Friday, April 07, 2006

I have a class test in one hour but I have mugged sufficient amount of globe+have great trust in my creative writing abilities to bother much about that minor right now...
These past few days have been very weird..major mood swings have plagued me...when nothing is obvious I blame it on hormones so i guess hormones it shall be this time too!
You know what my biggest problem is???
It is that I do not like being mediocre.
simple as that!...infact I think I hate it.It is not about what you do but you should be the best in your field....that is very importnat for me....CAT depresses me..I enjoy working for it, but I don't know why but it is cemented in my head that I do not have sufficient brains to get a good B-school.
I try to reason with myself...coz I know such negative thoughts are very bad!I tell myself that I have been good academically since the second I was born, padhai is something I love, if I work hard enough here is no stopping me...I remind myself that I am indeed a topper yaar..aisehi koi thodi hi achcha karta hai..
But sadly, none of this helps. I do well in studies simply coz I slog, slog and slog..and also a bit of credit should go to other ppl in my department who refuse to study!
Maybe I expect too much out of Mum says that I should just work, nothing lese is in my hands, but I get so disappointed when I do not get the tuff quant is like this reaffirmation of what I have always dreaded.
I am not good enough!
this reminds me of a conversation i had with someone who felt that I am a narcissist.
I wish I was..things would have been so much easier for me...

for a few more grey cells..
for a little more confidence...
for alittle bit of common sense...
for a little bit of peace...
for my brain to not keep talking to me , always....
for a gooooodddd laugh..

Wish me luck and pardon the atrocious spellings and in no mood to go through th post once again...



pandora said...

me first!yeyyyyyyyyy :D

pandora said...

hmm..and exactly i wonder y do i have similar problem :D

good luck to you...:D

..but delete the other one do post same to same :O

ruchi said...

had put up da post twice...this is abhi navs comment!

You know , aap tabhi apna best perform kartein ho jab aap khush hote hain.Your creativity and sensitivity is enhanced when you are comfortable with yourself.So take some time off , talk to yourself , clear things in your can face the world better if you can face yourself happily.Be comfortable with yourself.And after all , khush reh yaar , dont attach so much importance to the world outside ,life mein happiness is within.Be your own friend.And let me know agar aapko kuch help chaiye ho.

11:43 AM, April 07, 2006

dotty_pixie said...

you know..the best way to get good results is to just not care abt the results.easier said than done..but its true..taking one day at a time keeps the stress levels down and the mind focussed on only the important stuff.

neway..iv been pretty disheartened wid my wrk as well lekin kya karein yar..people just dont recognise genius when they see it:)

best of luck for ur ctz..
and oh..i realy feel like havin hot pakodas rite now..agar banao toh post kar dena:))

Shriedhar said...

//great trust in my creative writing abilities
that's what even i used to rely on for my BTech exams.. :)

if my bare words give u sm confi.
then take it.

u still hv lots n lots of time.
wrk well , u'l get there .

btw, pray for me too :)
coz, me too taking it up ..


Shreyansh said...

Thats why I say listen to music .
Music can control all your mood swings (that is if you allow to :-))
Dont think too much.
Listen to Masti ki Paathshala from RDB and chill.

And yaar , Sikkim -III might take some time. Deadlines converge in April. Plus the end sems.
Dunno when would I get in the mood to write about it.
But you just chill and follow Abhinav's advice , khush raho!

MW said...

chotu singh!!: hehe..haan first hai tu!!
yaar yeh kamptetishn waddi ajeeb cheez hoti hai!
tere hukum parr duplicate post delete karr di!

abhi: thankoo so much for these words, always make so much of sense...
Yess...tuday is anuther day and hopefully I shall be more sensible now...i just hope I can keep my word.

niv:41degrees mein garam garam pakode???
:O :O :O: O: O
: O: O: O:
aisa mat bolo re!!!!!!!!

shriedhar: aapko asheerwaad
dunt all enggz study the same way;)

shreyansh: haan , theek....finish with wrk and then put up a post!:)
I knw..i knw...infact I have started making a conscious effort to like music..i thnk I am in dire need of something to distract me whn i feel rubbish and music might just be that thing!