Deviyon aur sajjano , kahiin jayega nahin--hum hazir honge ek chote se break ke baad! :)

Exams begin from the 12 of December and i should get down to heavy duty padhai-likhai now..hence and therefore a small break from blogging raises its chotu as head. See..if i keep posting even during the 2-3 weeks to come the posts will consist of only 2 things-
1. sob story of much i should ave studied, but did not.
2. sob story of how well i should have done in my exams but did not.

I really like most ppl who read my blog ..so i shall not subject them to such extreme forms of torture...hence with the best interests of fellow bloggers in mind , i shall *tries to look brave* try to stay as away from blogging as is humanly possible . But yess if i take a dayz break from padhai( i know i shall be doing that) and if i am not depressed( kya aisa ho sakta hai question mark) then i SHALL put up a post..but elsewise mah blogz going to be a quiet place for some time now.
But, i shall hopefully continue reading the blogs i follow regularly...so till i finish these senseless end semesters...its Adios time.
Be good, dont fight with adorable sisters, look before you cross the streets, dont rob anyone, dont murder anyone and please, please, please please..do take good care of urselves . * i am going thru the i-love-KBC-phase*
Adios and miss me .
ruchi

I dunno when this feeling will go....i dont want it to linger and gnaw at my insides.....i want it to go away..i have been feeling so many negative things these past few days and today was by far the worst....i dunno why but i am feeling very stressed..every thing went wrong today...right from 5:00 in the morning...through the stupid economics lecture ( this female who was taking the lecture got ultra impressed coz i knew that peter drucker died a coupla o days ago..she wanted to know my name and what i planned to do after BTech and silly things of that sort...which made the girls , who are sick of me getting the attention in class, exchange a couple of thousand looks) followed by the lunch break wherein inorder torevise the 4 chapters of IWT i stayed in the lecture theatre,all alone, in the process missingl lunch.... then the lecturer came..looks at me studying and shez like..."don't you know? the quiz has been postponed for tomm"
So there was poor me, studying jdbc when i should have been giving mah quiz...then there is X. No, i am not the lets-bitch-about-her types....but there are certain things i CANNOT tolerate and i can only wonder how long it will be before she gets a piece of my mind....These things include bossiness( i dont throw my weight around but i cant stand ppl who do..) ask her to get up at 7:30 to do the project..no, she has to sleep...okay how about tomm evening..well ruchi, i stay in the hostel and humare pass kaam ho sakata hai shaam mein .okay how about morning 9:30...naah you cant expect me o be up by that time if i sleep at 3 come abi?
Im like , see i havent eaten anything lemme go eat something in the mean while you guys carry on..i'll join u ppl in half an hour...
shez like i dont have the time to explain the same thing to ten ppl ten times.
You know i wish i could retort..but i hate, HATE fights of any type..so i just kept shut.. did nt speak a word..so there were three of us...no one else in sight..my bak turned towards the other 2, X facing in the opposite direction..and the 3rd girl( shez very very seedha saadha..and its partly coz of her that i'm not saying anything right now..coz i dun want her to ..i dunno...shez nice..) trying to diffuse the tension....My point is be civil guys!!! just atleast be civil .be decent, behave nicely!!!!!There is no need to be rude and difficult!!!! I mean its like if i go and speak to X she'll be gracious enough to speak to me but elsewise we'll be standing next to each other and not a word!! Gosh i simply hate it!!!! Shes not even a 'good friend' but like why this kind of a behaviour????
I answer in class...and she has become very quiet.
I am being made the ass- co of something and she'll tell me that the whole evnt is crap.
I get more marks than her in the midsems and she wont speak to me for 3 days.
It has been said that 2 girls who are equally good academically can neva be friends..but i beg to disagree...If Nivindya was first in class i was second, if i was first she was second....and if neither of was 1st (like in 11th and 12th) Latika was....so like it was always one of us.... Marks were important to both of us....the net difference in the grand total used to be (more than once) a single mark!!!! one whole term..and difference of a single mark.... and we were+are+shall remain(tw) the bestest of friends........
Missing you loads.......come to India jaldi jaldi :( Tumm Btech kar lo na plzz mere colg se ....then i wont hafta bear all these ppl. .:(
So many more things on my mind..but i dont think i'll write them here..and i just studied for 3 hrs today :(
tata
ruchi.
p.s. got 14.5(= 15)/15 in economics and 27/30 in IWT minor....
p.s. my neighbours sangeet today..i went there ...stood alone in the corner for 5 minutes looking at ppl going crazy dancing and felt so far from the madding crowd and left the place quiely...
p.s. excuse the bad grammar + spellings+long post

JUST DONT READ THIS!

Dunno where to begin from... past few days have been quite bad...i mean there was so much to do...exams begin on the 12 th of dec, before that i have to sit for one more set of minors + 2 projects( one in DBMS, which i have not even begun other than the ER diagram and one in Software engg which also has not even started)
There is just so much in Algorithms...and in DBMS but i worked pretty hard on both these subjects in the pst 3-4 days and now things are pretty much in control...
1. s/w engg - one unit is left but that will come in the minors so with that the entire course will finish.
2. Algorithms: outta the 32 chapers 4 are left now..but ofcourse heavy duty revision is required
3. DBMS--- okay i have done most of the calculus part and SQL and all those beginning waala chapters...now, a lotta the stuff that i have done has not been taken up in class as of yet...and the proff is goin to take up Transactional analysis next turn onwards..which i have not done..so like once they are done( which obvio will come for the minors) my course will officially be complete...but of course revision will remain and i'll hafta give loads o time to it.
4. OOPS-- hmm...one v easy chapter left in data modelling+ one in the language part..and then OVER!!!
5. IWT----have a quiz on 4 chapters tomm and i shall do it properly and finish the theory part of the syllabus, JAVA is mostly done but beans and servelets+ lavatron etc has to be done..all in all post the quiz at most a days work to complete the syllabus but the obvio very very heavy duty revision!
6.Economics--i dunno and i dont care!
phew!!! the only solace these past few days has been my books.....otherwise i have been tense , my feet have been ice cold( right now also they are very cold) , i hav been spending entire days taking deep breaths..and my hair..gosh that is one whole depressed post all in itself!..dont even like the way my heart has been beating (!!! too loud actually )..there are so many things on my mind..and how can i not be botherd..but then i do understand what tremendous harm i am causing to my body... thats the only thing that makes be behave more normally...What am i going to get out of getting another 80+%( which apperas to be remote possibility but still ) ...i mean like what.. the 1st company that comes will take me? and then what..i'll slog 24X7 for a grand salary of 2.4 l p.a.??? ..but then too i shall slog and slog like a n idiot..+ Nani ....shez not keeping well ....:( okay this is not my diary and i shall not behave like the idiot that i am..).
I think i'll go and study for the IWT quiz now....
adios
ruchi

added later:
My maid, Meena ,(married with one husband and three kids) and the odd job guy, Waris( married with three wives and one kid) have been giving each other the proverbial 'looks'...they are so totally a disaster waiting to happen!!!
hehehe...

TAGGED!!!!!
Mummy to beta/beti : Chotu/Chutki, raat mein brush karna chahiye, subah one glass milk pina chahiye. Food finish karna chahiye.Chunnu chacha ki belly par lat nahi marni chahiye. Class mein teacher ko peetana nahi chahiye. Kisi ko Tag nahin karna chahiye.
Munnu has tagged me ..i have to write 20 (*gasps, shrieks, faints*) random things about myself and i cant think of two. But:
A) Munnu is a buddy.
B)Munnu is one of the nicest ppl i have come across since i started blogging. ( seriously, i mean it)
C) Munnu is my future Boss.
D) I believe in the all important 'chamchagiri'.
Hence and therefore i shall plod along and hope to reach # 20.

1. The first word i said ( at the ripe old age of 8 months ) was " phooooolll"; not fool, you fool, phool ; phool bole toh philawerr!

2. Gimme hot , steaming food and i'll squirm and make a face at it- gimme stale kal ka khana( that too without reheating ) and i'll eat like i have never eaten in my entire life. Infact, this one time, my maid was about to eat the day before food..and i kept stealing glances at her plate till she herself asked me " didi ji, aap bhi thoda lijiye na" Me and Meena babez shared a plate of rice that day:)

3.When i want to sleep; i generally dont sleep a wink and when i should not sleep at all , i sleep like a log.

4.I am the only girl in this branch of the family in the last 2 generations + most of my Mum's friends are women with 2/1 whatever no. of sons..So on most occasions if i'm at some gathering ten hands will be pushing strands of my hair behind my ears..Another 30 will be pulling my cheeks..another 50 will be trying to hug me..another 200 hundred will be telling me how they have known me since the good old days when i used to pee in their laps. ( applause!!!)Half an hour ago one aunt told me that I look like a chotu si gudiya. Pauses for a second thinks (question mark)and says...bolne aur hasane waali.
grrrrrrr...

5.I hate arguments, taunts, acerbic and rude words on any and every kind.Shouting, screaming etc is not exactly the love of my life.

6.I am very academic , boringly hard working . I just counted this.. Out of fourteen years at school I have amassed 11 books , each given as a prize for General Proficiency , I topped the last sem+ the entire year also! :) ( this sem , however things are quite bleak:( )

7. I cry easily, speak loudly + rudely to me and chances are that I might start crying . A gives B her brand new pencil and I feel a lump in my throat ; Woman in Scandinavia freezes her dead hubby's sperms so that she can have his kids later and I have tears in my eyes; Veer- Zaara sceen one, act one and I am bawling my head off..My neighbor is getting married next week, God only knows what I'll do at the 'vidai'.

8. I had a very pretty Barbie when I was five; my brother stuck her, head first, into a lamp for half an hour and burnt her hair .

9.I hate being disturbed when I am reading a book.

10. I have trained for 5 years in Bharatnatyam and 2 yrs in Kathak...And no, I don't dance now, and no, I don't remember anything I had learnt.

11. I 'm the least techno person on this planet .
Person B : aah..U are studying information technology, 3rd year...
I nod my head dreading whats coming next.
B: my PC is a Pentium abc,whatever whatever, I had loaded sofware bcd, version def and fgh is not working on ghi.I nod my head sagely, excuse myself, run to my room, search madly for my cell, dial Bhai's number and say the following things in a hushed voice lest B hears : hey,umm...chod yaar no time for hi-shai; whats abc, loaded on def not working with mpd??
Oh btw, did i tell you; Bhai is in Medical School.

12. I am generally considered to be very responsible, sincere , nice, harmless etc etc ( all those boring things:D )

13. However only God can save you if you happen to cross my path when i'm angry...aahh..then u'll regret having known me in the first place!

14. My ideal man is handsome, filthy rich , ultra hi-fi, very good sense of humor ????.....naah!!!!! I have some sort of an aversion to good looking guys( dunno why! ), money does NOT matter, i mean like obviously a certain amount is essential...But then my priority will never be money ; I cant stand those-I'm-too-good-for-this-planet types, simple guys are my types ; sense of humor is good but not essential . The only thing that I feel strongly about is the character of the guy!!!Thats the single most important thing for me. Responsibility and sincerity are qualities i respect and cherish. A good brain is very welcom coz i have problems with dumb conversations!

15. I cant sing and something inside me trembles when i see a child being hit or slapped!.

16. I have more than 200 non padhaee waali books at home.

17. I cant see my Mum upset...According to legend when I was 6 months old, Ma was upset and was crying soflty with me in her lap...And lo and behold within 5 mins I was crying my head off.....But obviously I'm mature now..I don't start crying when she cries..I start crying the momet she starts looking upset :D.. Poor Dad..He's like: agar ek roti hai toh kya its essential that the other also cries??:D :D

18. I'm the first person in my family(out of all ppl who are either studying or working) whos not going to be a doctor.

19. I think a lot about CAT; i have things to prove to myself there..I hope I will not disappoint myself this time.

20. I don't give up easily...When everything is bleak then I suddenly become very strong..I'm like hey..everythings against me, so what?? I'll do it!!!! Am at # 20 now..It was easier than I had thought!:)

Who to tag...hmmm....
1. Nivindya--lets see how many things u write about urself that i don't already know , and hey...No cheating!!;)
2. Ranjan--- atleast one point about boarding school, puhleez!!!!!
3.Shreyansh--- cummon...go ahead write twenty random things about urself. the Catch???? NO QUOTES!!!!heheheh...karo..karo!!
4. Pradyot---tum bhi line mein lago..!!!!

OF Dreamz.......
I am happy right now....again for a silly and juvenile reason..a midsem test scheduled for tomm has been postponed...and i am feeling light and without a care on this planet sorts:) but that is not what i intend to talk about here.
A couple of days ago after a bad day wherein loads of things went wrong ( including me shouting ,which since i am very soft spoken had till now been a technical impossibilty , at the top of my lungs at the bus conductor who spoke very very rudely to this old lady. I dont know why i reacted the way i reacted coz i really hate any confrontation of any sort..i hate ppl shouting, i hate fights, i hate angry words and my mum is correct when she tells me i'm not fit for existing on this planet! ) i had a bad night.
I had a dream.....i dreamt that my father is not well....and the dream was very very graphic, very real..i could feel so much in that dream..it was very scary..the dream continued to become more and more frightening and ( gosh.. the dream is so clear in my mind even now..i call recall so much of it as i type)therefore before things became very bad in the dream i woke up with a start...Now bad dreams is something that i guess runs in my family...mum is a sad victim and so i guess, am i..but i'm not those filmi types who wake up all huffing and puffing (whith perfect hair...God only knows how! )..i'm more like the calm ones ( so much like me to be calm when its okay to get hyper and be hyper when its only normal to be calm! )....i just calmy tell my self that the dream was a dream..and if i cant get back to sleep i just pick up some book which generally soothens me and i am asleep in some time. Worse comes to worst the novel does not work ..so then i head towards my always faithful and ultra soporific book on Design and Analysis of Algos by Navathe -that always works!!!
But this tme it was different..i knew no book on this planet would sooth me...no words will calm me ...so i did not even try picking up a book...simply picked my pillow in one hand and my coverlet in the other and went to mum and Dads room...woke both of them up... Dad couldnt help but smile at me clasping my pillow to myself and dragging the coverlet on the floor with the other hand and said," burra dream aaya...??? ". I nodded a yes and told them i had seen Dad ill in the dream and that i cant sleep in my room...so well, i slept once again after soooo many years between mum and dad , exactly the way i used to when i was very little , holding mums hand even as i slept.

Well, i digressed....that is not what i wish to write about....the point is...that since the dream was real, very real.. i coulf feel all that was happening....and i felt ( in the dream) how tremendous my responsibilty had become..i am the eldest child of my parents..i could feel the responsibilities....responsibilities that in reality do not exist(tw) but i did get a taste of them....in my dream i was calculating how long it would be before i start working; things changed...i dont know how to express it......
And when i woke up...its like ..hey , all is the same..i can wadddle to mum and dads room and all that i am supposed to do is study , help mummy in the kitchen once in a while, dont become a 'daaku' or a terrorist, get my legs pulled by bhai, try and hit him twice if he hits me once,think of CAT ,worry about the end sems, nod my head and smile when people ask my mother how she brought me up coz they want their daughters to be like me,nod my head and smile when after a quiz a proff asks the entire class if anyone has studied as much as Ruchi has....but at the same time i was not comforted coz now i know how things can change in a split second....
I dont want anything bad to happen to anyone, not even the people i like the least, no one!
But then as i told Shreyansh ( btw i have been thinking about the MD guy ever since i read ur post) If God gives you a problem then he will give you the courage to face it . period.
May God Bless You All.....
Ruchi.

Dear readers,
Well..as you can see i have deleted the last post that i had put up....I had written the post in an extremely sad state of mind hoping that if i wrote about my feelings i would feel better. I did feel better, not just coz i wrote the post but also because so may of you actually tried to cheer me up......Thank you every one. You bolster my belief that people are basically good .
I removed the post as each time i would glance upon it; i would start rereading it and would immediately be transported to the same frame of mind as i was when i first wrote it... so i felt that it was best that i remove it....
Thank you all once again for being the nice people you all are :)
Ruchi

p.s. Diwali-Id chuttiz end today.

HEAVY-DUTY GUY BASHING!

I am warning everyone before hand that this post is only about guy bashing and i am in a very dangerous mood , in fact my mum and dad might as well hang this outside the house:
Beware of Ruchita..Guys not allowed!
.So you are most welcome to not read this post.


Well..i have to get this out of my system . In recent past a number of things have happened that make me question the integrity of this species called guys.You know i have heard stuff guys have to say about girls..and i always felt that its inane to typecast every girl on the basis of some girls that you know..but now i am going to do the same. I know of this case third hand , as in the girl (A) is a friend of a friend . Girl A was having an affair with this guy .My friend(B) finds her crying very bitterly one evening.The evening in question is A's budday evening and B gets worried and wants to know what has happened .Amidst sobs and tears the story comes out--- Its not a long story , simply put, the guy has not called her to wish her a Happy Budday and she has been waiting for his call since midnight.
B: achcha tell me ...did u speak to him on his budday??
B hopes that in case they did not then myb she can point out the fact that since you did not speak then , so like, you should not expect him to call now.
A: B......, we spoke for threee hrs on his budday........
B tells me that she so totally wanted to give A a hug then.

You know i have never been in a relationship but i could so easily feel the pain that A must have been feeling . Poor girl ! . Its so bad to realise that you are not as important to someone who is very important to you.
I have no idea why guys lead girls to believe that they are important to them when they ARE not!!!!! ( The guy in question here apparently made huge plans of their future together with A ) What pleasure does a guy get from telling a girl how he spends the entire day thinking of her when actually on seeing that the call is hers he winces ??!!! Why?? Why is it important to play with someones feeling..that to, when the girl is a simple girl who is simple and foolish enough to actually like you??
I feel that girls get involved where as guys can say stuff and not mean it.It is a fact , i know for a fact that i wont tell someone that i missed him/her if in reality i did not! The root of the problem lies in the fact that girls are emeotional and dont take things casually....aah...emotions...(deep sigh! )


Some time back i met this guy (D) whom i used to know earlier ..now he is doing Btech from a pretty good college and is a very good luking and very tall( hes 6'3, i asked him! ) and we got talking. Now i am no longer Ruchi didi just ruch and the first thing he asks me is whether i have a boy friend( wink wink) or no.( I told him i did not and he asked me if guys in my college are blind )..well so even though i am not thinking very highly of him ,we have long talk. Okay so he has a girlfriend. Lets call her C.
me: ...so like hows she..temme something about her...
D: her names C, she into reading , just like you,..hmmm...what else...shes good in padhai, pretty...and ..umm..yeah she has a sisiter.......u know what, the sis is like real pretty..and i give her tips on how to study(wink again) ....shes like real coool and wants to clear iit..and shes...( he goes on and on about the sister )
me( considerably surprised) : hey..i asked you about ur gf and u are giving me a detailed account of her sisiter?????
D: well...u.c...i kinda like the sister...
me: oh my gawd?? and C , have you told her this..
D( laughs out loud) : naah...let her think whatever she wants to ( another wink)....btw she has told her parents about me...dunno why girls have to tell their parents everything???
me( thats coz they are not morons! ) : well have you told ur parents about t her...
D( looks agast ): NO! if you think i should tell her to call the thing of f because she has a prettier sister how should i go about doing it.........tell me how should i tell her that nothing concrete can happen between the two of us..
D's friend(who has been laffing and smilimg all thru out while C is being talked about) : yaar..bol de na intercaste allowed nahi hai ghar par...
D: nahin yaar..shes my cast only just different state(sad face)
but then he brightens ....turns towards me.
D: ruchita tell me...usko bol doon interstate ghar mein allowed nahi hai!(starts laughing)
I politely told him that i am sicked by what he just said.Iamgine the girl, all serious about this guy, who no doubt makes her feel nice and special when he is with her, poor girl, has no idea what he really thinks.

See i have started believing that being in a relationship is a BAD idea and all you get out of it is tears, some more tears and some more tears ..naah you get all this only if you are the girl if you are a guy then u just laugh it all off!!! I dont know why guys behave the way they behave....first one girl, then u see a prettier one so you forget the first one and move on to the next one...and so the cycle continues. I hope very bad that when D marries ( whoever he marries) he turns a new leaf and stays loyal to his wife...coz i feel that building trust is very difficult but breaking it is very easy.
Okay accuse me of being dogmatic, stuck in some time zone as far away from present times as possible but i still hold that this concept of one relationship after the next after the next is positive crap , doesnt matter how cool it might be! No one has any right to play with the emotions of anyone( read anyone ) else.This just is not done.How can you purposely lead someone into thinking about a future together when in reality you could not care less about her. But then in life two never equals two. It might be three for some and one for some one else. the fact that i wont do something to someperson in no way means that that someone wont do the same to me!
If i am honest with some one does not mean that someone is going to be honest with me .
If some one is important to me does in no way mean that i am going to be equally important to him.
Im sure any sensible girl would understand the above line......But then guys have no right to make any girl believe elsewise. I just wish that guys who do this would stop doing this and be a bit more sincere. I do not know C, i dont even know A ..no not today...but myb some day , some C, some A is going to be some one who is important to me, my friend, my sisiter..some one who i dont want hurt

But i shall try to be optimistic. May be all guys are not this way. I hope so . Come to think of it... i have brothers who are the kindest souls on this planet...i know of some guys who 'll do anything to help some person in need...Maybe these guys are not like C.
And i also hope very bad that my cousins, friends manage to find THESE guys only.