5 things i was grateful for today

1. Rakhi- even though I could not be with my brother today, thanks to Skype, I was atleast able to see other sisters tie the rakhee to him (including mine)
2. The monsoon-ish rains in the morning today- reminded me so much of India. I conveniently found reason to go out (to buy the not so needed tomatoes) and came back pretty much drenched ;)
3. A nap in the afternoon- exhausted from the cooking spree today, I was able to nap (although just for a few minutes) today in the afternoon. It was quite relaxing, I must say
4. Doing nothing all evening- sofa-bed-bed-sofa. The simple pleasures of life, so very welcome after a very busy few weeks- seemed liked the first time I had done this in a LONG time.
5. A long conversation with Ma. The voice of sanity in my life.
6. A nice book- have been looking for a good book for some time ( I read Bite when I was in Malta and quite liked it!) and was delighted when I finally decided what my next book is going to be.
7. Episode 6 of 'The Honourable Woman'- during to sofa-bed-bed-sofa thing that I was doing, I finally caught up with the episodes of this absolutely fantastic thriller. Must see for anyone interested in Israel Palestine politics

I wanted to write 5 things I was grateful for, I paused at 2, told myself that there are no more and then finally stopped at 7. Goes to show that often we don't even realise what we have.

Have a nice week.

Love
R

Malta

So the last few months have been crazy busy.
We finalised our first house and shifted.
And I was working on both my second and third books.

Which is why we have not been on a holiday in a long time, which is a very rare thing for us. So, inevitably, there soon came a point when both Sid and I felt that we had to, just had to take a break.

And with that noble thought in mind, we booked our tickets to Malta.

Some highlights of Malta:

It was the first time I actually swam in the sea. Okay, in my defense I did not venture towards the deeper mysteries of the sea and stayed as close to the shore as possible, but I swam in the sea! *somersaults*

Here is a picture of where I swam. Crystal clear waters, striking blue of the sea, the bright son and cliffs jutting out here and there. (And no, that is not me in the bright yellow bikini)

I sat on a ship as it cruised the waters, legs dangling out of the ship into the sea, squealing with delight each time a wave crashed against the ship and spurted saly sea water all over me! And here is a picture I took of other travellers sitting where we sat on the return journey:

And that's me lost in the sights of the sea (in the background you can see the city of Valetta):

I trekked pointy cliffs to the stunning azure window. I could have spent hours there, just staring, but time, you constantly moving element that refuses to stand still even for a minute forced me to move on much quicker than I would have like to

I also explored little nooks and cranies around the island:

We walked till we tired. And then came back and hit the gorgeous swimming pool in our hotel.  We spent so much time in the hot sun that we came back all tanned.

It was a wonderful break and one of the rare places I did not want to come back from.....

*Sigh*

If you are thinking of going to Malta, don't think. Just go.

Love
R

What's in a name?

If it is a book, a LOT!

I really like the title of my second book.


It's a little bit filmy,
And quite cheeky,

Three brave soldiers tumble around,
Trying to make sense of the word and the sound

Its a lot of fun,
Let's see if you can guess it, hun.

:) :)

Let me know if you guess it. Should not take you more than a few seconds!

Have fun,
R

 

Book 2

:)

And it is that time again.

Has to be my Christmas, only it seems to happen not once each year, but once in 3 years!

The manuscript of Book 2 has been read and re read and re re re read for misplaced commas, spellings and grammar.  Even the tiniest of elements of the plot have been dissected. The acknowledgments and dedications done. The cover finalised. The author bio written. The author pic decided.

Phew!

Needless to add, a LOT of work has gone into the book and I will share details of it all in the next few weeks. Add that to a full time job that has me travelling across the Nordics at the drop of a hat, buying a house  and shifting in, and generally just keeping my self alive , fed and watered and you have one completely mad woman.

When I was flying in from Malta this Tuesday, for the first time in what seemed like forever, I did NOT have a manuscript to either write or edit. Instead I read. Just relaxed and read to my heart's content as clouds flew by beneath me. Seemed so alien, really :)
[ I also tried to forget all about the last two nights in Malta when I was up till 2 and 3 respectively eyes boring into manuscript proofs, but that is another story for another day]

For the time being, even if just for a little bit, I am just kicking off my shoes and resting my head on the wall. A moment to breathe deep.

Before all the madness begins. Again.
:)

Love
R

So long, so long…

Tonight is our last night in the apartment I have called home for the last 4 years. Not a big thing, you would say.

Only for me, it is.

While Sid’s Dad was in the Air force and hence the entire family shifted based every couple of years, my father is a doctor and once we moved into our house 20 years back, we stayed put. A change in house is a bigger deal for me than it is for the rest., particularly Sid who has done this every 2 years for the first 20 years of his life.

You see, this is only the 3^rd house I have ever lived in.

I came her fresh off the boat ;). A 25 year old newly married girl (really, did I marry that young??), unsure and possibly a little intimidated by everything around. Everything was new. Sometimes I now wondered how I did it all! I had left my job, family and friends- heck- my entire life behind me to start a new.

Exciting? Yes.

A tad scary? YES!

The house saw me get to know Sid. It saw us fight, it saw us make up. It saw me not comprehending why anyone would want to put mirchi powder in food, it saw me begin to put atleast some every once in while…

It saw me change. It saw Sid change. It saw us both adapt to each other’s ways in ways neither had expected.

It saw me wonder if I could possibly even consider considering a book. It saw me sign the contract of the second one.

It saw me confused because of health issues. It saw me finally able to go to the doctors on my own.

It saw me take some tough decisions…it saw me grow.

It was the home I came back to from work.

We are moving to our own place. Our first house together. More on that later because tonight it is all about the house that has been my home for the last 4 years.

So long, Flat 31, you shall be missed….

Flat 1, here we come J

Men, Indian and errr...not so Indian :)

So there are workers in our new house. We have a 2 week overlap between leaving this place and moving to the new place and in that we intend to get all the work done (read transform it from the 1840s , no kidding, flat that it is into a trendy, modern house). Any way, last week, I was there and the workers were..err...working. Two of them. Both South Asian.
After the usual pleasantries, they began to open up to me. One of the called me 'didi' and the other called me 'Baji'. Something oddly heartwarming, by the way, about being called didi/baji by people in a foreign land.
As it turned out, one of them was from India and the other was from Pakistan. And they are best friends.
'You know, baji' said the man painting the ceiling of my living room ' when I heard bhai jaan speak I was sure he is from Karachi'
In all fairness, Sid has begun to use 'aap' and 'hum' quite a lot since he married me.
I laughed.
'Did you?'
'I am from Rawalpindi...and I had no doubt bhai jaan is from Karachi. I told Patel bhai also' he said pointing to the other worker 'that this couple is from Pakistan'
I smiled.
'Then' chipped in Patel Bhai 'when we were painting the cupboard, I saw Lakshmi ganpati and I knew you are from India'

We are so similar that even we are not sure which side of the border the other one comes from.
And as Ma remarked, sometimes religion, which intends to unite, ends up dividing.

""""""""""

I was in the IKEA store, tired after a very long day at work, waiting for Sid to join me. I decided to head to their cafeteria and have something to eat.
After looking at the food , I decided the safest option was chips. You can never really go wrong with that.
'Can I have some chips, please' I said without looking up.
'You sure can' came a bright voice. I was too tired to look.
'Thanks' I said when the chips appeared.
'Not a problem. Have a nice evening, Madam'
'You too' I said politely and was about to head off.
'You first' he said.
I looked up startled. A handsome young man stood infront of me smiling a warm smile.
Exhausted, tired and cranky yet I laughed.
'See' he said pointing a finger at me ' I made you smile'

Even now, a few days later, I still smile each time I think of the little incident.

"""""""""

I was in the lift. My Nokia Lumia in one hand and iphone in the other. The lift stopped and an elderly man enetered it. I cast one look at him and went back to my phones.
Just as I was about to leave the lift, he spoke up./
'If you hand another hand, you would have another phone, would not you?'
I paused and reflected.
'Most probably, yes' I said grinning.
He shook his head and gave me a 'you-younger-lot' look.

"""""""""

I do not want to generalise, but Indian men...*sigh* are...*sigh*
So these two young men,  late twenties I would imagine, investment banker types, Indian, were in the train with me. And you know how it is in the tube, everyone looks at everyone but pretends they are not. I soon busied myself in my book and regained consciousness (;) ) only when the train had reached my stop and it was time to change trains.
The men left the train with me. It is a busy station and in the crowds that thronged around us, I found myself just a few feet away from the indian men. And I realised with a start that they were talking about me! In Hindi and loud enough for me to hear every word.
They concluded that I looked intelligent. One man rated me higher in the looks department than a white girl who had been standing next to me in the train but the other man disagreed.The checked my hand for a ring and found none. One of them commented on how seedhi saadhi I looked. They wondered if I have just finished studying and am probably an intern in a bank or something (smug look- meri twacha se meri umra ka pata hi nahi chalta). Then the first man, the one who had rated me higher than the other girl, decided he wanted to ask me out. His friend egged him on and told him to seize the moment and the girl (Which had me very worried for a moment!). They concluded that i was probably Italian but he could convince his mother that I was indian because I did look a little bit indian. (Really?) By that time we had walked to a part of the underground where I had to take a left and the men, I could guess from their body language, had to take a right.
The men hesitated waiting to see if I took the same lane as them.
With a swift turn, I faced the men. Cleared my throat and spoke in clear hindi to a stunned audience of two indian men.
'Sudhar jao, mere dost. Aese koh ladaki nahi milne wali'
The men stared open mouthed. I tossed my hair, and walked off into the sunset, my high heels clanking against the floor. In my imagination fireworks filled the sky and I found it difficult to wipe the smirk off my face the whole day that day.
 

I am now part of their story!

Today was sunny and on sunny days London blossoms into a stunning, gorgeous beauty, much like a woman  under the admiring gaze of the man she loves. On such days, I often find myself in our little balcony, staring not only at the river that glistens in the sun, but also at the families that troop by laughing, talking and enjoying the day.

Sid had gone out for a run and i was about to start my 40 minute yoga session when my eyes fell on a couple by the river.

I often see couples by the river but the moment I set eyes on them, I knew something soecial was going on. It took me but a few seconds to figure out that the man had just proposed. The girl, taken aback but visibly over the moon with joy, obviously had said yes and was laughing and crying as they stared at the new ring on her finger. I tried hard to not stare. The couple kissed about 200 times in a matter of ten minutes. The  man wiped tears off the girl's face and then a little later i saw the girl wipe tears off the man's face. He kissed her on her lips and when that did not seem enough, he planted tender kisses on her forehead. He held her and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled and cried. Together they stared at her hand admiring the ring that i have no doubt shone in the Sun. Even from a distance I could make out her expression, i could imagine her tears and i could sense her happiness.

Like, i said, i tried hard to not stare yet i stared for the moment was so beautiful and the couple was so much in love that i found it impossible to peel my eyes away. It was a private and a very special moment and I felt like an outsider (which I obviously was, but who cares!!)

And , in this day and age what do you do when something special happens around you?

You whisk out your iphone and click pictures and that is what i did. I clicked a few pictures and tried to forget about the couple. Afterall, it was their moment!

Only i could not, they were still there , staring intermittently at the ring on the girls finger and the river, still mumbling sweet nothings to one another. I flicked through the pictures and knew in that moment that were i that girl, i would love to have those pictures.

Of course going over to the couple to give them the pictures seemed weird. No one does that in London. We all pretend that we do not have eyes.

I decided to wait for 5 minutes. If the couple were still there, i would go them.

As i readied for yoga, i kept an eye out on the couple. They stood there, talking and laughing. They tried taking selfies which the girl seemed dissatisfied with. Then they asked another man with a baby in a pram to click a picture of them. Then they took pictures of each other. And i stared at what i felt was a beautiful picture of them on my phone and felt my heart bleed.

In london you do not interfere with what others are doing, a voice in my head said warningly.

'WHat the heck, I am Indian!' said the other part of my brain.

I threw on a coat, put on slippers and dashed out of the house. I ran to the startled couple and said ' Excuse me, I live in the house there' pointing to my house ' and was in the balcony taking pictures of the sunny day when i witnessed something special. I have some pictures of the two of you, would you like to have them?'

'Oh my God' the girl squealed, her eyes already wet as she stared at the pics on my phone.
'This is so special, this is so special' she kept mumbling.

I was so excited for the couple that i seemed to be taking ages to send a simple email to the man's ID with the pictures as attachment. I finally handed my phone to the guy who, as men generally are, seemed to be the only with his wits about him (I certainly did not :) )  They both thanked me profusely and I congratulated the couple.

I leave you with two of those pictures. I think they are beautiful mainly because that the two of them were madly in love was obvious even from a distance. And love can make life extra ordinary. Let alone a picture.

My heart felt very full, still does even though the incident happened a couple of hours ago. The Sun shone in all its glory; the Thames sparkled as if jewels were strew all across it; and the two of them stood there wrapped in love...

It was a special day for them and a special day for me too! I wish them all the happiness in their life together :)

Love,
R
  

DON'T!

The fun bit about no longer being 16 is that you can pretend to be all wise and talk about how life has taught you stuff. Here are some things I try and NOT do. I am sharing some of them here, for your benefit and mine

Read on to see if you find takeaways ( I hope you do!)

1. Don't judge people. They all have stories and some of them are more horrific that yours ever will be.
2. Don't ignore your soul. Ever since I was small, I have been aware of how my body is different from my soul. We all do so much for our body- the medical check ups, the vitamin tablets, the exercise. We forget that we have a soul that needs attention and nourishment. When I stop outside of the tube station and stare at the flowers, I am feeding my soul. When I open my hair on a windy day and let the winds play with it, I do it for my soul. When I sit back and embroider a flower, I do it for my soul...When I write, I do it for my soul. When I act with grace and not scream at the random man on the tube who is being rude, I do it for my soul.
3. Don't forget that there are other people around you. Whenever I am feeling sorry for myself, I get up and do something for someone else that makes them feel special. Nothing big, but  maybe bake someone a cake, give someone a well deserved compliment or even something as small as calling someone up and asking them about their new house or new baby or new job. Everyone is looking for affirmation of their existence and in validating others you uplift your own mood and soul.
4. I try hard to not say mean, discouraging things. To anyone. I firmly believe that words have a lot of power and they should be used only to uplift yourself and those around you.
5. Do not be jealous. When something nice happens to you, don't you wish people would congratulate you and mean it? Be that person.
6. Don't try too hard to be friends. If it is not working out or if you finish each conversation with a bad taste in your mouth, just let them be. You guys are not meant to be friends; accept that.
7. Don't be negative. By being negative you are telling the universe to send all its negative energies towards you. Also, no one will want to be around you because we all naturally gravitate towards happy, life affirming energies.
8. Don't betray yourself. My biggest responsibility , and I think that it is true for everyone, is to bring out the best in me. No one else has that responsibility and I owe it to myself to become the best person I can be. 
9. Don't ignore your mental health. It is as , if not more, important than physical health. Surround yourself with well meaning people who encourage you and see you in a positive light.
10. Don't fear. Fear cripples. Fear weakens. Fear gnaws at your soul. Fear stops you from becoming the person are meant to be. So don't fear anything. Whatever is meant to happen will and if it is something bad you will face it, battle it and come out of it shinning.  

Every once in a while it is okay to...

To not make every moment count. To not live every moment. To not be alive every moment. To just let time be.
To not hurry. to not catch up. To not run. To not chase. To just walk. 
To not shout. To not holler. To not be heard. To just listen.
To not shine. To not outshine. To just applaud.
To not measure. To not want. To not want more. To just breathe.
To not create. To not critique. To not improvise. To just appreciate.
To not get. To not receive. To not ask. To just not bother.
To not do better. to not improve. To just be bad.
To not achieve. To not do. To not do more. To observe.
To not wonder. To not think. To not overthink. To be at peace.

Every once in a while, it is okay to just be.Every once in a while, it is okay to just be.

Times Table

Recently, while in India, I had to live through (could not find a better word) about 10 minutes of extreme anxiety.

How I dealt with that time surprised me.

From somewhere deep within, as my  mind grew more and more anxious, the brain devised a solution for itself.

I spent the better part of the ten minutes doing mental maths.

I calculated the times table from 16 to 23. I am quite good with maths and as my brain voluntarily occupied itself with the complexities of multiplying 17 by 8 (136, by the way, comes instantly to mind and I am not showing off here), my body relaxed as if someone had done some magic.

Before I resorted to mental maths I had tried deep breathing, visualising etc etc. All had failed in seconds. Mental maths took me through till the end :)

It is funny, is not it, the things that your mind can find comforting.

I was wondering if others have had similar experiences and if so what finally worked?

Love,
R

 

Twenty Thirteen: The year in a post!

To be honest, I never liked the sound of 2013; there was a bad ring to it. So for that reason alone, I am glad it is over. What i learnt about life and myself in the last year: (Lessons learnt from 2012 in this post, and highlights from 2011 in this post)

• I like to keep challenging myself. I do it quietly, hesitatingly, all the while questioning my ability on the inside but i do it with a weird sense of confidence that is latent but very potent.
• This yoga class i attended a few weeks back and a chance comment from the instructor that stayed with me- she said: 'Injuries are very clever, they let you know your weaknesses; make them your friends and respect them'. I was so blown away by that sentence that i almost let go of the lizard pose she had us all in and went and gave her a hug. Injuries; physical, emotional and psychological- they all tell you what the chink in your armor is and it never hurts to know that and work on it. 
• The weirdest experience happened outside of office when a man stopped me and 1) said things about my past that were absolutely true and b) predicted my future. 
• I think life should be documented, what else is it if not a string of easily forgettable moments? This blog is one way of doing it but of course there is only this much that you can mention on a public blog. I have taken Ma's advice and have started sending emails to myself about the funny things, the compliments, the heart warming little incidents that one tends to forget..
• Its funny  you know; how you live life scared of some things and then the things that actually happen- you would have never even imagined that that would happen to you! I struggled massively with some issues this year and in trying to get over them, i tried so many new things, understood so much about myself that i think i evolved as a person more in this year than in any other. I learnt to be very optimistic and enthusiastic about everything in general. 
• Africa. Visit it. It calls me again and again. (The Africa Diaries here)
• Travelling is one of the greatest joys of life. I think it was this year that i truly realized how much i love to travel. My advice: If you can afford it, travel. If you cannot afford it, travel. So this year I traveled to India (of course), Lanzarote (Canary Islands),Mombasa (Kenya), Salzbourg (Austria), Istanbul (Turkey), road trip in Scotland, Amsterdam (again), Stockholm (Sweden), and Dubrovnik (Croatia). 
• Life can be perfectly fabulous without certain people in it. Don't take $%^& from people. If you are even vaguely/ remotely successful a lot of people will behave the way they do because they are jealous of you. Ignore, move on. 
• I performed on stage for the first time in ages. I danced to a Bollywood song in London. Here is a post with the details and some pictures.
• I discovered the immense joys of baking! Pictures of some stuff i baked here.
• I changed roles at work and am now doing something i never thought i would/ could. This change in role also meant that I pretty much smashed the before-i-turn-30 salary target i had set for myself. I am very thankful for this opportunity and work my hardest.
• I have realized that my biggest strengths are hard work and a good sense of humor. There was an email from my doctor that began ' Dear R, I must say your email made me giggle...'  To be honest, his email made ME giggle :)
• I made a lot of friends. 
• I have become an expert at throwing parties. I cook for 10 people without batting an eye lid and zero stress. 
• I got back to exercising and am loving it. Here is a post on my love for yoga.
• I painted, baked and embroidered.
• I realised that being Indian is a very big part of my identity. I tried very hard to not let Holi, Diwali, Karwa Chauth be just ordinary days; i called up people, cooked or got them to cook, and actually celebrated the festivals. For holi, we had colour, for diwali we had patake and for Karwa we had the channi and fasting. And for all these, we had a lot of people. My house feels like a home when all this happens and I like that feeling.
• I have made a ritual out of Sid's birthday. I cook a day in advance, invite his closest friends and make him feel all special :) We have also almost made a ritual of travelling for mine.
• My brother decided to get  married to a girl I am extremely fond of and the thought of them being man and wife just fills my heart with immense, pure joy.
• I realised that we might be scared, vulnerable and fearful. I also learnt that with wisdom, we can overcome such negative emotions.
• this was one of the most eye opening and oddly enough, spiritual experiences of my life.
• I watched all the episodes of Big Boss. Yes, kill me now.
• This year I finished writing two books. Maybe some day i will talk in detail about the first one but suffice to say right now that the first one is very close to my heart- I breathed and lived it for 1.5 years; for the first time the story completely overtook every aspect of my life. I would actually sort out the nitty gritties of the plot in my dreams, so obsessed was my being with it. Eating, drinking, sitting in the tube- the story would do its rounds in my head. However, no respectable publisher thought it would sell in the Indian market. That was a tough blow. I learnt to not give up. Picked myself up and wrote another one. Harper Collins has kindly agreed to publish it. (Whoop whopp, hurraaaayyy). I learnt, very simply, to not give up on my dreams. If you dream often enough and work hard enough, it generally, does happen :) And that is why, yet again, life taught me how important it is to keep at it. Simply keep at it.

I think, all in all, I became more active, learnt to massively multi task, struggled, succeeded, threw tantrums, cried my heart out, laughed, made others laugh a lot, stood by friends, fought with people i am close to, spoke my mind, grew in confidence, felt incredibly vulnerable, was horrible and absolutely lovely in equal bits. That pretty much sums up 2013.

To a fabulous 2014 to all of us!

Love,
R

Well...

'Are you a person or a museum or probably 3-4 people in one and should be put in a museum?' my Scottish manager asked me a few hours ago, laughing.

I get that a lot these days; people who share my life with me asking me how i do the many things i do and honestly, the question takes me by surprise because i do not know how to live any different. 

I wish i did, but i do not.

I have a high pressure, full time, B2B sales job with targets and customers spread across UK, rest of Europe, Russia etc.

I have one book in the market and another i have signed the contract for and am finalizing the details for.

Yesterday I baked and iced a cake for a lunch party i threw for my husband's birthday and this is not the first time I baked and cooked for someone's birthday. 

Today i will hopefully complete an embroidery project that i have been working on for quite some time.

I was a little indulgent (and very tired from the last few days ) and hence decided to not do any exercise today and i do not like the feeling.. I typically do some core strength exercises or a nice 40 minute cardio session or go for a 40 minute walk atleast 4-5 times a week. Close friends have been witness to my biceps and triceps which i have been proudly showing off to anyone who will bother. 

I have a BIG circle of friends in London most of whom wish to spend time with me. 

I traveled last month to Croatia, am travelling to India in Jan and to Iceland in Feb and still itch to travel more.

I am ALWAYS reading. I am extremely listless without a book.

I HAVE to speak to my Mum atleast once a day.

And I typically have a LOT of time on my hands. So much time that sometimes i wonder what is missing...

So, to answer the question, i understand that this is probably not normal but i do not know how or why i do it. 

 

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

 2009. Induction meeting in Delhi for MBA graduates who were to be part of the fast track management trainee program of one of India’s largest telecom companies. Lots of us excited MBA graduates ready to set the corporate world on fire and all that higgledy-pigglidy.

A casual first meeting, I suppose; one that I cannot even recall now. Another face in the crowd, probably…Five of us were going to be based out of the same city and he was one of them.

Half a decade and half way across the world later he is one of my closest friends.

When? How? Really?

Friendships. It is interesting to see how the important ones began. You allow yourself a little smile when you go back into time and see for yourself in a little self-directed movie how it all panned out.

Nik and I were together in the same company for a grand total of 3 months in 2009. Remarkably,that was the only time we have spent around each other. The five of us were a big, tight group, the tacit promise of helping each other see through the horrors of the internship ensuring that we had much to talk about, share and laugh at.

A finance role in a telecom company was never going to keep him for long, and he left soon after to join an investment banking firm, to do things he really, truly wanted to do. I stayed on in the company for another three months and then moved to London.

Since then, I got married, wrote a book, wrote another, then another and then ANOTHER! (Not all of them will be printed s don't freak out about the number of books I have in the pipeline )

Every author has a friend who reads the books they write as they write it. Typically, its their closest friend. For me, my Dad and Nik do that. We have spent hours discussing the characters, the plot and why he thinks what I have written is great/ ok/ utter rubbish.  He was also the brain behind the title of the first one and he will name my second.

Today is his birthday.

Last year, towards the end of December, it struck me that the entire year had passed and I had not wished him a happy birthday. Had I missed it, I asked him innocently, as I paced my garden back at home in India.

The answer, of course, was that I had indeed and he had been waiting for me to realize that I had!

I still mentally LOL when I think of that conversation.

Good friends are precious, very precious. And while my behavior hardly shows that I hold that thought dear, I dooooo!

Nikhil is one of the very few people who understands me even when I do not say anything (and I mean this literally). He is also one of the very few people in front of whom I can be me without fear of being judged. And I count that as a luxury.

Along the years, we have helped each other take some of the biggest decisions we have taken. Often not by giving advice but mostly by just hearing the other one out.

As you get older  As Nik gets older, I, of course, stay 16, you tend to value  such friendships a lot more than you did when you were younger.

And, so, on this august day of Nik’s birthday, (;) ;) ) I would like to wish him a world full of happiness.

Happy birthday, Nik.

You simply rock J

R.

The latest craze

So there is something new that has caught my fancy.

Yoga.

Now, I have been doing bits and pieces of it forever but it is only of late that I have taken to it with gusto. I mix it with exercises that work on my core, use pink coloured light weights and feel so so so good when I am done with it.

For the longest time ever, I just waited to find that whole hour to go to the gym. It hardly happened. One fine day I told myself that enough was definitely enough, and promised myself that if nothing I will do 15-20 minutes of yoga before I leave for work each day. Something, I reasoned with myself, was better than nothing? eh?

Let me just add that 15 minutes of yoga are the best investment possible. Take my word for it. And, well, you CAN take out 15 minutes for yourself. Atleast!

I do breathing exercises, stretching, surya namaskars and add a little bit of core to it  (How I LOVE planks and push ups!)

The only point in putting this here is because for some reason, of late, a lot of people have emailed/ told me how much this blog inspires them. That is an odd thing to say because I never intended for this blog to inspire. AMuse yes, but inspire, no.

So be inspired to work out....just start with 15 minutes in the morning.

Take my word for it. Your body will thank me :)

Love
R
 

Letter to the husband...

Sid,

Today, 4 years ago, as i cried bucket fulls in front of the rather horrified pandit jee, with the aag as saakshi (and other equally dramatic stuff), you put the proverbial sindoor in my maang.

In other words, we got married.

Marriage, like most important things in life unfortunately, does not come with a manual. No well thumbed book to tell me what to expect and how to deal with someone i had never lived with. In fairness, by the same logic, both of us were manual-less, you as much as me,  and we fumbled and tumbled as we groped in the dark. Okay edit that. Came out all wrong. But having been my husband for the last 4 years, you get the picture? Though we are far from being veterans, i do feel we have come a long long way.

Because i married you I feel I grew up twice. Once with my parents at home in India. And the second time, because i married you so young, I grew up again here in London.

Marriage has changed me. And i hope it has changed you in some ways too.

In living with you, i live with someone who is a) very clever and b)very alert. Even the random ticket guy in Croatia, after asking you a couple of questions (including a trick question in the end) about the map on the ticket looked at me and said ' He is such a nerd!' I don't know how you know it all. But being the dreamer that i am, I am very glad that you do!

In living with you, I live with someone who is very good at his job. That is, to say the least, very inspiring. Given that we do similar roles now, if i can be half as good as you are, i will be very happy!

In living with you, I live with someone who wants to show me the world. Like we calculated the other day, we have traveled to 18 different countries in the last 4 years and have been to some of them more than once. You have made the studious, home body me enjoy and revel in travelling, you literally opened the doors of the world and its possibilities to me. I thank you for that. (Keep at it, by the way, I want to see more!)

In living with you, I live with an extremely confident man, who is very sure of himself. I know it is rubbing off on me a little bit ;) and God knows I can do with it.

In living with you, I live with a man, who lets me try out, no, not  just try out but actively encourages me to do everything I want to. Whether it is sitting for 20 minutes and staring at the fish as they wiggle about in sea, snorkel in Africa or go and speak to Sunil Gavaskar at Heathrow Airport- you always egg me on. And sometimes a little egging on is all that one needs to make an ordinary day, extraordinary;)

In living with you, I live with a man who is not a jealous, clingy husband. the day I had my book launch, you took my bag from me and said ' For today, I am your chapraasi. I will carry your bags and bring you water or whatever it is that you need from me'. You probably do not even remember it and probably said it in jest, but it was one of the sweetest things you have ever said to me.

In living with you, I live with a man who still opens doors for me and lets me get on the escalators first.

When you taste the rajma and say ' its good, but not as good as yours' dismissively looking at the cook who is stocking the refrigerator, I laugh a good few minutes before i tell you that this rajma was indeed cooked by me. The sheepish look on your face is priceless.

In spite of the horrible Baingan ki sabzi that you made the other day, I would recommend marriage (while i would not recommend putting three green chillies in a spoon ful of sabzee). Definitely recommend it. With a disclaimer. If you are getting married, be ready to change. Not because someone will force you to but because, as you adjust to another way of life, as you experience another person's ideologies and mannerisms, some of them will unknowingly rub off on you and make you different from what you were.

In a good way.
In a positive way.


Don't get carried away, Sid. You can be quite the pig head at times. But then so can I so lets call it quits there ;)

On that lovely note about pig headedness that is such an integral part of us, happy 4th Wedding Anniversary.

Love,
R

What do i write about?

Like i mentioned earlier too, i have been writing like a crazy woman for the last 2 years, only not often on the blog. And it seems i have run out of practice now!

Also a lot of things i would have spoken of as an anonymous blogger, i refrain from given that I have come out of the closet ;)

So why don't you tell me what you want me to write about? Leave your comments or email me and i shall get back.

R

A Meme!

Sunday Stealing meme and my answers

1.Are you a young heart or an old soul?
Young heart. Silly things: a throaty laugh, rain, balloons, toddlers, fluffed up cake- they make me happy.

2. What makes someone a best friend?
If they can be happy for you when good things happen and sad for you when bad things do. The former is much more difficult than the latter.

3. What Christmas present do you remember the most?
None. I don't celebrate Christmas.

4. Tell me a movie/song/TV show/playbook that has changed your life.
None. People have changed/ shaped me not movies/ songs or playbooks.

5. Name one physical feature that you like about yourself and one that you dislike.
Well, I have been told that I have expressive eyes and would have liked to be a little taller.  Other than that, I firmly believe that we are all beautiful.


6. Can money buy happiness?
No but it can buy comfort and a lot of other things.

7. What’s more important in a relationship: physical attraction or emotional connection? 
At least one of the above is abs necessary.

8. Is there anyone close to you that you know you can’t trust? 
For the longest time ever, I did, but now I have proactively culled such people out of my life. Inherently, however, I do not trust a lot of people.

9. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a little kid? 
The servant’s quarter. Old books were left discarded there and I would spend hours going through them. Geeky, I know.

10. Have you spent a night in the hospital?
Yes, I have. More than one and I am still trying hard to forget them though it is almost one whole year now.

11. Do you enjoy being only with 1-2 friends or with a large group of people? 
Earlier it was the former. But once bitten twice shy so now I keep myself surrounded with  loads of fun people, none of whom I am exceptionally close to. Safer, easier and more fun.

12. Have you ever been bullied? 
No.

13. If your partner wanted to wait until marriage until having sex, would you stay in that relationship?
Yes.

14. Do you believe in God? 
Yes.

15. Out of all the social networks in the world why use a blog? 
Once I start speaking/ writing it is tough to stop. Twiiter and FB status updates just do not suffice.


16. What is your quirkiest habit?
I have to, have to, have to be on the left of the other person I am walking with.

17. What is normal? Are you normal?
I don’t know what normal is. I do not think I am normal.

18. Someone close to you is dying! You have the choice to let this person live for 10 more years but if you do you cause the death of 10 strangers.
Save that person who is close to me. I am very selfish that way.

19. What is one thing you could never forgive?
Lying. Consistently.

 

20. When you’re alone in your own home, do you talk out loud to yourself?
Yes. I am mad. I do that in office too, so it is no secret. People sitting next to me are used to it and just mumble a ‘you are doing it again' and I try and shut up. 


21. Who is your favorite super hero?
Don’t have one.

22. Could you be in a long distance relationship?
Was in one for about a year. It is not easy.

23. Do you know what makes you happy?
Yes. I love few people but I love them ferociously. Seeing them happy, safe and healthy makes me happy.

24. Who was your first crush?
First major crush was a senior in college (obviously)

25. Where is your favorite place to go out and eat?
I love MaPo Tofu and Royal China!

26. Are you an early bird or night owl?
I can be either but prefer to be the night owl; mostly because I cant sleep peacefully till I get the work done.

27. Give me an unpopular opinion you have.

-

28. Do you believe in giving kids medals and trophies for participation?
No. Win it to deserve it.

29. What song best describes your life right now?
None.

30. How do you express your creativity?
Write J

31. Give me the story of your life in 6 words. 

I work very hard.

 

 

 

 

Random updates

I am alive and well, thank you for asking. I have been writing like a woman possessed, only not on the blog (More on than sooner rather than later, watch this space for news *wink* *wink*). Right, so I know I have been absolutely horrible with the blog. Now is the time to set it right by...well...putting up a post!

Random updates are as follows:

• In a matter of 1 hour 15 minutes I did the following: cooked daal, 2 vegetables, 11 rotis. I also did the dishes and threw out the rubbish. Am I superwoman or am I superwoman is the question.
• Sid is on his way home from the Nordics. He should get a citizenship, I think, given the amount of time he spends here.  Being the good Indian wife that I am , hot, home cooked food will be waiting for him.
• Talking of food, I have begun to bake a lot! I find it extremely therapeutic even though I do not have a sweet tooth at all. The solution is then simple- I bake exclusively for friends, mostly for their birthdays. Here are two of my bakes, baked for two different friends.

• I went to India recently and it was the most heavenly 2 weeks. *sigh* Just a dull ache now remains, reminding me of the subtle joys of being at home.
• It is getting very cold here now, I went out today wearing a sweater, a woolen scarf and a long thick coat. And still found myself shivering! :/
• When I shiver, my teeth chatter, like really actually chatter. Does that happen to anyone else? or is just in the comics....and err....me?
• Interestingly (not sure if that is the right word), I took the wrong trains both when going to work and when coming back. I must have been in some winter induced daze.
• I met a friend after 8 long years last night! We were not great friends in engineering college, I mean I never disliked her, far from it, but we never really got talking. And I really enjoyed her company last night! Here is to friendship!
• Talking of new friends, one must also talk about old ones. Some friendships have a date stamp on them and they die a slow/ sudden death. I have learnt it the hard way that there is an upper cap on the number of times you can forgive someone. If they continue to..errr...be the person they are, you will have to end it. Sad and heart breaking but I have also reaslied that I do not wish to have negative energy in my life Jealous, insecure people with huge complexes are best left outside of the sphere of people you interact with on a daily basis.
• Oh, by the way, I met Amitabh Bachchan in Amsterdam. Yeah! Have a look at his autograph and feel free to die of jealousy.

• Work has become very very very busy and hectic. I am enjoying it and learning new things so, so far so good.
• A doctor I met today almost spat out his coffee when I told him my real age. He thought I was about 8 years younger than my actual age. I have not stopped grinning since.
• So we have travelled to Lanzarote (Spain), Salzbourg (Austria), Mombasa (Kenya), The Masai Mara(Kenya), Scotland, Istanbul (turkey) so far this year. And I just came back from a work trip. I am however, already itching to go and the next stop is going to be Croatia in November. I am uncharacteristically excited about it. I was dragged around the globe for 2.5 years by Sid before I truly began to enjoy travelling. And now that the bug has bitten me, it is amusing to say the least.

That's the random list. I shall be back with more...and I promise that I will try and blog more regularly.


Love
R






 

If

I was reading a post i had written from around the time of my wedding.

Close to 4 years now. And yet...I identify with each written word. Only retrospectively do i understand the power of what was.

Love
RP

Random updates

 

• A big dream seems fairly distant now. I have been working hard at it but sometimes success takes its own sweet time. I am this close to giving up but I know that I am not a quitter. I am keen to see how things will pan out. If only...
• I returned to London yesterday after spending last week in Turkey. It was a good, relaxing holiday which we had taken with the in laws.  I will put up a picture post soon.
• Now is also the first time in 6 weeks that its just the two of us at home. The house does feel a little empty.
• I saw Inkaar today and was totally blown away by Arjun Rampal. He is an absolutely fabulous actor and I don't know why I was surprised by this!
• I am down with flu and cough, fyi
• Monday onwards I start a completely new role at work. I never thought that one day I will be doing B2B sales in Europe! And here I am, all excited about it. Really really looking forward to it :)
•  I am also planning a surprise for someone...I love planning surprises! Yohoooo!
• I have cut off all carbs from dinner in an attempt to lose 1.3 kilos of weight.
• I made chocolate and pistachio cake for Sid (and a friend) today and ate half of it myself. I think I am now overweight by 3.3 kilos. *Sigh* Here is a picture of the warm, soft and absolutely delicious cake fresh from the oven :

• I have started experimenting with nail paint colors. Instead of the usual pinks and reds I am now using oranges, purples and (lo and behold) ornage and purples! I know- does not sound too appetizing but well, better to do it and regret it than not do it ;)
• I read a John Grisham in Istanbul and have just ordered 'Game of Thrones'. I also really really want to read ( I mean re rereread) The Harry Potter books. And Pride and Prejudice. Sometimes I crave these books as if they are long lost friends...
•  On weekends when I should sleep till ten, I am generally up by 7. Arrrggghhh. The unfairness.

And as randomly as this list began, it ends ;)

Love
R