Raat koh barah baje

It is 11:45 and I am a bit sleepy. I had written a crappy post on 'luurrvvveeee' but something went wrong , the universe conspired to prevent u guys from reading a supremely crappy post.
So, we will leave luv-shuv and the suchlike for later simply coz I have had enough of luv-shuv for a whole year tuday!

I am a sissy.
I am, there is no doubt in my mind about it now.I am scared of silly things , most of the time I cannot say whats on my mind and all that blah. No, no, no do not conjure a picture of someone who is as quiet as a mouse, quite on the contrary..its just that I avoid saying whats on my mind most of the time if I think that that might be the cause of some potential friction...

And at times I dislike it real bad . I am scared of useless things..really ...like speeding cars scare me , people fighting scare me..infact at times I find it difficult to breathe if someone is fighting in my vicinity . If you have a problem, talk it out or better still keep shut, but screaming and shouting...chee cheee

Apart from this , end sems finished..welll I am done with the theory atleast. Final year, here i cummmmmmmmmmmm:D

Gosh, I cannot believe it, three years gone....just one more to go.I wonder if I will miss college, most probbaly not...
but then thats what I used to say about leaving school and if i remembr correctly ,I was crying like a baby the day we were to leave school for good (or bad :D )
But then 14 years in one place is a lot of time. I do not miss school much as in I do not miss the teachers or the girls but I miss (of all things) the buildings!

I so clearly recall my first day in college . True to my ishhtyle ,I was sooooooo scared :D .At that point of time, a seemingly never ending sea of semesters stretched before me....and now only 2 remain .

There is one thing that has been on my mind very often of late.
Mum Dad and I.
Whether I work or I do my MBA(God plz plz plz plz plz plz let it be the latter!!!)
I will have to leave home. So then it will just be Mum and Dad .

I know I am of no great help to either of them but I feel quiet seeing them infront of eyes, knowing that they are okay.
This other day we went out to eat and as I returned from the counter after having placed the order my eyes fell on Mum and Dad. Just two people. Till sometime back we were four, now we are three, and soon it will just be the two of them.
How will they manage????

My dad refuses to wear glasses( he is an eye surgeon...but dun ask me for the logic!!) so like it is difficult for him to read bills etc, I do that for him, if I go who will do that???

The DVD does not work and my Dad hollers for me . How will he manage later??

I'll be sitting in my room and my Mum will call for me, when I go to her she'll look sheepishly at me, point to the switch just out of reach and say," switch on karr doh!"
And I am like, you called me from the next room to switch on the switch a feet away from you????
My Mum nods her head .

When ever my Mum and my Dad fight, my mum pours her heart out to me....and if I am not here, who will she turn to??I am wayy too dumb to give her any solid advice, but atleast I listen....

All this is just the tip of the iceberg! I keep thinking of the time when my mum and dad will be older. Supposing my brother stays with them, what if my brothers wife is a real b****?? these are my parents, not hers! she wont take half as good care of them as I would!
What if my brothers kids speak rudely to them.
What if they are not given enough respect?
What if they end up being terribly unhappy ?

I know, i know, its silly to think about it, but I have seen people treat their own parents real bad . And it scares me no end .
Life does come a full circle....from them being apprhensive about my future, it is my turn to be apprehensive about theirs:)

I just hope and pray that I shall be able to do all that I can possibly do for them.

I have never known greater comfort than in pulling out mum's arm and resting my head on it.
I never sleep better than when I am sleeping next to Ma.
God bless you both .