Sunday, July 30, 2006

A letter...

Dear Mr Blog,

This day, one year ago, I started blogging out of sheer boredom.Bhai suggested that I should try blogging to kill time and here I am , one year later, typing this post at almost one o'clock at night , even though I am terribly sleepy[yesss, people, am back to my khumbhakaran ways]...
Sometimes I wonder what I had expected out of this blog and how much of it I got!
For the first part of the question, I expected nothing.
And for the second, and more important part, I found soooooo many friends.

And the funny thing is 'people' per se were the last thing on my mind when I started blogging, I had no idea that there is a parallel blogistan out there..

Its funny how through you , I have managed to peep into the lives of so many share their inner most thoughts, to see, that afterall, all of us are so very alike...

I myself have been a queer is here that I am the most honest..and hence the most vulnerable. A couple of frineds here might think that they do not know me...okay they do not know that I have a weird nose or that I have crooked yellowish blackish teeth [I have managed to keep some secrets from them, you see*wink wink*] but in reality they know me better than most people I know in real time(gossh!).

I have thrown tantrums, sulked, bugged blogger friends, threatened them with closing down this place[ yh! right I am supremely vain and conceited, thats another secret!]..and what not..but you know Mr B, they have all taken it...
They have pampered me in many more ways than they think they have.They have listened patiently to me ranting and raving...tolerated my outbursts and what is more, have actually tried to calm me dowm.
Have actually tried to make a thoda sa silly, thoda sa stupid girl they have never met and most probbaly never will either, see a little bit of sense...

And you know what,more often than not, they have been succesful...
So, here, Mr B are some of my dearest blogger time strangers who have slowly, quietly and stealthily become a part of my part life :(In no particular order)

I will start with Niv( who is a part of everything I am a part of.Here is to many many many years of friendship.cheers!*clinks doodh ka gilass*

It is funny how many sishetrs and brothers I have acquired over this past year...
It started with Sudhir bhaiyya(, then came Praddy prajji( , a big time geek , whom , I dunno why, but I started refering to as 'prajji'...Praddy prajji sounded cool and prajji now he is !:)

There are sishters in the picture as well..another of my nautankiz began with singafuuriya bahin( blog is now a staple diet for me...I visit it so often and am so amazed and thankful for the frequency at which she churns out posts....I dun even remeber how we started with this bahin-bahin nautanki , but ultimately we actually ended up calling each others mum and dad, mausiji and mausaji!!!!heheh..And you Mr B, Miss,S rocks!! totally!!

Then there is Aarti di( I have met her only recently but she is so terribly sweet that it is impossible to not like her . She also happens to be the only person on this planet whom I refer to as 'di '..I dun even address my real life cousins with that..It is only arti 'di'.:)

Then there is Moneyraj Singh India(, who is like a brother to me.But he is also a supremely shilly boy!!!Very very shilly..will get angry at me for shilly things...will keep on insisting that he wont talk to me[shilly boy hai na woh, isiliye]He happens to be 2 years younger to me, but have a luk at him explaining stuff to me, asking me to be calm, trying to sort out my shilly rpoblems and you wud wounder who the older one is.... :)

That also brings me to Abhi( His was amongst the first blogs I started reading..Yeah! yeah! eveyone knows Abhi is a funny guy who can make electric poles laugh..but he also happens to be a very sensible guy.His calm, sensible advice never fails to make sense .Extremely popular coz of his sense of humour, I like him better for his sheer common sense.[that does not prevent me from laffing my lungs out while reading his posts!]

And then saunters in Mr Kant( . I do not know any other person with whom I have fought with so many many times in such small a span of time. We fight and we fight and we fight..and then we take a break and then we fight some more! :) Unfortunately, Mr K happens to know exactly what should be said to get me seething angry one moment and in the pleasantest of moods the very next moment which makes fighting with him very difficult for me!*sigh!followed by a determined 'main-padhungi-likhungi-dacturr-banongi-type-of-a-luk, *

There is Sumit( a very regular reader and a not so regular blogger!!!Another geek in the making*sigh!*

hawwwwwwwwwww!!! HOw could I not tell you about my beti!!!!!!Creepu beti!!!!!!!!!chee cheee..kais hu main!!! Well..thats creepu beti for would not know her,Mr B coz she does not blog but nevertheless, is a good friend and a sweet young girl who visits you very regularly.

Then there is Shreyansh( who is amongst my pooranest readers.My posts are either hyper happy or hyper sad or in they are always hyper..His, on the other hand are always calm.One can almost sense the calm brain riting that stuff..Thats why I like his blog.His posts are completely opposite to mine..and almost therapuetic.Granddd!! after bhais and behens,I now have found therapy through you as well, Mr B!!!:D
It is funny how someone can be just another new blogger one moment and 'OHMEGAWWWWWDDDD-he-is from-my-school!!!!!!!!!!!' the next followed by a 'OHHHH,YYYYDOUBLE GAWWWDDD-he-is-from-my-House-as-well' the very next!.That is exactly what happened with Fellow Martinian( and me:)There are somthings that make you feel at home with some poeple in a nanosecond.Being fom the same school(though diff cities and diff batches,most probs) is one of them:)
Hail Hail the name we own!:)

and now now now now....the list can go on and on and on and on and it is almost two..
This has ended up being a very long letter but I just wanted to tell you a little bit about the many people I have met through you,Mr B.

It has been a nice one year.
I do not think my likhane wale skills have imporved one teeny bit..infact they is indeeds detereoratd but I have met some wonderful people thru you.
Thanking you,
Yours sincerely,

P.S. ooopppsss, I forgot to wish you!!! Happy budday!!!!!!

P.S--Hopefully lesser drama this year;)

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Restless once again......

I have loads of padhai planned for today..infact I should have been studying right now, completing that exercise on quadratic equations...but here I am, restless once more...

Things for me are terible right now...I am the most restless I have ever been...
Last night I went to bed at 11 and was up till 2...and this never happens to me...Then I asked Mum to come and sleep with me but that was of no use either..My legs started paining like hell...I got two of Mum's duppattas and wrapped them tightly around each of my legs..but that did not seem sufficient..then I got another two...
I dunno when I went to sleep..
I dunno..
Maybe I am too stressed these days... everything seems so much like a burden..
Mum is very concerned as I have positively stopped eating..
I am concerned coz I have stopped sleeping..
And there are only two people on this planet(me n Mum) who are catually bothered about anything that happens to me...

Everything seems so oppresive these days...I often find myself breathing heavily hoping for more air..
Dunno whats wrong...

It is surprizing how weirdly lonely things can be...I mean..well..whatever..
I hate frowning and most of the time thats exactly what I am doing..frowning...

I need to start eating properly.
I need to start sleeping properly.
I need to start breathing properly.

But..I cannot stand the sight of food, sleep doesnt come to me and deeps breaths are the order of the day..
I hope this phase vanishes quickly as I hate being as terribly unhappy as I am these days...

p.s.- I am disabling comments, not becoz I do not value what you guys have to say..but coz I have simply no energy to defend anything .

Thursday, July 27, 2006

BEWARE: Arbit rubbish ahead...

It is 11 :35 right now and I am not sleepy..
I have changed my strategy for is very much about quality studies now..I am studying for 6 hours with maxx concentration...add, mebbe an hour of approx--6-7 hours of work...
Tomm is going to be a hectic day..have to get something done about the project thingy...I just went there twice!
Can you beat that??!!!
From what I can gather ,my company has improved it's pay package by a considerable margin , so if it is indeed true then ..well...the starting salary is not all that bad ...
Bhai doesnt see nay reason why I should not work right now..
It scares me like hell to think of this time next year..
Might have to leave for Pune..It scares me so bad ..gosh...I dont want to go...I really do not....I mean not like go and sounds so grown up and all....
I mean I would love to go to a b skul..but work?? no..I do not wnat to....
I dunno if I will be able to manage on my own...I mean I know I will be able to but I do not want to..I dunno and mebbe I should not care...
I hate this thing about myself..I think sooooooo much about everything!
Dadi might be having some heart problem....that is scaring me ... sometimes evrything seems so big....
I have stopped getting so bugged up about what I score in those weekly thingies!duh! AIMCATs yaar!
I mean -this is gonna be my strategy---am just going to work and not be bothered about what will ultilmately happen...I will be okay..I know...Everything will be okay....Even if I do not pull off the skul thing, then too I will be okay....I hope I manage something like MDI or something...
The people I know, who are not preparing for any competetive rubbish(read billi) are having a grand time...partying..meeting up with friends and all that blah...
Wait a sec!!!!
why am I cribbing about that!
cus like I am not even a party person!
I hate most parties..they are so terribly fake..I think the largest party I have ever thrown has included three poeple!
I see no point in loud music and wild dancing and loads and loads of people..I hate it!
And I hate all those stupid aunties who have to kiss me!!!!!!!
I hate it!!!!!!!!! and I cannot even say anything..!!!!!!cos they are either MOm's best friend or Dad's friend's wife!
I have noticed this about women who only have sons...they really dunno what to do when around a girl..
A coupla days ago, Mum's friend had come over..shes the sorts who have to settle my hair, who will hold my hand stare at my fingers in case I am sitting next to her and who say thiongs like" isko dekh karr lagta hai, jaise chuoge toh gandi ho jayegi"..yeah! yeah! believe it or no, I have taken all this crap from a lot of poeple!!!
Mum explains..that this is coz I look thoda seedha saadha types and all that...but still say whatever you wish to just to me and not infront of soooo many poeple..I mean I feel like some heroine of some Ekta Kapoor serial when somone says this kind of stuff..
And its not like I actually am terribly delicate types...
I am a very noraml looking girl and need to be treated with respect and not have aunties settling my hair and fingering my ear rings all the time...

There is this other aunty who has a son( who happens to be the root a potentially huge problem, uffffff..I hate guys!!!!) and a she came over some time back , took my hands in her hands , stared at them for some time and started crying...
"isko dekh karr mujhe meri beti yaad aa jati hai"( her daughter is in B'lore and is about to have a baby)
yeah and you know what I said to that!
" arre aunty, mein bhi toh apki beti jaisi hoon"
yeah ! yeah! I actually said that!I do this kind of in I say filmy stuff to filmy poeple..
The aunty in question cried buckets and even Mum was quiet exasparated and has forbidden me to enter a room when she is there specially if my arms are bare!

She says things like" bete, aap janati hain, hum aapse kitna pyar kartein hai??"
(yess!!! yess! she actually says that!)
and you know what I reply to that!
[with a huge smile]" aunty, kya aap janate hain hum aapse kitna pyaar kartein hai?!"
Its just that I love acting all Ekta Kapoor type..
We are both so sugary sweet to each I am to some aunties...It is entertaining in a away...infact very entertaining...

My Mum has forgotten how to serve food, thats my duty like Mum does all the work and then she sits with the guests and I bring in evry thing..
So most poeple think..that not only am I a gud student but am also a 'sarv gud sampann susheel kanya" the kind it is difficult to find in this day and age...
but *exasparated luk*
I am none of that..
I think I am supremely lazy and can be very stubborn..its just that I get tired of being known as the nice girl..always..
Cuz I can be a very bad person...I mean some times I hate myself for a number of things and I just wonder why most poeple cannot see thru me!

but well...the only thing .i am glad about is that I am not bringing home leading a clean life based on certain principles and values...that is the only thing I am glad about....just dont want my family to be ashamed of me..its okay if they are not proud of me..but it will be so not okay if they are ashamed of me ..if I do something that they do not approve of...gosh..I hope that never happens..
yess yess
as you can see, I am a mum-and-dad-bhakt!!!I have so independent streak in me, there is no rebel in me--just lemme study and I shall be happy, I am not opinionated..I take shit from people,I can be painfully shy, I am big time maggoo , I do not have smart ass comments....

and going with the mood of the latter part of the post...
sab mil ke bolo!
Mom ki jai!!!
Dad ki jai!!!!


hehhehe, shorry about the crap:D but just felt like talking crap...if you were a very gud friend ,on the fone with me right now..this is exactly what I would have said to you:)
And it would have been an hour long conversation!!!!

P.S. Am reading Anna Karenina , a post on extra marital affairs..(the main issue in the book) later..:)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


This time it is Aarti di( who is behind this.....lemme be a good girl and honour the tag!!!!!

I am thinking...
about B-School :D , what else re!!!

I said...
I am what I am coz of my Mum , the good and the bad..Everything!

I want...
To travel to Denmark, Poland, spend some time with myself and try to quieten the noise go to the hills...

I wish...
I were a guy and then I would , in a couple of years ,have atleast 5 babies!!! The sad part about being a girl is that if you are going to have a baby you are going to be the one going thru hell while hubby dear has to just look a bit worried..*sigh* Not Fair!!!!!!( Warning : NO comments on this from any of the readers;) )

I miss...
right now..nothing..but thats coz I am a bit bugged up about the near future....let that get settled , then I will have loads of things to write about!

I hear...
the sound of a reporter speaking gibberish..I can hear the TV in the next room is quiet , other than the sound of moi typing..

I wonder...
Why some people become so important.

I regret...
Not being free enough to get wet in the rains..I can't do that no matter how much I want to...I just think of how messy it will be and stay inside while others have a rollicking time in the rains..

I am...
Raam pyari

I dance...
Very rarely, it takes a lot of cajoling to get me on the dance floor!

I sing...
I do not , and thank your lucky stars that I do not!

I cry...
very very very easily.. speak to me in a loud voice if you wish to heck!

I am not...
strong..not in okay, I am not physically strong either..but emotionally also, I do not think I am a very strong person...Classify that under the 'Sad but true' category!

I write...
Coz I love to torture you people!!!!Muhahhahahahahhahahahah..Read on nahi toh goli daag dundi!*maxx gunde waala luk*

I confuse...
Oh, I am thoroughly confused myself to even begin to try to confuse any one else!!!

I need...
to do some heavy duty anger learn to stay learn to stay quiet inside.

I should...
dance and sing even if I cannot .

I finish...
This hoping that you are not banging your head against a wall...or worse your PC...
chee chee

I tag…
1)Daroga jee(
2)Sumit jee( i cannot comment on your blog and you need to write a new post!!!
3)Mani jee (
4) Aarti di----
For you I have special tag so that I can get to know you better !!!!!!
so you answer the following:
1)Your pet name is ----
2) what do you do?
3)(and the totally girlie) any boy friend???, bolo , bolo!!!!
4) your best friend is----
5) Your family consists of----
6) Gimme an account( in sufficient detail) of all that you did today..ekdumm subah se!

jai jawan, jai kisan!!!

Gunite, amigos!

hahahahhahahahaahahha(evil laughter!!!)

Kyun, you ask??\

J.L.T , I say.

P.S.: J.LT=just like that!

Friday, July 21, 2006


She was in 2nd year Btech and he was a final year student . He was tall and fair with a half amused half wicked smile and relatively lonnggg hair ...By the time our story begins he , being a brilliant student and an athelete of repute had in his kitty the bestest job offer of the batch and most of the girls in her batch would either start giggling uncontrollably or become dead silent whenever he happened to pass by

Now ,she did acknowledge the fact that he was definitely a good looking guy but since looks were never of ANY importance to her, she never bothered much about him . Then one day she and another friend were getting some major work done in college and were running from pillaor to post to get things going when Friend poked her and whispered," That guy there, he is Rehan Sir, have you noticed he has been following us round the college since morning"

She looked around and saw Rehan standing a few feet away, near his bike , with his whole gang of friends , talking and laughing, hardly looking like a guy stalking a girl!

"Kindly shut up!",she said dismissively and turned her attention to the work at hand. The twosome , done with their work , started moving towards the Lecture Theatre and sure enough, Rehan and his entire group of friends followed!
That marked the beginning of many such incidents...She was , if anything, just a bit amused.
His friends were an integral part of the whole whatever was going on. Final year students do not like to study and somehow or the other it soon started happening that many times each day, She would look up to see him staring at her...
She would walk past the stairs and one of the group would whisper loudly," oye! Rehan!! dekh!!aa gayi!"
and then Rehan would place his hand over his heart and sigh audibly.

She was, as I said, just amused at his histrioncs...she just tried to avoid him as much as possible...

There was this one time when she was discussing something important with a male class mate outside the lecture theatre.The class mate was one of those people who began each sentence they spoke to her with an extremely witty 'iss baar bhi tum hi top karogi'

she: Can I borrow the assignment?
class mate: Iss barr toh tum hi top karogi...haan leh loh.

she: Terrorists attacked WTC yesterday...
class mate: Iss barr toh tum hi top karogi...haan very tragic naaa....these rubbish terrorists...

so there she was, trying to get some sensible answers from a guy with no sense when she instictively felt eyes boring into her.
She turned to Rehaan staring hard at her.
He continued staring angrily at her till she was there talking to the guy...till she stopped talking to the classmate and left with the conversation still incomplete, maxx irritated with something she could not figure out.
She felt extremely weird about it for many days to come and could not get it out of her system.

By now it was very common to have Rehaan's eyes follow her wherever she went...infact, she was quite used to it nay case, she reasoned with herself...he just had few more months left in college.

This one day she took a short cut from the girls' hostel to the Academic block and therefore had to walk through a narrow alley in the Electronics Department.
Rehan was an EC department student.
The alley was narrow and a bit dark and only seniors had there classes there.The alley was mostly deserted and she was alone..she could see a couple of guys hanging outside a class at some distance ..she could not make out who they were but instict told her it was Rehan and his friends.As she drew nearer to the group she actually contemplated running past the class but then the high heels and a tight churidaar made her veto this idea...
To appear busy she started fiddling with her bag...she could already hear a couple of ' oye rehan! tera waala pink yaar!!'
She was getting a bit nervous and the few feet seemed like a few hundred kilometres...she neared the class room and the guys...
Rehan was standing in the middle and as soon as she was close enough, at Rehan 's cue, his friends around him started playing imaginary violins and in a voice low enough to not attract any attention Rehan sang the following lines
"tujhe joh meine dekhaaaaaaaa
tujhe joh meine jaanaaaaaa.....
And all this while his friends played their imaginary violins with great concentration!
She , poor girl, was so terrified and shocked !!!She hurried out of the alley and heaved a sigh of relief only when she was in her own lecture theatre surrounded with guys least intersted in her...

That is all I have for you people today...
You might want to know what happend to her and him....the answer is simple , Nothing!
They never exchanged a single word and in a few months he left college...there were times when she felt that he wanted to say something but being the girl she was and sadly still happens to be she made sure that nothing was said.
There are songs that remind us of people, of incidences....some of these songs make us cry , some make feel calm.
I am so sure whenever she hears this song from 'Main hoo naa' , no matter how tense she might be, her face always, without fail breaks into a smile.

Gunite people:)

**** Sorry about the lack of knowledge the author has about all 4 lines were sung..ppl are welcum to provide the lines in case they are aware of the song.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

A long night ahead

As I begin to type this post, the two hands of the clock in my room , in a rare dispaly of unity have come together to remind me that it is midnight.
All round me quiet.

The only light around is the tubelight in my room,

The only sound I can hear is the low hum of the CPU fan...

It had been raining outside...I could hear the rain till sometime the sound of the rain drops falling against the window glass is inaudible...

My room is a bit untidy, a couple of rough pages are lying on the table , pens, pencils are strewn about...
The bed is unkempt and I wonh't put it straight either...books are strewn all over it...
Today I did all my padhai lying on the floor...yeah! the bai will have it easy tomm..

It is very rare to find me online at this hour..but of late I have been finding it difficult to sleep...I try to fool my brain and I keep telling it that I am very sleepy ..sometimes it works and sometimes it does not...and today,like yesterday , it is not working at all...

Till sometime back I could distinctly smell Fa Lavender talc on myself..but I do not anymore...
I think I very thirsty...
I think my mind is very restless at this hour..I do not know what it is looking for ..what would calm it...All I can sense is unease...
I wish I could just close my eyes and fall asleep....

I think it is going to be useless to try to sleep on my own..I think I will sleep in Mum and Dad's room...
I will go now...I have to hunt for the cot .

I hope you are all dreaming your nicest dreams at this very moment..
Sleep tight.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Post number HUNDRED!!!!!!!!!!!

(Since it's the 100th post, a couple of family pics have been added!)

*takes a bow amidst thunderous applause*
*beams with pride all around*
*a fresh round of applause*

Okay..okay's normal you see, to get so excited about all this but try and maintain calm people!!!!
Anywayz...wrote another AIMCAT today and followed Abhi's( advice and did the best I have done till now.
OKay , am alone at home Mum and Dad's friend had organised an art exhibition some time back which turned out to be a huge sucess and they are throwing a party to celebrate it!

My Dad , on my budday, when Mum and Dad had planned a surprize budday bash for me:)...This is how he looks at age 53, I am yet to see a man more handsome than my Dad was when he was younger.

Mommy darling, all set to go!!!!---As you can see, I am just a terrible waste of really good looking genes!*sigh!*

Anywayz..coming back to the post..
My duty in these cases is(ie when Mum gets ready) consists of two things:

1) Picking the right shade of lipstick--like right now I had to force her to use a particluar shade coz it suited much better.
2) I put together the bangles she wears--It includes staring at the drawer which consists of the bangles for an hour , trying to match colurs and picking out contrasts and then the final act of putting it all together!
It is soooooo much funnnnnnn!!!

Now this brings me to one of my fave things!
I absolutely love bangles....It will sound terribly corny but when I look at bangles tab kutch kutch hota hai!!
okokok....anyways, my point is that I am crazy about bangles...they have so much of colour , they look so pretty ,and they can make even the most ordinary hands look soooooo pretty!!
But the sad part is that I do not have many of them..neither do I have many colours..justa few whites and light pinks and silvers..thats about it...also many of them are actually gifts.

Raksha bandhan is round the corner...till last year, the day held very little significance for me. Tying the rakhee was a 5 minute procedure wherein Bhai would grimace all throughout as I would put the dahi and chawal waala tika on his forehead..he would continue to try staring at the tika as I tied the rakhee..Bhai would remind me to tie the rakhee loose so that he could remove it easily later...Dad would click a couple of pictures and Bhai would grimace again as he handed me the customary 500 bucks and that would be it..he would remove the rakhee within minutes and that would be the end of rakhee for us
So, last year was the first year Bhai and I were not together on Rakhee.Bhai is not one of those overtly sensitive people, we do not tell each other that we love each other or any such filmy bhai behen waala stuff....
There were problems etc etc and I was almost unable to send a I was quite Ok with it cos Rakhee never was a big deal with us....But then Ma insisted and I posted the rakhee at the last moment and it reached Bhai on Rakshabandhan itself..
I got to know that his roomie had tied the rakhee on my behalf and had insisted that Bhai shud give him the 500 bucks!
Apart from all this regular drama nothing was said about the rakhi.
Then Bhai came home for a break...
And with him came his wallet..
This one fine day, I was fiddling with his wallet and I saw something red tucked in a remote corner of his wallet...I got ultra suspicious and was very sure it had something to do with a girl .I pulled out the 'red thing' and stared at it for some time.
I was right.
It had everything to do with a girl.
The girl was me and the red thing was the rakhee which was in his wallet a good 7 months after Rakhee.

I was just about to post on my blog when I saw that...Believe me, it reduced me to silly tears and I wrote an ultra senti post on Bhai with unstoppable tears streaming down my face .It was too stark and raw a post to be kept on the blog and I would invariably start crying each time my eyes would fall upon the post I removed the post...

I dont know why I started crying...maybe knowing that you are indeed , contrary to all popular belief, important to one of the two men in your life...
It is by far the sweetst thing that has ever happened to me...I did not expect it at all and Bhai does not know that I know..I am not supposed to know and that is what makes it all the more precious.
I know , a lot of you would think that it was a small thing to happen , there was no need ot get so emotional about it...i know..i know...but you see, small things are enough to make my day...
Sometimes the smallest of things are the sweetest.

My Bhai is increasingly becoming the first one I think of calling up when something happens. When the results of the AIMCAT s are declared each week, he is the first person I call and we discuss the score , the %ile , what went wrong, what went right and everything....My internet link goes down and I call him up and within minutes his friends in the city are calling up to know what they can do to get the link working again...

If I have to work I know I iwll be opting for Hyderabad coz that is very close to Bhai..

It's been long since I met him..the longest ever...Ma, Dad and I are all missing him very bad....

Here is Bhai luking as if he has been working very hard and also terribly hairy!He is sans so much hair now:D

Some times I think that apart from my parents , Bhai is all I have .

OKay poor bored souls...the torture ends here..and I know what you are syaing in your head.
what a silly, emotional girl!!!
hehehe..that I am and proudly so! :D

jai hind!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Mini gundi!

For the uninitiated ,'gundi' is the female of a 'gunda' and for the super uninitiated a 'gunda' is also called a ' luchcha' and a 'lafanga' .
(A very common gaali ( infact , the only gaali )used by yours truly is L.L.B= Luchcha Lafanga Badmash)
chee chee...
raam raam..anyways enough of gyaan for a day!

..moving on...

Well, so I had been behaving like a gundi till some time back as in I was not studying enough...which was very bad..I used to conjure up the grandest of plans but nothing would materialise and that was terribly badd...but then my percentile in the AIMCATs used to be pretty gud and the city ranks were so terribly nice to hear that I think I was becoming complacent ..till last sunday.
*dramatic pause*
*bach ground mujeek, ekta kapoor ishtyle*

I wrote my AIMCAT and when I summed my DI marks I realised to my sheer, utter horror that my sectional score was -0.33!!!!!!!!! (negative jeero point three three, for the uninitiated)
On top of that I had missed two pages in that 50 page question booklet and thereby had not even attempted 7 simple 30 seconds english questions.
Anyone who has ever known anyone who has ever written CAT knows how important 7 marks can be

So, all in all, I wrote a miserable miserable, miserable the lowest %ile till date( dunno if the decreasing %ile is going to be a continuing phenomenon or not ) and by farrrrrrrrr the lowest city rank till date..*double, triple sigh!*

Infact , to make things sound terribly ugly, lemme add that this time the city rank was more than two times the previous lowest..It was also the first time that I got a city rank that was in double digits....
tch tch tch

When I logged on to check my AIMCAT result this tuesday,even though I knew I had done miserably, I just sat there staring at the screen for 5-10 minutes....unable to believe what I was seeing.

So,I knew that something was going wrong somewhere and I thought and I thought and I thought.....
I now know that I had been getting overtly tensed about CAT..I get very anxious about it and spend a lot of time thinking about it.....which is sheer stupidity....
Also I have given up IIM, I do not intend to stop working for CAT, not at all...far from it...but I am no longer obsessed about it..I am not thinking just reduces my efficiency if I think too much about anything...
If IIM or nay other good insti shall be brilliant but if it does not things shall still be okay...

This seems to be working for me...(tw) I am happier working, am enjoying the prep much more and all in all I am putting lesser pressure on myself.I am therefore quite busy with prep right now, I ake my deadlines and make sure I work according to them...31st July is an important date for me as by then I need to finish each and every basic thing related to CAT.... finally I sat down and got myself a plan of action and I hope to be able to stick by it!

Apart from that, without meaning to demean myself lemme add that there are certain things that one deserves to get and some that one does not deserve. However this neither means that no undeserving person shall get something good nor does it mean that one should stop working hard...I have tremendous faith and super tremendous respect for hard as usual , I shall work hard..but as the Geeta says, it is only 'karma ' that is in our hands..the ultimate result is beyond us....This is not negative thinking..this is simply ' no thinking'!
Thiking is injurious to health.

If a gud b-skul has to happen then so be it
If it does not have to happen....then...err..ummm......I am a slim, fair, sweet natured , convent educated girl from a respectable Brahmin family of Northern India who will be earning a 6 figure salary p.a. in a year's time dot dot

Blush blush blush!

Thursday, July 06, 2006


For years I never found anything more glamorous than sitting in front of the mirror , throwing your hair back , picking out a pretty ear ring and putting it on...There is something so terribly feminine about this that it never ceased to fascinate me....the simple reason for this weird fascination was that for a very long time I could not change my ear rings on my own...
I know it is down right silly and all that but frankly I could not , not matter how much I wanted to, put on stuff on my own.

When I was born, my Dadi's mother, badi nani, gifted me tiny 'ear ware'. Badi nani, incidently, is the one who gave me my name as well....Well, so then when I got my ears pierced,at some teeny-weeny age , those were the ones I used...For 1 year they stayed put till school started and there only ear rings were allowed. So dadi came to rescue this time and she gifted me a pair of gold ear rings.Simple ones. Not too large not too tiny.
They stayed put till I left school..yess!!!!For 14 years I did not change my ear rings! Occassionaly, the ear ring would come off and I would get mighty scared..but would never even even try to put it back.
I never trusted my mum with my ears:D so it was now Dad's turn to come to my rescue!
My Dad is an eye surgeon, and his work demands tremendous hand eye co ordination and all that blah..more over if the rumour going around in the doctors' circles is to be believed, Dad is supposed to have a rea neat , he had my trust and I would go to him with my HUGE problem.
He would look gravely at the ear ring for some time, study the one already in my ear for some more time, devise a strategy in his head , All this while I would be sittting on a chair , resting my head on the 'Operating Table' with the 'bad' ear facing him. He would switch on the lamp and the OPERATION would begin.
A lamp was used, Dad never used his hands ; steel forceps lying around in the house were used and I am just terribly glad that the high resolution microscope that Dad uses in his O.T[Operation Theatre for the medically challenged!] was not borrowed .
I am not generally wicked. Generally...ahem
But I have , in an usually clean career , yelped a major 'OUCchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' just for the heck of it.
Just to see how Dad would react to it...Dad, terribly used to poking needles into the eyes of unsuspecting patients would then throw his forceps and start off with a ' OK,OKOKOKOK, theek hai theek hai theek hai theek hai!!! OKOKOKOKOKOK, deep breaths, okokokokokokoko'
I firmly believe that he said all this to and for himself rather than me!!!! Those were the only times when , I believe, Dad regretted the fact that I was a girl. No girl= No ear rings=No 'ouch'.
Anywayz, If I were not in the mood to prolong the Operation with my antics, in about 3 minutes flat the ear rings would be in their place and both Dad and I would be happier people!

So, girls sitting all dressed in front of the mirror adding that final magical touch was so unreachable for me....
Anyways with time I did start doing it on my own....till sometime back.
For nearly one month I had not put on anything and my mum had been screaming at me to wear an ear ring /whatever today after a long time I put on tiny green ear rings ( gift from a neighbour who got them for me from Tokyo) . Within minutes my ultra sensitive ear was red and swollen and I had to take them off.
But no , they wouldnt budge..
and my ear pained like hell...
My Dad was about to leave home for a surgery and I asked him to help me out first.
Out came the lamp, the forceps were searched for , Dad studied the make of the ear rings for some time to decide on a strategy and adroitly removed the ear rings in 3 minutes flat!!!

Well that was the highlight of my morning today...the afternoon had something better to offer. my bestestestsestestestestestets friend,( is now back home for a month and suddenly my terribly boring life seems so terribly full!!!
its amazing how much difference one person can bring to your life!!!
Suudenly I have so many things to look forward to.....
loads of love

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


This one is for Friend, who tagged me sometime bak... a list of five weird(? ) things about here I go:)

1. Okay, if I put on a tiny black bindi I start looking like fair south indian teacher.Thats not only coz of the bindi, but also cuz of my hair...Damn my hair! See, the thing is that when I wear my hair even a teeny bit long, I start looking ultra padhaku , seedha saadha types..and people dont just take it in ..they make it a point to tell me that as well..Infact there was atime when people used to miss books around me! so I went ahead and got myself a stylish haircut(wohhkayyy, it was not that stylish either) and suddenly I was not looking padhku any more!!!!
but these days, since I am too bothered about other things to be actually bothered about the lenght of my hair, I am back to looking like a south indian teacher. Acouple of shades darker and you would have wished me with a 'vaddakaam , madumm, which class are you taking today"!

2. I cannot start studying at a time anywhere between do i put if i have to start padhai it has be started at an integer hour. As in at 4, if by chance i get delayed and its 4:15, i have to wait till it is 5 to start padhai again.

3. Right now I have a crush on Dr. House( a series on AXN, i gess) ! Gawd!!! luk at my taste in men, he is 40+, walks on crutches, is terribly rude , is hardly a looker but *sigh*.

4. I need to be crazy about something at any given point of time. It is like oxygen for me. Till sometime back it was the internet , now its back to good old TVVVVVVVVV!!!!!!!!!!!!

5.I have never even tasted tea or coffee in my entire life. However, I find the smell of coffee like whenever I am with a friend who I am close to and who also happens to be drinking coffee i generally borrow the friend's coffee and smell it..But I do that with good friends only;)


Its already 4:30, have to leave for choching though I DO NOT WANT to go right now....maybe I wont..its okay to do what u really wnat to , atleast once in a while even if it might not be the most correct thing to AXN, here I come!!!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Remember me question mark

For all those who missed me( ahem) I am BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

( Okay you were supposed to say that , but I did ...I am just tooooo terribly thoughtful!) broadband link was down these past few days and I decided to use that time slogging for beloved friend billi and hence the absence...
I got my Dad to threaten the internet guys . Dad used loads of" Consumer Forum",'lawyers' ,'police' etc etc to get them to do something about this !
So, all of you who missed me, cummon, jaldddiiiii se mere Dad ko thank you bolo...jaldi, quick!! ho gaya?

grrrrrr..I am going crazy right now...but you see, I missed not only my blog but also a couple of other blogs so bad!
This real wierd thought came to my mind some days back. If my daughter were to come to me with a guy like Hrithik Roshan, and say that she wishes to marry this guy , I would so totally agree!
I mean he looks so terribly sincere and hard working and I was so totally rooting for him and hoping that Krish would work for this guy..
Its actually funny, coz like I do not have celebrity crushes and all that..its just that I respect this guy so much!
I look at him and I see honesty, hard work , sincerity..its insane coz like obviously I do not know anything about his personal life but still in my mind he epitomizes all that is nice and hardworking......

Anywayz..coming to saner things...
The results of the 3rd aimCAT were declared..and as usual I did not clear the quant cut off..(this makes it three in a row and since I have just ritten 3 totally not good!!! )
but I just missed the cut off by 0.33 marks and this is by far the closest I have ever come to the cut off...
So , in a way, it was okay..apart from that..I need more scores!!!!!!!!! The percentile is so terribly misleading!!!!
And also, I need to put in more hours....
4 months and 18 days!
and soooooo much to do....
The choching people are just giving us so much to do.....but then obviously I understand it is a very useful thing to thats okay..(aah...I am so kind and just, I should be the queen of this planet)
So, I am thinking along the lines of a couple of solid hours in the morning...that should help big time...
and yess..

I need more marks. I need more marks. I need more marks. I need more marks.
and in case you did not get what I just said.
I need more marks!
anywayz..I know I sound mentally deranged and all that..but then 4 months and 18 days takk abb yehi jhelo!!!!
*evil laff*
missed you guys....babye and tk care!