if you never used to sing pre-baby
  • Was there a 'pre-baby' time? what exactly did you do with your time then? And DO I RECALL YOU SAYING THAT YOU WERE $%^$%^$$#$%# BUSY THEN? BUSY? THEN! YOU IDIOT!
  • You will realise that pre-baby you were just a grown up baby
  • i have in the last 8 months watched 2 episodes of something on the telly and one cricket match
  • Gloat alert- i have in the last 8 months released a book and written half of my next 
  • Giving birth and taking care of a baby gives you a certain kind of confidence you never had before
  • you want the world to be a better place
  • You want the world to be a happier place
  • you have little time for negative people
  • You have little time for anyone else apart from your baby
  • Babies blabber 
  • If the baby has just blabbbered 'hanuman' he is not a hanuman bhakt. no he does not know 'Hanuman jee'. No God is not telling you anything. No, he does NOT KNOW HANUMAN JEE
  • In indian malls random girls will squeal when they look at a baby. Always.
  • And pinch the baby's cheeks
  • And take selfies.
  • And get a tad upset if the image is blurry because baby was not still
  • Baby will move around in the mall patting random strangers on their hands.
  • Babies are great conversation starters
  • Mums bond instantly because they are  mums
  • Sisterhood of motherhood. #fact
  • People will ask you how your HOLIDAY is coming along.
  • @#$@#$@#%#$$^%&%^&^HU^&H*&%$#@#$%@$^#$%
  • Hit them.
  • Or better - give them the baby for one day and one night.
  • Taking take of someone else's baby is the best contraception. #haha
  • You will realise how wrong it is for random aunties to ask why that girl who has been married for 3 years has not yet reproduced. Not your %^$^$%^$ business.
  • You realise you begin to swear a lot 
  • Silently.
  • Your parents will love your baby more than they love you. Fact. Deal with it.
  • Seeing your parents with your baby will melt your heart. Like all the time. #PerpetualHeartMelt
  • you finally begin to appreciate what your folks did for you
  • You really really hope you were an easy baby
  • No one deserves a stroppy child or a fractious baby. 
  • No one.
  • If you have a boy you realise that you will be someone's saasu ma one day. #scary
  • Your baby, no matter how small will become your best friend.
  • You will make a song about baby;s potty. Okay you may not, i did. but then i am a bit bonkers that way
  • Often the lullabies you are singing will make you doze off but baby will remain wide awake
  • The first time baby rolls over and pats you on your shoulder to wake you up will make you tear up. #MeraBetaSayanaHoGayaHai
  • The things that make a baby laugh.
  • Nothing beats cuddling up next to your baby for a snooze. 
  • The snooze will last about 2 mili seconds.
  • You will talk a lot to your baby
  • Just when you know it that they are understanding everything he will begin to giggle at something tragic.
  • You will stand at the airport, baby in sling, singing to baby and swinging from right to left.
  • The utter feeling of unbriddled joy when someone asks you ki ye baby kiska hai.#muhahahaha
  • Babies are hilarious
  • Sometimes you cannot stand them and cannot bear to be away from them. At the same time. #insane
  • A lot of things about motherhood are insane. #Fact
  • Pregnancy weight falls off. It does.
  • The joy when pre pregnancy clothes begin to fit again.
  • you wonder how it would feel like to sleep through the night. #fantasy.
  • You wish you were a man and could have a baby without having to go through nine months of hell.  
  • Good thing you are not a man, else you would have had about 10 more ;)
More soon ;)
Not babies. Posts. Silly.