British Ways

So I have now been in the land of the Queen for almost 8 long months and consider myself something of an authority on all things British.

Ok I do not.

But there are certain things that I have noticed here that are unmistakably different from us back home.

A reader of my blog who very interestingly calls herself/ himself SJ asked me once by way of a comment about the manners of the Brits. Hence the post!

1. You make a big show of keeping the door ajar for the person walking behind you. – Be it office or a tiny gate outside your building apartment when you open a door and before you shut it , you look back and in case you see anyone within some 100 miles who might walk through that gate you hold it open, or keep a restaining palm on the door signifying how much you want to keep the door open. It is polite. Everyone does it here and no matter how useless the whole practice might be, very soon you will find yourself doing the same.
2. Pehle Aap!- This happens in the tube when two people move towards the lone empty seat. Both will use their hands and expressions to say, “ Ma’am/ Sir please go ahead and take the seat. Kind Regards XYZ”. This will go one for some seconds when someone will finally take the seat. If it’s a man and a woman, the woman will ultimately take the seat, if they are people of the same gender, the older one will take the seat. I fins this in contrast to the way we rush to take seats and giving it up is something we cannot even consider.

3. In the defense of my des waalas, the Brits here are not travelling in a rickety bus with the outside temp at a mere 50 degrees C and no AC in the bus! If that were the case, British politeness might have been different. However, to be fair, it might have still been the same, in which case, due respect!

4. Love/ Darling: the older lot, the grannies and the grand dads will often refer to you as ‘Love’. For example you are standing in the middle of a narrow aisle and are lost in thoughts, chewing gum and vaguely thinking that the gum has a very revolting taste. Suddenly you hear a soft , “Excuse me, love”. You turn around wondering why your husband has a funny voice now and come face to face with a white haired lady in a skirt and cardigans. You smile and give her way.

5. The way they greet you on the phone- the way someone here will greet you will be more affectioinate than how your mum will greet you when you go back to apna des after 10 years. The receptionist at the Parlour will sound more excited about talking to you at 9 in the morning than you will ever be to talk to the love of your life!

So much for the time being. More later!

Good News

When I got a job here in London in June, I was told that I would be on a temporary offer for the first six months. They were to take a call at the end of that time period. They said it would be enough time for both of us, the company and myself to decide whether or not I wanted to stay here.

Today, less than 2 months into my role, my boss asked me if I would be happy to accept a permanent offer from the company.

I was taken aback- we had been discussing her marriage and her question came out of the blue! I, ofcourse said a yes and as she explained some intricate thing to me on Webex, I was busy messaging Sid the good news.

That is one worry off my head. I had never expected that this would happen so quick! My bosses seem really happy with what I am doing. I honestly think I am do a miserable job here at times. So I do not know what is working, but am glad that it is!:)

I just wanted to share this bit of good news with you guys!

Sleep Tight:)

Love
RP

Hi

I was travelling by the DLR- it’s a kind of overground tube that runs in my part of London when I saw her

Of African origin, with a sparkling skin. Very tall, with the longest legs possible. Very well turned out- with perfect nails, dress, shoes , hair. She was wearing huge fashionable shades. Hair pulled back in a very in hairstyle that suited her well. Black 6 inch heels. Black glittering bag.

She seemed so confident, well to do and successful. A little arrogant perhaps. A little intimidating, maybe. The perfect work woman.

I looked at her with envy as I chatted with Ma catching up on her day. I wondered why I can never look like that. I can look sweet at best- never this kind of Oh My God.

Mummy said something and I laughed. As I laughed I stole a glance at her again- just curious to check out her watch. That’s when I saw them.

Big Fat tears. Rolling down her cheeks from under her shades.

She hurriedly wiped them off with a tissue she clutched tightly in her hands. With the tears removed, she went back to looking like she belonged to a near perfect life.

A few seconds later some more escaped from beneath her shades.

That made me think how often we think how perfect the life of XYZ person is and have no idea what actually is going on.

And brought back to my head a hymn I learnt way back in school:

Count your blessings
And name them one by one
And you will be surprised to see
What the Lord has done.

How true!!

Sleep Tight.
Love
RP

30th day from now!

Ok. So what is so special about the 30th day from now?

On the 30th day from now , by this time, my folks would have landed at Heathrow!

Yes! Yes!!!!Yessss!!YESSSSSS!!

They are coming to London!!!!!!

*jubilant victory dance*

For 2 whole weeks!!

*another jubilant dance!*

Their visa is done and tickets have been booked! I have applied for leave from work which has been accepted(yeaay!) , I know when I am going to fall ill- so sick leave has been decided as well!!

We have applied for schenegan visa so lets see if that can happen!

I am so so excited about Mum and Dad coming to London. My Dad is well travelled across Europe but Mum has not been abroad before. I am just so excited. I have so many plans for them. Musicals, walks, shopping, Buckingham palace, Trafalgar square, hyde park, picadilly circus and may be just maybe , if we are not too late already, then Switzerland as well!
Sid has been such a sweetheart getting all the paper work done for my folks. It just warms
my heart to the core when he does all this.

I just hope all works fine and they have a lovely trip here!

Btw, did I say “Yeaaaayyyyyyyy!!!”

Love
RP

Goals


Hi,

I always start finding my life meaningless if I do not have atleast one major goal. Also, that goal cannot be any goal- it has to be a particular type of goal.
Till I was studying, it was simple- all my goals were academic. In engg college I wanted to be rank one and in B school I wanted to get just one medal. When I started working, goal was to get more than 730 in GMAT, then it was to get about 110 in Toefl and so on…..The common thing about these goals is that just thinking about them would give me the goose bumps. It would be something I could think about for hours. It would be the motivation that would make me put in that extra hour, it would be the madness that would make me mug up even though it was an open book exam. It was what made saying NO to that movie very easy.

My biggest problem with work is that I have not been able to find such a goal. Day to day tasks are not what I call proper goals. Every one does them. I make sure I do them well enough- I ensure that my bosses ( I have two and both are Australians! ) are happy with me ( which there are TW) but what lacks is a big goal.

Of late I think I have managed to find a couple for myself.

One is very big and very ambitious. I have never attempted such a thing before and I have no clue if I will be able to achieve it- I have started working towards it and am very keen to see if I have the capability to accomplish such a thing. It requires a lot of patience and hard work. I am more than ready to put that in- only thing is I hope that some good comes out of the hours I am putting into it even after working and managing the household without any help here.

The other one is related to work. Again ambitious, but not very. Its just something I am keen to see if I will be able to do. There is little in my hands here apart from doing my best and that is exactly what I am going to do.

The third is related to academics. I have been thinking about these great colleges you have in the UK. It would be an absolute shame to live for sometime in the UK and not have some experience with them. No, I am not going to target any big course- I am don’t with PhD attempts and with 7 months of work ex stand no chance of getting through another management programme. However there is something else that I have my eye on. I wanted to do it this year but since I had to start work, I knew it was not technically possible. So that is something I am looking at doing next year around this time.

Let see how many of these I achieve. May be I will achieve none….I don’t know….no harm in trying anyways, right?:)

Ma and Mummy

You know how it is after you get married. Things change. You leave behind some people , you starting valuing some much more than you ever did before, you meet some others.

Which brings me to a set of people I have never mentioned on my blog.

The inlaws.

I have been married for almost 8 months now and on the basis on my experience so far can thankfully say that I have been very very lucky.

My Mom in law is a house wife and a very nice lady. I speak to her almost each day but never in these 8 months has she ever said even one word that has hurt me any which way. And trust me that is really a very big thing. She is exceptionally beautiful, slim and very fair with lovely delicate features. Most interestingly, she is very broad minded.
One of the first things she told me when I came into the house as a brand new bride was this:

“People tell us Indian women to treat our husbands like Gods. Treat yours like one if he first begins to behave like one!”

I remember laughing like mad at this.

I have spent a couple of days with her when my husband was not at home. If I would get up anytime before 8 she would be horrified. She would insist that I sleep till atleast 9.

One of her neighbours warned her to not behave like this with me. Mom in law got really angry.

Very indignantly she told her friend that when my sis in law comes over, she sleeps for as long as she wants so why should not I do the same.

She is very different from my own mother. I mean both are nice women- genuinely kind and loving but of course they are different.

So suddenly, the day after I got married- I was the proud owner of two mothers- Ma, my mother and Mummy- Sid’s mom.

They get along well. Touch wood.

Yesterday they spent a whole day together and were planning to go watch ‘I have love storys’ together. That got me thinking. How different it would have been if my parents had some issues with my in laws. Had my laws been the mean kinds who taunt the daughter in law about the watch that the bride’s family did not give as part of gifts at the wedding.

And no, do no think all this does not happen now a days. It very much does. I know first hand that it does. I don’t know how I would deal with that.

So here is pic of Ma and Mummy. This pic was taken during my sangeet.

As usual I am missing Ma a lot but a regular reader of my blog will know that there is nothing new about that.




Sigh.
Love RP

The Heights!

At five feet 2 I am quite tiny. My boss, a ten feet tall Australian is a strapping old man.


Today, he took long to offer me a chair even though I was standing because he thought that I was sitting.

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Identity

I have tried my level best to protect my anonymity on this blog for the last 5 years.

But now I wonder.

I wonder whether I should continue to be anonymous or should I be the person I am in real life.

Do my readers need to know who I am?

Would it matter in any which way?

Has Ram Pyaari lived long enough? Should the real me take her place?

What would be the pluses of being myself?

And more importantly what would be the minuses?

It does not seem fair. I am NOT RP. That is not me. We are the same person but I am not RP.

As you can see I am thinking about not remaing anonymous on this blog. My Mother thinks I should disclose my real identity on the blog but I am divided. The comfort of anonymity is wonderful. Part of me does not want to let it go. I cannot decide but it is something I have been thinking about for sometime now!

Let me know what you think.

Love
RP

Paintings :)

Two step process for this one. Am not happy with it but posting it nevertheless.

Step 1

Simple sketch:




Step 2:



This painting is actually inspired from the paintings of my grandfather-who is ofcourse atleast a million times better than I am.

Regards
RP