Monday, May 29, 2006

Raat koh barah baje

It is 11:45 and I am a bit sleepy. I had written a crappy post on 'luurrvvveeee' but something went wrong , the universe conspired to prevent u guys from reading a supremely crappy post.
So, we will leave luv-shuv and the suchlike for later simply coz I have had enough of luv-shuv for a whole year tuday!

I am a sissy.
I am, there is no doubt in my mind about it now.I am scared of silly things , most of the time I cannot say whats on my mind and all that blah. No, no, no do not conjure a picture of someone who is as quiet as a mouse, quite on the contrary..its just that I avoid saying whats on my mind most of the time if I think that that might be the cause of some potential friction...

And at times I dislike it real bad . I am scared of useless things..really ...like speeding cars scare me , people fighting scare me..infact at times I find it difficult to breathe if someone is fighting in my vicinity . If you have a problem, talk it out or better still keep shut, but screaming and shouting...chee cheee

Apart from this , end sems finished..welll I am done with the theory atleast. Final year, here i cummmmmmmmmmmm:D

Gosh, I cannot believe it, three years gone....just one more to go.I wonder if I will miss college, most probbaly not...
but then thats what I used to say about leaving school and if i remembr correctly ,I was crying like a baby the day we were to leave school for good (or bad :D )
But then 14 years in one place is a lot of time. I do not miss school much as in I do not miss the teachers or the girls but I miss (of all things) the buildings!

I so clearly recall my first day in college . True to my ishhtyle ,I was sooooooo scared :D .At that point of time, a seemingly never ending sea of semesters stretched before me....and now only 2 remain .

There is one thing that has been on my mind very often of late.
Mum Dad and I.
Whether I work or I do my MBA(God plz plz plz plz plz plz let it be the latter!!!)
I will have to leave home. So then it will just be Mum and Dad .

I know I am of no great help to either of them but I feel quiet seeing them infront of eyes, knowing that they are okay.
This other day we went out to eat and as I returned from the counter after having placed the order my eyes fell on Mum and Dad. Just two people. Till sometime back we were four, now we are three, and soon it will just be the two of them.
How will they manage????

My dad refuses to wear glasses( he is an eye surgeon...but dun ask me for the logic!!) so like it is difficult for him to read bills etc, I do that for him, if I go who will do that???

The DVD does not work and my Dad hollers for me . How will he manage later??

I'll be sitting in my room and my Mum will call for me, when I go to her she'll look sheepishly at me, point to the switch just out of reach and say," switch on karr doh!"
And I am like, you called me from the next room to switch on the switch a feet away from you????
My Mum nods her head .

When ever my Mum and my Dad fight, my mum pours her heart out to me....and if I am not here, who will she turn to??I am wayy too dumb to give her any solid advice, but atleast I listen....

All this is just the tip of the iceberg! I keep thinking of the time when my mum and dad will be older. Supposing my brother stays with them, what if my brothers wife is a real b****?? these are my parents, not hers! she wont take half as good care of them as I would!
What if my brothers kids speak rudely to them.
What if they are not given enough respect?
What if they end up being terribly unhappy ?

I know, i know, its silly to think about it, but I have seen people treat their own parents real bad . And it scares me no end .
Life does come a full circle....from them being apprhensive about my future, it is my turn to be apprehensive about theirs:)

I just hope and pray that I shall be able to do all that I can possibly do for them.

I have never known greater comfort than in pulling out mum's arm and resting my head on it.
I never sleep better than when I am sleeping next to Ma.
God bless you both .

41 comments:

pandora said...

arre aisa nahi hota hai. this is filmy i think. real life mein bhi aisa hota hai kya? i don't know...mereko idea nahi hai. but you yourself look for some sundar "susheel" kanya for your bhai. okie? and..I have no brother[s] meri case ka kya?..

pandora said...

and gold to me..:D:D

PS word verifictaion..fir se!! NAHIII!! :(((((((

Anonymous said...

Damn, I should not have read this post today and that too now :(

Raam Pyari said...

chotu singh: hota hai yaar..i have seen it happening, that is why i get apprehensive.

arre yahan ka gold, silver copper platinum sab meri cujjn ka re!
uss par tera haq hai!

anon: jee aap kaun?

Sumit Tada said...

The first thing that came to my mind on reading the heading was the offer letter that we got at 12:00 midnight!!!
And ya its true ki u realise near the end only ki itna time kaise nikal gaya!! In fact most of my seniors(who are shortly leaving college) really dont wanna go!! Though I think it wont be very difficult for me....
I so totally share the school building waali thought with you,moreover my old school is just around the corner, so whenevr I go for a walk that side,I cant stop thinking what all we did at that place and how good I felt about my school(and not-so-good about ppl there)....
Finally I really avoid talking about the last topic (i.e. me leaving home in one year)......last time it happened when I cleared the DCE exam(though later I dint go there)....and I just dont know what I will do this time. Na na I am not worried about myself coz I know its a fact that I WILL HAVE TO go..lekin meri mom ko yeh kaun samajhaye!! Even now she says ki kahin aas-paas hi job dhoond le!!!!

Sumit Tada said...

Hi......also look at the "why" part.......

Anonymous said...

Hey..nice blog :) have been visitin often though commentin for the first time here.

This post couldnt have come at a better time cos I can so totally relate to wat u r going thru. Am gonna start my MBA this July and have to leave my parents here in hyd. Am so worried abt wat my parents will do without me cos their lives revolve around me since the time my bro went abroad. Am so used to seeing them near me each waking day of my life thats its tough to imagine otherwise :(

Ok i know i havent been of much help but just wanted u to know that u got company in me ;)

-Namrata

Rebellion said...

Kya yaar Ruchi...

Rula diya yaar aapne mujhe is post se :((

Kya super senti post tha!!! Even I think a lot of all this...
Am kind of an all rounder at my house.. when some prob wid the PC, software or hardware.. fuse gone, electricity off, TV problem, music system not workin, TV tuning and dunno how many such chores which only ME in my house does! I always keep wondering who'll do all this and whom will my parents & bro turn to after am gone :(

I hope & pray that both our bro's get nice sweet susheel kanya's for themselves who'll take care of our parents like hers :)

Tusi fikar not.. (No no.. I can't help you in dat.. I can't even help myself on that) but woh hai na upar.. he'll look after it all :)

Tusi bas hasya karo.. Tension nahi lene ka bacchha :)

Keep Smiling,
God Bless You,
Take care,
Aarti

PS: At times I get very very filmy :| Kindly bear.. bole to, jhelna padega :D

Abhishek Upadhyay said...

Arre tera bhaim kaisa hai yaar.
I think from right now you can see traits of Joru Ka Ghulam in him.

Sabse easy eelaj bataun....search for a ghar jamai.

Saari problem solve.

niv said...

totally justified thoughts.
believe me, iv been through all this and more..i dont know whether i'll ever be able to do even a tenth of as much as they have done for me..
however things turn out, I want my parents to be the happiest and most content.God knows they deserve it.
:)
on anudr note..where the hell is that post??????????i was waiting for it and u dint post it!im not talking to you.

Raam Pyari said...

sumit: gudd yaar...tumhari ek tension nipati!
placements yayyyyyyyyy!!!
:D
:D
I chekd ur blog and have left a comment as well

namrata:
1. welcumm:)
2. congratulations fer getting thru B skul..btw which be skul are u headed fer now?

I know girls are sensitive to this topic...I have company !!!yayyyyyy!!

Friend: awwwwww
yaar..pls kabhi bhi meri post padh karr mat rona yaar:(
Its not worth it!
Apart from that
//bro's get nice sweet susheel kanya's for themselves
I hope so too!!!
beeg time!!!

//Tusi bas hasya karo
bhagvaan ne chaha toh agali post senti nee hogi, to make for ur tears!!
//At times I get very very filmy :|

me too.
enuf said.
:))

abhishek hehhee..bhai ke baare mein toh kutch bhi nee likha !!

//Sabse easy eelaj bataun....search for a ghar jamai
hahahhahah
hahhahahah
hhahaha

Raam Pyari said...

niv arrey yaar..firr lite chali gayi thi naa....
toh I lost the entire post!
and juss did not feel like riting it all over firr se!!!

maafi!!
maafi!!!
maafi deh doh sarkarrrr

Om said...

Hey,
Stumbled upon ur blog while surfing on blog referrals starting from http://mydayzwithmyself.

This post touched a chord somewhere as it reminded me of the time when i was in my final year of engg.

Keep blogging :)

Shreyansh said...

// Supposing my brother stays with them, what if my brothers wife is a real b****?? ......//

:DDD

Just dont think too much. Everything gets taken care of.

Anonymous said...

kya dii aap bhi naa...itna emotional post nahi maarna chahiye tha..main bhi senti ho gayi!!
aur UNCLE AUNTY ko meri taraf se ek jaadoo ki jhappi dene ka..aapko bhi haan:P!!...bahut sochte ho aap!-Ms.Happening!!!

How do we know said...

too cool! nice blog u have here!!

And yes, when i went to college and left my folks at home.. my friends called them up regularly to make sure my mom was not lonely.. Three Cheers to Mah Friends.. after all these years!!

Rebellion said...

Kya yaar..

'Friend' bhi kehte ho aur doooooor bhi kar dete ho?!?!!
Who are friends? Aap udaas, hum udaas.. aap khush, hum bhi khush :D
Hum sache dost hai yaar.. khaali naam nahi ginvaate :)

//"pls kabhi bhi meri post padh karr mat rona yaar:(
Its not worth it!"
X-( Agli baar aisa kuch kaha na to KATTI.. no more dosti then! These are not just your posts.. your emotions on paper, so never say they're not worth it ok!! X-(

Keep Smiling,
God Bless You,
Take care,
Aapki dost.. Friend :)

Kishley said...

i share ur thoughts too!!

Suds said...

Hey Sis very sweet post. Don't worry about future, everything will be fine. Life takes its own course. Make urself capable enough to help ur parent whenever they need it..

so in short now go and get ur MBA..:)

Suds said...

And ya... When when u come anywhere in US u are coming to meet us.:) Enjoy...

niv said...

yarr....listen! emergency ho gayi hai in submission work..
i have to work 2mrw..can we meet on 2nd instead?? i'll log in 2mrw as soon as i can..but im not guaranteeing..
sorrrrrrriiiee! :(
i HATE this!
meet u soon?

Sirius Black said...

aaah u in same sitn as i am :-s

Pradyot said...

A very sweet post. I have been in shoes of your brother. Left home at undergrad level and have been living out for 4 years now. I worried about the same things. But some how life works out things. :)

>>Supposing my brother stays with them, what if my brothers wife is a real b****??
Well the best you can do is not be a bitch to your in-laws and hope the same happens to your parents. (Though I am sure you will be a good 'bahu' :D)

Raam Pyari said...

i replied to all the comments twice!!!! Only to loose them both the times!!!
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
:((

satish said...

i can totally identify with you.

we used to be seven in a home and now my parents live alone. sumtimes i feel i sud leave everything and go back to them. may be sum day i will.

till then i pray.

moron said...

quite true and heart touching and very sweet post...
girls have this kind of feeling of secureness more than boyz but exceptions always exist..

Its quite true.
but you need not care bcoz ur bro wud be clever enuf to choose such a lady for himself who wud take gud care of your parents as well as you.:P

Raam Pyari said...

satish: first time here, na?
welcummm!!!

7!!!! and then juss2!!!! it must be so lonely for ur mum and dad!

moron:welcumm to u too!!!
as fer as bhaiz wifey dear is consired, as i said i just hope shez a nice girl!!

Sumit Tada said...

hi........read my reply to ur last comment on my blog,maybe u didnt know that...

Teens to Toons said...

CAT ... CAT .. CAT... depressed..

get a life... get over the bump...

get over reservations...

Chill out...

Raam Pyari said...

sumit:wohhkayyy!

teens to toons://get a life

aah..what a priceless piece of advice.
thank you!

Adarsh said...

hi....first time visitor of....u ka kahte hain...tohaar gaon.....
bahute badhiya likhti hain aap......kaise soch leti hain e sab...... tanik tipswa dijiye na humko bhi....hum to abhi ...u ka kahte hai....beginner na hain :D
e postwa mein aap bahute senti waala baat likhe hain.....really mein e chinta humko bhi satata rahta hai.....waise hum ekdum ready hain apne maata-pita ko apne saath rakhne ka liye....lekin humre plan aur unke plan mein kahin difference hua to!!!
khair chhoriye.....
aap bas likhte rahiye.....too good likhti hain.....
BTW humra bhi 3rd yr khatam ho gaya hai :)

ranjan said...

Bestseller in works :), and yea, am back at home :D

Raam Pyari said...

adarsh
bhelcummmm
bhelcummmm
:D
haan jee..i batwaa senti type ho hi gayi ..agali post ,upar waale ki dua rahi toh heppy singh waali hogi.
namaste jee
raam raam

ranjan-panjan: yess, yess..i know jee..welcumm bakk:D

genericipguy said...

Hey,

I have now been out of my house for 4 years [job].
Trust me... leaving your parents hurts.
My father even today, has tears in his eyes every time I return to work from home, Mom ki baat nahin karte hai.

There is not much you can do... Just hope that parents stay in best of health.

Regards,
SKR

genericipguy said...

Hey,

I have now been out of my house for 4 years [job].
Trust me... leaving your parents hurts.
My father even today, has tears in his eyes every time I return to work from home, Mom ki baat nahin karte hai.

There is not much you can do... Just hope that parents stay in best of health.

Regards,
SKR

Raam Pyari said...

generic:
welcummmm
:D
I was like 'srk'???:O:O:O:O
hehhehe
i no i no..terribly dumb:D
anyways..yess..i understand what you hve ritten...

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