Wednesday, May 24, 2006

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Mini Bhikhari!!!

Okay I am feeling much better......and the 'he' in the previous post was NOT my boyfriend. To make things clear lemme add that I do not have a bf, have never had one and in all probablility shall never have one also!
Some things have been sorted out in the short span of time that ensued since I wrote the previous posts....

Hence and therefore this would have been an ideal time to remove the last two posts but..well..i guess I shall let them be and instead put up something non depressed ...
(3 posts in a day!!!!!!phew!!)

Well , for starters..my Mum caught my maid who has been with us for about 6 yrs now, stealing Rs 200.It was a rude shock for both me and Mum..
We treated her like family and she behaved like a servant..Sometime back she cried on my shoulder coz she had just discoverd that her daughter was having a rolicking affair with a cousin brother, and I know how heart broken I was to see her thus reduced to nuthing but loads of tears....

It sounds filmy to say this, but had she asked me for the money I would have given it to her...
Of late utensils had been vanishing, Mum's gold ring disappeared some time back and so on and so forth....
Mum used to say that it could be Meena's doing but I used to put my feet down.
And today I gaped foolishly as Mum confronted Meena.
Its silly..maybe servants are supposed to steal...maybe...
I now realise that I had put too much faith in her( as I know I put in most people I know)

So, thats a lesson learnt.

Apart from that, I had my Computer Graphics end sem today.It was a bit nightmarish..but then I guess sab chalta hai!
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Now there is this book store nearby that is simply OSSUUUMMMM! But they have , I think banned me.I have read 5 different books sitting there and sadly I think they have gotten this now!

When I went there first, some seedy looking guy, pretending to be the biggest bibiliophile on this planet would come to me, and speak intelligently about the 'latest' book by Agatha Christie.
I would refuse to pretend as if I were interested and take out my ( or rather 'their' ) copy of Adrian Mole , turn to the page I had last left the book at and start reading...
The Intellectual Book Lover would hover around me, very suspicious.
Intermittently, he would come to me with the 'latest' book by Charles Dickens..but mostly he stared at me from a distance.

This continued for some time. When I had visited that place very very regularly for almost a week, continuously, and still not bought anything, Intellectual Book Lover thought it was time to do something.

So, he came to me, one fine day, with a intellectual'hey!!! look I just found the 'latest' book by Tulsi Das ' smile and said," Ma'am, you come each day, but...errr... you do not buy anything...errr...err....we are a book shop , Ma'am"

And I said ":O:O a buk shop???!!!!"

" yess, Ma'am"

"oh!! I am sorry!!!!" , I said and walked out.

And that was the last I went there.

Most of the time I have no money..i genuinely do not have money.I am therefore a mini bhikhari more often than not . ( 'mini' coz I am tiny! )There are two reasons for that---

1. I am too lazy to see if my wallet is well stocked or no. Infact most of the time when I have to return from college I end up borrowing money from people for the bus ride home.
The ticket costs me a grand total of Rs 3. And more often than not, I do not have that much money!
Thats so totally bhikharish! wow!!

So, I ask for money.
( Again , so totally bhikharish! double wow!)

Sometime back, I borrowed a grand total of Re. 1 from a friend while crossing the road.
I said," mujhe pls ek rupaya deh doh".
gosh! that sounds so much like a bhikharan!!!
allah ke naam parr ek rupaya deh doh babujee, tohar jodi bani rahe
jeez.....I can start a Bhikari Training Centre or what?

2. I do not have money! Simple.

My Mum says it is good to travel by bus. It increases resistance to bacteria.

Ahem.

Sometime back I had the pleasure of travelling with a bhikhari family.
There was Mr. Bhikari, unki Mishes, and 3 baby Bhikhariz.They were on their way to the Railway Station to beg.
The baby Bhikhari, feeling for my hungry looking eyes, kindly offered me one Eclairs.

Double Ahem.

No, don't even ask me that. I promise I refused. Tumhari kasam!

So for mini bhikhariz like me, book piracy is the greatest thing that has happened other than friends who do not mind lending me Re. 1.

Pirated books are terribly grand !!
Well...book piracy rocks!!! And for all those'i-am-so-dead-against-book-piracy' people here...
I am currently reading a totally pirated , cud not be more pirated version of Billy Boy's autobiography
tililili!!!!
:P

Am also reading short stories by O.Henry and it's an awesome collection! Fantastic.10/10.
Aaah...full marks by a mini bhikhari.....wow! lucky Mishterr Henry!

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Allah ke naam pe Three cheers for bhikari-panaa!!:p
Vaise my dadaji says ki ghar se jab bhi niklo paise paas hone chahiye:)!
Haawww..pirated books??..bharat sarkaar se aapki complaint karni padegi:p!..umm..vaise kahaan se milti hain yeh books?:p!-Ms.Happening!!!

Anonymous said...

LOL..!! There was Mr. Bhikari, unki Mishes, and 3 baby Bhikhariz.They were on their way to the Railway Station to beg.
The baby Bhikhari, feeling for my hungry looking eyes, kindly offered me one Eclairs..that was hilarious..cudnt stop lafin..especially since im a littl imaginativ..kinda imagind that hungry luk of urs n da baby bhikhari offering da eclairs..he he he

pandora said...

haha..meri cuzzin bhikhari?? nahi!!! keh do ki yeh jhooth hai...:P:P

arre aap bolo toh sahi ek kya hum aapko do rupaye denge..:D

aMyth! said...

hehe... tell me about it ;)
i have "fond memories of my days as a bhikari"... i used to keep track of my expenses in my diary then, and i still laugh when i see the day my account showed -10p... (yup! that's a minus 10 paise)

as for the piracy? it rocks in all.. music, movies, books. as long as someone doesnt make a pirated ME, am fine with that.. heehee

Suds said...

"Ek rupayaa..." hahahahha. That was funny. Very nice post. Are mein to hass hass ke gir gaya.:)

Hey sis u have to move to US someday. Yahan book stores mein jitna chahe pad sakte ho..:) U remember "U have got mail" Movie. Tom Hanks owned a store like that..:) it is good stuff..:)

Enjoy...

Shekhar said...

Ha ha ha. Yeh 'bhikaari-pan' to hum sab ke jeevan ka inseparable part hai. Why do you think mp3 music rocks ?!! And also the cheap 60-80 buck 4-movies-in-1 dvd ??

'Mini' bhikhari... ha ha...terribly funny, especially since I have a friend whose pet name is Mini and is forever without cell-phone balance.

P.S. Your previous 2 posts really got me worried, but it seems you're fine now. Touch wood.

Abhishek Upadhyay said...

Your maid story reminds me something.Thanks for it.I keep my money totally in open spreading all over my room(I am not rich, I am careless).Thats true you can never trust anyone.

wish you happy begging(if in future you intent to).

Regards

Sumit Tada said...

Ha ha ha ha, I have few frnds who never seem to have money with them,but no one ever asked me for 1 rupee!! I hope u needed one rupee more(matlab u had something like 9 Rs when u needed 10)....kyunki I cant think of anything coming in 1 rupee without which u cant stay until u reach home!!!
And naa bhikhaaris in chandigarh wont be intimated by ur "hungry look"...when i used to go for coaching in +1,+2...there used to small-small bhikharis near the food shops in the market saying things like "ek patty de de tere number achhe aayenge,tu har test mein paas ho...etc.etc.." and my sister told me that one smart tactic used by them was trying to "touch" the girls while asking for money...the ladies tried to avoid that at any cost(maybe due to fear of catching some unknown disease or maybe to avoid spoiling their dress)...and usually end up giving something to the shrewd fella!!! Innovations everywhere!!!

ranjan said...

I feel soo much like a bhikari on this trip :)), am out of money and have to cover 3 more places abhi..plz plz mere liye Bhikari Mahasangh se thoda loan dilwane kaa naa :), me will repay in 100 yrs., pakka :D...

And good to know u r back and happy :)

bachcha said...

ROFL !!! great post.. haha... keep blogging :)

niv said...

:)
:)

Raam Pyari said...

creepu beti---bharat sarkar ki chamachi!!!!
delhi mein toh maxxx wadda bazaar hai yaar!!!!
tu toh max achche shehr mein hai, atleast buk piracy ke POV se!!!

anon jee---anon, jee, aap kaun hai..
kripaya apana parichay de.

waise m glad u had a gud laff:)

chotu singh----//arre aap bolo toh sahi ek kya hum aapko do rupaye denge..:D

kinna wadda dil hai tera!!!
hai! hai! kya karon mein iss ladki ha!!!!!

The Myth----//i still laugh when i see the day my account showed -10p

hahahahahah
-10p???!!!!
thats so crazy!!!
//as long as someone doesnt make a pirated ME---imagine these nanga bhanga bachchaz selling a pirated u at CP for 120 rupees!!
hehehhe


bhaiya---//Are mein to hass hass ke gir gaya.:)

ouch!!!
:D
haan jee, haan jee...jab bhi US aana hua and agar aapke shaher ke pass aaye, toh aapse zaroor milenge!

shekhar//'Mini' bhikhari
hahahahah
hahahahah
i know i know, she comments on ur blog!
hehehehhe
uskoh bhikhari bana diya:P

//Your previous 2 posts really got me worried
:) :) :) wat wud I do w/o u guys and this blog!
*deep but happy sigh!*

abhishek://wish you happy begging(if in future you intent to).

hehehhe..yess i very much inted to!!!
:D
thank you and welcummm:)

sumit: //matlab u had something like 9 Rs when u needed 10

yess, i had rs 2 and needed a total of Rs 3.

//"ek patty de de tere number achhe aayenge
how smart!*indignant luk!*

// them was trying to "touch" the girls while asking for money
haan now that i get down to thinking this does happen!!!!!gosh!


ranjan -panjan//I feel soo much like a bhikari on this trip

hahahhahahah
30 lakhs...ahem ahem!


bachcha welcumm and thanks!:)

niv:
:)
:)
:)
:)

amyth said...

Of late, a lot of chain mails have been going around in favour of the protests by the students on the reservation. But what many of them say is.. "let the politicians fly by planes piloted by OBC pilots, let the politicians be treated by OBC doctors, and that will save the country.." etc.. Somehow it feels out of track there. The whole protest is against reservation, not againt reservation for OBC..right? somehow the mails seem to say it's the latter... taking it off track

Rebellion said...

LOL Ruchi :)

Gotto read your previous posts to see how sad & depressed you were but fikar not.. main hun (Err... I think all the tension starts here only.. thats what my friends say :P)

Mini bikhari.. mini coz am tiny.. hehehe
It was sooooooo cute >:D<

//"No, don't even ask me that. I promise I refused. Tumhari kasam!"
hehehe.. This was the best :D soo damn sweet & innocent :)

Now lemme read the rest of your posts.. btw.. hope you got some *ahem* piece of news in your mailbox :P

Take care,
Aarti

Anonymous said...

U mean palika bazaar??..arre maine ek buk li thi wahaan se sirf Rs.20 ka hi discount mila:(..aur mere hazaar baar poochne par bhi stall-wale ne use O-R-I-G-N-A-L BATAAYA :O :o :O..AYE HAYE! main to lutt gayi!!:( -Ms.Happening!!!

SUNMAY said...

obsessed with beggars ?.... well i am sure you will make it big in bhikariland! managed to take something from a bhikari ..cool ..neways funny post

mini said...

yea... madame... u have seriously landed me in trouble with ur post ...my frnds call me 'mini bhikhari' now !!!!! :((((((((((((((

Sumit Tada said...

Accenture Rockz!!!!!!
Detaild post(s) coming very soon........

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