Disclaimer : This is not another pathetic attempt at humor..This is just some stuff about something that happened in December a couple of years ago. I shall strongly advice you against reading this.
It is December once again...and once again similar thoughts have begun to plague me ....There was this girl who was part of my extended group of friends in class 12, lets call her M . One day, late in the afternoon, Latika called me up. I still remember the exact words she said to me.
" Ruchi, pata hai kya hua???!!!! M lost her mother yesterday!!! " . I recall Latika's voice, her exact words, where i was at that point of time...what i had been doing ..everything . It was the first time any of this was happening to someone i knew personally.M's mom had been hospitalized for some time in AIMS and she had died that morning coz her aorta had burst..
M had not been coming to school , for one or two days...For sometime she had been making her own lunch and I remember we used to taste it and give our expert comments..I had no idea that her mom was unwell! NO IDEA!!!!! SHE WAS MY FRIEND AND I HAD NO IDEA THAT HER MUM WAS DYING IN A HOSPITAL!!!
I don't remember the rest of the conversation I had with Latika, but then I called up Nivindya , her sister told me that she was sleeping, I told her to wake her up. I could not believe my ears as I gave Nivindya the terrible news. I was just so numb. I don't remember anything of the conversation that I had with NIvindya. But suddenly the Boards were not at the top of my priority list . Gosh , I so totally remember that feeling I had when I heard that news.
I mustered up enough courage to call up M late in the evening. It was so weird. What was I supposed to say ? I had no idea.I just wanted to talk to her . I don't recall ,much of that conversation either but i do remember crying very bad on the phone. I was crying and M was telling me that its alright , everything will be alright...Even then some part of me was wondering at the absurdity of the situation...shouldnt it have ben the other way round? So i kept crying and she kept consoling me.
Gosh, I never knew that she could be so strong . Or as a matter of fact any one could be so strong.I even asked her why she was not crying, she said that she had to be strong for her brother and Dad.
The next day in school was the weirdest of the 14 X 365 days i spent there.I used to study in a Girls' Convent. Christmas was round the corner. The carol the choir sang during assembly that day was:
Joy to the world, the Lord has come.
Let Earth receive her King.
Joy to the world...
I was the Vice Captain of my House which meant that i was not supposed to stand with my class during assembly, instead me plus all the other prefects were supposed to stand next to one junior class assigned to them.I went to class 8-C , told them in a quiet voice that my classmate had lost her mum and i wanted to be with my friends at that morning and would they please be quiet and not attract any teacher's attention during the assembly.By the time i reached where my class was standing for the assembly i could see almost all the prefects standing in line. Almost all heads were bent. The faces that i managed to catch a glimpse of had tears running down their faces as the entire school joined in singing joy to the world
I truly felt that that was the worst ...to sing joy to the world....its such an enthusiatic hymn...so full of life..so happy.....so not for that day.As the school dispersed , i had to stand near the walkway while class after class piled to their class rooms and make sure that order was maintained. I just stood there, numb. It was a pain to even open my mouth to tell some rowdy girl to kindly maintain silence. I was dreading class 8-C's arrival there...coz they were a rowdy lot and since i was friendly with them, they hardly used to listen to me.I knew ,that day, that i could not trust myself to speak more than two sentences without bursting into tears. Class 8-C came. For the firt time each and every girl was in line. For the first time not single girl was talking. For the first time i saw them so somber.
I so totally fell in love with you, girls,in those few minutes.Specially S, when i saw u hit that girl in front of you and hiss a 'Cant you not talk??!!' at her. Thank you for understanding me.Thank you,8-C.I was not trying to be funny when i told you on my last day in school that i really liked you all!
That day was weird.We did not have our practicals...Ms. Kalra our maths teacher did not teach...All three of us went to M's house a few days later. She was calm and composed. Her hair was neatly combed.But it just was not fair!! Her mum was her best friend! She ,apparently, herself had no idea about the seriousness of her mothers illness. You know, mothers are so important. I know they are important for boys, but somehow a girl needs her mother much more. And like loosing your mum and your best friend in one go, just does not seem fair .
The Boards came and went. I dont know M managed it, but she got a 75+% . M was never amongst my close friends, but she was a good friend. However even though we are in the same city we did not keep in touch. After school i have met her just once,at Latika's sister's wedding. It was just so nice to see her all dressed up wearing a i-dunno-know-how-many-crores-worth bindi :). It was nice to see that she was doing okay...
I think of M and her Mum very often these days..maybe it is because it was in December that all this happened. I dunno. All through my exams M has been sauntering in my mind. It's kind of inexplicable. I was talking to Latika this other day and i told her this. And she immediately asked me if i want her number to call her up.
I refused. No ,there is nothing i have to say to M . I just wish her well. I think of her so often and each time all of it seems more unfair. Someday something very nice will happen to you, M. It sure will.