Preparaing for Billi is a roller coaster ride..
For some time now, though my %ile stayed within and around 97%ile only, my scores had been increasing bit by bit ..I was , for once becoming optimistic ...

But I have just given two terrible mocks in a span of two days...and by terrible I really mean terrible...

And today as I was about to get out of the hall after writing the IMS Mock , I was so sure that if ANYONE asked me about my scores , I would burst into tears...I know, you all know what a cry baby I am ..but it has been ages since I cried coz of something related to padhai...
No, I did not create a scene at the test centre but I bawled my head off at home..screamed and shouted at Mum,in short acted like the pig I happen to be..

There is this girl who manages a 99+%ile in each and every Mock she writes and off late she ahs been calling me up like 3 times each day and I ahve to listen to half an hour of how good she is, how great her accuracy is and how if the all india highest score in english is 38, hers should be 39..and all that blah...I do not wish her ill at all..but it is now getting on my nerves..having to listen to her non stop.I mean often if we are together for say 2 hours, she speaks for 1 hours and 60 minutes.
Today I went for the Mock trying my best to avoid her..She was the last thing I needed, I did not linger outside the test centre scared that I might bump into her and hurried inside..I was handed my room and seat number and I soon located it.
Sitting right next to me was...yess... you guessed it right!!!!
So , for the next half an hour I just nodded my head and she talked non stop about her city rank 2 and all that blah....and then I wrote the horrible Mock

So, in short things are messed up quite a bit...sometimes I see people in my batch hanging out with their respective gfz/bfz talking laughing and having a grand time while I sit with some stupid MOCK that I have messed up yet again....Even if there was some hope of my getting thru some good college I would not mind it a bit..but

Anyways Mum says that one can never know what might happen in those two and a half hours on 19th of november..so I will keep on trying..
As it is , I think I just worry more than I work...Ineed to change that...and I will..
BHai will be back this Sunday. Then I will not have to commute on my own at all! Thta will so nice , you know..It is sickening at times, the way these guys will go out of their way to make life difficult for girls....During the first terrible mock I wrote on saturday there was this 35-40 year old riting the test sitting two places away from me, he saw me ,put down his pencil, and kept on staring at me! I mean non stop !It freaked me out so bad and in the middle of the test I changed my place....
I mean jeez mann! Get a life.
Even I do not have a life..i mean i so do not have a life, but i do not go around test centres leering at girls 20 years younger to me!

Then after the test the gentleman decided to it would be nice idea to stalk me .So he kept following me ...and it so freaked me out....I was so upset as it is coz the mock had been a horrible one and i had messed up it real bad and then the old guy!
Then today, these guys on 3 separate bikes decided circling around poor moi in true filmy ishtyle would be a nice way to pass time . I was like a kilomtere from my house and I wondered if I shall be abducted so close to my house!
I was so scared !I mean what fun can anyone get out of scaring a girl who has not harmed you in anyway , like this!How can anyone do this!
It does not make sense to me...dont these guys have girls in their families...it is all so unsafe these days.Infact it has always been this way for girls..

I am getting fed up with everything, really I am.
I have had enough of commuting on my own.
Enough of guys
enough of mocks
enough of being independent--gosh i hate it so!
enough of every stupid thing on this planet!