Looking beautiful Vs Feeling beautiful!!!

hey guys , i just read this post and it is wayyyy tooooo girlie !! Dun say i did not warn you!! :D


Looking beautiful and feeling beautiful are two bherry bherry differnet things.
You do not need to look beautiful to feel beautiful....Sometimes soemthing someone says , sometimes the way someone looks at you makes you feel as if you happen to be the prettiest this world has to offer!
I dont know why I wrote what I just wrote. It's almost midnight and after the ultra hectic day I have had today,I should have been dying to go to bed...but apparently that is not the case.I feel like talking to someone, and talking some more and then a little more and then just a little bit more!!!!
Seriously !!!
I always have soooooo much to talk about!!
I am in the lie-on-the-bed-hug-a-soft-pillow-and-jab-jab-jab-till-i-fall-asleep mode right now!
But well, since there is no one around and i really hate those silly chat rooms full of'Hot male 21, wanna talk??' type of rubbish, bloggie dearest came to mind....
My room is spick and span, i had a looong 'royal' bath , shampooed my hair ..and i just love this feeling of everything saaf-suthara....I like the smell of this shampoo,I also like the smell of this talcum powder and I also like the smell of this soap....
hehe...u know if due to some reason( e.g. too many guests) my bro and I were forced to share a room, so then whenevr I would come to bed, within seconds bhai would be like," oye, why do you always have to smell nice at night??Can't you smell normal??"
hehe...rubbish bhai!:D
Coming back to what I intended to write here....I dunno if it has ever happend with you or no, But there have been ocassions when I think that I am looking horrendous and then someone says something positive and then suddenly I start feeling nice ....Most ppl on my blog are guys, and I do not know if most guys are as sensitive to this topic as most girls are......

Before I started college, I hardly ever used to wear salwaar-suits. When I dropped an year after 12th , then too I generally used to stick to jeans and all..but once in a while, bherry bherry rarely, I would wear a suit.And boy !did I feel pretty then!!??!!You know the suit and the dupatta ..gosh, I used to feel like some sort of a fairy!!:D
And since I used to wear suits so rarely,thre used to be sooo many compliments.....thats the magic of dresses, they make you feel prettier and more beautiful than you might actually be ;)
It does not matter how you look, but it so totally matters how you feel....

Suits are compulsory in college, I never had a problem with that , you know. MOst girls went crazy when they heard this news and most of them could hardly manage the dupatta and all....I never faced any problems with managing a suit , i have never had any problem with managing all this, it comes naturally to me :)
So, now , the magic of suits no longer exists. Now its all about saarez...aaah....do I love wearing sarees??
yess!!!
yessssss!!!!
YESSSSSSSSS!!!
I have worn a sari just 3-4 times and I just looooovvveeee them!!!!My fave sari is sky blue in colour and its in some material thats translucent .It has light embroidery in silver thread....
It is so simple and nice and pretty!!!
Its so ossum to even simply feel it!
You know , I remember the day i bought that sari so well cuz of two reasons.

1. It was the first and ab tak ka only time when I was asked if I was intersted in modelling! print modelling cuz I was a bit tiny for the ramp..
those were that guys exact words.
I had just worn the blue sari and this guy looked at me as I emerged from the trail room in the blue sari and said,
"Excuse me ma'am but are you intersted in modelling. Print modeeling( i think thats wat he called it) cuz..err..umm..you are a bit tiny for the ramp"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had the time of my life telling that guy that I was not intersted ! Thats so totally something I will tell my grandchildren about, fer sure!!!! Maybe even add a copule of things to make the story more impressive!!:D
Okay, right! woh guy blind tha, theek hai, tha, so what???? mujhe model banae ka offer de kar gaya na..bus!
and you know when the guy left, Ma was like" ab, 5'2 inna bhi kam nahi hota hai!!!!"
lolz..mumz will be mumz!:D

2. I had never felt prettier on my own before!Really, I pity guys for the simple reason that most of them will never wear a sari...its ossum, guys, just simply ossum!!!!
try it, someday!
*falls down the chair laffing!!!, plz dunt guys, dunt!!*

See, its all about feeling pretty....its hardly about actually being a pretty gurl....for as they say....
People for whom you matter will nevah mind how you look
and those who mind how you look should never matter.!!!!!

I am feeling so nice right now!!! I think I am ging crazy or something!
Inni silly si post ke liye big time sorry, but you see I just wanted to blabber and thats what I did!!!
maafi deh doh sarkar!!
Shekhar jee ka tag coming up next!

And for all of you whom i think of when I think of my blog,I hope you are all warm and snug in your beds,dreaming the sweetest of dreams.
Gunite friends.
MW.

Nazaar lag gayi!!!!

Kise??
Arre, baba, mujhe!!!!


Now i am not someone who believes in all this rubbish(for thats what it is!)but well.....hear me out.
We went to MP cuz my father had to attend some All-India-rubbish-conference so this one day..just hours before we were to leave for Gwalior, I was sitting on the steps of Minto Hall , the venue of the conference in Bhopal, waiting for Mum and Dad to arrive.

Switch over to the railway station.

I am perfectly healthy and all and am busy staring at this twenty something Punjabi girl cuz her tights were too tight!! Now ..now ..dont get ideas and all...In my defence any one would have!they were tooooooooo tight , man!
Ma nudges me.
pata hai....jab tum stairs par baithi thi , toh for a moment i wondered who this cool gal is...u were looking good, beta.
I give her a ooh-wow-!!!-a-compliment look
Let me add here that my mother has some problems with distant vision and she does not wear specs.But on times like this i prefer to ignore such teeny-weeny insignificant details....*casual look*

Two minutes pass.

ACHHHHEEEEEE!!
ACHHHEEEEEEE
ACHHHHEHEEEEEEEEEEE

Ten minutes pass. Shatabdi is 2 minutes late or something.My head is ready to burst with pain!

15 minutes pass.
My eyes are red.My forehead is hot. I have fever.

During the one hour journey from Bhopal to Gwalior I busy myself thinking about how i wud like to murder everone in sight.The copy BT which graces my hands is sometimes a knife, sometimes a revolver ....phew!
ny the time I got down the train, i got this tiny feeling that there is some kind of a n ulcer in my mouth, right where this crooked tooth would continuously hurt it....hmmm....

We stayed with an old friend of Dad who also happens to be an eye surgeon. they were very very hospitable and tried their best to keep us engaged during the day. But me, poor , poor me.....no life left at all....could hardly take in the historically important city with as much enthusiasm as i felt for it. The only time i perked up was when we drove through Scindia school...:D I had never been inside an all boys boarding school before , so well...that was the only time i was vaguely alert!

Now we came back home , in one piece ..err..i mean in 3 differnt pieces, the fever was not there,no cold,but...
(this word 'but'...*deep sigh!!* )
that teeny little ulcer had become the biggest thing i had ever seen in my entire life!!!!
My mum is one of those ppl who do not believe that headaches exist. She 'll look at you sadly and say," i think, its brain tumour"

Right hand paining???
"heart attack!!!!!"

khansi aa rahi hai???
"pneumonia!"

Simple as that.
So, you have an ulcer thats here to stay types??? "MOuth cancer!" was be my mother's verdict!
simple as that!!

My Dad's the complete opposite, go to him with a report that says that you are going to die in 3 days cuz u ahve some dreaded form of cancer and he'll look at you and say a cheery" arre, no tension!! fruits khao, active raho...sab theek hojayega"!

Anyways coming back to my ulcer.That wretched thing made my life hell!!! I could not eat, could not speak(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) , could not smile, could not drink water, could not yawn...grrrrrr...could not even use a big spoon!!!
Now add to that the fact that i was eating something like two spoonfuls of rice with dal and nothing else in an entire day, obvio my health would fall naa??!!! Like isnt it obvious???!!!!
I ahve some aunties who inspect me each time they come. They grade me on 3 things.
1. Complexion.
2. Weight.
3.Proverbial glow on the face.

I lost 3 kgs in 4 days.I turned about 3 shades darker in 4 days and the elusive glow well...remained elusive.
How i totally dreaded their visit should it happen.i knew exactly wat would come out of their too-red mouths the moment i would enter the drawing room !!!
But thankfully none of them graced us with their presence!*thank you God for these big things!!!love you!*
But I was scared that one of them might turn up!!! gosh!!!!

Anyways , ultimately , even my dad got a bit tense, mainly after he saw me take about one hour to finsh about two tiny spoonfuls of rice . So he got me Oracep!

Do you know pain ? Unadulterated?
I know it now!Man!! That Oracep!!&^%%@@#@@!@!##$%^^&&%$#@
the moment i would put that slimy thing on my ulcer my whole being would be consumed with one and only one thing. PAIN! searing, unadulterated , unyielding, vicious pain.
the kind that blocks out evrthing , the kind taht leaves you breathless.

I dont know myself , really. When i am hungry, i dont realise that i am hungry. I go to Ma and tell how nice Chowmein is, or how yummy bulls eye is..and she gets the picture and makes me gobble up unintersting rotiz and sabziz!!So i never really realised how much of pain i was in while i put that medicine till i caught Ma looking at me.The look on her face said it all and I immediately looked in the mirror to see a breathless me, lips white with pain.
hmmmm....
Anyways, Oracep worked wonders and now i am back to normal.
I think it'll take me one /two days to put on the lost few kgs but other than that me doing good!!

yesterday me and Ma were talking.Actually no...well..Ma was trying to sleep in my room while i was studying, both of us were on the same bed.So i crawled up to her, took out my pen and made a huge dot on her forhead.
Ma growled " yeh kya kar rahi ho??!!!!!!"
" ab tumhe nazar nahi lagegi", I said angelically.
Ma( she has no respect for the love i ahve for her) :Stop it or ab pitegi!!!!
All remains silent for some time. Ma tries to sleep again. I look at her bare hands, ab hands ko nazar lag gayi toh???
I put this huge dot on her hands.
Ma( totally irritated) : stop it aur ab i'll start!!!
Me: arre, meri nazar lag jaati tumhare haath ko??, i had to put this dot, mera farz tha *beatific smile*
ma: arre bachchon ki nazar nahi lagti Ma ko.
Me: Ma ki bhi nahi lagti!
Ma: ma ki sabse jyadah lagti hain. Remember ,you fell sick miutes after i told you that you were looking good!!

HHHMMMMMPPPHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Ramblings....
Well i have about 10 minutes before i get down to padhai so i thot i'll blog....Loads of work is piling up now, md semesters begin on Monday and i have to increase the number of hours i am putting in for CAT...i really dun know how much is enough..i know i know..its differnt for evryone and all that, but i cannot understand how much time i shud give to CAT ki padhai...Like a lot of ppl tell me that sine curve waali theory...peak at the right time and all that..but i am wondering if not studying as much as i can tight now could backfire ultimately....
I find myself enjoying it so much more than Btech ki padhai..Its after a long long time that i am doing some kind of padhai that i am enjoying as well...
good for me, i guess..

Amit asked me, through one of his comments ,about how i spent my budday.Well for once, afetr a long time i have something to share :D. For the first time in my life someone threw a surprise budday party for me...!!!!!!!!!!!
yess!!
yess!!!
My Mum and Dad arranged it all and at 8 in the night my Dad called up from his clinic and he was like , hey lets go out for dinner. I was in bed by that time watching the telly and all and i was like lets leave it now and all that.Bhai keeps calling in the meant time asking weird questions like where are you rigt now et etc...So then when i reach Nerulaz I SEE FRIENDS WITH GIFTS( : D ) STANDING THERE!!!!!
It was soooo terribly nice .
Got gifts from nani, mamiz , cuzns, frnds, bhai...who sent me a very simple card that reduced me to tears....( jab non senti ppl thoda bhi senti kaam karte hai toh aisa hi hota hai: ) ).nivindya, poor gurl kept calling home but i was too buzy with my budday bash so i was not at home, so i could not speak to her....
The day itself startd with a surprize...
listen to this...
It was liek around 8 in the morning and no one was home.I was in my red Pjz and horrendous blue pullover. The door bell rings. I think its the doodh waala....grumbling i open the door to see a absolutely gorgeous looking Latika holding this HUGE bunch of flowers at the door!!
she lives like real far from my home and the pains she must have taken to come over!!!*deep but happy sigh!*It was sooooo sweet!!!!!
I really appreciate the effort some ppl in my life take to make things special for me......
In between moring and evening i was sooo ultra sad and depressed, dunno why though..it always happens on buddayz..mayb cuz i am supposed to be happy , i get depressed but then i thot about all these ppl for whom i am important and then it was okay. the surprize budday party was the absolute icing on the cake.
so, this year it was the first time that i:
a) got a HUGE bouquet!!!( isase pehle nevah got one ,as surprising as it may be:) ) There were yellow flowres cuz yellow is the color of friendship and pink ones cuz latika knows pink is my fave color!!
B)surprize budday bash!
c) actually had to miss my first lecture in college cuz i was so busy taking calls from ppl!!!!! you know it was soo damn funny that morning!! i wud be like talking on the fone , tab tak someone wud call on my cell, dad wud keep the caller buzy tll i finished with the land line, by then dad's cell wud start ringing!!
it was so funny!! So ultimately i had leave the morninings lesson!!!
funny reason kilass chodane ka...
bus ab cuz like 15 minutes ho gaye hai!!!!
gotta go and study ERP , i have quiz in the last period today and plus Midsems aa rahen hai..plus aaj i have my choching also...so no time!!!

bijee as a beee.
Moon walker

Will reply to the comments of the previous post in some time...

Back!!!!

I am back!!!
From Madhya pradesh and will post about it later.
I just returned like an hour ago. I m still in my jeans and a light pink+grey+blue+white striped v neck sweater that i bought with Nivindya when she was home some time back.I have not as of yet taken off my pink and white NIkes either.Dad is reading the newspaper and Ma is in the kitchen. The house is quiet....

I did some heavy duty thinking during these past 4 days...dunno why but i wanted to make some sense out of myself!!
why am i here?
am i doing what i really want to?
There are things about myself that i am kinda okay with, somethings that i even like but most of them i cannot stand.
I hate my temper. Its one of those quick to rise quick to fall ones, but thats not the point. When i am angry its very rare that i'll go upto that person and tell him/her hey, you did this /said this and i did not like it blah blah blah...
No I do not. I just keep shut. It lessens the complications.

I worry too much. About little things. About weird things. About things taht have not happened. About things that will not happen. I hate it. but then i think i like it as well....i dont know!!!I so dont know ...i think i am crazy , really!!

I cant hurt someone on purpose. Its like if some does something bad to me, i can't do the same to him/her. I really cannot. I wish i could, maybe one feels better after that.....

I am too much of a good girl.

Okay let it be, the list in head is becoming way too long now:D
I lovvvveeeeeeeeee families where people are bherry bherry close to one another.I just love it!!You know, i think it is so totally important for kids to be brought up in an envoirnmnet where they know that they are loved and cherished .
I love looking at parents with their bachchas when they are unaware or eyes on them.
Its nice to see a little chubby girl pointing out something she finds intersting to her mum and the mum smiling and listening with great attention to watever the 3 yr old has to say...

It so nice to see men taking care of their mothers who are old and are ailing....My mama and tau ji are both fantastic sons. It is soo nioce to see the sons and more importantly the daughters-in-law being nice to the older people when no one is looking...
I hope and pray to God that my parents never need my help per se but if they do, God please let me take good care of them.The same goes for my in-laws in case i marry...

A house full of love, a family full of love, a heart full of love.

I don't understand why families fight over money and land. It does not happen in my family but it does happen elsewhere , right? I really have no idea about what kind of stuff i have or will have but whatever i have, is as much Bhaiz as it is mine.I just do nmot understand this stuff, i do not understand the mentality behind fighting with your family over money.
Money is RUBBISH!
Coming from a normal middle class family , ofcourse , i have been taught to respect money. Anyone whose parents work hard to earn moeny should respect money and all but fighting over money????? i dont understand it.

I love pink:)

Sometimes i wonder about my future....i am not cut out for engg but i am doing it..i never wanted to really, like i was never passionate about it and all but i thought it was a sensible decision ....i still think it is a sensible one...but..
(aah...the 'but' says it all!)

I wonder why people give so much importance to good looks...that also is something i fail to understand...
I am not saying this coz i am no Aishwarya Rai look alike , i wud have had this view even if i were. btw, if i were ash, abhishek bachcha mite have been a prospective grrom*blush, blush*
being an average looking girl i have had my share compliments and comments and i find both equally ridiculous.
Though having extremely good looking parents does not help much!!!:D
I really dont thinks looks matter.Really, they dont!
But sometimes when u try out dresses and u look in the mirror one does sigh deeply. It is a i-wish-i-had-papaz-eyes/i=wish-i-had-Maz-nose moment!:D

okay okay ab boht ho gaya.
it was nice talikng to you.
Tomm is Valentines Day. It means nothing very special to me.I'll just ahve to bear a couple of sidey remarks from road side Romeos when i retun from colg tomm;
however,here is wishing evryone!!
Happy Valentines Day all!!
Specially to Nivindya, Ranjan, Putra, Shreyansh, Prajji,Sudhir bhaiya:)

Dear Bhai,





Today,for the first time ever,its the 4th of Feb and all four of us are not together.

Today, for the first time ever, its the 4th of feb and there is going to be no sign of Rachit, Gaurav and Pummy.

Today, for the first time ever, its the 4 th of feb and no one is making me go crazy pestering me for a gift!

Today, for the first time ever ,i wont be able to wish you in person.
But what the heck!
I have called you, and now i will wish you here!
Happy Budday , Dude!!!!!!
Happy BUdday!!!
Happy Budday!!!!!!:D *hugs*

Sending you loads of love, hugs and the bestest of wishes from all the three of us here.Have a great day,a great year,a great life.Moi z there whenever you need any help or support.

Happy Birthday, once again bhai!
Love,
Didi.

p.s. tum ek saal aur buddhe ho gaye:P

Poorani baatein





"What was the time????"
As simple as that!
I ask ten people and i get ten different answers.I just want to know what time i was born at.I ask Ma and she gives me a 'for-god's-sake-i-was-having-a-baby-grrrrrr' look.
I ask Dad and he says confidently "4:30 in the evening, beta".
I ask Dadi, just to confirm and she says" 11:30 in the morning , beta".
" But Dadi, Papa to shyam ko bol rahe hai"
"Kya??? arre us ladake ko kutch pata rehta hai!!!! Nahin, beta subah hi paida hui thi,tum".
side note: According to Dadi anyone less than 60 years is still a ladka or a ladki depending on their gender.

Me to Dad: "But, Dad, Dadi toh subah bol rahi hain!!!"
Dad:"kya????arre unhe kya pata ,woh bhool gayi hongi!!"

My point here is that not only am i my parents' first born i am also the only girl in the family!! And they dont even remember the time!!!Leave alone the exact precise time, my people cannot even come to a conclusion about what part of the day it was!

Now, obviously many of you are scratching your respective heads and wondering why don't I simply have a look at my birth certificate to confirm!Well, you see, I really can't trust my BC at all.I have no faith in it or errr...them...I have , in all ,two BCs.Let me llaborate.

BC #1.:
This one is the original one. Its nice and must have been a crisp sheet of paper once upon a time, many many years ago.It is a pretty shade of pink .
PINK.
PINK!!!!.

It gives the number of the ward and the room in which i was born. And you know what?? My dad and I, born 30 years and 7 days apart ,both came into this world , in the same hospital,in the same ward ,in the same room.

Room No 7.

My brother born a year and a day after me, breathed his first, on his own, in a room just next door to the one i was born in.:)

BUt now, coming back to the BC.
It is full of not so nice to read things which basically mean very nice to know things like me and Ma doing good.It says that my tongue is pink in colour( as if there was some chance that it could be silver!!), It gives my weight.In ounces. It says that my mother's blood pressure is normal.It also has a capital 'M'in the 'gender of the baby' column.
M.
M!!
M!!!
For the unintiated M in such places means male.
M-A-L-E.
My birth certificate says that i am a male child.

Ahem.


This lead to obvious doubt in my head that i got exchanged at the clinic.The handsome young couple I refer to as Ma and Chacha( for I actually call my Dad , of all things , Chacha!) might not be my Ma and Chacha. The fact that my cousin used to tell me that I was picked up from atop a garbage dumb where I lay crying, with just one arm and no legs , as dogs and pigs ate lunch, breakfast and dinner around me did nothing to help.However, as I so totally totally and totally look like my Dad and Dadi...I am now at peace about that, but at one point of time...there was some serious doubt in my mind.
Hence and there for i do NOT use the original birth certificate.I mean like I can't!!
THis brings us to BC#2.

BC#2 :

This is the birth certificate that I do use.
It is written by my Dad,in the fake capacity as the doctor incharge.
Signed by both Baba and Tauji as senior doctors.

How many of you can boast of birth certificates which are totally'made-in-the-family' sorts??

By the way,when I was born , the first thing my father did was to count the number of hands and legs I was the proud owner of . It came to a grand total of 6, but he reasoned and reasonably so that any excess limbs could be dealt with later.
Jyada theek hai, kum hota toh problem thi.

I shall mention here that right from day one I have had 2 hands and two legs.
Only. Thank you.
I am also a girl. I have been one since the day I was born.Yes, I am sure. Thank you.
I did not get exchanged at the hospital.Yes, I am quite sure here also.
Have a nice day , I hope I will.
Adios.
Moonwalker.

Mishterr MoonWalker

In the past few days I have come to two conclusions .
1)Most guys are...umm...well...lets not say what I think about them right now.
2)Girlfriends totally rock!

But I have been tagged and I have to write 8 points about my ideal lover.hehe..this sounds so funny , so ,like Praddy prajji( who, by the way , is the gentle soul with an exclusive i-am-going-to-tag-you evil laughter who tagged me), I too shall not refer to my ideal lover as my ideal lover, instead lets call him Mr. MoonWalker . So, it is a hippopotamus of a task to waddle from the state of mind I am in to the one essential and imperative if one wishes to put up a worthy post on the ideal Mr. MoonWalker.

1. The most important thing for me is the character of the guy. Simple as that. I cannot bear flirts. Okay ,a lot of you would belong to the genre which believes flirting to be as healthy as 3hrs of yoga followed by a gigantic bowl of fresh fruits but i am as far from that group of people as is Pluto from Mummy Earth.So , Mr.MoonWalker has to be someone who doesnt faint with excitement/get hyper/crack those i-am-sucha-dude jokes each time something in a skirt walks by.

2.As far as looks are concerned, no modern day Adonis is required.Hmm..just discussed this with Ma, she is real cool okay. So according to her, those,lean guys in thoda baggy white tees, specs, padhai-likhai waala luk are my types..hehe...maybe...the only thing is that Mr.MoonWalker's nose should be presentable..bus! submarine! helicopter!

3.Well read. Now see, most guys run at a good to very good average speed when brought face to face with a buk. The putative Mr.M should not be one of them. A fellow P.G.Wodehouse fan would be heaven sent.This is classic example of wishful thinking.*deep sigh!*.In case any of you reading this is/becomes a proff of the all important and pertinent subject of Wishful Thinking at Harvard/Stanford you are most welcome to quote this as an example of a bad case of wishful thinking.

4.See, the problem with me is that even though i might have hundreds of things to say when some serious,emotional matter is under discussion, i just end up saying some thing totally non commital.My closest friends have braved these kinds of situations with admirable strength, valour and determination.*applause* I generally just hurriedly end the discussion as thousands of things scream their lungs out, silently, inside my teeny-weeny head.I can only hope that Mr.MoonWalker somehow understands this.He can also take Ms Nivindya's. 'how-to-manage-Ms-MoonWalkeer' classes held on Mondays from 6 in the evening. I hear she is quite good.God bless her.

5.I get scared of people very easily.I hope Mr.M is one of those non-scary types. I would not like to be scared of Mr.MoonWalker. A simple guy would make a very nice Mr.MoonWalker.

6.Mr.MoonWalker should not dictate my way of living.If i want my hair streaked red( right now i have honey-brown streaks ,by the way)and Mr MonnWalker happens to have a distinct proclivity towards blonde, he is most welcome to get all hishair coloured blonde. Mine shall be streaked red . Full stop. Period.

7.I live by some rules..I have a pronounced sense of what's right and what's not. You see, I need to respect myself, I need to be able to look myself back in the eye when I look in the mirror( which since is very often...ahem..), I am very bothered about what I think of myself. This has to be understood by Mr.M. I am neither as frivilous as most girls nor as silly ( atleast most of the times till I don’t see anything PINK .Then I go crazy).

8. It would be nice if there are some common things that both of us want to do .It would be nice if he likes to travel, it would be nice if he likes mountains, we could plan stuff together and have a nice time doing it. It would be nice if Mr. M is a teeny, just a teeny teeny bit like me.

Having said all of this, I must add some more rather abstract stuff. See, things like money and looks genuinely don't matter to me .Someone nice and simple who cares about me would do just fine. However, right now I have other important stuff on my mind …..

Sorry guys, but I always believed that guys are rubbish.. atleast most of them are, now I know how right I have always been………So, Mishterr MoonWalker is most definitely going to be someone my parents choose for me some years down the line. I simply refuse to have anything more to do with guys than is absolutely essential…

Now, I shall go back to my beloved books , books are millions of times better than most people and I wish I were not so cynical now

The white Maruti

First and foremost, for those of you who actually missed me ,lemme do some explaining..My system at home is acting real smart..it has got tons of attitude, you see. SO i could not really post, blogspot juss wudnt open!!!. Apart from that, i have been keeping busy reading books, having a great time with Bhai( who left yesterday, :( but no fear , i am not going to put up another depressed post which i'll have to remove later!) and in general enjoying the few days i have before the dreaded fifth semester begins...*sigh!*
If you look at it, this IS going to be crucial year for me.I shall ( hopefully!) get a job this year, I will write CAT in November..so yess, it will be an important year...lets see how it turns out for me..

Some days ago, we had some people over for dinner.Their 5 year old daughter Shruti came as well...Now, by the time these people got moving it was already past midnight and Shruti was asleep on the sofa. I watched as Shruti's Dad roughly woke her up...it was an OH-MI-GAWD moment for me as I quickly went up to him and asked him to carry Shruti to the car and not wake her up.
In retrospect, i wonder why i did what i did. The answer is simple, when i was little and when i would fall asleep this way in someone elsez place, i was never woken up. My Dad would always carry us( coz if i was asleep there was little chance that Bhai wud be awake) to the car...even if i was not exactly asleep , i would keep my eyes shut :).Then when we would reach home Dad and Ma would again carry us to our beds...
btw, this is all about when we were really tiny, ab nahiin , okay!!!

Talking about sleeping in the car has opened flood gates of memories...let me share some of them with you, here. My nana- nani live 5 hrs away from where i live, so after finishing the evening clinic at 9:30 in the night, Dad would drive us to their place for a tiny one or two day break. I can so totally recall those hours spent in the car( My white Maruti..she was bought when i was 2 years old and she stayed with us for 16 long ,faithful years .I was heart broken when we parted with her..and its funny how i still miss the white Maruti so much at times. )Due to the odd hour, ours would be the only vehicle for miles and miles, the wide open sky visible in its darkness, the stars, the moon, the trees taking up weird shapes.Dad would point out all this to the two of us.Once in a a while, he would switch off the head lights and everything would be pitch dark !Me , Dad and Bhai would get real excited and Ma would almost have a heart attack and Dad would be forced by Ma to switch the head lights on agin. After dinner in the car( which consisted of aloo-puriz, served to all by yours truly.It was, is and shall alwayz be my job to serve food, whether we are in a car or at home!)things would always become very quiet post dinner..as the clock ticked ,the steady banter that goes on between Ma and Dad when they are together would gradually cease,Bhai would doze off and i would try to sleep sitting in the back of the car.
Often ,just as i would fall asleep ( or so it would seem!) i would wake up with a jolt to realize that the car has veered off the road and i would hear Dad wisper sheepishly to ma," AAnkh lag gayi thi.."
Then Ma would say"arre, meri bhi lag gayi thi...toh fir aaj clinic mein kya hua?"
This is Ma's rule .She says that the person sitting next to the one driving at night should not fall asleep ,infact should keep talking to the driver so that the person driving does not fall asleep either.Then Dad would launch into another of the million things which happen at the clinic, sometimes explaining some complicated step in some complicated surgery to Ma ( no, she is NOT a doctor but if any one in the family has any medical problem, shez the one we go to.'we' includes Dad as well:D )and listening to them talk i would doze off once again. My Dad dozes off atleast once each time we travel during the night!!

This last time all four of us went to Naniz place some things were different.The beloved white Maruti has been replaced by something supposedly grander(duh!X( ) for sometime now ,Dad did not drive, Bhai did, Ma did not sit in front ,I did. And yes, me and bhai jabbed all night, all the way ,cuz you know na... the person sitting in front with the guy driving should keep him engaged in conversation lest he dozes off.All this while Ma and Dad slept in the back of the car.

We do become a lot like our parents, don't we?
Adios
Ruchi.

p.s. i have not used spell check, i am not even going to proof read this ..so sorry about the spelling mistakes and bad grammar..mood nahi hai kutch check karane ka:)

Dear Mr. God,

I don't know if the customary 'I hope this letter finds you in the pink of health' with which I used to begin all informal letters I used to write for English Language tests in class 4 ,shall suffice or no. This however, in no way means that I wish elsewise...
Now coming abruptly to the point,I don't know if you exist. Certainly , you are not someone with a huge white beard attired in a a resplendent white 'dhoti' with a HUGE crown on glittering head, sitting amidst huge lotus petals and smiling benignly as you throw rose petals at people getting married on Earth.That I know, but then I don't know if you exist as in exist as an entity with a thinking brain. All that I see around me viz flowers, insects ,flies, rivers, people ,are all said to be your creations but I wonder....Isn't it simply evolution? Changes keep happening ,not always for the better, and the fittest survives....What role do you have then??
But sometimes, when I want to thank someone for whatever I have , it is you I think of. When things go wrong, even though no one has ever seen you, I turn to you for help and guidance. You are essential for the upkeep of order in the society, I feel that today ,as a society taken as a whole, there is much more crime solely because most of us have no fear of You. No, I know you wont take out ur mutli pronged arrow the moment some babu in some nondescript village in UP takes a bribe of Rs.25 to set a file moving . NO. But if the babu is God fearing he might simply refuse the bribe.That could obviously be attributed to that 'jwaala ki warsha' kit that you or any of your comrades have supposedly used in chapter X ,page Y of some religious text the babu's mother read to him as a child. But it could also be because the Babu's conscience does not allow him to accept the bribe. That conscience is partly you .
As you might have gathered i am not an atheist ( lots of people are, and I am sure they write u hate mails!!!Bad people!!!! ) ,I am not even agnostic, infact I think I believe in you.But at times I just am not very sure. Most people say that since you could not be everywhere, you created mothers.I agree with any blessed soul who says that. All that is attributed to you, i see in Ma , no ,she is not perfect, i am old enough to point out her foibles to her when i see them..but i feel my mother is as close to perfection as one can be. I am sure most people feel the same way about their mothers as well ...but well...i digressed. So my mum was an atheist, she never believed in your existence, but now she does. She tells me that it is only sensible and positive to think of someone very powerful who is on your side.
She tells me to think of myself and You as a team. You and i work together, always. The work is evenly divided. I do the hard work and you do the planning. And since You know best You have the best plans up your sleeve. PLans that shall ultimately turn out to be the best for me even though at some point of time they seem like the worst that could happen to me. So, even if I feel things are not going my way, I have to keep doing my bit, that is keep working hard simply coz you are diligently doing your bit, that is planning the best for me.
She has another theory about you. You , I gather, keep something called a 'trump card' for everyone. Everyone. According to Ma, that trump card could be anything; from getting through the college of your dreams to getting the 'bestest' spouse on the planet . That trump card is big.It is that one thing that happens to you that is sooo big for you it could be the grandest opportunity for that person.It then is up to that person to make best use of that trump card. According to Ma, i still haven't got my trump card.No, no,no, this does not mean that I am asking you to give me mine..not at all...I am ready to wait, to work in the meantime..:) * a lovely smile for you, Mr. G.*
So, well..there is lots more I want to talk to you about , but this is after all a public blog, so I think I'll end my letter to you here.It was nice talking to you and I hope you did not mind anything I said. Rest all is fine here. I am doing good ,my family is doing good.
Thank You.
Ruchi.

Realizations....

One whole year gone by...another whole year gone by...just as a gust of the high winds rustles past you as you trek a mountain . It is past me..there is nothing that i can now change ,there is little that i want to change....
There are some forces of nature which one cannot disregard with impunity.I live far from Southern India but the Tsunami affected me...I live a considerable distance from Kashmir but the earthquake affected me....the apocryphal power of His greatest creation could do nothing in the face of His unmitigated fury....thousands and thousands perished and not much could be done other than mourn the departure of innocent lives from this world to the next.....
I have learnt some important lessons. The one that i have not learnt the hard way is the quiet virtue of speaking sweetly and politely.I do it coz i am inherently soft spoken and also due to my upbringing.In my family you are allowed to murder , kill, rob..but no, you can't speak rudely to anyone in the family.So it is ,in a way a habit now...but i have seen its advantages outside.According to Ma, it is the single most important quality a girl should have:D...Things have happened that have made me realise the importance of this....
I have also realized how important good health is .'05 was not very good from the health point of view . Four months ago i got German measles, it is not a big thing ( i just had rashes for about 3-4 days), but till it was not diagnosed ,living with slightly enlarged lymph nodes and with doctors telling me to get them removed (and get a biopsy done on the tissue ) does not exactly ensure a state of unbridled joy.
I have realized that ignorance can be bliss.
I have been amazed at how well i ..err..umm..how do i put this...read whats going on the minds of people i am close to. A small frown, an almost successful attempt at concealing a smile, a slight change in voice that could be coz the person is irritated/angry/tired . Ma gets irritated, she is like 'Cannot i think something without you knowing what i am thinking????':D :D The answer is simple.NO.
:D( See, its a simple thing.Ma has knwn me for as many days as i have known her.) This happens because of my overly sensitive nature, i know that and i wish it were not so . It's liberating to not know what is going through the minds of people around you.It is.
I have realized how important healthy relationships are . I don't have 60 best friends , infact i have few friends, but they are the best on this planet . It is amazing how someone can just listen to you and make you feel better. It is amazing how you can just listen to someone and make them feel better.
I have again realized how important hard work and honesty are. I don't care what the world thinks of me but I do care very much about whatI think of myself.
I have realized that I live according to some principles , I never knew that..quietly, unknowingly they decide which course of action I take. I do not cheat in tests or exams. In a practical exam I wrote the previous semester, we had to answer two 15 mark questions.I knew nothing about one question.No one in class did, but most people had 'pharraz' to help them out. The guy sitting next to me opened his answer sheet for me and asked me to copy everything that he was putting down.I had jotted down around four lines when I stopped, cancelled the entire page and spent the rest of the time on the first answer. I was so surprised at myself..I kept telling myself not be so stupid , it was a 15 mark question! But I did NOT WANT those 15 marks, I just did not! Do not conjure up grand visions of me feeling very grand about it; on the contrary, I felt wretched after I submitted the answer script. I was inconsolable. I called up Latika from college, then Ma..but nothing consoled me....but even today, I am okay with not having cheated then.aah..and the result of the exam? lets just say that i did well.... :)
I have realized that my family, even my extended family is very important to me .


well..these were reasonably abstract things that I have realized during this past year..As each year passes, I find myself mellowing, becoming more sensible, am able to understand others point of view better...in short, I am growing older each year!!!!!!!NAHIIIINNNNNN!!!!

Lazing around..

I am free and very lazy these days...I get up at 5:30 and Ma gets the shock of her life so she gives me a 'arre, beta so jao'look . But no, I read my Hindu (mera Hindu, woh sirf mera hai :D...gosh i am going crazy , so now i am crazy and lazy!!! ), sometimes reread some articles as well, if i like them ...wander around the house, make tea for Ma, have a nice chat with Mum and Dad on the bed only.
Then they leave for their respective morning walks and gym .They insist that i should join them but i am feeling way too lazy to do any kind of exercise so i generally refuse.
I then go back to my room, the house is quiet, sometimes i check my mail, sometimes i check my blog as well, sometimes i check others blogs as well...and then my eyes fall on my bed..it's still not made. So either i can make it or get back into and go off to sleep. I generally choose the latter.
Then i wake up and its a lazy afternoon. I spend most of my time reading.
I am reading Anna Karenina right now..its a thick classic.Thats exactly what i wanted to read.A thick book that has nothing racy. I finsihed Sidney Sheldonz'NOTHING EVER..' day before yesterday..its a typical Sheldon...too quick and racy for my quiet tastes, but i read it nevertheless.
I am also reading a P.G.Wodehouse( yess , two buks at a time!!! ) its way too nice...just love it even though its an ancient copy and i know the buk word by word but i still adore it.
Afternoon melts into evening . Sometimes friends call up, sometimes i go over to some friends place, sometimes i go to this book shop nearby and take a fancy lowchair and sit and read a book( yess, that makes it 3 books at a time!!! ).Am about to finsh 'Diary of Adrian Mole ' this way only ;D Those ppl might throw me out before i actually end up finishing it !.
Other than that...i have been catching up with friends online, sisters living in far off lands, mamaz and mamiz techno enuf to know wat chatting is all about...Its way too cold these days and i wander from this room to that in cotton PJs and cotton shirts ..go to Ma and tell her its sooooo cold!!! You should see her face then.Its worth a million dollars or even rupess or even roubles...
Have started reading business mags as well...they are not as bad, you know...
I am also doing a considerable amount of cooking.I like to cook.Ma and Dad had gone out this one afternoon. By the time they came back i had the whole lunch ready for them.Evrything, right down to the salad!!It doesnt take much time to cook ,neither does it take much effort or anything but still Ma was sooo happy..:)The smile on her face was worth the Kohinoor..They had had their lunch but Dad still ate all i had made! :)
I like such girlie things :( I mean like i am a girl so like i should like girlie things, but apparently its fashionable to say that you cant even make Maggie or boil water for that matter..*deep sigh!* maybe someday i will think cool and say cool things as well. :D
Well, i have written rubbish. If you think so then, wow, welcome to the club! :D
Other than this i have no more rubbish to share with you. I sleep early. So its time for bed now.
Gunite.
and sweet dreams.:)
Ruchi.

A tale of many dacturrs....

I am as 'farjee' an engineer in the making as one can possibly be.I simply don't have an aptitude for all this gibberish (engineers please don't mind). I come across people around me who are doing BTech as well and i can see the difference . Some of them are passionate about electrodes ,some about making websites and yours truly about none. If i do well , once in a while, its just because i can't stop studying till i am satisfied with how my preparation is shaping up.Anyone who studies half as much as i do can do ten times better than me...so like obviously, academic performance is not a criterion to gauge how passionate i am about my work, not atleast in my case.
I come from a family of Doctors..and all of them are so passionate about their work that i cant help but feel very impressed.
My Dad - he takes only a days vacation in the entire year. And unless we bug him too much he works 364 days a year . When he drives me to college in the morning you will find us discussing either the mileage of his car or some patient of his....He loooves is work!!!

Tau ji--Gosh, i don't even know where to begin from ...He is the Head of the Neurology Dept.at one of the biggest hospitals in my State , he leaves for work at 7 in the morning comes back at 9 in the night and then with a mug of coffee in his hand studies till 2or 3 in the morning...

Baba--This 22nd we celebrated his 81st budday:) ,He drives himself to the clinic, each day, without fail (TW).He treats patients at dirt cheap rates now, so like ,at times even if there are just a few patients for my Dad many many more are there for him! At times Dad has to manage Babaz patients to help him out. A couple of years ago, Baba fell ill, he had to be operated upon and it was a very complicated surgery with substantial chance of him not surviving the operation.Both tauji and Dad were there with him at the hospital just before he went for the operation . Seeing both of them there baba looked at my Dad sternly and said"Sir( all three of them call each other that) if you are planning to stay here who will be at the clinic?The Clinic shall not remain closed for the day."
Dad was seeing patients when Baba was being operated upon .

With people like this around , till this day i can't bring myself to tell my Dad that i don't want to go to college coz I am not feeling well....i mean ,obviously they don't let me go if I am not well but I don't say it myself.

So, I grew up surrounded with Doctors and their small little stories... I have sensed the deep gratitude in an unknown voice on the other side of the phone which on realizing that I am my Dad's daughter has showered me with blessings...I have sensed the despair in Dad's voice as he discusses a hopeless case with Tauji..
I have sensed the triumph in their voices as these three men talk about how they saved someone's life...Saving a life....I mean ,what can be bigger than this...At times when I have my Dad's cell with me some one calls.His brother has a bilirubin count of 27( my heart skips a beat coz normally it should be within 1) .He asks me what he should do, I tell him i don't know, He insists , nahiin, aap please kutch bataiye...kya ye thek ho jayenge? I know enuf about body counts now to know that obviously this guys case is way beyond any doctor now but how do I say it?I don't have to coz I am not a doctor but doctors will have to tell him...That's the flip side of this work.
Last night , I made dinner(no, my family is till alive, thank you ).While I was in the kitchen Dad was on the phone talking softly and gently to someone who was obviously crying.He trying to say the last words any father would have liked to hear. Yes, the reports are in.*pause* haan....cancer hai ek aankh mein...no..we will have to remove the eye as soon as possible...no dont think that way..i have many patients who are doing just fine.nahiin shaadi hi sab kutch nahi hoti hai.Your girl will be healthy...but immediate surgery is required...no,please odnt cry, its important that we came to know of it in time......
I was wundering what the girls mother must be going through. The girl is two years old and she will go in for operation 4 days from today...Hell must have broken loose in her house....

This is why the two letters 'D' and 'r' are not before my name and shall never be. I always wanted to become a doctor, i know I would have cleared the entrance tests, but I can't bear to see someone die. I know that I'll feel worse than the closest kin of the patient in case anything went wrong .I know this work is not for me although I think I would have made a passionate doctor...Anyways, My brother is going to become a doctor. He is the cool sorts, he is calm he will make a good doctor..infact I think he will cure half of his patients with his phunny oneliners.
Bhai and me on the fone.
Me: oye, u coming home in Jan???
bhai: naah kahan yaar!!!, btw, kisne bola?
Me(perplexed) :arre, Ma ne bola...
bhai(thoughtfully) : achhca...tab aa jaoonga.
idiot!
So heres wishing the two would be doctors i am very fond of Bhai and Latika, all the best!!! I'm sure both of you are going to rock as dacturrs.
Ameeen.

Sometimes......

Sometimes, we think that the decision that we have made is well thought of and well judged. Things happening around say that to us in a loud and clear voice. We feel that it is time to bring in a few changes.

Sometimes , when we are doing what we had decided ,a tiny voice in our head tells us that this might just not be the rightest thing to do.

Sometimes, we just ignore that tiny little voice.

Sometimes, there is so much negativity around us and such a tremendous feeling of helplessness engulfs us that we misdirect our anger and frustrations on something which although is not the reason for these feelings, is in our control.

Sometimes, some people people try to make us see sense.We refuse to see sense, but the tiny voice is not so tiny now.

Sometimes, someone decides to , in his own nice way, do something about our inane decisions.

Sometimes, others chip in.

Sometimes,people whom we have never met, people whom we will probably never meet end up doing the sweetest things for us. Things ,which make us feel nice and warm even though it might be 5 degrees outside. Things , which ensure that that voice is nothing less than an angry bellow.

Sometimes,it is very easy to admit that our decision was incorrect.

Sometimes ,admitting that our decision was incorrect seems to be the most obvious thing to do.

Sometimes, it is nice to be back.

This time,it is one of those 'sometimes'


You all are way too sweet :)
Ruchi.

ANKITA....

Well..she was one helluva fascinating gurl i met . We used to attend the same Physics coaching for JEE.I had joined a bit late and the classes were weird. The batch used to consist of about 600 students and sir used to teach , with the mike in one hand and pen in the other. Now ,one thing famous about this gentleman was, apart from the fact that he was obviously very good, was that he was the laziest person around.He hated solving sums on board and would invariably have a favourite student in class who would do the sum solving.Gradually,i started getting warning messages from friends telling me that they were sure that the next person to be called to the board was going to be me which ,ofcourse , ensured a couple of nervous breakdowns etc etc. The major problem here was the fact that we had now moved from H.C Verma to books like Irodov and i could hardly make head or tail of the questions leave alone solve them on the board in front of 550 boys.
Then i got to hear about Ankita...The girls used to occupy the front two very long rows, i used to sit at one end of the row and Ankita at the other.News soon travelled to me about what a mini genius Ankita was. Apparently she was moving way ahead of class, had solved most of the Irodov problems and she was pretty much Sir's pet.But surprsingly , she was never called to the board.Well , with the danger of being asked to solve Irodov sums looming large over my pretty much empty head, i went up to her for some help.
Help was promised, she would give me her register where she had solved sums and i could ask her whatever i wished to, but....
But.. could i please sit next to her during the classes? Well, i said yes, coz i had no problems with that.
The next day i sat next to her. Now, Sir had this reputation of asking the tuffest qusetions in class and if you answered him incorrectly, well...then you better be ready for the worst.So, that day early in the morning, Ankita came to me and told me her sob story. Well ,last night had been very bad, and she had had 103 degress body temperature and it had been with tremendous difficulty that she had come for class that day . I got ultra concerned , and told her that she should have taken a days rest . To which she repied that Studies was so very important to her. Although she hardly looked as if she had had 103 degress body temperature , i gave her a 'what noble thoughts!!!' look.Well...she looked a bit uncomfortable as she asked me this:
Ruchi, yaar...if Sir asks me something, plz answer bata dena...
I was only too happy to help her out. So that day Sir asked her a question.It was ridiculously simple, but she stood up and started giving funny answers...Aaah she needs my help, i said to myself, and whispered the correct answer. Sir saw me doing this and was like" arre, Junglee( he used to call me 'junglee'!!!! )tu usse bata rahi hai, chal board par aa"
So, began my tryst with the board ....Finally after screwing up many times, i decided to take Ankitaz help. I had been refering to her register which had everything neatly solved and now finally asked her to lend it to me for a day. While i was studying it , the next day , i saw something very strange.Question no 14 , solved in her register had the follwong statement:
According to figure no. 4.2, we can see that....
and you know what...
there was no damn figure in her copy!

That fascinated me beyond anything. So i called up this friend who had the solutions to Irodov written by Sir, and asked her to turn to Kinetic Energy waala chapter,Question no.14 and asked her to tell me which figure was being referd to. M looked up her copy of solutions and said ..well.... figure 4.2 ko refer kiya hai.why ????

Coz i have just found the biggest cheat on this planet, thats why!!!

But i continued to sit next to her for some more time. Well, she had to treat me coz her Dad had bought a Corsa.I was like, let it be, Ankita, treat me when you buy one ( i can't really stand that my-Daddy-richest crap! ). But no, no, no, i had to come.
On the way a shinning black Mitsubushi Lancer passed us.
Ankita: SEE!!! Thats the car my Dad has bought.
Me:Thats a Mitsubushi???!!
Ankita: haan toh?? My Dad has bought a Mitsubushi Corsa. ahem

Another time, there were tales about how she had got a rank of eleven hundred in JEE last time and how depressed she was when the doctor told her that she could not write the Mains.
Me (concerned): arre, Ankita, doc ne mana kyoon kiya????
Ankita: arre, yaar..mere pair mein fracture ho gaya tha, thats why.
Me: aah...i should have guessed.

Soon, i had had enough of her rubbish, so i just stopped even going near her. One day i was talking to Sir and somehow we started talking about the mental state of students preparing for JEE, when he said this:

ab uss bechaari Ankita ko dekh lo. Itana disturbed rehati hai, padhai ko le kar. Class mein kutch poochon to itana ghabra jaati hai ki bechari answer hi nahi kar paati hai.Baad mein yahan aa kar roti hai.Usse kabhi samjhana, itani hard working ladaki- uska future toh achcha hi hona chahiye
Ankita, a girl with the dubious distiction of probably not even knowing basics like F=ma, had a man who had been teaching students for 15 years considering her to be some sort of a next-after-Newton.
I didnt know whether to laugh or to scream??!!!Gosh that gurl had even made a fool of Sir!!!!!Totally impressive!!!!

The icing on the cake , however, was a conversation with the gatekeeper.One day, after class i was waiting outside for my Dad to pick me up, when i picked up a conversation with the gatekeeper. I had noticed that he and the others used to give special attention to Ankita. She was not made to wait in the line;a chair would be brought out for her, in case she had to etc etc.
Gatekeeper jee had this to say about Ankita.
Kitani bahadur ladaki, Ankita. Kya pata hai aapko, unhe tumour hai. Deemaag ka.Unhone khud batya hume. Kabhi-kabhi toh bahut tej sir dard hota hai. thursday ki class ke baad rickshaw leti hai aur khud ko admit kara leti hai Hospital mein.Fir MOnday ki subah, wapis rickshaw leti hai aur 7 baje ki class ke liye aa jati hai. bahut bahadur hai!

Well, needless to add, Ankita did her JEE equally well that year also (inspite of the brain tumour).She ,according to herself, got a rank of 600 in the prelimnary exam.But,alas ,destiny had something else for her. These IIT ppl,as ineffecient as we all know them to be, messed up her Mains result.She had, according ot herself,done the Mains paper brilliantly.Poor girl, so totally deserving , is spending 4 yrs at some unknown engg. college in some unknown city. When bad things happen to nice and honest people , my heart bleeds for them....I'm sure yours does too.....*sad ,distant look*

TAG COMPLETED!!!
I was tagged a long time back by Shreyansh..My exams , atleast the theory , is finally over and I shall now honor the tag.I wanted to complete the tag when Shreyansh was around but its been a long time since I saw him around, so I shall proceed anyways now.

15 things I wish to do before I turn 40.

1. Start dance once again. You know, I used to be pretty good at it and my Guru ji used to tell me to take it up as a profession. But as the pressure of padhai increased , I stopped dancing, so much so, that I never used to shake a leg during family functions where everyone else was going crazy dancing..but of late , i have been thinking how (un)wise a decision this has been....So, i genuinenly hope to start Bharatnatyam once again.Amen.

2.Live for a month at a stretch in Nainitial. I am crazy about mountains. I am. I am i-should-be-at-a-mental-asylum crazy about mountains.Infact i was telling a friend once that i am the true daughter of the mountains. My father proceeded to give me such a weird look that i had to shut up then....but i am crazy about them. I would love to spend time in Nainital particularly, especially after the rains. Its gorgeous!!! Rent a room somewhere out of the main city,laze around, read, take walks, trek, roam around....it should be atleast a month long stay.I hope i do it.

3. Learn to cook atleast 3-4 different types of cuisines. If you see me , i wont look like a foodie to you. Not at all. Infact you might come up to me and tell me to eat more else i shall vanish sorts..but the fact remains that i am a lover of food. I might not like to eat it so much, but i love to cook food. I just love it! Would love to learn how to make the food that i like to spend a thousand buks on eating at various joints.

4.Visit Leh. I am sorry i should rightfully be mentioning cities like NY city, Paris etc etc..but those places just dont attract me.

5. Have a good job.I have worked too hard on my padhai uptill now and have no intention to slack after this, so I do hope that I have a good job in hand.

hope to have gotten over this major phobia I have of bikes(phatphatiyaz as I call them ). Bhai and NIvindya are the only two ppl whose driving skills I trust and dun feel scared while they drive their phatphatiyaz. No ,not even Dad. He should just drive either of his cars and I shall happily sit in the car...but naah..not on a phatphatiya with him.

7. Have a crush someday and have the guts to go upto that guy and tell him that I do.( okay ,this sounds improbable even a I type it! )

8. Like muujeek. yeah right, go ahead , faint. I dont like music at all!! Pink floyd might as well be a shade of pink for me. But I do understand how nice it wud be to like music. I hope I can begin to like it someday. Right now, I just cant stand it..and I dont even know if I have winamp on my pC or no.

9.Get a real cool hairstyle. By real cool, I mean real COOL!!!!

10. Get married, if I have to ,that is..coz like after 40 toh silly ho jayega!

11. Have kids , if I have to, that is...coz like after 40 toh major med probs ho jayengi.

12. No, I dont want to bungee jump, I dont want to travel around the world, I dont want to ride an ostrich, I dont want to take an exclusive cruise, gosh....I just dont want that many things!!!!

13. I would like to be as much in contact with NIvindya and Latika as I am today. They and their families shall be my extended family. Would like to be very very fond of Bhaiz kids( gosh its just toooo cute to even think about them..if they just look thoda sa bhi like bhai there are gonna be real good looking ones! )

14. Okay this came to my mind first but I saved it for last. I would like to adopt a kid.I don't say I will, coz I dont just want to give the child a mother, but a complete family...if that is not possible I would be happy seing her ( I use 'her' coz like if I adopt, its surely without a doubt going to be a girl!I'll dress her up totally in pink!! pink frocks, pink pom pomz,pink socks,everything PINK!!!!)taken away by some one else who will give her the love of an entire family.The love and care that the dadiz and babaz and naniz and nanaz shower on a child is so impotant for the all round development of a child.

15. If I dont adopt a girl I hope I shall be able to finance the padhaee of some kids who cant afford it.
I so totally hope I can do it.
And no,14 and 15 were not answers I had prepared for some pathetic local beauty competition question round.

DECEMBER.....

Disclaimer : This is not another pathetic attempt at humor..This is just some stuff about something that happened in December a couple of years ago. I shall strongly advice you against reading this.

It is December once again...and once again similar thoughts have begun to plague me ....There was this girl who was part of my extended group of friends in class 12, lets call her M . One day, late in the afternoon, Latika called me up. I still remember the exact words she said to me.
" Ruchi, pata hai kya hua???!!!! M lost her mother yesterday!!! " . I recall Latika's voice, her exact words, where i was at that point of time...what i had been doing ..everything . It was the first time any of this was happening to someone i knew personally.M's mom had been hospitalized for some time in AIMS and she had died that morning coz her aorta had burst..
M had not been coming to school , for one or two days...For sometime she had been making her own lunch and I remember we used to taste it and give our expert comments..I had no idea that her mom was unwell! NO IDEA!!!!! SHE WAS MY FRIEND AND I HAD NO IDEA THAT HER MUM WAS DYING IN A HOSPITAL!!!
I don't remember the rest of the conversation I had with Latika, but then I called up Nivindya , her sister told me that she was sleeping, I told her to wake her up. I could not believe my ears as I gave Nivindya the terrible news. I was just so numb. I don't remember anything of the conversation that I had with NIvindya. But suddenly the Boards were not at the top of my priority list . Gosh , I so totally remember that feeling I had when I heard that news.
I mustered up enough courage to call up M late in the evening. It was so weird. What was I supposed to say ? I had no idea.I just wanted to talk to her . I don't recall ,much of that conversation either but i do remember crying very bad on the phone. I was crying and M was telling me that its alright , everything will be alright...Even then some part of me was wondering at the absurdity of the situation...shouldnt it have ben the other way round? So i kept crying and she kept consoling me.
Gosh, I never knew that she could be so strong . Or as a matter of fact any one could be so strong.I even asked her why she was not crying, she said that she had to be strong for her brother and Dad.
The next day in school was the weirdest of the 14 X 365 days i spent there.I used to study in a Girls' Convent. Christmas was round the corner. The carol the choir sang during assembly that day was:
Joy to the world, the Lord has come.
Let Earth receive her King.
Joy to the world...

I was the Vice Captain of my House which meant that i was not supposed to stand with my class during assembly, instead me plus all the other prefects were supposed to stand next to one junior class assigned to them.I went to class 8-C , told them in a quiet voice that my classmate had lost her mum and i wanted to be with my friends at that morning and would they please be quiet and not attract any teacher's attention during the assembly.By the time i reached where my class was standing for the assembly i could see almost all the prefects standing in line. Almost all heads were bent. The faces that i managed to catch a glimpse of had tears running down their faces as the entire school joined in singing joy to the world
I truly felt that that was the worst ...to sing joy to the world....its such an enthusiatic hymn...so full of life..so happy.....so not for that day.As the school dispersed , i had to stand near the walkway while class after class piled to their class rooms and make sure that order was maintained. I just stood there, numb. It was a pain to even open my mouth to tell some rowdy girl to kindly maintain silence. I was dreading class 8-C's arrival there...coz they were a rowdy lot and since i was friendly with them, they hardly used to listen to me.I knew ,that day, that i could not trust myself to speak more than two sentences without bursting into tears. Class 8-C came. For the firt time each and every girl was in line. For the first time not single girl was talking. For the first time i saw them so somber.
I so totally fell in love with you, girls,in those few minutes.Specially S, when i saw u hit that girl in front of you and hiss a 'Cant you not talk??!!' at her. Thank you for understanding me.Thank you,8-C.I was not trying to be funny when i told you on my last day in school that i really liked you all!
That day was weird.We did not have our practicals...Ms. Kalra our maths teacher did not teach...All three of us went to M's house a few days later. She was calm and composed. Her hair was neatly combed.But it just was not fair!! Her mum was her best friend! She ,apparently, herself had no idea about the seriousness of her mothers illness. You know, mothers are so important. I know they are important for boys, but somehow a girl needs her mother much more. And like loosing your mum and your best friend in one go, just does not seem fair .
The Boards came and went. I dont know M managed it, but she got a 75+% . M was never amongst my close friends, but she was a good friend. However even though we are in the same city we did not keep in touch. After school i have met her just once,at Latika's sister's wedding. It was just so nice to see her all dressed up wearing a i-dunno-know-how-many-crores-worth bindi :). It was nice to see that she was doing okay...
I think of M and her Mum very often these days..maybe it is because it was in December that all this happened. I dunno. All through my exams M has been sauntering in my mind. It's kind of inexplicable. I was talking to Latika this other day and i told her this. And she immediately asked me if i want her number to call her up.
I refused. No ,there is nothing i have to say to M . I just wish her well. I think of her so often and each time all of it seems more unfair. Someday something very nice will happen to you, M. It sure will.

Aao bachchon tumhe sunaye....

Naah! Dont get all charged and excited and tell me that you want to hear a story that has a King and a Queen and a boy who is 6 inches tall. I wont tell you a story no matter how much you might prefer it. I'll tell you how i am doing these days( my exams are going on.) . I keep insisting that i am touched in the head. No one believed me except some ppl who have faith in my judgement. Today i shall tell you how i behave during my exams and you shall be forced to come to me, pat my back, and tell me what sound judgement i have. I know you will . I just know you will...I am having visions of bloggers rushing to me ,wanting my judgement on issues that concern them deeply..i know that will happen. This post is going to be a turning point in terms of how i am generally perceived to be.

I am midway thru my exams and as usual i have been messing them up with such regularity that it fascinates me. ( no pun intented) Totally fascinates me.
Well, lets not talk about that.... you see,some people learn from mistakes made in the past. Some people dont. Specially those who were dropped from the third floor by careless maids...i might have been very lucky to have maids who were too buzy flirting with the postman to pay any attention to me but i do behave like the afore mentioned, very respectable category of ppl .
My exams are so scheduled that i get a days break between each of them . So like each time i come out of the examination hall , having faithfully done my job of messing the paper real well..i tell myself : Ruchi, ghar pahunch aur padhai mein jut jaa. jaa ruchi. jaa.. aaj padhai zaroor achche se karna...is baar paper achcha karna hi hai.
So with these noble thoughts in my mind , i reach home all charged up. Now, aah...TV chal raha hai..lets watch it for some time and then totally padhai. After 3 hrs of tv, its like ...aah...well the exam is not tomm, so like, i guess i can sleep for half an hour and then toh fir only padhai ...with that noble view and golden visions of me studying late into the night in sight i do try to sleep..but alas sleep shall not even dream of coming near me..infact this one time i even pretended to sleep(my inane antics can only be attributed to the -ve 2 IQ points i sadly happen to be the proud owner of .) well...so then , by this time its almost 5... i was supposed to have revised atleast 2 units by this time..but as the case stands..my head is now paining, padhai has not even begun and the exam is not tomm. So... like...hmmm...well...there is that DVD...mybe i should catch up with some movies...A little voice in my head says: Ruchi padh le, padh le...kal pareshan hogi, padh le...
But as you know, I have some problem with my ear..i sometimes dont hear stuff...i cant help it.. its a medical problem.
So, finally at ten after having watched tv, having talked with friends on the phone etc etc...i go to sleep...the alarm is set for 4:00 in the morning..so i wake up at around 7:30 . A friend calls at around 8 and says this:

Aaah..Ruchi..that last unit ,na...yaaar...i cant get that sum on page no 5678..yaar...baaki sab to easy tha par..this chapter , yaar...kaise hoga??? one whole chapter of half a page is untouched..bol na...kaise hoga..tension ho rahi hai.

By this time i am having trouble breathing....Everything around me appears to be moving in weird circles.Is it an earthquake or am i having an heart attack ?
So then i declare emergency.No, i declare an EMERGENCY.i do not take any more calls from anyone else who is tense coz one fourth of a page has not been revised for the two hundredth time.And i start studying.
Aaah...and then i go crazy ...i think that eating is a waste of time,the time taken in flipping the pages is a waste...i dont know wat TV means..i dont want anyone to speak to me...I dont want anyone to enter my room...in the meantime i get a couple of heart attacks...i burst into panicky tears once in half a minute and i study as if my life depends on it...i take my first break at 5 in the evening ..and its a 35 second break...Then i study and i study some more and i study some more...and it goes on and on...till finally i am satisfied with how my preparation is. In the morning i go give my exam...err...sorry i go spoil my exam...and as i am coming out of the examination hall i tell myself this:
Ruchi, ghar pahunch aur padhai mein jut jaa. jaa ruchi. jaa.. aaj padhai zaroor achche se karna...is baar paper achcha karna hi hai.

Some pople just refuse to learn lessons that life sagely and wisely tries to teach them.

HAPPY..:)

I am at my happiest when i am working hard...
I wonder why i am so boringly hard working...
I think that there is something seriously wrong with my DNA or something.
I know that when i was in class 1 and my cuzn was in class 4 ..i used to go to the (now out of use ) servants quarter( my Dadiz house is like real huge sorts..) ..where all the 'kabad' used to be kept, fish for cuzns books...erase all the pencil marks and fill all the exercises on my own again....
I feel that if i was that way in class one dot dot dot.
I hate mosquito-nets.
I hate it when mum shouts at me coz i have not put it up...
I dun like it when Dad doesnt allow me put on ALL OUT/ GOOD NIGHT...
I loove cute pencilz....i just looooovvvvvveee them.
I hate it when my comp crashes , as it does atleast once a weak..i mean once a week.
I need to put on some ear rings or something..other wise....euuukkkksssss it'll pain like hell...
I love cute wollen caps.. even the ones that are in boring colours, even the one i have on right now..which is in brown and black.
I want to catch up on movies.
I want to catch up on reading.
I love P.G. Wodehouse.
I think i would have married Mr. wodehouse if i were born some 50 yrs pahle or Mr. Wodehouse was born 50 yrs later.
I might have married Albus Dumbledore if i were born 160 yrs pahle or Proff Dumbledore had been born 160 yrs later.
I see that my skin in dry..i can scratch D--R---Y on it ...but i will not.
I think my fringes make me look 13.
I did not feel nice when Varun forgot his steps in NACH BALIYE today..
I wish i were not so emotional.
I wish i had curly hair.
I wish i had dimples, most of the times i just have pimples.
I see its 11: 25.
I think i should sleep now.
I have to get up early to study, u see.
I shall say bye now.
I am Ruchi.
I am also brain dead.

hmmmmmphhhhhhh!!!!
Its almost 12 at night and my house is teeming with people and i am very very sick of it!!! I just want one full day when i can study as much as i want, get ultra tired and then sleep...but no , none of it is going that way...there are SO many guests at my place, some cousins hubby+ hubbyz bro +so many more people....and i had to help with loads of kitchen work also coz my mum was not at home....so like i cud not study then either....and i am getting to hear loads of comments like:" arre Ruchi , itani help karayi tumne, hum Hyderabad se tumko khoob dher saara asheerwad bhejenge"
jee kaise bhejenge, courier ya post se?
"arre Ruchi, tumhare begair toh hum kutch nahin kar pate"
etc
etc
yeah...right, say that...when i have just washed so many utensils with cold water!!!
by the way...it was good in way..now in case i flunk in my exams and decide to forget about Btech...i think i'll make great bai! Great alternative career! I neva knew i had it in me!
aah...my mami came just now..and she gave me a bear hug and said"arre Ruchi..itane saare log the , tumne toh moral support badha diya..i hope tumhara jyada loss nahi hua padhai ka"
yeah..yeah...
okay..i'll stop my ramblings now....
my padhai is NOT going the way i want it to..and i think this sem i will not do half as well as i have been doing uptill now..:( but i have no one other than myself to blame.
Bye.
Ruchi.
p.s. had too much of IIM today...at one point of time there were 4 ppl from various iims under my roof...!!
p.s okay..i'll stop acting weird about end sems!!simply coz they are end sems! just end sems.
p.s. in case ur bai doesnt turn up tomm morning dot dot dot.

Deviyon aur sajjano , kahiin jayega nahin--hum hazir honge ek chote se break ke baad! :)

Exams begin from the 12 of December and i should get down to heavy duty padhai-likhai now..hence and therefore a small break from blogging raises its chotu as head. See..if i keep posting even during the 2-3 weeks to come the posts will consist of only 2 things-
1. sob story of much i should ave studied, but did not.
2. sob story of how well i should have done in my exams but did not.

I really like most ppl who read my blog ..so i shall not subject them to such extreme forms of torture...hence with the best interests of fellow bloggers in mind , i shall *tries to look brave* try to stay as away from blogging as is humanly possible . But yess if i take a dayz break from padhai( i know i shall be doing that) and if i am not depressed( kya aisa ho sakta hai question mark) then i SHALL put up a post..but elsewise mah blogz going to be a quiet place for some time now.
But, i shall hopefully continue reading the blogs i follow regularly...so till i finish these senseless end semesters...its Adios time.
Be good, dont fight with adorable sisters, look before you cross the streets, dont rob anyone, dont murder anyone and please, please, please please..do take good care of urselves . * i am going thru the i-love-KBC-phase*
Adios and miss me .
ruchi