Thursday, February 02, 2006

Poorani baatein





"What was the time????"
As simple as that!
I ask ten people and i get ten different answers.I just want to know what time i was born at.I ask Ma and she gives me a 'for-god's-sake-i-was-having-a-baby-grrrrrr' look.
I ask Dad and he says confidently "4:30 in the evening, beta".
I ask Dadi, just to confirm and she says" 11:30 in the morning , beta".
" But Dadi, Papa to shyam ko bol rahe hai"
"Kya??? arre us ladake ko kutch pata rehta hai!!!! Nahin, beta subah hi paida hui thi,tum".
side note: According to Dadi anyone less than 60 years is still a ladka or a ladki depending on their gender.

Me to Dad: "But, Dad, Dadi toh subah bol rahi hain!!!"
Dad:"kya????arre unhe kya pata ,woh bhool gayi hongi!!"

My point here is that not only am i my parents' first born i am also the only girl in the family!! And they dont even remember the time!!!Leave alone the exact precise time, my people cannot even come to a conclusion about what part of the day it was!

Now, obviously many of you are scratching your respective heads and wondering why don't I simply have a look at my birth certificate to confirm!Well, you see, I really can't trust my BC at all.I have no faith in it or errr...them...I have , in all ,two BCs.Let me llaborate.

BC #1.:
This one is the original one. Its nice and must have been a crisp sheet of paper once upon a time, many many years ago.It is a pretty shade of pink .
PINK.
PINK!!!!.

It gives the number of the ward and the room in which i was born. And you know what?? My dad and I, born 30 years and 7 days apart ,both came into this world , in the same hospital,in the same ward ,in the same room.

Room No 7.

My brother born a year and a day after me, breathed his first, on his own, in a room just next door to the one i was born in.:)

BUt now, coming back to the BC.
It is full of not so nice to read things which basically mean very nice to know things like me and Ma doing good.It says that my tongue is pink in colour( as if there was some chance that it could be silver!!), It gives my weight.In ounces. It says that my mother's blood pressure is normal.It also has a capital 'M'in the 'gender of the baby' column.
M.
M!!
M!!!
For the unintiated M in such places means male.
M-A-L-E.
My birth certificate says that i am a male child.

Ahem.


This lead to obvious doubt in my head that i got exchanged at the clinic.The handsome young couple I refer to as Ma and Chacha( for I actually call my Dad , of all things , Chacha!) might not be my Ma and Chacha. The fact that my cousin used to tell me that I was picked up from atop a garbage dumb where I lay crying, with just one arm and no legs , as dogs and pigs ate lunch, breakfast and dinner around me did nothing to help.However, as I so totally totally and totally look like my Dad and Dadi...I am now at peace about that, but at one point of time...there was some serious doubt in my mind.
Hence and there for i do NOT use the original birth certificate.I mean like I can't!!
THis brings us to BC#2.

BC#2 :

This is the birth certificate that I do use.
It is written by my Dad,in the fake capacity as the doctor incharge.
Signed by both Baba and Tauji as senior doctors.

How many of you can boast of birth certificates which are totally'made-in-the-family' sorts??

By the way,when I was born , the first thing my father did was to count the number of hands and legs I was the proud owner of . It came to a grand total of 6, but he reasoned and reasonably so that any excess limbs could be dealt with later.
Jyada theek hai, kum hota toh problem thi.

I shall mention here that right from day one I have had 2 hands and two legs.
Only. Thank you.
I am also a girl. I have been one since the day I was born.Yes, I am sure. Thank you.
I did not get exchanged at the hospital.Yes, I am quite sure here also.
Have a nice day , I hope I will.
Adios.
Moonwalker.

16 comments:

ur better half! said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!HAPPY BUDDDAY!!happy budday..happiiiieeee budday!!!

phew...just a minute!
right then..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! happy budday! HAPPPIIIII BUDDDAY!

:D
hugs+kisses+tonnes and tonnes of love!!
yar..i hope you have an absolutely awesome awesome day!this is your day and on NO account can you do any of the following
1.be sad/depressed/melancholic
2.care about anybody else in the world except your nearest and dearest..including..ahem..yours truly:D
3.any work at all!
4.worry!
5.feel guilty about anything.

this is YOUR day..to shine!
to enjoy each and every aspect of your life..
like i said..hope you have an absolutly great day.
eat a choc cake(bullseye?) and maybe a few(or lots!)momos..hehe
and oh..i will be online today ..so meet me ok?
wow..it really is your lucky day!you get to meet me..ahem..
awrite..dont fume
muah..love you loads.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Raam Pyari said...

nivindya:D:awwwwwwwwww...
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

yaar, when i have a frnd like you wat more cud i ask for !!!
*snif,snif*
I love you!
I love you!!!
I love you!!!!
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!
*muah, muah*
And wedr i rock or no you TOTALLY rock!!!!!!!

//1.be sad/depressed/melancholic

yaar, now wat to say, something or the other def happens.THings start going wrong on the 1st itself:D
But no fear....happy i shall be.:)

suno......pls pls pls pls pls pls, yahan aa jao naaaaaaa

okay!!!! this is neither messenger nor an email so i'll stop behaving in a manner that most ppl shud not see!:D


//3.any work at all!
hehe....its 5 in the morning and i just woke up, and came in my room to pick up my books when i wondered if you had put up my post or no....:D
not been able to study muhc these past few days and an feeling guilty like HELL. so maybe thoda work.

okay now...me beter log off...
see you online tuday, def!!!
and once more.
I LOVE YOU.

i shud also naa, since you are my bettr half.arre wow!!!i can make corny jokes now!;)brrr..okay okay lets shuddup!

thankoo for posting the post( err..that sounds funny!hehe

Suds said...

Sahi hai..:):) hahahah.... Your BC1 has M.... Sahi hai....:):) Good post...

My parents tell me that I was born in my Sangli(my home town) but my BC says Lonavala...:) I like it better anyway..:):)

Shreyansh said...

A very cute post. So it is a common phenomenon .... asking parents about time of birth.
But
//My birth certificate says that i am a male child.

Ahem.//

Ahem .. ahem!!
Ab tumhe chidha sakte hain :))

Reading the comments it seems highly probable that it is your birthday today. So I shall write something(which can double as a budDAY wish) it seems apt right now....(and hey it is not a quote!!)..

Something simple can change your day.
Something simple can change your way.
It's in your heart , not your mind.
It's something good inside you'll find.
Don't forget who you are.
Don't forget you're a shining star.
Happy Birthday :)


P.S.Kids are so cute. :)

P.P.S. I dont live in Bhopal(dunno what made u think I do).But as far I know ( my cousin used to live there) it is a beautiful place as compared to Kanpur. And there are a number of beautiful lakes there. From my friends I got to know that it is also a peaceful place. So if you have a craving for water bodies , Bhopal is a nice place to visit.
Better take a camera along with your novels.
Have a nice time!!

Ankur said...

Many Many Happy Returns of the Day.
I wish all your aspirations come true :)

//The fact that my cousin used to tell me that I was picked up from atop a garbage dumb where I lay crying, with just one arm and no legs , as dogs and pigs ate lunch, breakfast and dinner around me did nothing to help.The fact that my cousin used to tell me that I was picked up from atop a garbage dumb where I lay crying, with just one arm and no legs , as dogs and pigs ate lunch, breakfast and dinner around me did nothing to help.//

hahaha:)
My parents and sister used to say that they picked me from one toffee shop, and they even showed me that shop. Funny thing is I used to believe them. I still have vague picture of that shop in my mind. I cant believe that I was so naive :)

Wish you Happy B'day again
Enjoy!

aMyth said...

Hey, Happy B'day!
Hope you have a gr8.. great...GREAT! day :)

Well, my sis celebrates her b'day today too.

Raam Pyari said...

sudhir bhaiya :aaha...so you have faced a similar bc prob,but u will agree that my prob is greater in terms of magnitude !!
yahan toh gender hi change kar diya!:D

shreyansh: hehe..haan jinna chidhana hai chidha lo!:D
aapka ka gess sahi nikala!!!! aapko milte hain ek crore rupayee!!!!!

okay, i'll shut up. Yess, you are rite, it is indeed my budday today!
thank you so much, shreyansh!
the lines are lovely!!
u r not from bhopal????????? ohmegawd:))
yeh toh drama ho gaya fir!!!i had the impression that u are from bhopal! now i dunno why!!!!
anywayz thanks for ur help!


ankur : thank you Ankur, thank you bherry bherry much:)
toh...hmmm..i c you were picked up from a toffee shop???
hehe!!
thats soo funny!
well i believed it when my bro told me that i was picked up from a garbage dump toh toffee shop toh kinne jyada credible hai!!

amit heylo:) and welcome to my place!
thank you, amit, thank you very much!

ur sis is 2n feb too??? thats a coincidence!wish her a happy budday from my side as well :)

Thank you all for your wishes.You all rock!!!

Koi Pahailee said...

:)

Shriedhar said...

Happy B'day!!!

Sumit Tada said...

Ab to late ho gaya waise,still....Happy birthday!!
It looks like BC arnt very reliable in India,I have never used one! never needed one b4 10th class and uske baad 10th ka certi har jagah BC ki place pe use kar sakte hain.....

ranjan said...

Hellz :)..

Happy buddz...sorry for the delay...had a "freaky" day :)))...

Hv fun and hv the most charmed of lives :)...

And yes, Let the Muzic play :)

Raam Pyari said...

Ms. Mystery : first and foremost since u are from Pakistan, a bherry bherry bherry bherry special welcome :)
arre bhai aapne ek':)' bheja toh with interest dherr saare hum yahan se bhejatein hain:
:) :) :) :)

shreedhar: thank you shreedhar!

sumit : arre not so late either!
THnak you!

Ranjan : thank you:)
HOpe you have better dayz in near future :)

amit said...

happy BDay ...... bahut bahut mubarak ho.... mast raho aur aish karo....:p n do write in how u celebrated this day

nivindya said...

excuse me madam..where were you last nite?
i rang u up at 8:30 and went on ringing intermittently till 10:15..nobdy picked up??

Hiren said...

Look at the bright side. I wouldn't go to an astrologer if I were you. I have seen enough educated people believe in it but am still undecided.

niv said...

yar ruchita
i ws trying to publish ur second post lekin the action is gettin cancelled sayin that there is sme prob wid the servers.
ill try again in the mornin ok?hav already tried like 4-5 times..will try again later theek?