Hi,

I wonder, and for once I desperately need answers from you, if it is bad to be good.

With it being all cool and in to be into drinking, sleeping around, having good guy friends with whom you share rooms……is it normal to not do any of this?

Do you need to give yourself a shake? Why do I just totally completely dislike it and why do I increasingly find myself around people who are steeped into all this?

Why do I find it so difficult to smile when people brag about their love bites? Why do I find it difficult to nod my head when people make plans to check out the I know I am different. I know I do not do this and do not like it but then why…I don’t even know what I want to say.

I am not an angel form the heavens above but I have lived by the book and I know every one has the right to live their lives the way they want to but so many people who are like us have been up to no good so very often (as I have found out recently) that I really have absolutely no faith….in what I do not know…… I just wish…I don’t even know how to put that into words…….

Just that I wish I could go back to time when I was 10, with my parents and the most scandalous thing I could have done was to pick up a Sidney Sheldon.

I probably need to distance myself from a lot of things. I just want to be on a break Just go home, to my Mum, Dad and Bhai or be just with Sid. Be with the people who accept me the way I am…without any dopes/ joints/ alcohol/ sleeping around/ ex boyfriends…..

Such is life.

Of me and Bahin...

Well, so some of you know me better than I know myself! I am indeed back and I am surprised ! I know, some of who had even prophesied an early return-- ‘waah’ ‘waah’ to you!
:)

Now, let me tell you how Sayesha, unknowingly paid a beeeg role in my return.

You know, I am not Raam Pyari, as in I was not named RP by my parents .But yet it has somehow become a part of my identity. ‘Smilethesmile’ is just a blog, I know, but it is indeed at least a small part of my identity. It is difficult to get a new name, a new address and pretend as if all was like before.

In comes Sayesha.

I am, I guess, one of her most regular readers even if I do not comment on each and every post. So, when I came face to face with the problem coz of which I had stopped blogging here, the first person whose advice I wanted to take was, well, you guessed it right, Sayesha.

So, I went to her blog, but sadly there was no email contact to be found and I again found myself at sea.

So, with all this happening, ‘Blogging all the way’ shut down and all, I happened to read the latest post at the bar.
500 drinks :) !!!

[Cheers, bahin, btw! ]

There is this one line in her post which I shall not quote, which was almost like ‘Bahin’ talking to me about the problem I was facing here. In the post she also mentions what she thinks about such a situation .AndI could so totally see her point of view. It was an epiphany of sorts, the clouds parted and there was the proverbial sunshine all around.

So, that got me thinking, and the more I thought about it, the more sure I started feeling about reopening this place.

I will not/ cannot die for ‘Blogging all the way..’ but you see, it is two years of me- from the time when I was in 2nd year Btech till today, when I have just finished the last theory exam I will ever write as a student of a Btech course.

Almost two years and about 180 posts.

That is a lot of me.

I could not let it go, just like that.

I kept thinking about all of you who read whatever crap I write here. I mean, it just seemed useless to let go of this place.

Hence and therefore, I am back and Bahin is to be at least partially thanked for the dramatic return!

So, I take this[she has just reached post number 500] opportunity to thank Bahin, not for writing that particular post but for churning out post after post, for allowing me and others like me , unknown strangers , to peek into her life , for being honest, for being funny ,for sharing with us the smallest of things, for sharing with us the biggest of things , for making the bar such an integral part of our lives.And for helping me decide on coming back here:)

500 down?
5000 more to go re!

The good thing was that due to all that happened here, I got a chance to know some of my readers here who took out the time to actually mail me.

Keep Rocking!

RP.

P.S. Girl series will be back. I will try and finish the story before I leave my city!
I do not think I need to put this here, but Sayesha a.k.a. Bahin can be found at www.sayesha.blogspot.com