It is 11 :35 right now and I am not sleepy..
I have changed my strategy for we-know-what..it is very much about quality studies now..I am studying for 6 hours with maxx concentration...add, mebbe an hour of reading...so approx--6-7 hours of work...
Tomm is going to be a hectic day..have to get something done about the project thingy...I just went there twice!
Can you beat that??!!!
From what I can gather ,my company has improved it's pay package by a considerable margin , so if it is indeed true then ..well...the starting salary is not all that bad ...
Bhai doesnt see nay reason why I should not work right now..
It scares me like hell to think of this time next year..
Might have to leave for Pune..It scares me so bad ..gosh...I dont want to go...I really do not....I mean not like go and work..it sounds so grown up and all....
I mean I would love to go to a b skul..but work?? no..I do not wnat to....
I dunno if I will be able to manage on my own...I mean I know I will be able to but I do not want to..I dunno and mebbe I should not care...
I hate this thing about myself..I think sooooooo much about everything!
Dadi might be having some heart problem....that is scaring me ... sometimes evrything seems so big....
I have stopped getting so bugged up about what I score in those weekly thingies!duh! AIMCATs yaar!
I mean -this is gonna be my strategy---am just going to work and not be bothered about what will ultilmately happen...I will be okay..I know...Everything will be okay....Even if I do not pull off the skul thing, then too I will be okay....I hope I manage something like MDI or something...
The people I know, who are not preparing for any competetive rubbish(read billi) are having a grand time...partying..meeting up with friends and all that blah...
Wait a sec!!!!
why am I cribbing about that!
cus like I am not even a party person!
I hate most parties..they are so terribly fake..I think the largest party I have ever thrown has included three poeple!
I see no point in loud music and wild dancing and loads and loads of people..I hate it!
And I hate all those stupid aunties who have to kiss me!!!!!!!
I hate it!!!!!!!!! and I cannot even say anything..!!!!!!cos they are either MOm's best friend or Dad's friend's wife!
I have noticed this about women who only have sons...they really dunno what to do when around a girl..
A coupla days ago, Mum's friend had come over..shes the sorts who have to settle my hair, who will hold my hand stare at my fingers in case I am sitting next to her and who say thiongs like" isko dekh karr lagta hai, jaise chuoge toh gandi ho jayegi"..yeah! yeah! believe it or no, I have taken all this crap from a lot of poeple!!!
Mum explains..that this is coz I look thoda seedha saadha types and all that...but still say whatever you wish to just to me and not infront of soooo many poeple..I mean I feel like some heroine of some Ekta Kapoor serial when somone says this kind of stuff..
And its not like I actually am terribly delicate types...
I am a very noraml looking girl and need to be treated with respect and not have aunties settling my hair and fingering my ear rings all the time...
There is this other aunty who has a son( who happens to be the root a potentially huge problem, uffffff..I hate guys!!!!) and a daughter...now she came over some time back , took my hands in her hands , stared at them for some time and started crying...
"isko dekh karr mujhe meri beti yaad aa jati hai"( her daughter is in B'lore and is about to have a baby)
yeah and you know what I said to that!
" arre aunty, mein bhi toh apki beti jaisi hoon"
yeah ! yeah! I actually said that!I do this kind of stuff....as in I say filmy stuff to filmy poeple..
The aunty in question cried buckets and even Mum was quiet exasparated and has forbidden me to enter a room when she is there specially if my arms are bare!
She says things like" bete, aap janati hain, hum aapse kitna pyar kartein hai??"
(yess!!! yess! she actually says that!)
and you know what I reply to that!
[with a huge smile]" aunty, kya aap janate hain hum aapse kitna pyaar kartein hai?!"
Its just that I love acting all Ekta Kapoor type..
We are both so sugary sweet to each other....as I am to some aunties...It is entertaining in a away...infact very entertaining...
My Mum has forgotten how to serve food, thats my duty ..so like Mum does all the work and then she sits with the guests and I bring in evry thing..
So most poeple think..that not only am I a gud student but am also a 'sarv gud sampann susheel kanya" the kind it is difficult to find in this day and age...
but *exasparated luk*
I am none of that..
I think I am supremely lazy and can be very stubborn..its just that I get tired of being known as the nice girl..always..
Cuz I can be a very bad person...I mean some times I hate myself for a number of things and I just wonder why most poeple cannot see thru me!
but well...the only thing .i am glad about is that I am not bringing home trouble..am leading a clean life based on certain principles and values...that is the only thing I am glad about....just dont want my family to be ashamed of me..its okay if they are not proud of me..but it will be so not okay if they are ashamed of me ..if I do something that they do not approve of...gosh..I hope that never happens..
as you can see, I am a mum-and-dad-bhakt!!!I have so independent streak in me, there is no rebel in me--just lemme study and I shall be happy, I am not opinionated..I take shit from people,I can be painfully shy, I am big time maggoo , I do not have smart ass comments....
and going with the mood of the latter part of the post...
sab mil ke bolo!
Mom ki jai!!!
Dad ki jai!!!!
hehhehe, shorry about the crap:D but just felt like talking crap...if you were a very gud friend ,on the fone with me right now..this is exactly what I would have said to you:)
And it would have been an hour long conversation!!!!
P.S. Am reading Anna Karenina , a post on extra marital affairs..(the main issue in the book) later..:)