Another broken dream..
As the key to the VA section changes, the changes happening are such that my total score has nose dived.

so, in all probability, I say good bye to a dream I had been nurturing for over 2 years and slogging for for the past 8 months.

All those all india double digit ranks in VA in almost each AIMCAT and each SIMCAT I wrote and now my VA score.

Why does this always happen with me. When I wrote JEE ,I had decided that I will never let that happen to me again..but naah...someone up there has a major problem with me.

Do I feel like getting up and studying for the next MBA entrance Exam?
No.

Do I feel like studying for the end sems ?
No.

Do I feel like ever openeing a book again?
No.

I am angry, at myself for not having delivered at the right time.
I am kinda upset that poeple who were doing terribly all throughout are getting better scores than I am
I am sad coz once again I have to let go of naother dream.

Zindagi ki yehi reet hai...
kahi haar , kahi jeet hai...

There is life post billi..!!!!





(Pics taken on the 18th:) )

I look at the calendar and then at the watch, and I cannot believe that I have lived to tell the tale...

Well, to begin with, facts first...there is a lot of confusion regarding my scores thanks to the varying results being put up by the various sites...I might be in the 'getting a call' bracket but one cannot be sure,obvio...

Anywyaz...even as my mind is swamped by millions of doubts, I must add that being able to even comtemplate the possibility of getting a call is wonderful for me..
Anywayz...that is another story all together..

Preparing for CAT has been a diffrent experience all together, I have never really been a part of something like this ever before..

CAT has been a person in my life...
I have loved it,hated it..

And now it is over:)
A job well done, it is now time to move on..

Thankyou people for wishing me luck...

A detailed post later, am too tired right now...

So, I blog.

*applause*

1. I hate the 'shusheel kanya' look that I perpetually have.

2. The ladka dikhai of a cousin happened at my place.
I got along better with the guy than my cousin did.Ahem.

2.5 Thankfully the shaadi[ladka and cousin] is fixed but the sasur jee has been speaking verrry highly of poor moi.

2.75 I think my cousin is plotting my murder.

3.I spent half an hour with myself in the garden yesterday..there were too many things happening in my head .The semi biting chill was so refreshing.It cleared my head.

3.5 It is nice to not think.

3.75 If it is too cold, I do not think.

3.90 I am planning to shift to Antarctica.


4.My shorts fascinate my maid.

4.5 No wonder she keeps trying to peep upar.

4.75 In case someone wants to buy a gift for me,Cycle shorts would be very nice.

4.90 And very useful also.

5.Nights and early mornings are getting cold now.Mum took out the wollens yesterday and each time that happens , I rediscover sooooo many clothes:)
Found an OSSUUMMM jacket my uncle got for me from Chicago.

6.I am single and so blissfully , happily single. Jeez man, single girls rock!!

7. I do not have an iota of faith in the crap called love.
And I bow before God and thank him for that.

8.Things do not always look right , do they?

9. Sometimes, I wonder if I should have become a doctor.I think I will always wonder.

9.5 But many people continue to live simply coz of that one decision I made.

10. I hate aunties who think I will make suhseel bahu for their iit 9 pointer sons.
10.25 Sometimes, I think I have something against IIT.
10.5

11. I am feeing very happy and light at this moment.
And nothing ultra good has happened.
I am happy coz I have no reason to be sad.

12. Saw Jaan-e-mann. I loved it and do not care if everyone else thinks it was ruubish. I had a good 3 hours.

13.I love movies that make me laugh.

14.Most girls strain their ears to listen to any comment that might come from luchchas and lafangas standing by.

14.5 most girls feel disgusted when the comment is not clearly audible.What a waste of a comment.
14.75 All girls hate it when no comment happens when one is expected.

15.when one gilr meets another girl for the first time, she looks her from head to toe.If she is fashion conscious she is classified as 'too loud /too m,uch into makeup wakeup ,i never put on so much makeup 'category.
If she is simply dressed, she is a 'behenji'.

16.Girls are bitches.Atleast most of them can be.

17.All men are d*gs. No exception what soever.

And with that solemn thought I end this post.

rANDOMNESS PERSONIFIED

The one reason why I did not want to announce my decision about giving blogging a break till CAT was exactly this!

The moment I typed those few words , my fingers started itching ...a new post! thats exactly what i wanted to write.

hmmfffff

The best part is that I do not have anything to write about. I just wrote a sectional english test, scored a 34.66 and since this is the 3rd time in the past week that i have accomplished this spectacular feat, I thought the moment called for a post.
And a toast.
or both.
whatever


No, I have no sob story to blog about today! Tough luck, I know!!!

There are two girls who come over to help Mum with the house work[ yess, you! dunt gimme that ,' pandhran warsh se chote bachcho se ghar athwa dhabe parr kam karwana das actoober se kanunan jurm ho gaya hai 'crap, their Mum used to work at our place and she is not keeping well so they come over, ]

So, my Mum has taught them a few english words.
And sadly phrases also.

So, on sunday when I left for the SIMCAT, one of them shouted a very cheery ,"how arreeee youuuuuuu"!!!!!!

When they leave they say the following:
bye bye
ta ta
how are you
pink
orange
I love you
I love you too.
bye bye.

See you errr...err.. after CAT, obvio!

Hi ,

So I post after a long time(as in rite a post thats going to stay)..Its about the longest break I have taken from blogging..

Things are becoming a bit messy and for the first time I do not know who to turn to..sometimes I think I should manage it alone but then I am unable to...I wish I had a magic wand which would put everything right..

Also I have gone back to riting in my diary..

Things may not be okay right now, but they will some time later, right?

I had finally begun having faith..but I seem to have lost it all..the reason thatI wish otherwise is that I feel faith makes you strong...
I dunno, if you have faith in God, plz tell me why you believe in him...
I am so confused about certain things right now..I have no answers ...the questions irritate and so does the fact that I am unable to find the answers to them..
Soemtimes these days, seeing other poeple happy has begun to irk me...but that is not inherently me and hopefully as things sort themselves out , I shall be back to being okay:)

Okay so it seems that I cannot think of anything other than my sob story which is exactly what I did not want to write.

Toh isiliye , lemme end this here...I might be taking a break from blogging for the next month or so..maybe I will write once in a while..but regular blogging will take break..:)

I shall resume it when I finish with CAT..

Be good:)

Arbit post.

Today I was told that I am 'timidly determined'.
My friend said that I am timid and harmless but I get my way. She was saying this in context of this proff at college who refused point blank to supervise our project, and according to her, I just kept smiling sweetly as I kept on asking him to please reconsider until it became difficult for him to say 'no' anymore and he finally agreed.

So, that got me thinking.

Some things are predictable now.It started when Btech had just started and we were just begining to get to know each other. The most common question any girl would ask me would be if I had a boyfriend.
When I would reply in the negative most poeple would be genuinely surprised.
They would claim that I was lying and that I did not want them to know about him
Now , when this would happen, I alwayz wanted to know if they were surprised coz I am sucha a babe that it is impossible fr me to not have a bf or that I am sucha gundi that gundiz like me do not exist on this planet for two decades without a couple of guys drooling after them.

Apart from that , I speak a lot of rubbish. I genuinely do and I have realised that it can be so much fun provided, provided that the person you are talking to is as much of a dramebaaz as you happen to be.Apart from Niv there is just one person with whom I can do all my nautanki w/o being chided for being so silly. I met him through this blog and today he happens to be amongst my bestest friends . I have never met him and he has promised me that we shall never either !!But like if we speak for 30 minutes on YM we spend half an hour of that time talking nautanki. There is no sense in what we speak , none what so ever, but yess, a couple of thousand laughs are exchanged and I log off completely refreshed!!If it were any other person I were talking about my next line would have been, 'and , so , friend, I would like to thank you for being sucha grand friend' but but but but not with him :) There is no need for that. He knows what he should know!

My mid sems got over today at one , and now it has been four hours since and I have been to the beauty parlour and have visited a frend for 5 minutes ; so I think it is time I went back to padhai for billi ji .
Samachar samapt hue.
Namaskar.

Birthdays :)

So, I speak about birthdays today.
Two to be precise.
On 14th Latika turned an year older and this is what I did.
Landed at her place at 6 in the morning !!!! Okay okay before a couple of you khumbhakarans faint , lemme addin my defence that she, in any case , leaves for medical skul at around 7:30.
So,
I called her at 6 and said," darwaaza kholo!!"
And she was like," WHATTT!!!, Tum bahar ho kya!!"

So, I spent an ossuumm one hour with her, I had bought a birthday cake for her and though I had decided I would get her to cut it in front of me but that did not happen.
Then , I fished out her birthday card and then came the presents. Now poor girl, she had been longing for sensible belts for a longggg time but could not go shopping for them coz of a buzy schedule so I gave her that as her gift[I had spent about 4 hours the day before shopping for her!!!!].We had that guess-karro-kya-ho-sakta-hai thing as well before she unwrapped her gift.
Then by the time she had finished squealing I was like' here, another gift for you!"
[yess, yess, I got her two gifts!!!]
And as predictable as it was, it was another belt!:D
So, she is now richer by two belts, one very sleak and sophisticated and the other cool and swanky!

Anyways, apparently she had been feeling low coz of something and she cheered up beeg time coz of what I did
It was OSSSUUUMMMM!!!!!

Then came Sunday, the 17th of September.[ Date corrected to 17th of september , courtsey Mr Shreyansh Singh(www.iamalluring.blogspot.com).In my defence , Niv 's budday is on the 17th of september oopss I mean 17th of november, hence the kaanfusion . And no, someone has not missed his parents anniversary .And no ,some one has not missed CAT either! CAT miss kare aapke dushmann!!:P over and out]

And this part of the post is dedicated to niv, creepu beti and shekhar all whom wanted to how the budday surprize ( http://smilethesmile.blogspot.com/2006/09/p.html )turned out!

So, BHai, as per the plan reached the city on the 16th, Dad went to pick him up and he came to the test centre to meet me on the 16th.
On the 17th Dad casually suggested that we should go out for lunch and hence apparently at the spur of the moment, we decided to head out for lunch.

Now at around 1 Mum comes to me and says" pata hai kya hua!!!"
I was like" kya??!!!!"

Mum: " Bhai ki buss kharab ho gayi hai..woh Katra,Jammu mein hai!!!"

Me [totally shocked and ready to burst into laughter coz at that very moment bhai was right in front of our house at a neighbours who had been invited to the get together, to pick her up]: hawwwww, firr abb kya hoga???!!!

Mum: Bhai keh raha hai ki jahan woh hai, wahan se usse pahad bhi dikh rahe hai!!!

me: mountains!!! ooooo!!! how nice!!

Ma: what nice vice!!! seedhe ghar aana chahiye usse, pata nahi trekking ki kya padi hai usko!!!! Baat nahi karungi main usase!!!!

Me: haan, abbb yeh to hai, Ma!

Ma: Aur pata hai kya!

Me: kya ,Ma?

Ma: Usane 10 minute baat karri but birthday bhi nahi wish kiya!

Me[mentally I went 'awwwwwww']: aarre koi nahi Ma, abhi kitane tension mein hoga, bus nahi chal rahi naa...let it be!


Anyways.. so after a couple of thousand hushed whispers between me and dad, hundreds of knowing glances exchanged, dad ,I and Mum reached the restaurant.
A part of the restaurant which had been reserved for us had been decorated , and the seating arrangement was for 10 people.
Mum was a bit perplexed.
Streamers did not make sense.
The seating arrangement for 10 people did not make sense.
By that time , Mum's best friend and her hubby walked in!

Mum was like " arre!! aap log!!!"
Aunty : arre aaap!!!hum toh yahan aisehi aa gaye!! aap kyoon hain yahan parr!

Mum looked at Dad and then looked at me!
And before she could say anything Mum's other best friend walked in !!
By that time Mum understood and she blushed and laughed and accepted the flowers and the gifts and did all that is suitable at such an occasion.

After about 10-15 minutes when all had settled, I stepped away from everyone and called up Bhai , asking him what his plans were, as in when exactly did he plan to turn up!
Bhai wanted the details of where exactly we were sitting and whether Ma's back was towards the entrance or no.

So, as I pulled Mum's leg about the surprise birthday bash with the two Aunties joining in , I could see Bhai enter the restaurant, a wrapped gift in hand .
As he made his way towards Mum , Dad , who had also seen Bhai engaged Mum in small talk.
As Bhai covered Mum's eyes from behind, rested his cheek against Mum's head I did the totally filmy
" Mummeee!!! Guess karo kaun hai??!!!"

Mum was like totally taken aback and she could not even come up with a single sensible name:P
And then after a few more minutes of this filmy stuff , BHai removed his hands and Mum turned around to have a look at her son who was supposed to be thousands of miles away at that very moment.

To pull this off was quite an effort and at times I got so bugged with the details and all that I felt like scrapping the whole thing off but that look on Ma's face when it finally dawned upon her that the guy behind her is her son was worth every every every penny!

Somehow things had ,by then ,turned a bit emotional..I cannot put it in words actually..
All I can say is that as I looked from Mum [completeley taken aback at the sight of Bhai but totally happy ] , to Mums friends to Dad there was not a single pair of eyes that did have tears in them.
There was so much love around all of us there , at that moment .

The snug , comfortable feeling of being around people you love and doing things that make them happy is priceless.

I am so glad we did this for Mum.
:)

Ruchi

So, I blog about him today
And let me begin from the beginning.
And let me call him P.
When the results of the first semester were declared , I for the first time actually noticed P. The reason was simple. I had a measley 84.6% and a class rank of 3,P had 87% and an University rank of 7.

So, soon after the results were decalred, P got the honour of becoming the first boy in college to ask for my number.
As I gave my number to him, I heard a couple of guys behind us hooting .
I wondered for the whole of the next semester why he had taken my number, coz he never called, never messaged.
But then by the beginning of second, I started getting messages from him. Strictly related to studies.

Then we had a freshers party for the juniors . It was eventful day :) , two of the junis on being asked which senior girl they liked the most took my name and only two guys were asked this question !
Then we sat in huge circle and called the junis one by one and basically had fun at their expense.So, this juni was called and then he was asked to request a senior girl to come and stand in the centre of the circle.
So, he asked me to come . Next he was asked if he liked me or no.When he blushed and said yes he was asked to give 5 reasons why he liked me.So, the guy started of with," Ma'am stylish hain"
and the junta would be like'aaha..Ma'am stylish hain" and loads of 'ruchi is blushing guys, she likes this!" went on happening.
Poor guy he did name 5 things and if i remember correctly ,amongst the things he liked most about me were my gentle nature and gorgeous hair!
hehe..anywayz..I digressed.
When it was time for us to leave, I suddenly realised we had messed up that place real bad.It was actually quite shameful, so , since no one would listen to me, I started picking up the garbage with my hands and made a pile of it. Then a couple of guys noticed what i was doing and then the junis were forced to clean up that place.

So, I hardly paid any attention to anybody that day, I was getting too much of it anywayz! So, at about 8 when I reached home, I got a teeny message on my cell.It was from P.
I think it went like this:

"hey, I think you were looking very beautiful today, I admire how sensitive you are about the envoirnment and I really like you. I have told you how I feel about you. Do tell me if you reciprocate any of it.I shall wait for your message"

I went into a state of semi shock:D
It was so unexpected , and no I did NOT reciprocate any of those feelings, whatever they were.
So, I did not reply.Infact I just switched off my cell and put it away .A day later when I switched it on, I saw about 20 messages from him
And each was more frantic than the other.He kept apologizing again and again!I was again quite taken aback and then immediately wrote backa reply and this is how it went.
"Lets forget this happened, okay?"

So we officially forgot about this. But we did not speak to each other for the remaining part of the entire year!
Not a single word.
Both of us pretended that the other did not exist in class.

We were hardly friends so I guess neither fo us missed anything..but then towards the end of 2nd year, a couple of guys started planning this major tech event. It was supposed to be major and had to be kept secret till all was ready coz of some kind of problems.
Now, P is the tech-est guy in our enitre year[for his placement interview the guy gave him 2 choices , asked him to write any one of the two porgrams, P gave him 8 choices, asked him which language he would like him to use!] and obvio he was very involved in the event, infact it was his baby.Two girls from the entire year knew about this and I was one of them...Then started many rounds of meetings etc..making the presentation to be shown to the faculty, deciding on the banners, the finances etc required me to spend a lot of time in college and in P's vicinity.That kind of broke the ice and we were soon on speaking terms though we used to speak about very work related matters .
Then I started getting messages from him...albeit of a different kind.

They would be one line messages-"Class cancelled"
"Bring 3 black and white pics for the registration "
and so on .
And that was all of the communication we used to ahve.
I would never message him a 'thankyou' and we hardly even looked at each other in class leave alone sit and jab.

And gradually I found myself relying more and more on his messages . And more often than not, P's messages were the only way I would find out about stuff.
He , in his own quiet way helped me more than any one in college has . On innumerable occassions P has saved me from trouble .Innumerable times.
And never has he even expected even a 'thank you'.Hell I completely ignored his messages so many many times.
For gossake ,I did not even realise it till my mother pointed it out to me.

During the placement season, He would message me about the forms to be filled , registrations to be done and all that blah.
I have never, till date, sent him one bit of information .

I dont know why but he completely ignores me in class. [ and they say girls are complicatd] and yet anything happens which might be important and he is the one who sends me that to-the-point message.

For the past three semesters he has been the person who has informed me of my result..
Each time the message has been same:
"Results declared, You have topped, congratulations."

So much so that this time,I did not wait for some call from someone who would tell me that the reults have been declared. I waited for his message.And it sure did come.
The same message, the same to the point, no frills attached style of messaging, and the same result!

Of late we sometimes speak on YM, he knows very little about me..and he doesnt ask much either.we speak either about some important stuff about college, or about CAT. He just writes free mocks for the heck of it,and gets 99.xx%ile in QA and Di and messes up english real bad.So we talk about all that. He knows I freak out when I write bad mocks and he tells me to not get so worked up.
That is all we talk about.

Today I got a slightly different and a reasonably agitated offline from him:
" I ask you to do just one thing- not get tense but why why why why do you not listen to me!"
Apparently I had looked very tense in college today.

So, why am I here blogging about him ? I am surprised myself. Everyone says that after any kind of panga it is impossible to become friends. I hope real bad that he is just looking at us as friends coz there isnt anything else I have in my mind .
In retrospect, he has been the nicest person to me amongst all I have met here. He has helped me innumerable times. And I am truly grateful to him.

You have no idea, how many times I have wondered what would have happened had I not received that message/ offline from you at the right time.You have never expected anything in return for your help.Not even a thank you . You have just helped me out whenever you could .
And heyy, isnt that what a true friend is supposed to do?
Thank you, Friend.

The P.L.A.N.

*maxx sinster, gunda type luk*

The unsuspecting victim : Mum.

The gundaz working in collusion: Dad, Bhai and I.

The plot:
So, Mum turns a year older on the 17th of this month . She thinks that it is going to be another of those birthdays when we do nothing and nothing happens.
But.
She is wrong!
The Gunda committee here has a plan up its not so respectable sleeve . If all goes according to plan , this is what is going to happen on that day:
On the 17th of september ,at around 2:00 pm, Dad is going to call us at home and suggest this brilliant idea of eating out.I shall act all enthusiastic about it and goad Ma to dress up well(God knows she does not need any kind of goading for that !).
By 2:30 Mum , Dad and I shall reach the restaurant.
Waiting for us would be two of Mum's bestest friends!!! Mum should be pleased (if she is not she should atleast pretend that she is!) and after the initial excitement has quietend a bit ,we shall settle down for a quiet lunch.
I shall have to make sure that Mum's back is towards the entrance.
Just before, we start lunch, I shall say something like," Okay, Ma , there is one tiny surprize waiting for you, lemme make the essential call"

The call that I shall make would be to Bhai who would be somewhere in the vicinity of the restaurant at that time.
The essential thing here is that Ma has no clue that Bhai would be in city. For all practical purposes, for her, Bhai should be trekking his way to the sacred caves in Vaishno devi with his friends.
So, I make that call and say something like'Yess, please" and that call would be the cue for bhai to head for our table from where evr he is.
and sometime later, as soon as Bhai has reached close enough to our table, Dad will ask mum to turn around!
annnnnnndddddddd Voilaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Bhai shall be right there, not hundreds of kilometres away!!!!!
Along with two of his bestest buddies ,with flowers and gifts and loads of shorr sharaba!!


That is our plan.
Ma thinks Bhai will return on the 27th of september. And right now Ma is not speaking to bhai coz instead of coming home he is going to spend more time with his friends .So, she is not talking to him.

Bhai must have had a gala time today when Ma asked him the exact details of his trip, which train is he goingt o take? when will he reach where?! And so on..

Bhai and I speak in hushd tones these days as we chalk out the details of the plan.Bhai shall reach here on the 16th itself.He will stay at his friends place for the night, though bhai and I plan to meet up on 16th itself, mum shall get to meet him only on sundayy!!

I hope we can pull it off!
I hope we can do something nice for someone who does everything for us.

Will keep you guys updated on the PLAN.

Preparaing for Billi is a roller coaster ride..
For some time now, though my %ile stayed within and around 97%ile only, my scores had been increasing bit by bit ..I was , for once becoming optimistic ...

But I have just given two terrible mocks in a span of two days...and by terrible I really mean terrible...

And today as I was about to get out of the hall after writing the IMS Mock , I was so sure that if ANYONE asked me about my scores , I would burst into tears...I know, you all know what a cry baby I am ..but it has been ages since I cried coz of something related to padhai...
No, I did not create a scene at the test centre but I bawled my head off at home..screamed and shouted at Mum,in short acted like the pig I happen to be..

There is this girl who manages a 99+%ile in each and every Mock she writes and off late she ahs been calling me up like 3 times each day and I ahve to listen to half an hour of how good she is, how great her accuracy is and how if the all india highest score in english is 38, hers should be 39..and all that blah...I do not wish her ill at all..but it is now getting on my nerves..having to listen to her non stop.I mean often if we are together for say 2 hours, she speaks for 1 hours and 60 minutes.
Today I went for the Mock trying my best to avoid her..She was the last thing I needed, I did not linger outside the test centre scared that I might bump into her and hurried inside..I was handed my room and seat number and I soon located it.
Sitting right next to me was...yess... you guessed it right!!!!
So , for the next half an hour I just nodded my head and she talked non stop about her city rank 2 and all that blah....and then I wrote the horrible Mock

So, in short things are messed up quite a bit...sometimes I see people in my batch hanging out with their respective gfz/bfz talking laughing and having a grand time while I sit with some stupid MOCK that I have messed up yet again....Even if there was some hope of my getting thru some good college I would not mind it a bit..but

Anyways Mum says that one can never know what might happen in those two and a half hours on 19th of november..so I will keep on trying..
As it is , I think I just worry more than I work...Ineed to change that...and I will..
BHai will be back this Sunday. Then I will not have to commute on my own at all! Thta will so nice , you know..It is sickening at times, the way these guys will go out of their way to make life difficult for girls....During the first terrible mock I wrote on saturday there was this 35-40 year old riting the test sitting two places away from me, he saw me ,put down his pencil, and kept on staring at me! I mean non stop !It freaked me out so bad and in the middle of the test I changed my place....
I mean jeez mann! Get a life.
Even I do not have a life..i mean i so do not have a life, but i do not go around test centres leering at girls 20 years younger to me!

Then after the test the gentleman decided to it would be nice idea to stalk me .So he kept following me ...and it so freaked me out....I was so upset as it is coz the mock had been a horrible one and i had messed up it real bad and then the old guy!
Then today, these guys on 3 separate bikes decided circling around poor moi in true filmy ishtyle would be a nice way to pass time . I was like a kilomtere from my house and I wondered if I shall be abducted so close to my house!
I was so scared !I mean what fun can anyone get out of scaring a girl who has not harmed you in anyway , like this!How can anyone do this!
It does not make sense to me...dont these guys have girls in their families...it is all so unsafe these days.Infact it has always been this way for girls..

I am getting fed up with everything, really I am.
I have had enough of commuting on my own.
Enough of guys
enough of mocks
enough of being independent--gosh i hate it so!
enough of every stupid thing on this planet!

GIRL

Part 4.

We need a sturdy horse.
We need to get on it and gallop through the next couple of years . And as we rush past , we catch glimpses of First born growing up , we see Girl stitching, sewing , cooking and cleaning happily for her husband and son.
We also see Girl and Boy becoming the proud parents of another son !!
We see the two boys becoming the greatest of buddies...we also mark how often poeple take the two boys to be twins.
The same milk white complexion,dark brown eyes, pink lips, the same sharp features .

As we come to a halt and get down our respective horses, we see that FB(first born) is in class 4 and SB(Second born) is in class 2.
Though the financial condition is still not very good, yet slowly but steadily, the popularity of Boy as a doctor is on the rise.
Boy is now spending more and more time at the clinic ;the kids are going to school and are beginning to show their worth there and Girl, for the first time in many years , now has some hours to herself.

When I began telling you this tale,a month agao, I started with information about Girl's academic background. For those who do not remember, Girl had studied only till class 4. No matter how much she herself wanted to study and no matter how much her mother wanted her to study, girls were not allowed to study and nothing could be done about it.

But...
(aah...we again come across this word )
Girl had her husband's example. He had pursued his dream of becoming a doctor against everyones wishes and whats more he had actually succeeded in doing what he wanted to.

Girl had been married for over 13 years now and she had stopped studying about 25 years ago, but now there were books at home; books belonging to FB and SB.
Girl could read and write Bengali easily, could write a little bit of Hindi and knew nothing of English.

But... she wanted nothing more than to study.
She wanted nothing more than to be an educated person.
She knew that Boy would never allow her to got to school again.
She knew her Mother in law would make life hell for her if she found out about Girl.
And what about society?
Surely, Doctor sahib's wife cannot go to school .

So, then she started sitting with FB and SB when FB would teach his younger brother , the Hindi alphabets.

'ka, kha ga gha ', FB would say in a loud and clear voice.
'ka kha ga gha', SB would repeat in a timid voice.
'ka kha ga gha', Girl would say in her head.

She would have a look at the letter 'ka' written on the slate by SB ; and spend the next day looking for the letter in the Hindi newspaper that they used to get each morning.

When there was no one at home, she would take out the newspaper and stare at it for hours trying to locate her letter for the day ; talking to herself all the while.
There is 'ka'...ohh..and there it is again...what could it mean...what is the editor saying? Is he talking about Kanpur? or about a Kabutaar??

Ohhh..If only I could put in how words how badly Girl wanted to read, how enticing the world of books appeared to her.
How helpless she felt.

Tucked away in the remotest of corners were thin paper bound books , SB's old books which Girl would take out when no one would be home, books that would be quickly shoved under the low stool that Girl sat on as she cooked if somone entered the kitchen while she was studying her letters.

Then Girl came to a decision.
Shoving aside all pride...Girl decided to do something which if her husband found out , she was sure to be thrown out of the house.
She went to the boys' school, asked SB's teacher to come out of the class she was teaching and said,

" Main aapke student ki Ma hoon, main padna chahati hu, kya aap mujhe padhayengi?"

Girl ,
Part 3

So, we meet Girl(http://smilethesmile.blogspot.com/2006/08/dadi-update-well.html) again albeit after a long time but we meet her nevertheless.

So, SIL and Girl made their way to the big hospital and it took the doctors two minutes to tell SIL that they could easily make out what was wrong with Girl . The situation is bad ,they said, though common and many women loose their life in childbirth due to this particular complication.We cannot save the child , infact it is difficult for us to save Girl’s life either.,they added, but

Aahh..the word ‘but’, it fascinates me .

But, a team of Australian doctors has just set up camp in a nearby hospital . They came just yesterday, from Australia to educate Indian doctors in this kind of operation! Maybe they can help.

Girl had travelled hundreds of kilometres and the doctors had travelled thousands to be there in the nick of time when Girl needed them the most.Our friend Mr God, sitting right up there smiled another of his smiles as Girl was wheeled into the spic and span room for the first operation of its kind in the country.

Mr God, flicking away a strand of snow white hair, smiled another smile as a mere 10 minutes later, a white rabbit like little boy with a snow white complexion and a pink nose, wrapped in a ‘made in Autralia’ towel was placed in the hands of SIL while Girl continued to fight for her life inside the O.T.

He continued to smile , as a couple of hours later, Girl regained consciousness after what had been an extremely successful operation , looked at her first born, in SIL’s arms, a boy who was not meant to live,and then again looked at SIL and said,’Di, how will this boy ever repay you for what you have done ! He owes his life to you, Di, he can never repay you.”

And He smiled.

When we had started this chapter in Girl’s life , firstborn was as good as dead and Girl was fighting for her life.And just a couple of lines later, thanks to people from a different country who were not even meant to be in the picture , not only is Girl hale and hearty but Firstborn has..err..been born!

It is said He works wonders. Maybe this is what they really mean when they say that
. First Born was not meant to come into this world, all odds were against him.Yet he defied all and proudly survived .He did so simply because of something that was stronger and more powerful than all logic ,reasoning, permutation and combination put together.
He was destined to live.


So, here I proudly present First born to you.
A couple of hours old and yet burdened with the heaviest of debts –the debt of life
A child alive solely because of a large dose of the supremest of luck .
A newborn alive because he was destined to be.
A baby born out of the latest medical technology.

God’s own child.

And as we shall see, the medicos never really leave him for long.


Gudnite.
Ruchi.

Results

Well, the 6th sem results are finally out!There is good news and bad.
I topped again...but I just have 79%. Now an 80+% is like supposed to be supremely unattainable types but I used to get it!!!!!
I mean this is my first sub 80 score!
And boy, do I hate it!
I mean I am not even thinking once about the fact that I am the topper but am just feeling so wretched about it not being 80+
I know, i know, I am being supremely silly..but I cannot help it.
I am sucha bad looser!

Moreover I am not the department topper this sem either..though am if you take the aggregate scores. BUt that is not a consolation.
*sigh*

Okay..lets chill...I was studying for CAT till the just 4 days before the end sem began and maybe I deserved this score.
Plus I did top, right?
So like I should look at the good and not crib at the bad which is not so bad either.

Okay so I have let my steam and now am okay with even the stupid silly sub 80 score!

so, cheers guys!! and a round hamar ghar ka sizzling hot sudh desi ghee ke tadke waali daal, chawal and aam ka achchar for everyone here at Raam pyaariz!
NZOI!

Shilly post.

For all ye shilly poeple!

So, I gave myself a pedicure today before I went out for a family function(wore the blue saare as you can all see*bows before all*).I simply love wearing sarees!!!
It is a pity that I do not get to wear them often!


My feet are in a very bad condition. infact it was after 5-6 months today, that I spent some time on my feet..
Poor neglected souls.

It was OSSSUUMM to pamper myself.

Simply OSSUUUMM.

Gunite.
I am about to complete my PhD in riting silly posts.I shall soon have a big 'D' and a tiny 'r' before my name.
Dr. R Pyaari.
Ahem.

P.S. I just realised that my feet dont look as if they belong to somone who can be soo stupid.
P.S That is again very stupid.
P.S Hence and therefore I deserve my degree. haah!*proud luk*

wohhkayyy

Okay...no more rona dhona,
Atleast for the moment.
ha ha ha ha

Okay...I shall cut the crap..anywayz...gave a mock SNAP and the centre incharge spent a good 15 minutes trying to convince me that with the kind of percentiles I am getting right now, if all goes well, I have a good chance of getting some calls.
Ha ha ha!
I spent the next 15 minutes trying to convince him that unless some miracle happens, I shall be another one amongst the millions of thoroughly exploited s/w enggs one hears about , spending days and nights coding crap.

I hope he is right and I am wrong!
ha!

Anaywayz..another of the aunties came along today...there is poor me sitting with a TIME booklet , struggling to understand what' 3 dozen apples' means[ I swear i could not understand it..my head was soo fuzzy!]..when saunterd in Mrs T.
After the not-at-all essential formalities were completed she put up THE question.
"toh, Mrs Misra[meaning mum] kya socha wocha hai apne apani bitiya ki shaadi waadi ka"

My Mum is sane .
Most of time.
BUt then my Mami whose daughter has just moved into 2nd year Btech is looking for boy and I am about to wrap up my degree and there is no sign of any boy, I can understand her situation at times...I mean, Mum on her own is okay and super chill about stuff...but then the bad influence the Mamiz and the chachiz have on her..*sigh*

So, coming back to Mrs. T.
" IIT-IIM combination market mein sabse hot hai is waqt , usase kam ka ladka mat dekhiyega"

*three, four sighs*

I dont know if people who talk about guys from IIT-IIM being hot property are worth blogging about but still when she said this sentence, I dunno why but the picture of bread on a red hot tawa came to my mind.
In my family, the trend per se is to go in for guys with IIT+IIM degrees.

As in that is the bare minimum.If you wanna marry a girl from our family you'd better have these two degrees tucked under your belt.

And as I see one cuzn after the other being married off to a 'hot property' I have often wondered what these degrees signify.
Yess , it means that the guy has a grand 100 digit IQ.Agreed.
It also signifies that the guy is a hard working chap, atleast can be once in a while.. Sure thing!

It almost ensures that you will go to Switzerland for your honeymoon and live in the poshest of places round the globe all throughout your married life.

Anything else?
No, for me nothing more.
And before you jump to conclusions let me add that I have nothing against any insti or anything..it is just the way these degrees are being spoken about these days that is irking me.

Is not , very pragmatically speaking, the temperamant of the guy of greater consequence?
You might be from the bestest insti on Pluto[ poor pooor ex planet!] but if the guy is a ..say a big time flirt which girl will be happy with him.

I also do not understand how suitcases full of money ensure anything on this planet??!
On the contrary, too much of money can be extremely bad!!!!I personally would much rather have a sufficient amount of money than be filthy rich!
If I had a girl to marry off I would look for a guy with his heart in the right place, someone who values traditions and has certain principles he lives by.And then if , added to that he hails from the bestest instis we have here, that would be very nice....Dunno why people think the way they think!
*sigh*


Anywayz..so, coming back to the Mrs. T.
So, then Mum said that I was preparing for CAT and nothing about any guy will be discussed at home untill I go to mum and say that I am done with studies .
hmmm..
But Aunty was insistent.
she knows a boy.
(aaha!)
And she started off , telling Mum about the guy.
1. he is from IIT-dunno which one.
2. is from IIM -dunno which one
3.Does not drink
4.does not smoke
5.Father is an IAS officer---hence loads of doh number ka paisa at home...(ewwwkkksss)
6.iss ladke ko chodiye matt.
7.aisa mauka baar baar haath nahi aayega.
8. bass ek baar un logon se mil aaiye.
9.arre, koi baat Btech khatam nahi hua..boht padhai ho gayi..chudwa dijiye Btech abb..
*:O:O:O*
My Mum was looking thoroughly fed up with her and so was I ..and we spenta lot of time exchanging sly glances!
Suddenly it struck me that 3dozen =3*12=36 apples!!!!

I mentally yipppeeeed. Got up with a biiiggg smile and left the room to hurry back to the TIME booklet.
As I left Mrs T, in a not so inuadible whisper said to a completely taken aback Mum,"lagta hai sharma gayi"


ewwwkkkksssssss
ewwwwkkkkkksssss
ewwwwwkkkkkksssss

So totally 'ewwwkkkssss'!

Nothing is sorting itself out...
It has been 5 years now....I had always counted days...now when I know I shall be leaving soon, it does not offer any solace.
I have now realised you can never be happy if people important to you are not happy, no matter how far you might be from the them.

As I sit back and think, I can recall just one or two AIMCATs that I have given and have not cried on the way to the test centre.Its been the same way..I remembr the JEE prelims. No, I do not remember the JEE exam it self but I remember other things..
Some how or the other even during the year I dropped ..I just remeber one thing.Then all through out engg....the same thing..I did not know then who was right and who wrong...but sadly I know now..I can see it...
I wish I could not..
I hate hating poeple...I cannot bear it...

And no, I know I am not an inherently unhappy person but it is difficult to be remotely happy in these circumstances.
Sometimes i so long for it...I have craved for it..but things are out of my hand now..
It is wierd how I much I can hate that one person who is the most important one in many poeples lives.

But no, I do not feel guilty about it..I cannot feel guilty about it.
But then I think that it is all about destiny.
It is in our destiny to bear all this.
So, we shall have to....that final freedom from all this rubbish called life.....

What do I do? What can I do?
Is there any way out of this....most probably no...mebbe we just have to live with it.But I know that the person suffering the most least deserves something of this kind...where did it go wrong??
Why is it so wrteched ?
Evryone has such problems??? NO, I do not think so...

Some people envy me. And I do not find anything funnier than that..
I sometimes look at random people and just want to leave this wretched life and become them...
But that would mean leaving the most imporatnt person alone here...
That shall not be done.
No matter how bad things get..no matter how much I cry and no matter how weak you think I am..please know that weak and feeble I might be..but I shall be by your side no matter what..
just hang on..
there will be better times...

I will make things better for you..just hang on....one or two years...justa couple of years....the best part of your life is yet to come...
just hang on...


P.S.--I had started an anonymous blog for wretched things of this kind that I need to put down lest I burst..but that did not happen.Am disabling comments simply coz you guys (darlings though you all are) have no idea what I riting about..

The Power of Prayer..

For most of you the incident that I am about to narrate shall have little significance but this is the first time I have seen something of this sort happen and hence it is something worth blogging about for me..

Of late I have been having a tough time…things are going wrong , I am spending more time crying and worrying these days than ,I guess , I have ever before. But well, this is part of life and if there are going to be good times, there are bound to be bad times as well..

Anywayz..
Amongst the many worries I have been besotted with , one of them has been Bhai.
Now, Bhai is a super chilled guy, who is always ready with a stupid yet terribly funny one liner no matter how bad the situation might be.Also he is as optimistic. as I am pessimistic

So, Bhai is gving is first proffz(exams) these days. The day he wrote his first paper(Bio Chem) he called us up at 12:30 in the night .He told Mum that he had messed up that days exam and as he was saying that he started crying.
There is something about hearing your younger brother, who happens to be thousands of kilometers away from you and whom you have not seen for about 6 months , cry that wrenches your insides .
You want to just do anything that you can do to put things right for your sibling, but you know you cannot.
The last I had seen/heard him cry was about 6 years ago…and as I heard him cry every atom inside me knotted itself with every other atom inside me culminating into a a feeling of supremest unease and helplessness.

So, the next day we continously called up Bhai, he said he had gone completely blank during the biochem paper and he had left things he was supremely comfortable with.

Also, for the first time since he left home, Bhai told me that he has had enough of this crap called hostel life and he just wants to come home.

There was nothing that we could do , sitting thousands of kilometres away from him .So, Mum decided it was time we started praying( in case bhai messes up a paper it could easily cost him six months and also last year only 4 northies had managed to pass all 3 subjects) .
The next paper was Anatomy..the most dreaded subject .Bhai kept on saying that he was not able to recall all the stuff he had been mugging up for the past 2 months. The helplessnes in his voice was as novel as it was disturbing.I have never heard him sound so low and each time I would speak to him , I would send a prayer to the heavens above asking Him to help him out.

The next day , Mum sat down with her meditation( which she does normally also) at 2:30, Bhai ‘s exam would have begun by 2 o’clock.

I spoke to an audibly relieved Bhai at 5:30 and this is what he had to narrate :

The exam conditions in his med school are extreme! The students assemble inside the huge hall at 1:20.The hall is locked from the inside and then the University releases the exam paper on the net.The print outs are taken out there itself and then distributed to the students. The invigilators consist extrenal faculty with just one internal invigilator and they happen to be very strict with ‘aaju-baaju dekhana’ going on.Unlike engg colleges, teachers cannot help students at all, and no cheating is allowed.

When Bhai got his question paper, something happened, I am not sure what , and 10 people were shifted from the big hall to another smaller room and the internal invigilator assigned to that room.

So, bhai sat down to do his paper.He looked at the first question . He had made that diagram atleast a hundred times.He picked up his pen to write and his mind went blank.

He left a page and started with the next question which was something that was at his fingertips and there again his mind went blank.

This continued for the next half an hour during which he could not come up with a single word and his answer script was blank.

He is not the sorts who do this, but at about 2:30 , the same time Mum sat down for her meditation he went up to the invigilator and told him that he was unable to recall anything.
The invigilator was very surprised…as he knew that Bhai is a good student and he had been performing well consitantly all throughout the year.
He then said ‘ See, I can do just one thing, I will stand outside the room for two minutes you can use those two minutes to have a look at your neighbour’s answer sheet.Will that help?’
‘Yess, ‘, said Bhai.

He needed just one look at the diagram for evrything to come back to him.
In the remaining 2.5 hours Bhai did 23/24 questions. One is partially wrong and the rest are okay.

As, he came out of the room at 5, Mum got up from her meditation.

Later bhai told me that this was for he first time that such mismanagement had happened in his college that resulted in 10 students being shifted to another room.
Also, the internal invigilators are not supposed to in any room ,alone.This was the first time that that had happened,
Also, the internal invigilator guy was reputed to be amongst the strictest people around and this is the first case of his helping another student
And I know for a fact that this was the first time that Bhai, who is very shy when it comes to all this, went up to a invigilator with this kind of a problem.

And you know what Mum and continuously muttered during the 2.5 hours she was praying for Bhai?
She asked God to do whatever it took to help him.Even if that required him being present there to help out Bhai.

Bhai finished with his theory papers today at 5 in the evening.He was very relieved, had done the paper well and is going for a movie tonight.
The practicals begin after 17 days and after that on the 13th of september Bhai will be home again after 6 months.

Good night and sleep tight.
Ruchi.

Arbit rubbish

Okay, so yesterday, completely frustrated with my quant marks in the latest AIMCAT, I decided to not write CAT, sell the CAT form and buy myself a nice pair of Levis with that money.
But then a little voice in my head asked me if I really meant the threat that I was threatening myself with .
No, I did not.

Thats the way I am .
Sometimes I get a major kick out of the rubbish drama that I do.I think I would be the winner of the 'International Drama Queen Worlwide 'Competition , were poeple more sensible and did organise useful competitions of this kind rather than wasting money and energy in organisng Olympiads and such crap.
Anywayz...All great men have teachers who inspire them...and my greatest inspiration comes from my teacher..

There was this teacher in class 8, who was as conky as I was, am and shall always be.She actually cried in front of the whole class just coz I was crying!
Can you beat that!!!
As far as I can recall..I used to be her pet.Maxxxx waala.And she was maxxx senti about me.
So one fine day she gave me some work of tremendous importance which I did.Something happened and she thought I had messed it up and she shouted at me and I cried buckets .But as luck would have it she soon realised that she was wrong and that I had done the work as per the instructions.
So, she felt very sorry ..and she said she was sorry and then she cried infront of the class and told us some stuff about Jesus ..cried a little more, patted my head and told us a little more about Jesus and the spirit of forgiveness.
And then she asked me to forgive her.
I debated whether it would be okay if I patted her head , but then I dropped the idea and said something like,"Ma'am , please don't say that" and tried to look kind and forgiving and imagined a camera focussed on me and some kind gentle music playing in background.In the next scene I imagined myself in a flowing white gown, in some exotic place looking gently into the camera while the junta watching sighed and hoped that their daughters would turn into women as kind and gentle as I was.


She has been my inspiration when it comes to drama ever since that fateful day.

There are some poeple who are always camera conscious.Does not matter if there isnt a camera infront of them.They just think that there is a camera focussing on them .Always.
There is this I-put-10-kgs-of-makeup-for-the-EU-class-each-day girl at my choching.She sits , flicks her hair, puts one hand on the other and smiles as she stares at the leg of the table while the teacher drones on and on and on about the subtle difference between 'few ' and 'a few'.
Now, I always think that the I-put-10-kgs-of-makeup-for-the-EU-class-each-day girl thinks there is a camera focussed on her.She walks slowly and smiles at the walls and the A.C and the table .Her eyes always have that glassy look and sometimes I have seen her pout at the wall, her head turned a 180 degrees from the teacher.

She has a bevy of not-so-good-looking girls who ideolise her. They wipe seats with their hankys before she sits on them and they hang on each and every word she says.
And sometimes, just sometimes, she is kind enough to brighten their day and make their existence worthwhile by giving them a half smile.

Aaaahh..the power of being beautiful ....???hmmm...I wonder!

There was this maths teacher I had..and she was one poor lost soul . She would enter the class , say something abstract that no one would understand.
and then pull out a black glove from her bag.
Yess a black glove with a red frilly lace all around it.
She would wear that and only then use the chalk to write on the blackboard.Her bun was hollow..really it was...as in you could see thru it...
She could never explain anything vaguely related to maths to any girl in the class...but she knew her stuff...so she had my respect.

There was another female who tried to teach us.She was very H.S. and could not tolerate the non AC class rooms that we had.So, in the break she would scoop her two daughters from their respective classes, sit in her car, switch on the ac and correct copies while her daughters ate their lunch.
Aapparently, she had cleared the I.A.S but then she met and fell in love with a surd and so she then left the ossumm job to teach us .
aaahhh...the power of love?
Anyways..she taught us G.K in class 11.There was tremendous drama that used to go on during her G.K lessons..we would write stuff like 'what I would like my friends to remember me as when I die' on pieces of paper and worse still, read them in front of the class.
And we were to get our GK note books each day.
Incase we forgot to get them we would have to write apology letters which would begin with
"repsected Mma'am,
I am deepely ashamed of my behaviour today as I ,at the age of 17 years forgot to get my GK notebook and hence commited the heinous crime any student would much rather die than be guilty of.I am so ashamed of myself that I am ready to give myself up at the altar of the supremest of sacrifices.My action which has had major international repurcussions, is something I shall regret all my life.PLease take my lungs , nose, ears, kidneys* etc but, please forgive me.I think I will die thinking about the sheer magnitude of the crime I am guilty of .
I beg for forgiveness from both you and Jesus.and shall never repeat this again.
Yours sinecerely,
XYZ

P.S you are an H.S goddess who cleared the I.A.S.
*P.S. you can also take my intestines, but please exonerate me of this crime.
P.S . you daughters are li'l angels.

"
or some crap of that kind
I forgot to get my notebook on two different occassions and hence had to write the crappy letter twice thereby wasting precious paper which could have put to much better use by using it to make paper airplanes.

On second thoughts I could have played naughts and crosses on that paper and then used it to make paper planes.
What tragic waste of paper
*sigh*

Kutch shilly-ishtupid ho jaye??

Ok, yess I know, I said I know!!!This should be about Girl, but you see, it is 11:30 right now and I do not have any deemag left that can be used to wrire a sensible post which actually has some meaning..so something meaningless it shall be:)

Now, the thing is that there has been loads of haevy stuff on this blog for some time now..toh I thought, it was high time I went back to my dear old rubbish and wrote maxx rubbish to entertain myself.
Now, my mind is blank and I cannot think of a single thing to write!!!

Okay...I have been dying to catch a maxxx istupidd for so long now!!! and the two recent ones that I watched have included Coporate and Omkara!!
I think the Akshay Kumar type of comedy totally rocks! I dunno why ppl go to thetares to catch some serious rona dhona...gosh..I would much rather be falling down my chair laffing over something supremely isshtupd than watch Ajay Devgan stifle Kareena Kapoor to death!
*sigh*

'Ajay Devgan' brings back sad, depressing memories..
My maid's daughter told me recently that I look like Ajay Devgan...that has had a profound effect on my delicate brain.
Will somone pls tell me honestly if I like really really look like Ajay Devgan ?
Well..for starters I do not have a moustache!
Ouch!
neither does Ajay !

Anyways...there is this girl in my batch at TIME, who like puts on 10 kilos of makeup for a stupid EU class..
When she is about to enter class the guys start leaning forward to catch a glimpse of the golden haired goddess ..the girls..they exchange glances as they keep a close eye on their respective Bfz...

I dunno...even when I am like totally dressed..rearing to go types..I generally go in for a tiny si bindi (in case I wear an indian dress) , some kajal and a little gloss..thats it..
When i dress up properly ppl get shocked.
I receive compliments like" aaj toh sundar lag rahi ho!I simply could not recognise you"

yeah! yeah! right right !!


what a compliment!


p.s.
dadi is okay.
Do I look like AD???

Too messed to put up any sensible post right now...
mebbe , in a couple of days..

Sorry about not keeping my promise:(