lets just say that i do not often say how i feel about things . And it freaks her out. I had a massive mail to mail argument with her this past week. I dont speak out for myself most of the times.Thre were some issues that she wished discussed .You know how it can be with people who do not vent out feelings often enough...they erupt..simply errupt, without any warning , at times at the slightest provoaction and sadly, the worst affected are people who should be least affected...
So, i get this quiet mail from her wishing to discuss some things and i errupt.I am totally belligerent/bellicose. I send her a very and totally out-of-character-ly heated reply. I use loads of capslock . I use loads of ' freaking crazy' . I am rude.I know thats not me...but for once i'm sick of being me... But yes..i speak. The only saving grace is that even in my moment of anger i dont ( hopefully )say anything that might hurt her.
The next day i get a reply. As i wait for the mail to open i'm still belligerent. Fuming. Angry. Okay. Fine.
For the next few minutes i just read and read ... and then reread and then rereread........
Its not a letter , its a big throbbing heart. Its so totally full ..no.. overflowing with love that i am speechless for some time.Its about 10 million Gb of unadulterated friendship...Shes just glad that i am speaking about how i feel. No mention of how rude i have been...nothing . Sometimes people can shut you up by just simply being nice . Its easy to be nice to some when that person is being nice to u; but very difficult to be nice when the person infront is moving hell to become unbearably unbearable. I sit there happily, snugly ensconced in the wunderful feeling of having been indulged when i rightfully desrved censure.
Thats my best friend for you....I so totally proudly present her to you.Tadaaaa!!!!!
In a very close friendship spanning almost 15 yrs and a handfull of cities post leaving school and a couple of continents we have had our ups and downs. Both of us can irritate , bug, drive mad-to-suicide the other one in a matter of seconds . The dynamics have changed.Okay so now i dont know what she had for lunch yesterday...but shes the first one i think of when something happens. I tell her xyz told me i'm too thin..she tells me i am a delicate thing , I tell her i think i am stupid and idiotic, she tells me that i am ALWAYS wrong. I tell her i hate my teeth , she tells me her sister would die to have teeth like mine.Shes there...she has alwyas been there, and by alwyas i mean always( cud you please stop feeling guilty about that one stupid time??? ).
My family has 5 people.
Dad--hes the one i run to when a slimy caterpillar has just taken a leisurely walk across my neck, hes the one i wake up when i hear a cat in the kitchen at midnight....whats the use of bringing up a daughter who wont be the Damsel-in-distress once in a while and let u be the Knight-in-shinning-armour. :)) ( even though the area of expertise is restricted to flicking away innocous caterpillars and chasing away cats on nocturnal strolls...)
Ma--I dunno wat shes made of....maybe i do...take a cauldron add some potion of concentrated love..stirr...wait for the hissing sound...put some more love..add some more love ...some more...some more..a little more keep adding more till...voila!!! MUMEEEEEEE.
Bhai--he so totally shud not read this!. Hes the funny man...can make me laugh like crazy any(read ANY ) time. Pulls my leg real bad...can make me cry like crazy any (read ANY ) time. Hes going to become a doctor..people will put the lives of their loved ones in his hands..they'll trust my personal court jester to save the lives of people so important to them. He'll save lives.....He'll save lives..... That li'l thing without front teeth, who used to lisp-' i laab looo ' in reply to ma's 'i love you' will save lives. ALL the very best Bhai.
my friend--if i can be half as good a friend to her as she is to me...i would rate myself as a very very very good friend!
I wonder if these people are just plain silly to surround me with such unquestioned, unconditional, unadulterated,unyielding love..or am i just plain lucky....I think its the latter...i so totally think its the latter.