Tuesday, December 20, 2005

DECEMBER.....

Disclaimer : This is not another pathetic attempt at humor..This is just some stuff about something that happened in December a couple of years ago. I shall strongly advice you against reading this.

It is December once again...and once again similar thoughts have begun to plague me ....There was this girl who was part of my extended group of friends in class 12, lets call her M . One day, late in the afternoon, Latika called me up. I still remember the exact words she said to me.
" Ruchi, pata hai kya hua???!!!! M lost her mother yesterday!!! " . I recall Latika's voice, her exact words, where i was at that point of time...what i had been doing ..everything . It was the first time any of this was happening to someone i knew personally.M's mom had been hospitalized for some time in AIMS and she had died that morning coz her aorta had burst..
M had not been coming to school , for one or two days...For sometime she had been making her own lunch and I remember we used to taste it and give our expert comments..I had no idea that her mom was unwell! NO IDEA!!!!! SHE WAS MY FRIEND AND I HAD NO IDEA THAT HER MUM WAS DYING IN A HOSPITAL!!!
I don't remember the rest of the conversation I had with Latika, but then I called up Nivindya , her sister told me that she was sleeping, I told her to wake her up. I could not believe my ears as I gave Nivindya the terrible news. I was just so numb. I don't remember anything of the conversation that I had with NIvindya. But suddenly the Boards were not at the top of my priority list . Gosh , I so totally remember that feeling I had when I heard that news.
I mustered up enough courage to call up M late in the evening. It was so weird. What was I supposed to say ? I had no idea.I just wanted to talk to her . I don't recall ,much of that conversation either but i do remember crying very bad on the phone. I was crying and M was telling me that its alright , everything will be alright...Even then some part of me was wondering at the absurdity of the situation...shouldnt it have ben the other way round? So i kept crying and she kept consoling me.
Gosh, I never knew that she could be so strong . Or as a matter of fact any one could be so strong.I even asked her why she was not crying, she said that she had to be strong for her brother and Dad.
The next day in school was the weirdest of the 14 X 365 days i spent there.I used to study in a Girls' Convent. Christmas was round the corner. The carol the choir sang during assembly that day was:
Joy to the world, the Lord has come.
Let Earth receive her King.
Joy to the world...


I was the Vice Captain of my House which meant that i was not supposed to stand with my class during assembly, instead me plus all the other prefects were supposed to stand next to one junior class assigned to them.I went to class 8-C , told them in a quiet voice that my classmate had lost her mum and i wanted to be with my friends at that morning and would they please be quiet and not attract any teacher's attention during the assembly.By the time i reached where my class was standing for the assembly i could see almost all the prefects standing in line. Almost all heads were bent. The faces that i managed to catch a glimpse of had tears running down their faces as the entire school joined in singing joy to the world
I truly felt that that was the worst ...to sing joy to the world....its such an enthusiatic hymn...so full of life..so happy.....so not for that day.As the school dispersed , i had to stand near the walkway while class after class piled to their class rooms and make sure that order was maintained. I just stood there, numb. It was a pain to even open my mouth to tell some rowdy girl to kindly maintain silence. I was dreading class 8-C's arrival there...coz they were a rowdy lot and since i was friendly with them, they hardly used to listen to me.I knew ,that day, that i could not trust myself to speak more than two sentences without bursting into tears. Class 8-C came. For the firt time each and every girl was in line. For the first time not single girl was talking. For the first time i saw them so somber.
I so totally fell in love with you, girls,in those few minutes.Specially S, when i saw u hit that girl in front of you and hiss a 'Cant you not talk??!!' at her. Thank you for understanding me.Thank you,8-C.I was not trying to be funny when i told you on my last day in school that i really liked you all!
That day was weird.We did not have our practicals...Ms. Kalra our maths teacher did not teach...All three of us went to M's house a few days later. She was calm and composed. Her hair was neatly combed.But it just was not fair!! Her mum was her best friend! She ,apparently, herself had no idea about the seriousness of her mothers illness. You know, mothers are so important. I know they are important for boys, but somehow a girl needs her mother much more. And like loosing your mum and your best friend in one go, just does not seem fair .
The Boards came and went. I dont know M managed it, but she got a 75+% . M was never amongst my close friends, but she was a good friend. However even though we are in the same city we did not keep in touch. After school i have met her just once,at Latika's sister's wedding. It was just so nice to see her all dressed up wearing a i-dunno-know-how-many-crores-worth bindi :). It was nice to see that she was doing okay...
I think of M and her Mum very often these days..maybe it is because it was in December that all this happened. I dunno. All through my exams M has been sauntering in my mind. It's kind of inexplicable. I was talking to Latika this other day and i told her this. And she immediately asked me if i want her number to call her up.
I refused. No ,there is nothing i have to say to M . I just wish her well. I think of her so often and each time all of it seems more unfair. Someday something very nice will happen to you, M. It sure will.

13 comments:

Suds said...

What can I say. I am touched. I wish something very nice happens to M and you.

Pradyot said...

Took the advise and didn't read it :P

!xobile said...

Hey ruchi
You've got me into senti mode now...
I faced a similar situation. He was my best friend. Very close.
And his dad passed away.
He wasn't coming 2 school for a few days as his dad was not well. So i called him when I reached home
n he sounded so weird..
he asked "school mein kya huva aaj"
I said leave that hows you dad ?
and said .. I remember the exact words
"Mere papa kee death ho gaye yaar" and cried...
He cried and I didn't know how to react. I said
"yaar.. pls mat ro.. pls"
and out of awkwardness kept the phone within sometime.
He used to be so sad.. so depressed even when he started coming to school...
Though he's much better now.
Even our teachers and a few frnd went to his dad's cremation.

I would sound hypocritically mean in what Im gonna say.. But I'm not lying.
I'm not.
What I beleive is that, whatever... WHATEVER happens is for good.
Joy to the world, the Lord has come.
Let Earth receive her King.
Joy to the world...
I know saying this is easier when it comes to others but Im ready to accept anything that comes my way.
I know im sound like a cheat here. But now that im opining, there's always joy...
there's always joy. Pain to hai hee nahi !!

When everything is for the better... I beleive in accepting and I accept ANYTHING that happens.

sorry for being so blunt and sounding so cruel.

So you may hope of something nice happening to someone... Because it will still happen without your hope.
Everything is nice. Everything for all.

Thank you for such a post.

Raam Pyari said...

suds : Thank you..:) and yuss, ur first time here, isnt it?
So, welcome to mah blog!! :)

Praddy praji : tussi toh impossible ho ! :D
Btw, atleast you listened to me!

Zee : Best buddy ke saath..??? arre yaar...yeh toh totally bad hai.I wish things of this sort neva happened...It gives me sucha helpless feeling..:(
Thats when i start hoping that something very nice will happen to all of them to kinda make up for this kind of a tragedy.Its a stupid way of reasoning..but well..thats how i think.
No, you do not sound blunt and cruel at all....
I hope your friend begins to feel better soon...
*deep sigh! *

Pradyot said...

do you really think I didn't read it?

!xobile said...

arre ha ha... woh abhi bilkul normal ho gaya hai. ab to usko gf bhi mil gayi hai re ;) yeh baat 2 yrs purani hai.

Raam Pyari said...

praddy prajji : hehe..naah! i dont. i was juss kidding.

Zee : gud...gud... nice to hear that :)

amit said...

dont know wht to say..... really dont know .....

Canary said...

such a loooong post.. i got tired by the time i finished it..! :p
but anyways.. hw r u dear? hw wr ur exams ? :)

Raam Pyari said...

amit : arre..its okay..i dunno wat any one can say to this..moreover this is soeone elsez story ...i just put up my side of it.

canary jee : hehe..EXAMS FINISHED!!!!!
FINISHED!!!
FINISHED bole toh FINISHED!!!!
I am estatic..i have nevr known greater joy!!!!!!!!! :))))

kshitij said...

This was truly one of those readings which ….. (am at a loss of words)…. but surely abhi I am in quite a pensive mood. It reminded me of my best friend… a happy-go-lucky lad …. who suddenly lost his father(due to heart-attack) while he was in Std X.
I went to his place and there he was…to my utter shock… behaving so normally…. “namaste uncle, hi kshitij…been to school kal?” . that guy hadn’t shed a tear. All my efforts to make him cry resulted in only me breaking down.
I tell u…he is by far the most seedha type I have ever come across… ever. A brilliant brain and a heart of gold. I say this not because he is my best pal but he genuinely is such a person. How could God do it with him? How could He even think of this?
But I guess there are some questions which only He knows and its best if we leave these to Him only.
But surely this world needs more people lie him and people like him need and deserve all the happiness that there is in this world.

Raam Pyari said...

kshitij sir : hmmm...best friend ???? baap re....i dunno how bad that can be!!!
pata nahiin, i toh juss dont want any thing bad to happen to any body at all, whether bad, nice or good...but ofcourse thats a silly way of thinking.
I also believe, and believe it strongly, that if something bad hapens somehow ppl get the strength to face it....dunno..its all extremely depressing

latika said...

such an irony....i just had a conversation with her(M) on the phone 15 minutes ago.....
I was pretty happy a little while ago but suddenly so depressed now.
just remembering that time and the time when we were at her house is simply scary! dil dhakh ho gaya