8 months of being a mum

• Feeding solids is a whole new ball game all together
• By the time we are done with a bowl of daal, the baby, yours truly, the bed and if we are lucky the walls- are all covered in daal
• Today for example, when we finished with a banana, there was copious amounts of it in the baby's hair. Do not ask me how.
• It takes a LOT of time to get banana out of a baby's hair
• You will find weird things in the baby's hair.
• And in his diaper. #ouch
• I have now not slept a full night for 8 months
• Babies squirm more than they sleep
• You are more awake than asleep any given night. 
• You will learn the art of selective hearing #sayNoToTikoni
• Nails grow really fast. Like really fast.
• Babies love to scratch faces.
• Babies love to pull on ear rings
• Do not wear hoops if you have a baby
• Do not wear studs if you have a baby
• Babies have this heart meltingly cute toothless smile
• As your baby grows your back will begin to hurt more and more
• nothing beats a hug from your own child
• You will learn to sing even if you never used to sing pre-baby
• Was there a 'pre-baby' time? what exactly did you do with your time then? And DO I RECALL YOU SAYING THAT YOU WERE $%^$%^$$#$%# BUSY THEN? BUSY? THEN! YOU IDIOT!
• You will realise that pre-baby you were just a grown up baby
• i have in the last 8 months watched 2 episodes of something on the telly and one cricket match
• Gloat alert- i have in the last 8 months released a book and written half of my next 
• Giving birth and taking care of a baby gives you a certain kind of confidence you never had before
• you want the world to be a better place
• You want the world to be a happier place
• you have little time for negative people
• You have little time for anyone else apart from your baby
• Babies blabber 
• If the baby has just blabbbered 'hanuman' he is not a hanuman bhakt. no he does not know 'Hanuman jee'. No God is not telling you anything. No, he does NOT KNOW HANUMAN JEE
• In indian malls random girls will squeal when they look at a baby. Always.
• And pinch the baby's cheeks
• And take selfies.
• And get a tad upset if the image is blurry because baby was not still
• Baby will move around in the mall patting random strangers on their hands.
• Babies are great conversation starters
• Mums bond instantly because they are  mums
• Sisterhood of motherhood. #fact
• People will ask you how your HOLIDAY is coming along.
• @#$@#$@#%#$$^%&%^&^HU^&H*&%$#@#$%@$^#$%
• Hit them.
• Or better - give them the baby for one day and one night.
• Taking take of someone else's baby is the best contraception. #haha
• You will realise how wrong it is for random aunties to ask why that girl who has been married for 3 years has not yet reproduced. Not your %^$^$%^$ business.
• You realise you begin to swear a lot 
• Silently.
• Your parents will love your baby more than they love you. Fact. Deal with it.
• Seeing your parents with your baby will melt your heart. Like all the time. #PerpetualHeartMelt
• you finally begin to appreciate what your folks did for you
• You really really hope you were an easy baby
• No one deserves a stroppy child or a fractious baby. 
• No one.
• If you have a boy you realise that you will be someone's saasu ma one day. #scary
• Your baby, no matter how small will become your best friend.
• You will make a song about baby;s potty. Okay you may not, i did. but then i am a bit bonkers that way
• Often the lullabies you are singing will make you doze off but baby will remain wide awake
• The first time baby rolls over and pats you on your shoulder to wake you up will make you tear up. #MeraBetaSayanaHoGayaHai
• The things that make a baby laugh.
• Nothing beats cuddling up next to your baby for a snooze. 
• The snooze will last about 2 mili seconds.
• You will talk a lot to your baby
• Just when you know it that they are understanding everything he will begin to giggle at something tragic.
• You will stand at the airport, baby in sling, singing to baby and swinging from right to left.
• The utter feeling of unbriddled joy when someone asks you ki ye baby kiska hai.#muhahahaha
• Babies are hilarious
• Sometimes you cannot stand them and cannot bear to be away from them. At the same time. #insane
• A lot of things about motherhood are insane. #Fact
• Pregnancy weight falls off. It does.
• The joy when pre pregnancy clothes begin to fit again.
• you wonder how it would feel like to sleep through the night. #fantasy.
• You wish you were a man and could have a baby without having to go through nine months of hell.  
• Good thing you are not a man, else you would have had about 10 more ;)

More soon ;)

Not babies. Posts. Silly.

Love

R