It has been 5 years now....I had always counted days...now when I know I shall be leaving soon, it does not offer any solace.
I have now realised you can never be happy if people important to you are not happy, no matter how far you might be from the them.
As I sit back and think, I can recall just one or two AIMCATs that I have given and have not cried on the way to the test centre.Its been the same way..I remembr the JEE prelims. No, I do not remember the JEE exam it self but I remember other things..
Some how or the other even during the year I dropped ..I just remeber one thing.Then all through out engg....the same thing..I did not know then who was right and who wrong...but sadly I know now..I can see it...
I wish I could not..
I hate hating poeple...I cannot bear it...
And no, I know I am not an inherently unhappy person but it is difficult to be remotely happy in these circumstances.
Sometimes i so long for it...I have craved for it..but things are out of my hand now..
It is wierd how I much I can hate that one person who is the most important one in many poeples lives.
But no, I do not feel guilty about it..I cannot feel guilty about it.
But then I think that it is all about destiny.
It is in our destiny to bear all this.
So, we shall have to....that final freedom from all this rubbish called life.....
What do I do? What can I do?
Is there any way out of this....most probably no...mebbe we just have to live with it.But I know that the person suffering the most least deserves something of this kind...where did it go wrong??
Why is it so wrteched ?
Evryone has such problems??? NO, I do not think so...
Some people envy me. And I do not find anything funnier than that..
I sometimes look at random people and just want to leave this wretched life and become them...
But that would mean leaving the most imporatnt person alone here...
That shall not be done.
No matter how bad things get..no matter how much I cry and no matter how weak you think I am..please know that weak and feeble I might be..but I shall be by your side no matter what..
just hang on..
there will be better times...
I will make things better for you..just hang on....one or two years...justa couple of years....the best part of your life is yet to come...
just hang on...
P.S.--I had started an anonymous blog for wretched things of this kind that I need to put down lest I burst..but that did not happen.Am disabling comments simply coz you guys (darlings though you all are) have no idea what I riting about..
