Sunday, July 10, 2011

Blog Marathon: Sunday Post
Guest Post by Nikhil
More about Nikhil here.

Raam Pyari

A big Hi to all RP fans! (Who might as well choose to unsubscribe from the fan list after seeing this sudden drop in blog quality).


As you would have noticed, RP is totally living up to her promise of posting three posts a week. And for those few occasions when she does not feel like writing at all, she has asked for some fillers from some near and dear ones. That's what she calls Plan B. Sid, of course, is one of such persons. Poor Sid, I wonder the multiple threats he would be facing these days. I remember his brave attempt at writing (dictating) 'Jack and Jill went up the hill'. Way to go, buddy. I am on your side.


By now you would have guessed that I am under similar pressure to write a blog post for the lady. After giving it a deep, serious thought for almost 23 days, 19 hours, 41 minutes and 3 seconds, I thought why not give you some snippets about your author's life, the quintessential RP. After all, I have had the luxury of knowing and observing her at our previous workplace. Note that I will be restricting myself to only the fun part here, as RP hasn't yet wire transferred the full amount she promised to pay me to write good things about her. Of course, I don't need to comment on her writing skills and the passion behind it :)


If you have followed her posts well you would not disagree even slightly over the fact that she is the biggest drama queen to have been born on this earth. If the words that come out of her are melodramatic, try imagining about the ones that do not and remain only thoughts in her shaitan mind. She has a reaction on almost everything! She has always been like this, and was the same when we used to work together on some high priority problems and discuss the same in the company's conference rooms. Problems like who's dating who, which boss is the most sadu, etc etc. Work was taking a toll on our lives. After all, we were the youngest future leaders of the firm!


Interesting story this. One fine day we got to know that RP is getting married. Hona kya tha, the office was abuzz with speculations, some said out aloud and some only grapevine. From the boss to the peon, everyone was talking about her. Miss popular. What follows is a not-so-comprehensive, whatever-I-could-recall list for you guys.


After marriage when she moves to London, RP is going to:

· Develop a British accent, mait!

· Color her hair blonde, and keep a hairbun.

· Sport a overcoat, and goggles, and boots look.

· Shop the hell out of D&G, LVMH, and Bvlgari. Goodbye Mango. You were too mass market!

· Keep a pet, and carry it around everywhere.

· Smoke a cigar. Or rather not. She hates it. Cancel this one specifically for her.

· Cook a dish, burn it, and make Sid eat it. (The burn is accidental, the making him eat is not)

· Haggle with the shopkeepers and vegetable vendors (if they exist there) to give her a discount, in pounds :) This out of the innate Indian within her.

· Join a kitty club or whatever you call that, play cards with her gang, and crib about her daughter in law as she grows old.

· Watch daily soaps like 'Balika Vadhu', 'Na aana is des laado', 'Yahan main ghar ghar kheli', 'Sabki laadli bebo', and of course, 'Chajje chajje ka pyaar' whenever she is home. Gosh! Why is television content going backward?

· Call her family at least 5 times a day.

· Ask for hardship allowance if her company makes her stay beyond 1800 hours.

Thankfully, in my cognizance, only two and a half of these things have actually happened, yet. Which ones, you are free to make your own guesses! RP, did I miss anything major?


Having said that, hats off to her, for moving to an unknown land, managing office, home, and a future bestseller in an excellent fashion. Brave girl! And for being a special, special friend. With whom you can connect right where you left, whether it is after days, or months!


So that was for you, RP. Keep writing and entertaining. And wish you all the luck for your book :)

8 comments:

nikhil said...

:)

gamathepsicop said...

nice work....

akanksha said...

Good to know some real-life facts about the real RP! :) loved reading the post!

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Okay, what points comprise the two and half? I think I know the half, making Sid eat, where are the two?

Nice post.

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

Purba said...

I remember reading about her fetish for sitting for exams - so that she could top in them!

That scared the living daylights out of me!

Will be looking out for your book Ruchita :))

Chakoli said...

hahahaha...
thats a good inside out :D

good post...
well ur perform very well under pressure it seems ;)

Sh@s said...

Interesting.

Anonymous said...

Loved it :)..

-Creepa!