Monday, February 20, 2006

Nazaar lag gayi!!!!

Kise??
Arre, baba, mujhe!!!!


Now i am not someone who believes in all this rubbish(for thats what it is!)but well.....hear me out.
We went to MP cuz my father had to attend some All-India-rubbish-conference so this one day..just hours before we were to leave for Gwalior, I was sitting on the steps of Minto Hall , the venue of the conference in Bhopal, waiting for Mum and Dad to arrive.

Switch over to the railway station.

I am perfectly healthy and all and am busy staring at this twenty something Punjabi girl cuz her tights were too tight!! Now ..now ..dont get ideas and all...In my defence any one would have!they were tooooooooo tight , man!
Ma nudges me.
pata hai....jab tum stairs par baithi thi , toh for a moment i wondered who this cool gal is...u were looking good, beta.
I give her a ooh-wow-!!!-a-compliment look
Let me add here that my mother has some problems with distant vision and she does not wear specs.But on times like this i prefer to ignore such teeny-weeny insignificant details....*casual look*

Two minutes pass.

ACHHHHEEEEEE!!
ACHHHEEEEEEE
ACHHHHEHEEEEEEEEEEE

Ten minutes pass. Shatabdi is 2 minutes late or something.My head is ready to burst with pain!

15 minutes pass.
My eyes are red.My forehead is hot. I have fever.

During the one hour journey from Bhopal to Gwalior I busy myself thinking about how i wud like to murder everone in sight.The copy BT which graces my hands is sometimes a knife, sometimes a revolver ....phew!
ny the time I got down the train, i got this tiny feeling that there is some kind of a n ulcer in my mouth, right where this crooked tooth would continuously hurt it....hmmm....

We stayed with an old friend of Dad who also happens to be an eye surgeon. they were very very hospitable and tried their best to keep us engaged during the day. But me, poor , poor me.....no life left at all....could hardly take in the historically important city with as much enthusiasm as i felt for it. The only time i perked up was when we drove through Scindia school...:D I had never been inside an all boys boarding school before , so well...that was the only time i was vaguely alert!

Now we came back home , in one piece ..err..i mean in 3 differnt pieces, the fever was not there,no cold,but...
(this word 'but'...*deep sigh!!* )
that teeny little ulcer had become the biggest thing i had ever seen in my entire life!!!!
My mum is one of those ppl who do not believe that headaches exist. She 'll look at you sadly and say," i think, its brain tumour"

Right hand paining???
"heart attack!!!!!"

khansi aa rahi hai???
"pneumonia!"

Simple as that.
So, you have an ulcer thats here to stay types??? "MOuth cancer!" was be my mother's verdict!
simple as that!!

My Dad's the complete opposite, go to him with a report that says that you are going to die in 3 days cuz u ahve some dreaded form of cancer and he'll look at you and say a cheery" arre, no tension!! fruits khao, active raho...sab theek hojayega"!

Anyways coming back to my ulcer.That wretched thing made my life hell!!! I could not eat, could not speak(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) , could not smile, could not drink water, could not yawn...grrrrrr...could not even use a big spoon!!!
Now add to that the fact that i was eating something like two spoonfuls of rice with dal and nothing else in an entire day, obvio my health would fall naa??!!! Like isnt it obvious???!!!!
I ahve some aunties who inspect me each time they come. They grade me on 3 things.
1. Complexion.
2. Weight.
3.Proverbial glow on the face.

I lost 3 kgs in 4 days.I turned about 3 shades darker in 4 days and the elusive glow well...remained elusive.
How i totally dreaded their visit should it happen.i knew exactly wat would come out of their too-red mouths the moment i would enter the drawing room !!!
But thankfully none of them graced us with their presence!*thank you God for these big things!!!love you!*
But I was scared that one of them might turn up!!! gosh!!!!

Anyways , ultimately , even my dad got a bit tense, mainly after he saw me take about one hour to finsh about two tiny spoonfuls of rice . So he got me Oracep!

Do you know pain ? Unadulterated?
I know it now!Man!! That Oracep!!&^%%@@#@@!@!##$%^^&&%$#@
the moment i would put that slimy thing on my ulcer my whole being would be consumed with one and only one thing. PAIN! searing, unadulterated , unyielding, vicious pain.
the kind that blocks out evrthing , the kind taht leaves you breathless.

I dont know myself , really. When i am hungry, i dont realise that i am hungry. I go to Ma and tell how nice Chowmein is, or how yummy bulls eye is..and she gets the picture and makes me gobble up unintersting rotiz and sabziz!!So i never really realised how much of pain i was in while i put that medicine till i caught Ma looking at me.The look on her face said it all and I immediately looked in the mirror to see a breathless me, lips white with pain.
hmmmm....
Anyways, Oracep worked wonders and now i am back to normal.
I think it'll take me one /two days to put on the lost few kgs but other than that me doing good!!

yesterday me and Ma were talking.Actually no...well..Ma was trying to sleep in my room while i was studying, both of us were on the same bed.So i crawled up to her, took out my pen and made a huge dot on her forhead.
Ma growled " yeh kya kar rahi ho??!!!!!!"
" ab tumhe nazar nahi lagegi", I said angelically.
Ma( she has no respect for the love i ahve for her) :Stop it or ab pitegi!!!!
All remains silent for some time. Ma tries to sleep again. I look at her bare hands, ab hands ko nazar lag gayi toh???
I put this huge dot on her hands.
Ma( totally irritated) : stop it aur ab i'll start!!!
Me: arre, meri nazar lag jaati tumhare haath ko??, i had to put this dot, mera farz tha *beatific smile*
ma: arre bachchon ki nazar nahi lagti Ma ko.
Me: Ma ki bhi nahi lagti!
Ma: ma ki sabse jyadah lagti hain. Remember ,you fell sick miutes after i told you that you were looking good!!

HHHMMMMMPPPHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

13 comments:

niv said...

hehe:)
sucha sweet post.aaah..enjoyed readin it.
u lost 3 kgs??oh God..u must hav vanished by now! i hope ur fine fine fine now! nd can eat as much maggi as u want..
:):)

!xobile said...

hahahaha
hahahahhaha
hahahhaha
hahhahaha

mast post yaar
max wala mast tha.. Errrr I mean hai..

ab toone aise mazaakiya tone mein likha hai kee tere dard pe bhi hasi aa rahi hai though I know hasna nahi chaheye :(
but the best is "arre, no tension!! fruits khao, active raho...sab theek hojayega! hahaha
ahahah
yaar tu badi chapaating hai..
mere to bas ka nahi.. ab chapaat tu hee rakh le.. seriously
bye

ranjan said...

Hehe :)..

My two points of concern :))..[afterall theek toh aap ho hi gayi ho naa :D]

//am perfectly healthy and all and am busy staring at this twenty something Punjabi girl cuz her tights were too tight!! //

//The only time i perked up was when we drove through Scindia school...:D I had never been inside an all boys boarding school before , so well...that was the only time i was vaguely alert!//

India kahan jaa reha hai :P, focus grrl focus :)))

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

HAHAHAHA. *Pauses to catch breath* HAHAHAHAHA. *Pauses again*
LOL...sowwie...I know laughing at someone's misery isn't nice but then, your post was FUNNY! :P

I had never been inside an all boys boarding school before , so well...that was the only time i was vaguely alert!
Hehe...yeah, happens in my school too, during Christmas season when we have carol singers from a boys' school as participants in the competition. :D Not that my school doesn't have guys...it's just that the grass...oops, I mean, guys...are greener...oh, better...on the other side. :P

You mom and dad's attitudes towards illnesses are SO contrasting and SO funny!
"arre, no tension!! fruits khao, active raho...sab theek hojayega!"
HAHAHAHA!

Sumit Tada said...

Hmmm it reminded me of my earlier days when me and my sister used to catch cold/fever/bad stomach very frequently. My mom used to say "tum jitna 3-4 months mein khate ho, woh saara tum 3-4 din mein kharab kar dete ho"
Btw, how could you gain 3-4kgs in 2-3 days? i will like to be on this weight gaining spree for 2-3 weeks!!

Suds said...

Thank god u are fine now. Nice post...:)

Shreyansh said...

:D

Ur dad's attitude is too cool. Hats off!!

Take Care.

niv said...

yar come bak to the internet world..itz v.v.soona here.:(

latika said...

oyyyyeeeeee.......
i am back.....with a bang.....
BANG
aunty ki clinic badhiya chalegi..... hum dono partners ban jate hain!
and next time if u ever have a mouth ulcer, try "tatum mouth wash' works wonders.... tried and tested.

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