Sunday, November 17, 2013

Letter to the husband...

Sid,

Today, 4 years ago, as i cried bucket fulls in front of the rather horrified pandit jee, with the aag as saakshi (and other equally dramatic stuff), you put the proverbial sindoor in my maang.

In other words, we got married.

Marriage, like most important things in life unfortunately, does not come with a manual. No well thumbed book to tell me what to expect and how to deal with someone i had never lived with. In fairness, by the same logic, both of us were manual-less, you as much as me,  and we fumbled and tumbled as we groped in the dark. Okay edit that. Came out all wrong. But having been my husband for the last 4 years, you get the picture? Though we are far from being veterans, i do feel we have come a long long way.

Because i married you I feel I grew up twice. Once with my parents at home in India. And the second time, because i married you so young, I grew up again here in London.

Marriage has changed me. And i hope it has changed you in some ways too.

In living with you, i live with someone who is a) very clever and b)very alert. Even the random ticket guy in Croatia, after asking you a couple of questions (including a trick question in the end) about the map on the ticket looked at me and said ' He is such a nerd!' I don't know how you know it all. But being the dreamer that i am, I am very glad that you do!

In living with you, I live with someone who is very good at his job. That is, to say the least, very inspiring. Given that we do similar roles now, if i can be half as good as you are, i will be very happy!

In living with you, I live with someone who wants to show me the world. Like we calculated the other day, we have traveled to 18 different countries in the last 4 years and have been to some of them more than once. You have made the studious, home body me enjoy and revel in travelling, you literally opened the doors of the world and its possibilities to me. I thank you for that. (Keep at it, by the way, I want to see more!)

In living with you, I live with an extremely confident man, who is very sure of himself. I know it is rubbing off on me a little bit ;) and God knows I can do with it.

In living with you, I live with a man, who lets me try out, no, not  just try out but actively encourages me to do everything I want to. Whether it is sitting for 20 minutes and staring at the fish as they wiggle about in sea, snorkel in Africa or go and speak to Sunil Gavaskar at Heathrow Airport- you always egg me on. And sometimes a little egging on is all that one needs to make an ordinary day, extraordinary;)

In living with you, I live with a man who is not a jealous, clingy husband. the day I had my book launch, you took my bag from me and said ' For today, I am your chapraasi. I will carry your bags and bring you water or whatever it is that you need from me'. You probably do not even remember it and probably said it in jest, but it was one of the sweetest things you have ever said to me.

In living with you, I live with a man who still opens doors for me and lets me get on the escalators first.

When you taste the rajma and say ' its good, but not as good as yours' dismissively looking at the cook who is stocking the refrigerator, I laugh a good few minutes before i tell you that this rajma was indeed cooked by me. The sheepish look on your face is priceless.

In spite of the horrible Baingan ki sabzi that you made the other day, I would recommend marriage (while i would not recommend putting three green chillies in a spoon ful of sabzee). Definitely recommend it. With a disclaimer. If you are getting married, be ready to change. Not because someone will force you to but because, as you adjust to another way of life, as you experience another person's ideologies and mannerisms, some of them will unknowingly rub off on you and make you different from what you were.

In a good way.
In a positive way.


Don't get carried away, Sid. You can be quite the pig head at times. But then so can I so lets call it quits there ;)

On that lovely note about pig headedness that is such an integral part of us, happy 4th Wedding Anniversary.

Love,
R





6 comments:

Roshan Radhakrishnan said...

Awesome post... and congrats to both of you. Happy Anniversary. :)

Tarang Sinha said...

Lovely post!

Happy anniversary!

Stay happy! Best wishes...:)

Heemanshu said...

1. Tag this post #educational #actionlearning
2. We need a rajma and baigan sabzi party.
3. Happy anniversary! :)

Much love.

Heemanshu

aMyth said...

Happy Anniversary!!! :)

(Visiting your blog after a long time!!)

Archit said...

Ruchita Didi !!!
Itna makkhan?
Arre apni bhi to tareef ki hoti ! :P

anaa new said...

Ruchita..I am your huge fan! keep writing..love the way u write..I am inspired to marry after reading your post hahahaha