Set the alarm for 5, got up at 7, started revision at 8, revised the course twice by 1:30.Submitted the scholarship form in college.
Wrote non stop for 3 hrs(gosh!!! the paper simply refused to end!!!!!)Sat outside the Academic Block, amongst trees and bees and chatted with bhai as I waited for Dad to pick me from college..
And then it happend.
For the second time in 2 months, some darling, dear, feathered
friend, high above in the sky decided that my head was an ideal place to relieve itself.
And so it did.
Not good. So not good.
Cut back to two months ago.
I was sitting on a rickshaw,was on my way home , blissfully unaware of the dangers of letting birds fly in the sky, jabbing happily on my cell with a friend.
Friend: and then naaaaaa , he said that he will come to visit me..sweet naaaaa?
Before I could tell her that it was so sweet that it could cause diabetes in a perfectly healthy person in 2 seconds I suddenly became aware of a certain kind of dankness on my head.Something, call it the proverbial woman's sixth sense, made me squint my eyes and try and catch a glimpse of 'something' that had just appeared on my right shoulder.
Thank God I squinted, and moved my head real slow.
I firmly believe it reduced the shock.
I did not scream, shout,jump, lunge for any bird that i cud lunge for and and and..(okay its unladylike to say these things*prim and propahh luk* ,and its my mission these days to behave in the most sophisticated manner possible, hence i shall not tell you what i wished to do.)
Instead, I just uttered a very womanly,and might I add, extremely sophisticated, "ewwwwkkkkkkkkkkssssss"
Friend(shocked): What!!!!You find it sickening dunt you! You think me and my guy are disgusting.huh!Ms Misra(meaning me), bye bye.
Okay, she did not bang her cell.She just disconnected the call.
But as most you with IQ points more than -ve 3 would rightly have guessed, Friend was not at the top of my i-need-to-go-crazy-abt-it-worrying list.
Bird-shit on my head and shoulder was.
How do you remove bird-shit from your head.In a dignified manner.In full public view of the hundreds of men who find it higly entertaining to leer at girls on rickshaws.
My lovely hair, shampooed just the day before with honey flavoured state of the art, 'kill the mice and the lice in your hair' shampoo which apparently is the number one shampoo not only on earth but also on pluto and saturn, in sucha pathetic condition...
Anyways...I shall let the graphic details of what I actually did be( its not sophisticated, you see)
But I shall add, that I had a register, which had some paper, which cud be torn into tiny pieces, which be used to ...ahem...do certain things in a very discreet manner...
(oh, wow, that was sophisticated!!!)
So now, when today also, a similar thing happened. I was better prepared..Atleast mentally!
As soon as I realised what had happend, I looked around quickly, grabbed the first stone I could find, and threw it with the greatest force and gussa I could manage towards the tinnnnyyyy spek of black I could see in the sky.
hmmmfffff...well...i could tell others that It just nearly missed the wretched bird.
Okay, It did not help. I know.But i felt quite nice for about 20 seconds or so when a little boy came along, holding his mother's hand and pointed excitedly towards the sky and said"mummmmmyyyyy, dekhoooooo!!!!! helicopterrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
The tiny black speck was now larger.It was an aeroplane.