Tuesday, January 30, 2007


Threateningly huge yellow flames-an image that will haunt her for the rest of her life- was the last thing that Maria saw before she collapsed onto the floor of her burning house.

Maria tried to open her eyes but she could not. It was too much of work and anyways her eyes would not open.She stopped the on going war with her eyelids as she became aware of other things around her.There were parts of her that she could not feel and there were others where something terrible had happened.Excruciating pain would erupt without a warning and she would scream hoping someone would come and just do something.

Then , in some time the pain became too regular or maybe Maria had too little energy left to scream so she lay there moaning painfully.

There was that distinct smell of spirit, there were voices around her, she could hear people walking by .Why wouldn't somebody help her.She tried to scream for help but there was little energy left.

Victor County Hospital.The doctors never lost an opportunity to tell anyone who would listen that they dealt with over 200 patients each day with resources and staff not sufficient for even a hundred.There weren't enough beds, there wasn't enough medicinal supply , patients were poor , nurses irate .Most young doctors came here because they had no choice.All of them left gladly when the compulsary interships came to an end, thankful to have gotten out of the gutter that was called Victor County Hospital.

Nurse Irene stood behind the desk. She kept hoping that the Indian doctor's shift had come to an end for only then would the quiet doctor come to her and sign the register.
Nurse Irene ,45,as usual , could not take her eyes off Dr. Dixit's tall, broad frame approaching towards the desk. She,like most of the nurses at the hospital,was fascinated by the young Indian doctor. He was obviously a mini genius ,his credentials proved that. Why he had chosen VC hospital for his internship when Harvad was an option , no one could figure out. What everyone could easily figure out about the dimpled doctor was that he definitely had a way with patients.And his hands worked wonders.

Dr Samvat R. Dixit, passed a hand through his already dishevelled hair.It had been a long and hectic shift;he had not slept for the past 30 hours and the 5 hour break meant atleast 4 hours of sleep.
As the doctor looked about while Nurse Irene clumsily fiddled with the many registers on the desk, his eyes fell on a young girl, burnt and bruised, on the floor near one of the wards a few feet away.

"Mexican girl, house burnt down, neighbour saved the girl's life, we dont have enough beds, you see, nothing can be done till tomorrow morning, we have given her the painkillers but they wont be of much help,eyes have been badaged so she cannot see, she has to bear the pain , no one can do anything about it,you see.'
Nurse Irene never lost an opprtunity to speak to Dr Dixit.

A case of burns, lying on the floor , a groaning , moaning bundle of flesh.

From where Samvat stood, he could see that the face was disfigured, one hand was almost blackened while the other looked alright.The girl looked scared ,her eys were bandaged with gauze and tape ,she was alone and was obviously in great pain.As Dr Samvat looked at her, Maria ,in the throes of extreme pain once again groaned louder than ever and extended her good hand , as if hoping someone would hold it.

The pain was becoming unbearable.If only someone would be with her.If only someone would tell her it was going to be okay.

"Will you tell me your name?", a kind voice asked.
Maria , delirious, extended her hand murmuring something incoherent.The warmest feeling of reassurance engulfed her as her good hand was clasped between two large, soft and strong hands.
"It will be okay...dont worry, do you hear me?"
Maria groaned a yess.
"Just this one night, we will get you a bed in the morning, just bear it for one night"

Maria , never believed that the neighbour saved her life. It was the voice and the hand that saved her, she would often say later.
Maria would always say that the Hand held hers for a long time.She will never be able to recall that her hand was held for 5 long hours till the wee hours in the morning when the doctor concerned finally arrived.

For the next three months Maria stayed at the VC hospital; always hoping to catch the same slighlty accented voice.Maria underwent four operations during that time; 3 on her face and one on her hand yet the only thoughts in her mind during those 3 months were those of the man who had held her hand that night .A stranger was with her when she most needed someone.

A day before Maria was to be discharged from the hospital, she stood in the gardens outside the hospital looking at a group of young doctors. Apparently one of them, the Indian one,had finished his internship and was leaving.The doctors were a cheerful lot, much unlike the serious ones they were inside the hospital building.

As Maria was about to leave the younsters and head inside she suddenly rememberd something.
Was not the Indian doctor the same guy who had twice or thrice visited her quietly just before and after some crucial surgeries.
He had never spoken but had just looked at her clip board to assess her situation, would smile at the attending nurse and leave.
It had seemed strange then but she never gave it much thought.But at that moment , something struck and she inched closer to where the doctors were standing.

Doctor Samvat R Dixit, who had in a rare demostration of loquaciousness been positively verbose during those couple of minutes waited till his friends were gone and then turned to leave .
ON doing so he stopped in his tracks.In front of him was a girl , with a queer expression on her face , tears flowing uncheked.
Not a word was spoken by either of them.
The girl quietly, smiling in between tears, extended her hand.
A warm, strong hand clasped Maria's as tears of gratitude continued to flow unabated.

Deemagi halats not theek hoying.isilye ekta kapoor type drama likhing!
bye bye hoying!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I know I disappear from blogospere with a regularity that surprizes even me.
In my defence I have to say that although I am online for the better part of the day, it is with the GD/PI prep that I find myself busy with.

At times I find myslef having a good time with all this but then having faced so many rejects it gets scary when my mind wanders to that day when[if it hapens this way only] I shall come face to face with another reject..I dunno.. I try to keep that out of mind..coz mebbe that is what is called as 'negative energy' and one should stay as away from it as possible.

Anywayz..in the past few days I almost got married!!
Apparently this is supposed ot be personal but I dont find it personal at all...[okay , I am weird, hence proved] but then imagine me [ME!!!!!] talking to some IITian with some Mtech degree working with Microsoft in the U.S of A giving him gobe like 'errr well you see, I really have not thought about marriage at all right now, MBA is such a big dream for me, I do want to study blah blah blah'
I have actually done that..gosh it was bloddy weird.
What happened was that the guy's dad spoke to my Mum and then the guy called and then I was made to speak to him[!!!!!!!!!!!! aatyachaaarr]
so, there I was, least interested in him, using the very useful excuse of MBA , stalling the inevitable.
The guy was some kind of phd in globe as well!!! Toh he gave me gyaan on how much beter it will be for me to do my MBA from one of the top instis in the USA etc etc

Well..it was funny, and in my own way I made it very clear to him that I was genuinely not intersted.

So, that came to end.
But it was funny I would go to Mum and continoulsy threaten her with suicide if she took matters any further.
Anywayz... for the time being things are okay..and no I am not getting married[jeeez mannn yeh sabb kya drama hota rehta hai!]
abhi me goes back to GD/PI work..
need to get thru MBA *sgh*
aatyachaars on abla naari!!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

An apology.

Sometimes misunderstandings happen.
Most of the times they remain as such .
It is only very rarely that you end up discussing what happened and are actually able to clear the doubts both of you have.

Specially people like me.Whenever I am hurt by something I get angry and am heart broken and all that but it is only very rarely that I actually tell the other person what hurt me or why I reacted the way I did.

The incident that I am going to narrate here is a small one but has to be spoken of.

So I had to fill the 15 page IIFT CV form. Having never written anything like that I was at a comlpete loss and had no idea how to go about it.So I called up a friend of mine and asked him to help me out. Which he did. We spoke at length , discussing all the questions that had to be answered. Some of the answers that I had decided on ,on my own, were ruthlessly rejected and much better answers provided.
Others , to which I had no clue were answered and so on.
Ultimately there were two questions which remained and my friend asked me to write them properly and mail them to him. He promised to go through them .

Which is exactly what I did. Now my friend happens to be some big hot shot in some big company and attends 8 hour long meetings, so I knew that being the busy guy he is it might be difficult for him to give my sop much time.
Anyways I waited for his reply...which did not come for the next 36 hours.
When it did , it was a tiny e-mail [with my document attatched]wherein he asked me to reduce the number of words and improve the punction[ random stuff which I thought anyone could have suggested without even going through the sop]. He also added that he wuold have reduced the size of the sop himself only if he had some more time.

Funny things anger me and funnier things hurt me.
Somehow , this was one of them.
So I deleted him from my yahoo messenger friend list[:P] and decided I would never ask anyone for any help .
I also made philosophical comments to other friends about how it is ultimately you yourself who has to do all the work; you can never ask/ expect any help.

So there I was angry and hurt..but as it is against my policy to tell anyone about what is actually going on in my head ,discussing the whole thing with Friend was not even an option.

Today, however we had a talk.
Somehow our conversation[ I had been giving him the cold shoulder till then the sad asar of ekta kapoor and her serials] moved to my sop.
A few minutes later I found myself quickly opening my mail again.I opened his mail, opened the attatchment and read it.
There was my SOP, completedely transformed ,a 100 times better, sitting there smiling a smug smile at me.

I had jsut read the email and had not even opened the document.And my frined had actually spent one and a half hours working on my SOP from 12:30 in the night to 2.And believe me the effort was visible in the transformation of my SOP from a average one to a very well written one.
However , my crappy CV form had already been sent by the time I finally read the attachment and the edited version stays smug in my folder ,a reminder of how different reality can be from how we perceive it to be.

As part of my 'sazza' for having been an idiot I have been asked to blog about it:P and hence the post.

I hereby apologise to my friend.
I apologise for having thought wrong of you.
I apologise for not taking up the issue with you and clearing it out.
I apologise for having been an idiot.

Sholly sholly sholly sholly.Sholly sholly sholly sholly.Sholly sholly sholly sholly.Sholly sholly sholly sholly.

And on this apologetic note I rest my case.

p.s. Always check your mails for attachments.

Friday, January 12, 2007

So, my head is basically full these days..
Infact is overflowing..
At nay point in time there are sooooooo many things that have to be done.

CAT was a disaster.
Verbal proved to be my nemesis :(
I can probbaly create a blog dedicated to CAT but will let that be..apart from that 4 results hae ben declared. Have calls from 3of them. The one exam i have no calls from is the exam i spent hours slogging for
As they say, life indeed is funny.

no creative juicies flowing.
Headache hoying.
ab hum challing!