Thursday, May 18, 2006

Our featherd friends
Set the alarm for 5, got up at 7, started revision at 8, revised the course twice by 1:30.Submitted the scholarship form in college.
Wrote non stop for 3 hrs(gosh!!! the paper simply refused to end!!!!!)Sat outside the Academic Block, amongst trees and bees and chatted with bhai as I waited for Dad to pick me from college..

And then it happend.

For the second time in 2 months, some darling, dear, feathered
friend, high above in the sky decided that my head was an ideal place to relieve itself.
And so it did.

ahem.

Not good. So not good.

Cut back to two months ago.

I was sitting on a rickshaw,was on my way home , blissfully unaware of the dangers of letting birds fly in the sky, jabbing happily on my cell with a friend.

Friend: and then naaaaaa , he said that he will come to visit me..sweet naaaaa?
Before I could tell her that it was so sweet that it could cause diabetes in a perfectly healthy person in 2 seconds I suddenly became aware of a certain kind of dankness on my head.Something, call it the proverbial woman's sixth sense, made me squint my eyes and try and catch a glimpse of 'something' that had just appeared on my right shoulder.

Thank God I squinted, and moved my head real slow.

I firmly believe it reduced the shock.

I did not scream, shout,jump, lunge for any bird that i cud lunge for and and and..(okay its unladylike to say these things*prim and propahh luk* ,and its my mission these days to behave in the most sophisticated manner possible, hence i shall not tell you what i wished to do.)

Instead, I just uttered a very womanly,and might I add, extremely sophisticated, "ewwwwkkkkkkkkkkssssss"

Friend(shocked): What!!!!You find it sickening dunt you! You think me and my guy are disgusting.huh!Ms Misra(meaning me), bye bye.

bang!
Okay, she did not bang her cell.She just disconnected the call.

But as most you with IQ points more than -ve 3 would rightly have guessed, Friend was not at the top of my i-need-to-go-crazy-abt-it-worrying list.
Bird-shit on my head and shoulder was.

How do you remove bird-shit from your head.In a dignified manner.In full public view of the hundreds of men who find it higly entertaining to leer at girls on rickshaws.
My lovely hair, shampooed just the day before with honey flavoured state of the art, 'kill the mice and the lice in your hair' shampoo which apparently is the number one shampoo not only on earth but also on pluto and saturn, in sucha pathetic condition...

*deep sigh!*

Anyways...I shall let the graphic details of what I actually did be( its not sophisticated, you see)
But I shall add, that I had a register, which had some paper, which cud be torn into tiny pieces, which be used to ...ahem...do certain things in a very discreet manner...

(oh, wow, that was sophisticated!!!)

So now, when today also, a similar thing happened. I was better prepared..Atleast mentally!
As soon as I realised what had happend, I looked around quickly, grabbed the first stone I could find, and threw it with the greatest force and gussa I could manage towards the tinnnnyyyy spek of black I could see in the sky.
hmmmfffff...well...i could tell others that It just nearly missed the wretched bird.

Okay, It did not help. I know.But i felt quite nice for about 20 seconds or so when a little boy came along, holding his mother's hand and pointed excitedly towards the sky and said"mummmmmyyyyy, dekhoooooo!!!!! helicopterrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

The tiny black speck was now larger.It was an aeroplane.

22 comments:

!xobile said...

hahahaha

arre yaar be positive!
sun

birdie birdie in the sky,
dropped a potty in my eye,
I didn't worry, I didn't cry,
Just thanked god, buffalows don't fly.

Pradyot said...

so lightening might not strike the same place twice...but a bird will poop many times. I bet one bird is suggesting to other bird, "have you tried Ruchi's head... it is such a convinient neat place..." (just kidding)

abe X... tujhe koi farak nahi padta... chahe jitni chidya poop kare... tu pagdi wala dude hai... baki logon ko shampoo karna padta hai. so what do you care if buffalows fly or not.

ranjan said...

Aap IIM Cal hi jaana :)), wahan pe thr are lots of egrets and corresponding lots of egret-shit splayed all arnd :P, u will be truly rewarded for ur CAT travails, u know :D...

Me off for 12 days, jyada mat likhna..fir me wont be able to comment naa :))

anuj said...

aewwwwwwwww ...

forgive me bt .... hahahahahaha .. its a lil funny ... hahahaha

nd if it was a helicop nd not a bird .. thn u btr check out again .. whos shit was it ... hehehe ..

hey m new here .. so dont be offended :D

badal garja
pani barsa
chidiya udi
udti gayi .. udti hi rahi
tab pressure roke rakha
jab tak ruchi nhin mili ..

( sry ) .

hi . nice post.
tc. anuj . ( hahahaha .. areee nhin hans raha )

Restless said...

~laughs~
hilarious post..
loved it:)

pandora said...

haha...aisa hamare saath hi kyun hota hai! :((

mujhe bhi flash back mein yaad aata hai, bachpan mein jab main choti thi I mean 7th standard mein thi, toh khushi khushi humne two ponies banaye the. School mein PT class ped[tree] ke neeche ho raha tha coz weather was hot hot! suddenly suddenly on one side of my pony maine kuch feel sheel kiya and mera expression rote hue bache types ho gaya. teacher se permission lekar me rushed to watertank and hanky se saaf kar khushi khusi wapas aayi! jaise hi line wapas join kiya maine, this time doosri pony ke side...'drrrrrop'!!!!!!!
puri class including teacher fell laughing!

...and that was the last day I ever made two ponies. i hate trees and i hate two ponies..grrrrr...

sabkabaap said...

hi..read ur blog for the first tme..good stuff man..and yeah d bird didd save u frm diabetes did'nt it..?

aMyth! said...

Haha..
Yup! Birdy birdy in the sky,
Dropped a poopy in my eye,
I don't worry I don't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly!


btw, r u sure it was indeed a bird that pooped and not the aeroplane?
(eeewww! gross!!)

;)

niv said...

hehehehhe!
:)
and also
ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!
ugh ugh ugh..ok im done
really aisa hua?? shit!(literally!)
so i hope ur hair is back to shiny and beautiful now?

Anonymous said...

haha!nice one:-p!..vaise i had read sumwhr ki birds prefer to shit on light coloured objects lik white cars n all..err..u must nt b having grey hair:D..hehe!!
Its considered as good luck naa?;)-Ms.Happening!!!

Raam Pyari said...

x:
//birdie birdie in the sky,
dropped a potty in my eye,
I didn't worry, I didn't cry,
Just thanked god, buffalows don't fly.


hahahhahahaha
hahhahahahah
hahahhahahah

praddy prajji:arre!!!
inne dinoh baad!!!!!
waah! waah!
:D
//it is such a convinient neat place
hehhehheheh
my head is convinet place for birds to shit??:O
hahahah

ranjan panjan: arre jee..have a nice trip!!!!
i'll try not to rite tooooo much:D
btw!
what a reason to go to Cal!!!

anuj: first and foremost, as is tradition here--
welcummmmmm
//nd if it was a helicop nd not a bird .. thn u btr check out again .. ----ewwwwkkkkkkkkssssssss


restelss::)
thank you jee:)

chotu singh:
hahahhahaha
hahhahahah
hahahhahaha
tu aur teri pony:))))))
pata hai aisa kyunn hota hai!!!
cuz hum cujjnz hai...
our fates aur entwined....
*prophetic luk*
:D

waise maxx sahi isshotry yeh waali teri!!!!

sabke pitajee:I chekd out ur blog as well...which B skul? aur do u plan to keep ur identity a secret..?
and yess!!!!
ur first time here---welcummmmm:D

amyth://btw, r u sure it was indeed a bird that pooped and not the aeroplane?

ewwwwwwwkkkkkkkkkssssss
chee cheee
raam raaam
chee cheee

lolz!

niv: hehehee..haan haan..nako chinta jee!
ab all is normal:D
when will we meet??:((

creepu betiiiiii: creepu beti!!!
ye gud luk hota hai???hehee..ab toh doh baar ho gaya yeh!!
no luk in sight!!!!
heheh..gudd gudd...maybe its on its wayy!

Sumit Tada said...

Me free now :)
hope will be regular on blogger now....
Cnt think of any reans why the best flying machines do that to you!!

Raam Pyari said...

sumit: yayyyyyyyyyy!!
:D
mere chal rahe hai....
rote a maxxxxxx rubbish networks paper tuday..am taking the day off to spend some tme with CAT:)

how were your exams?

Sirius Black said...

lolzzzzzzzz
U knw they say its a good luck sign.
So whenever ny1 says good luck to ya , u shd knw wat they mean ehh :P

Anonymous said...

22 MAY: BLACK OUT AT 8 PM ALL OVER INDIA FOR 10 MINUTES


Monday, May 22, 2006 : On the 22nd of May 2006, the UPA Government completes two years in power. As a mark of protest against reservation, the YOUTH FOR EQUALITY forum has decided to switch off all the lights in our homes and locality between 8.00 pm to 8.10 pm symbolizing "The dark policies of the UPA government". We need your support in our agitation against caste based reservation. If we dont do something about it now, the future generations will prevail in darkness.


Atleast itna to hum kar hi sakte hain naa?-Ms.Happening!!

Sayesha said...

Hahahahahaha! :D

Tabhi hum kahat hain, pallu sar se sarke na! :D

dharmu said...

first time here, nice blog.
liked the post on lonley planet.

Raam Pyari said...

sirius: tumhe rowling ne kyun mara!!!!!!!
*wails lots and lots!!!*
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((

p.s welcummmmmm:D

creepu beti: hmmm...thankfully i read ur comment in time!
but as luck wud have it..lite chali gayi us time parr...so i did not get the pleasure of switching off the lights apane haath se...

koi nahi...abb yeh desh andhkarr mein hi rahega!

singafuriya bahin hehheheheh
haan bahin haan
ab humar samjha mein aa gaya...
akhir bade boodhe kutch soch samajh karr hi ee sab kahte hai...


dharmu jee namaste namaste..
welcummm:)
glad u liked it..i was in a darrrrrrrk mood then!

Rebellion said...

LOL..

Hota hai hota hai...
Bade bade deshon mein aisi choti moti baatein hoti rehti hai :P

Don't worry.. ur not the only victim.. I've been a victim to your feathered friends.. more than twice :((
Eeewwwwwwwww :-S

Hum samajh sakte hain aapke dil ka haal (rather kapdo aur baalo ka :P) and here I can't even say 'fikar not' coz I can't realy help you out here :P

Take care,
Aarti :P

PS: Curosity struck me (yet again) to know the 'kill the mice and the lice in your hair' shampoo which apparently is the number one shampoo not only on earth but also on pluto and saturn shampoo's name :P

Raam Pyari said...

aarti:

twice!!!!!!!!!!
hey bhaggu!!!!
poor poor you!

hehehhe...woh shampooo rubbish hai....waise I generally use garnier..what about u?

Rebellion said...

LOL Ruchi...

Hey bhaggu.. Aashi.. you too??? hehehe

Yeah twice :( but its ok.. am reviving from it :P

Shampoo.. don't talk about it yaar.. shampoo's try karte karte main ek din ganji ho jaungi :((

Anyways, you didn't reply to my comments to your latest posts? And hope you got some piece of news in your mailbox? :P

Take care dear,
Aarti :)

Anonymous said...

Very nice site! Car alarm tone Is neuropathy result of gemfibrozil and lipitor mazda dealerships toronto area Honda casino arizona Cocain white seat cover deal ionamin Transexuals spreading ass