Poorani baatein





"What was the time????"
As simple as that!
I ask ten people and i get ten different answers.I just want to know what time i was born at.I ask Ma and she gives me a 'for-god's-sake-i-was-having-a-baby-grrrrrr' look.
I ask Dad and he says confidently "4:30 in the evening, beta".
I ask Dadi, just to confirm and she says" 11:30 in the morning , beta".
" But Dadi, Papa to shyam ko bol rahe hai"
"Kya??? arre us ladake ko kutch pata rehta hai!!!! Nahin, beta subah hi paida hui thi,tum".
side note: According to Dadi anyone less than 60 years is still a ladka or a ladki depending on their gender.

Me to Dad: "But, Dad, Dadi toh subah bol rahi hain!!!"
Dad:"kya????arre unhe kya pata ,woh bhool gayi hongi!!"

My point here is that not only am i my parents' first born i am also the only girl in the family!! And they dont even remember the time!!!Leave alone the exact precise time, my people cannot even come to a conclusion about what part of the day it was!

Now, obviously many of you are scratching your respective heads and wondering why don't I simply have a look at my birth certificate to confirm!Well, you see, I really can't trust my BC at all.I have no faith in it or errr...them...I have , in all ,two BCs.Let me llaborate.

BC #1.:
This one is the original one. Its nice and must have been a crisp sheet of paper once upon a time, many many years ago.It is a pretty shade of pink .
PINK.
PINK!!!!.

It gives the number of the ward and the room in which i was born. And you know what?? My dad and I, born 30 years and 7 days apart ,both came into this world , in the same hospital,in the same ward ,in the same room.

Room No 7.

My brother born a year and a day after me, breathed his first, on his own, in a room just next door to the one i was born in.:)

BUt now, coming back to the BC.
It is full of not so nice to read things which basically mean very nice to know things like me and Ma doing good.It says that my tongue is pink in colour( as if there was some chance that it could be silver!!), It gives my weight.In ounces. It says that my mother's blood pressure is normal.It also has a capital 'M'in the 'gender of the baby' column.
M.
M!!
M!!!
For the unintiated M in such places means male.
M-A-L-E.
My birth certificate says that i am a male child.

Ahem.


This lead to obvious doubt in my head that i got exchanged at the clinic.The handsome young couple I refer to as Ma and Chacha( for I actually call my Dad , of all things , Chacha!) might not be my Ma and Chacha. The fact that my cousin used to tell me that I was picked up from atop a garbage dumb where I lay crying, with just one arm and no legs , as dogs and pigs ate lunch, breakfast and dinner around me did nothing to help.However, as I so totally totally and totally look like my Dad and Dadi...I am now at peace about that, but at one point of time...there was some serious doubt in my mind.
Hence and there for i do NOT use the original birth certificate.I mean like I can't!!
THis brings us to BC#2.

BC#2 :

This is the birth certificate that I do use.
It is written by my Dad,in the fake capacity as the doctor incharge.
Signed by both Baba and Tauji as senior doctors.

How many of you can boast of birth certificates which are totally'made-in-the-family' sorts??

By the way,when I was born , the first thing my father did was to count the number of hands and legs I was the proud owner of . It came to a grand total of 6, but he reasoned and reasonably so that any excess limbs could be dealt with later.
Jyada theek hai, kum hota toh problem thi.

I shall mention here that right from day one I have had 2 hands and two legs.
Only. Thank you.
I am also a girl. I have been one since the day I was born.Yes, I am sure. Thank you.
I did not get exchanged at the hospital.Yes, I am quite sure here also.
Have a nice day , I hope I will.
Adios.
Moonwalker.