I belong to the old school. I wanted it all the to begin and (hopefully) end with the same man. There were enough people who proposed marriage along the way but I never got into anything just for the heck of it or for peer pressure. Even when I was really young I had the sense to understand that this guy in front of me -we will not work out.
Also I was too geeky and busy with tests and grades to really bother ( If you don't believe me, check out my posts till 2009- they are all about grades!)
Now that I have been married for over a year ( and how I love to say that)I wonder what makes a couple tick. Tick for the long term.... that makes you stay together for your life time.
Mine was an arranged match. I was 24 when I met Sid, had seen really little of the world and knew very little about relationships et al (again due to the fact that I was an out right maggu. Sid made sense to me. He used to do cool things like travel to India for the weekend to meet me but I think it was just good luck that Sid is who he is.
The reason I say this is because I am surrounded by women my age who are still looking. For various reasons they are going in for arranged marriages and most of them have met 20-25 boys! Without liking anyone!
Some one is not cool enough, someone is not polite enough, someone is not educated enough, someone is not cheerful enough, some one is not confident enough, someone is not intelligent enough...
My close friends tell me how tough it is meet someone who even meets the basic bare minimum criteria.
And I wonder that is that because as we grow older we become more set in our ways? Do we want more from the person than we had the brains to demand when we were younger?
Sid was the first and ONLY guy I met even though ours was an arranged match. It so happens that he is very well mannered, well educated, cheerful, extremely confident, and very alert and intelligent. But I was not consciously looking for all this. I did not have the brains to figure out that this was all needed! Infact I do not know how many of these characteristics are actually needed.
Met Sid, liked him, he liked me, end of story. It was as simple. The only thing I was looking for in my husband to be was strength of character. That was really all.
But I do wonder, what really makes relationships work. What do you think?
P.S. I am getting increasingly busy with office work. Hence the long periods without posts.
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