Tuesday, November 01, 2005


I am warning everyone before hand that this post is only about guy bashing and i am in a very dangerous mood , in fact my mum and dad might as well hang this outside the house:
Beware of Ruchita..Guys not allowed!
.So you are most welcome to not read this post.

Well..i have to get this out of my system . In recent past a number of things have happened that make me question the integrity of this species called guys.You know i have heard stuff guys have to say about girls..and i always felt that its inane to typecast every girl on the basis of some girls that you know..but now i am going to do the same. I know of this case third hand , as in the girl (A) is a friend of a friend . Girl A was having an affair with this guy .My friend(B) finds her crying very bitterly one evening.The evening in question is A's budday evening and B gets worried and wants to know what has happened .Amidst sobs and tears the story comes out--- Its not a long story , simply put, the guy has not called her to wish her a Happy Budday and she has been waiting for his call since midnight.
B: achcha tell me ...did u speak to him on his budday??
B hopes that in case they did not then myb she can point out the fact that since you did not speak then , so like, you should not expect him to call now.
A: B......, we spoke for threee hrs on his budday........
B tells me that she so totally wanted to give A a hug then.

You know i have never been in a relationship but i could so easily feel the pain that A must have been feeling . Poor girl ! . Its so bad to realise that you are not as important to someone who is very important to you.
I have no idea why guys lead girls to believe that they are important to them when they ARE not!!!!! ( The guy in question here apparently made huge plans of their future together with A ) What pleasure does a guy get from telling a girl how he spends the entire day thinking of her when actually on seeing that the call is hers he winces ??!!! Why?? Why is it important to play with someones feeling..that to, when the girl is a simple girl who is simple and foolish enough to actually like you??
I feel that girls get involved where as guys can say stuff and not mean it.It is a fact , i know for a fact that i wont tell someone that i missed him/her if in reality i did not! The root of the problem lies in the fact that girls are emeotional and dont take things casually....aah...emotions...(deep sigh! )

Some time back i met this guy (D) whom i used to know earlier ..now he is doing Btech from a pretty good college and is a very good luking and very tall( hes 6'3, i asked him! ) and we got talking. Now i am no longer Ruchi didi just ruch and the first thing he asks me is whether i have a boy friend( wink wink) or no.( I told him i did not and he asked me if guys in my college are blind )..well so even though i am not thinking very highly of him ,we have long talk. Okay so he has a girlfriend. Lets call her C.
me: ...so like hows she..temme something about her...
D: her names C, she into reading , just like you,..hmmm...what else...shes good in padhai, pretty...and ..umm..yeah she has a sisiter.......u know what, the sis is like real pretty..and i give her tips on how to study(wink again) ....shes like real coool and wants to clear iit..and shes...( he goes on and on about the sister )
me( considerably surprised) : hey..i asked you about ur gf and u are giving me a detailed account of her sisiter?????
D: well...u.c...i kinda like the sister...
me: oh my gawd?? and C , have you told her this..
D( laughs out loud) : naah...let her think whatever she wants to ( another wink)....btw she has told her parents about me...dunno why girls have to tell their parents everything???
me( thats coz they are not morons! ) : well have you told ur parents about t her...
D( looks agast ): NO! if you think i should tell her to call the thing of f because she has a prettier sister how should i go about doing it.........tell me how should i tell her that nothing concrete can happen between the two of us..
D's friend(who has been laffing and smilimg all thru out while C is being talked about) : yaar..bol de na intercaste allowed nahi hai ghar par...
D: nahin yaar..shes my cast only just different state(sad face)
but then he brightens ....turns towards me.
D: ruchita tell me...usko bol doon interstate ghar mein allowed nahi hai!(starts laughing)
I politely told him that i am sicked by what he just said.Iamgine the girl, all serious about this guy, who no doubt makes her feel nice and special when he is with her, poor girl, has no idea what he really thinks.

See i have started believing that being in a relationship is a BAD idea and all you get out of it is tears, some more tears and some more tears ..naah you get all this only if you are the girl if you are a guy then u just laugh it all off!!! I dont know why guys behave the way they behave....first one girl, then u see a prettier one so you forget the first one and move on to the next one...and so the cycle continues. I hope very bad that when D marries ( whoever he marries) he turns a new leaf and stays loyal to his wife...coz i feel that building trust is very difficult but breaking it is very easy.
Okay accuse me of being dogmatic, stuck in some time zone as far away from present times as possible but i still hold that this concept of one relationship after the next after the next is positive crap , doesnt matter how cool it might be! No one has any right to play with the emotions of anyone( read anyone ) else.This just is not done.How can you purposely lead someone into thinking about a future together when in reality you could not care less about her. But then in life two never equals two. It might be three for some and one for some one else. the fact that i wont do something to someperson in no way means that that someone wont do the same to me!
If i am honest with some one does not mean that someone is going to be honest with me .
If some one is important to me does in no way mean that i am going to be equally important to him.
Im sure any sensible girl would understand the above line......But then guys have no right to make any girl believe elsewise. I just wish that guys who do this would stop doing this and be a bit more sincere. I do not know C, i dont even know A ..no not today...but myb some day , some C, some A is going to be some one who is important to me, my friend, my sisiter..some one who i dont want hurt

But i shall try to be optimistic. May be all guys are not this way. I hope so . Come to think of it... i have brothers who are the kindest souls on this planet...i know of some guys who 'll do anything to help some person in need...Maybe these guys are not like C.
And i also hope very bad that my cousins, friends manage to find THESE guys only.


amit said...

do agree with u fr a no of points u hv put up in the post. but why do gals pretend so dumb when a guy goes on n on on praising her ?

again 'no marriage' issues goes with gals also. no wonder a lot of guys hear from gals ' my family is not in favour of marriage with u. so please mujhe bhool jao' n then look at the wicked grin on the girl's face.

u really seem to be in a bad mood.... i think mujhe kat lena chaiye....:)

ranjan said...

2 things :),

1. As Amit said, its not about being a guy or a grrl, it is about being conscious of one's power to take advantage of others and to choose to wield it. Whatever you wrote, I can exactly replicate with a personal experience where the grrl tonked the guy beegtime. So, you should understand, the thunder doesn't stike only one way, and the crux is people don't care enuff abt other ppl's emotions, there key to life is they and they only, the circle is too small :).

2. What happened to ur cuz, I summarised in one of my posts in a single sentence, Sometimes what you do can mean the World to someone, and sometimes just by doing nothing, you unknowingly take away the world from someone. How true :).

Finally, lemme know if its okay for guys to visit ur blog :), if its not, then as Amit said, Katlofying is a better option :D.

dotty_pixie said...

hey hey hey...
well written post..guys successfully bashed!
u knw, i hope that we're wrong.im ready to give them the benefit of doubt..
but sadly,iv seen it time and again..the way guys talk abt girls,its sickening and totally breaks ur faith. unfortunatly,despite being the queen of second/third/fourth chances,iv realised its no use..
guys will be guys.
im sure there are like a handful of them who actually are decent enuf,but my hopes are dwindling by the day.
dont u wish we were bak in our fantasies,blissfully unaware of the disappointments that await us?

neway, hope springs eternal??all i know is u deserve a great guy..and if the guys dont realise that,their loss!
hey..myb i can open an online matchmaking forum?

ranjan said...

No replies :o, u r fast losing out on the title of "fastest Blog-post-replier" :P...

Me cs, u had lots of fun on diwali, umm :), well, femmes taking 1 hr to get ready :), naya kya hai :P, my mom always takes more than that :), we allot an extra hour and a half for her to get ready b4 a family outing :)) and she is a good sport for teasing :P...

Yellow and pink salwars and all..can some pics be in order here :D ?

Raam Pyari said...

since Ranjan has threatened to take away from me the coveted epithet of being the fastest blog post replier ( which i hold very dear ) i shall now immmediately reply to all the comments.

Amit-----see, the key word here is pretends; she pretends..aahh...but she loooovvveeesss it!
see, i cannot really imagine a wicked grin on the face of any girl when she does that'mujhe -bhool-jao' thing. Infcat i would take the liberty of presuming that that would be an onerous and not-so-enviable task for any girl.
My point in the post does not in any way refer to the family problems where in the guys/girls family is the villain..but it solely deals with the reprehensible proclivity guys have towards leading a girl to believe that she is the sole reason he lives when in reality he does nt care a penny for her.
and plzz kato mat!

Ranjan----- haan..true... i do not make empty boasts, when i said i read ur entire blog, i meant that i read ur entire blog. Hence and therefore i clearly remember both the line as well as the post about that one online expeience.
Now see, though you shall maintain i dignified silence ( and i think i am quoting u here ;) gosh ratane ki itani buri adat ho gayi hai ki ab toh unconsciously hi rat leti hoon sab kutch!!!)about the identiy of the person, i think i have some idea about who that guy might be. See the thing is that i have in recent times only seen guys behaving like crap, moreover i am not on back slapping terms with any guy( other than bhai , jisko if i back slap once , i'm sure to get two slaps in return) so that post of urs was indeed an eye opener.But i still believe that girls being the more emotional lot have lesser tendency of hurting guys....Gurls dont often do that..moreover i also think that an important reson why the girl in ur post ended the relationship was coz she was not okay with the whole concept of an internet friendship evolving into something bigger..shes was plain scared yaar...plain scared....add to that a 'context starved, eager to advice ' friend...and you have ..DISASTER!!!
vaise..mujhe woh ladaki mil jaaye na..toh uski achchi si pitai kar doon!

nivindya-----aaah...finally i can speak openely against boys!! yay!!!
no, see, i will still like to be optimistic ( akhir mera blood group bee positive hai ;) ), i mean look at our fathers, pretty decent,eh? bhai? qiute dececnt in his own way...???
but you know, one should nevar get emotionally involved with guys...thats when the problem begins...
i think we are much happier the way we are..really life is much simpler and less complicated yaar!!! and there are loads of ppl like us...!! :)
yahi soocho aur khush raho!
btw...as you know , in my case , i really cant afford it
*falls down the chair laffing!!*

cactus said...

..it solely deals with the reprehensible proclivity guys have towards leading a girl to believe that she is the sole reason he lives when in reality he does nt care a penny for her..."

U r with th assumption that feelings alway remain same..It may happen that U may not have the same feelings for the girl who at one time may be the sole purpose of u'r life..In this case you may have to pretend so that she doesn't get hurt...

Canary said...

gawwwdd... dats heavy duty bashing !! but dearie, life is not so simple.. thr r loads of varieties of girls (yes!) and guys around, hu like playing diff sorts of games.. its jus dat girls get emotional faster.. so higher chances of gettin hurt.. so one cant radically talk of not getting emotionally involved, becoz u don knw wat might happen tom..

and yes, wen its our brothers, v say they'r the kindest souls... wat if they also hurt the emotions of som girl u dont knw about ?

anyways.. happy diwali.. :)

p.s. ranjan, how com, ur missing from my blog? r u not doing any "think"ing ?

ranjan said...

"btw...as you know , in my case , i really cant afford it"...Conservative parents, eh :)..

To Astha : Ur Blog is too heavy for my senses, mademoiselle :), and as u know "think"ing is not my cup of tea :P

abhinav said...

Bhaiyya yeh ladka ladki ka locha to mahabharat ke time se aaj tak chala aa raha hain.( remember Hum Tum ).ok , everybdy has his or her own prism through which the world is viewed.From watever interaction ive had , most girls are human and most guys are sick.most guys dnt respect women apart frm their mother n sisters.even in cyber world , frm blogs to orkut to messenger , they think of flirtin.thats STRICTLY my opinion.n if someone now points at me and yells "hey dork , what are you like ?" , well, those who know me , know me. any boys angry at my comment , try cyber slapping me.

Raam Pyari said...

cactus----hey welcome to my blog... naah..i am not talikng about feelings changing..i'm just talking abt the fat fact that girsl can be such a majr time pass for guys!!!!

aastha----hmm...well you are right but i still hold that guys are crappier than girls! bhagvaan bachaye un ladakon se!!!

ranjan---naah..justa joke between me n nivindya...

Abhinav---you are so TOTALLY right!!!!!! You have summed up everything very well!!!! And you are so totally right about cyber world also! (deep sigh! )
* gives abhi a sitting ovation*

kshitij said...

well,what i just read was something which to my utter regret is true.lets accept it guys.
but then there is always that little %age of the honest ones contributing their bit to make the world go round.
all in all a gr8 hard hitting,reality bites stuff...algebra put to good use too.

Pradyot said...

Considering how rare incest is, making generalities based on this case is not a very good idea. But even if you do want to derive them... I don't think remembering a birthdate/anniversary/v-day/etc is that important a deal. In my opinion moments of having the other person's company.. moments enjoyed together are far more important than remembering moments or dates of particular events.
As for the guy D... let PETA know that a stray dog is in town and if they don't take care of him soon you will blow his brains out.
And last but most important... these are not relationships... these are flings and no fling is worth a tear.

Ashish said...

oh wow! thats pretty much bashing! couldn't take it all ;)

Ok how about:
- this particular girl I know who screw around with guys' feelings n lives. Oh I mean she literally sleep with them once in a while for favours!
and she and some other I happen to know who change BFs every 6 months. I mean that literally- seen happening with some buddies!

Oh and girls know we guys are born rascals!!!! Who asked them to be "that" serious with their so-called BFs who take pride in 'maintaining' more than 1 girl?
Shit happens in life, go get an umbrella!

PS: thankfully no one every duped me and I didn't played with anyone's feelings ever! We both are quite content and committed:|

PPS: good blog, came from abhi's blog.

Anonymous said...

hmmm..!! kinda ohkay!!

bhai said...

itsz me!

Raam Pyari said...

kshitij sir----- hmm... yes, glad that you accept what i rote.. btw i like to believe that you belong to that 'little %' :)

pradyot----well..no i am not making any generalities based on the kind of relationship, and no, its perfectly okay if a guy forgets any date! but my point is that look at how involved a girl can be when for a guy things can be very casual..dunno abt you, but dunno why but i kinda felt soooo bad for that girl. And yeah i think its a gud idea to inform the PETA guys! btw loved ur post on dowry

And last but most important... these are not relationships... these are flings and no fling is worth a tear.

very correct, but generally what might be a mere fling for a guy ( specially the kinds i am targetting here) it is NOT for a girl! The guy is very happy, no rona -dhona simply coz its a fling for him but for most girls...naaah...things are much more serious!

ashish---welcome to my blog!!!( though i do believe that you have visited my blog before also, coz i think you left a comment also,) well...it takes all types to amke a world..no doubt, but the manner in which a lot of guys behave is more reprehensible than the way girls are inclined to behave. Girls are not as frivolous...but there are exceptions, no doubt!
Happy for u n ur girl :)

bhai-----fir bina padhe comment choda hai!!! x(

latika said...

totally agree with u on this
ok... i don't know what the deal with most guys is but though i am not a lesbian i must say i hate most men!
i saw Shadi no. 1....... no entry......masti........( why did i? )absolutely vahiyaat!! they just leave u with a bad taste in ur mouth: what r these people tryin to show? and guys find all this funny ...DaaaaaaHH!!!!are all men like that....shit! ?

Raam Pyari said...

Latika----hehehe!!!hahahaha!! thats such a totally latika-esque comment!!! we know that only low iq ppl can actually find stuff of these movies fuuny!!!
khair i'll do wat you have asked me to abhi soon okay!

Ashish said...

did I? I dont remember. but then I might have- I do so much blog-hopping I dont really remember them except my regular reads ;) Glad I am remembered :)

Yes of course it takes all to make the world! And as we both agree most from my gender are born rascals, though we have lotsa b****** around!!!!!!
The boy-girl debate would never end, and its very individualistic- we cannot generalise. Nevertheless you have put down the most essential argument in the whole
debate, viz - But i shall try to be optimistic. May be all guys are not this way.

Obi Wan said...

I'll start with with empathizing with your friend's friend. No one(guy or girl) deserves such shabby treatment. But am taking a big risk by turning the whole thing around with some generalities of my own. From my limited experience of the world, more often than not, it is the women who are leading poor men along, never being afraid in lying to them, being totally insensitive to their feelings (by playing 'cool' or 'hard to get'), and it is the guys who are the emotional fools who get suckered by this. Can think of umpteen examples of this brazen display of emotional power by women over men, including something that happened with yours truly. When it comes to scruples, methinks guys have much more integrity than women, and women just happen to be much more ruthless than men. OK, now I've gone ahead and put my foot in my mouth again. Sorry if I hurt any feelings, but I am sure at least a small percentage of people will agree with me in public(and a much larger percentage in private)! May the Force be with you!

Raam Pyari said...

ashish---aah..u are indeed remembered!!! :)

obi wan----first and foremost, Welcome to my blog!! :)
you know wat, i think that when we get this general idea that if we do not do /think/behave in a certain way then that precludes a similar behavior on part of the person we are dealing with. Like if am not being dishonest , i would invariably presume and hope that you are not being dishonest with me. thats te problem. Putting faith in someone who does not deserve faith....And yess from the comments that i have got, the general inference that i have got is that women can be as bad....see i am being very naive coz like since i would not behave in a particular manner i believe no girl would! BUt it takes all types to make the world. Though i shall still hold that generally women do not hurt guys as much as guys can hurt women. I shall still hold that...but then there can be exceptions.

speedy gonzales said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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